In the mind of Nazz

by zman123

A short story, detailing Nazz's inner thoughts and emotions, about her relations with the others in the neighbourhood she lives in, about the deep pity she feels for the poor Eds, who suffer horrendous abuse each and every day from the evil, maniacal and devilish monster known as Kevin, and others just as bad (Rolf, Kankers, Johny, Jimmy, Sarah) and how she has had enough of it.

3. when the red water comes gushing out

Chapter 3: When the red water comes gushing out.

The hatred I felt for myself that day was so strong that before I went to bed, I could not help but cut a deep scar on my arm with a shaving razor, I cut and cut until the blood came gushing from the wound and formed a puddle on the floor. "I like it when the red water comes out" I said, as I felt pleasure and delight from the sharp and growing pain, which seemed more than a fitting punishment for being the awful person I was, not coming to the aid of the three most picked on and insecure victims in the neighbourhood, and leaving them to suffer unfairly.

"I like it when, the red water comes out" I sang sleepily, happy to be relieved of some of my sins, as I cut a deep wound in my other arm also, and covered both wounds up with a long sleeved sweater which I put on, before the pain lulled me into unconsciousness and I could no longer resist the urge to fall into a deep sleep, "I like it when the red water comes out, I like it, I love it, it feels so good" I repeated again and again, as darkness washed over my vision, and I fell to the floor of my bedroom, unconscious with pain and loss of blood.

I felt that the pain was penance for my evil sin of not interfering with any of the bullying the Eds were constantly subjected to, and though I was popular enough so that the other kids would take my word seriously, I did not use this power for the good of the Eds, rather I abused it by not using the fact I had a powerful voice amongst the neighbourhood, to end the bullying and abuse against the Edds , and simply because I did not wish to risk my neck by speaking against the ringleader Kevin (who I only liked so that he would give me the jawbreakers I so badly craved as it was part of a scam I made some time ago, as well as so he would not beat me up the same way Eddy's brother did).

My parents were furious at me natrually when they found me in the morning, and though the wounds I had caused to myself were nowhere near as serious as I thought them to be, my parents made me vow that I would never do such a thing to myself again for I had frightened them so much.

I agreed, and though, since that nervous breakdown, my urge to injure myself had gone and I was true to my word that I would never harm myself like that again, I still felt the damage I had given to myself that day was justified, I felt that it was a rightful punishment for how cruelly I had treated the Eds, how though I could have been better than the other kids in the neighbourhood, I chose not to be, and though I never injured myself like that again, deep down, I felt that when the red water came gushing out of my flesh, it was the happiest feeling I had ever felt for the pain I felt when the red water came out, was redemption for my unforgivable crime of refusing to help the Eds when they were clearly in need of my help.

This story is now finished, please comment to speed up production of sequel (for details of sequel, see last chapter) any comments would be much appreciated and you would be an epic person. Thank you in advance.