Chapter 4, a grave blunder, an opportunity missed.
There was a time when I lectured the other kids about how mistreating a young vulnerable child such as Jimmy was wrong, and how to make fun at him at his own expense was morally incorrect, now I wish that when I had given that lecture, I had given it for the Eds instead, for they needed friends who cared about them, and to be treated with more respect more than Jimmy ever needed it.
How I wish that day, it was the constant mistreatment of the Eds that I chose to point out and criticize, and not the mistreatment of Jimmy, no, while Jimmy had suffered only one such case of abuse and humiliation, the Eds had suffered perhaps hundreds…
Why I chose that day to point the finger at the others for being cruel and mean to Jimmy and not the Eds, I'll never know, ah if only I could turn back time…
That day when I made that speech, a speech that had the power to change a life, or three, for the better, a speech that could change the neighbourhood and make it the calm, tranquil and most of all, fair and happy place it used to be, one that could stamp out all cases of bullying and all unfair treatment for whoever I wanted, and I blew it, I had one chance that day to stop the hatred between the Eds and the other children (some of which were my closest friends) and I blew it, I blew it by taking pity on Jimmy instead, simply because in that moment, he seemed to be the one in need the most. In that moment, I turned my back on the past and failed to see the bigger picture, I only saw Jimmy as he was sniggered at by the other kids, and the pain on his face as he faced such humiliation and shame.
Yet why, when I cared so much about a child who had been humiliated once, did I not care about a trio who had been humiliated and abused their whole life?, why? Why did I not speak out against the cruelty the Eds suffered on that day, and instead condemn the other kids for giggling a bit for Jimmy, and to be fair, I think Jimmy overreacted a bit and he was a bit of a drama queen, and to be frank, I think the other kids were laughing with him, not at him.
But why, why if I could bring myself to give such a heartfelt speech for someone who had suffered such a minor case of very mild teasing and abuse, could I not have given the same speech, for three poor unfortunate souls who had spent their whole life being harassed relentlessly, beaten up several times and left half dead and unconscious, and humiliated and laughed at and shamed, not just 3 or 4 times a week, nor once or twice a day, but at every second they stepped out of the safety of their houses.
In school, on the bus, out in the neighbourhood, wherever the Eds went, they were not welcome, and people would always make fun of them, belittling them and making a laughing stock out of them just for the sake of the sick enjoyment they got out of seeing others suffer, just thinking about it makes me sick.
And yet, I threw my one chance at finally letting the Eds be welcomed into the neighbourhood, for them to finally walk amongst us as regular civilians who were respected and treated with fairness and care. And all because of my stupidity of living in the moment, brought my attention to the incredibly petty situation Jimmy had found himself in at that moment.
I let the Eds down, I showed that I cared more about a person who was teased very mildly for the sake of a fun harmless joke just once, than for a group of unfairly misjudged and misunderstood outcasts, who had probably never known what it was like to have a friend or someone who cared for their wellbeing and had always been treated as if they were objects, slaves or demented brainless animals who deserved to be thrown in the nuthouse. They had never been treated as a human with rights ought to be, they had been cheated and abused by sicko's and psychotic psychopaths, who used cheap and completely fabricated and made up excuses for the sake of causing pain to them. Look at the two people and tell me, who do you think deserves pity the most? Yeah, I thought so, the latter of the two. And yet, on that day, why could I not see that it was the suffering of the Eds I ought to have talked about, not some happy go lucky child whining over a minor, unimportant incident. Why was I such an idiot?
It wasn't Jimmy's misfortune I should have scolded, it was the Ed's, but what good is there in looking back or wondering what might have been? it's too late. All I can say is, if there were a way I could go back in time, to change my actions of that day, to go back to that episode called "boys will be eds", so that I could give a much more useful and necessary speech about how the Eds should be treated better, instead of wasting such a good speech, on such a pointless, needless cause. I'm sure the other kids didn't laugh at Jimmy because they wanted to make a laughing stock of him and to upset him, they just wanted to tease him a little to show they like him, but laughing at the Eds for no other reason than to upset and shame them … that's a different story.