Someone was having trouble finding the picture so I will be more specific: TheRookieCookie on deviantart titled "Requested Hans and Kristoff." Just so you know. I haven't updated in forever so this is just a bonus chapter. Basically it's about Hans' discovery of Kristoff, the way his messed up mind thinks they met. He really met Kristoff the way the movie said but this is how he remembers it. Here it is.

Damn, Anna is a crazy bitch. First her sister is a bitchy witch, then she has to "save her" and now she is just damn crazy! How can a kiss reverse ice? It makes no sense! Whatever. But thank God this sexy, hot guy came to get her to the crazy house.

Snowmen don't talk and giant marshmallows are just another reason why I only eat chocolate.

Mmmm chocolate. I'd eat chocolate off of him any day.

Oh shit! He's coming over here!

(They are currently on the boat that is taking Hans back to the Southern Isles. Kristoff is merely about to beat the shit out of Hans for what he did.)

"Hello there, how may I be off service to you?"

He is so cute when he looks taken aback!

"You can… um…"

So HAWT! I want him in my love bed!

"You can suck my dick."

(Hans is merely hearing what he wants to. In reality, Kristoff said you are such a dick.)

Well this is taking a turn for the better," Gladly."

Damn he is so sexy when he gets all red like that!

"You are such a love machine." (You are such a loveless monster.)

Ooohh~ "That I am, that I am."

"I like your ass, you hot devil." (I hate your ass, you fucking demon.)

I'm getting some tonight! "Perfect, I am glad we are in agreement."

"Excuse me sir, we are about to leave."

AWW~ what a kawaii smile! "Thanks, I'll be off in a moment."

As things are going so well, it's time to get my crew into action. My crew is only loyal to me. We are actually pirates and going to our hide-out. Screw the Southern Isles! I got what I wanted, let's head out!

As I grab Kristoff's ankle I yell," LET"S GO!"

Immediately the ship leaves the port. Someone knocks Kristoff out and unlocks the door to my cell. Just as planned! On my request, some crew members carry him to my personal chambers and I prepare for my intimate night with my sexy ice harvester.

Ok so Hans really is a pirate in this just in case you were wondering. Hans is seriously messed up in the head. All he wanted out of this was a hawt sex goddess/god. Arendelle was just a bonus. I thought this would be fun so have a few laughs for me ok? Ok, sounds like a plan. See you next time!