-- ---------- --
_the number one question is how could you ignore it_
-- ---------- --
The rain poured down from the heavens, creating puddles in every exposed surface of Forks; practically turning the place into a lake. Bella looked up at the dark gray sky, and sighed as she exited the hospital, splashing into puddles without a second thought. Down the sidewalk, she could make out her friends waiting for her, crowded around the hood of Tyler's car. 'All except one,' Bella thought sadly, pausing for a moment and looking back at the imposing building. She shivered as the rain made it through her layer of clothing, and was grateful when Tyler and Randy both wrapped arms around her, tucking her into their sides as they opened the car door for her. She glanced at Elliot as she scooted next to him.
He looked horrible. His clothes were wrinkled, and messy; his shoes didn't match, and he looked as if he'd gone days without sleep, a shower, and food. Bella's heart caught in her throat, and she reached for his hand only to have him shrug her off, and turn away from her completely. Tears brimmed over and down her cheeks as she placed her hand back in her lap and looked down at her muddy shoes. The rest of the group glanced at the scene, and awkwardly looked away. Tyler started the car, and instead of blasting the music, he kept it to minimum volume as he navigated through the rainstorm. 'Riley should be here to break this silence. She should be here to make things alright with Elliot and I. Riley would have never let things get like this. Riley should have-,' Bella closed her eyes to stop the onslaught of guilt and the heavy thoughts.
"Is anyone else here hungry? I'm starving. Bella, what do you want? You're always bitching that hospital food's disgusting. So what's it going to be? McDonald's? Wendy's? We have the whole fast food world, darling," Stephanie slurred, attempting to lighten the atmosphere. But she had mistakenly used Riley's favorite joke.
Elliot lashed out, his eyes narrowed.
"Shut the fuck up. Don't you dare say that shit again. That's Riley's thing. Not yours," his voice low and acidic, angry. Stephanie froze both in shock and fear. Then her eyes flashed.
"Wrong, Elliot dear. That was Riley's thing," Stephanie corrected harshly. Tyler and Randy jumped in.
"Stephanie, do you realize how utterly insensitive you're being at the freaking moment?!" Randy shouted, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Tyler did his best to calm Elliot down.
"You stupid confused bitch! Don't fucking call me dear. Do you fucking hear me?!" Elliot roared, and Tyler stopped the car to lean into the backseat and push Elliot down.
"Insensitive? I'm the insensitive one? You've got to be shitting me. Look what the hell he's doing to Bella!" Stephanie fought back, her voice rising in volume.
"Stephanie man, now's not the time! Come on! Don't make her feel worse," Randy pleaded, desperate for her to be quiet.
"That's the only person you care about! It's Bella! What about Riley?! Does anyone else but me remember that she's-" Elliot screamed; car horns and outraged shouts were heard outside as drivers maneuvered around Tyler's car.
'
"Get your head out of your ass, you dick. What about Bella? Or did you forget that she cares about Riley too? We all care about Riley, but she's dead. Right now, we have to help Bella, who's alive and breathing!" Stephanie snapped.
The whole car froze.
"Riley's not dead. She's still alive," Elliot whispered.
"She might as well be dead. She's in a coma, even the doctors said it'd be a miracle for her to live," she glared. "We have to help Bella," she repeated.
"Shut the fuck up," Elliot muttered. "Just like Riley's dead to you, Bella's dead to me."
Thunder clashed all around them as the car door slammed shut.
"You forgot she was in the car, didn't you?" Stephanie hissed, slapping Elliot in the face. He didn't react. Stephanie ran out of the car, dodging a car and waiting for another to pass by. By the time she made it to the corner, Bella had disappeared.
Stephanie came back, soaked and with dripping hair. "Fucker," she muttered darkly as Tyler circled the block and Randy called Bella's cell phone.
-X-
Bella scowled as she heard the sirens getting nearer, and ducked into an alleyway. Lightning struck, lighting up the night as she trudged in further. The rainstorm had been going on for half the day; didn't even show signs of stopping. She was going to get sick and die, mugged or raped, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She felt guilty, abandoned, and alone in a time like this. She blamed herself for Riley's… condition. She sighed even as the rain slid off the roof and into the back of her shirt, showering her in coldness. The town's only helicopter flew by, its light shining down and bright at the entrance of the alley. She smoothly ran the opposite direction, and hauled herself up on a fire escape ladder, hiding behind the stairs as the light passed her. She waited for a few moments, then made her way back down and out of the alley.
She strode over to where a wine red Mustang was being parked and shouldered the driver as they stepped out. The keys fell from the driver's hand and the driver was too preoccupied and getting back dry that he took no notice. Bella swooped down and picked up the keys, and slid inside as the owner shut the door of his house behind him. She started the car and sped down the road, bypassing the hospital on the way. Her phone rang in her pocket, vibrating to life against her leg. She bit the inside of her cheek, and ignored it for the umpteenth time that hour. She finally pulled into her driveway, exhausted, cold, and wet.
Charlie was sitting on the couch, a can of beer in one hand and the TV remote on the other hand. He sneered as she walked by, but did nothing. Bella sighed in relief and made her way up the stairs to her room, grabbing a duffel bag from the top of her closet and dumped clothes, chargers, and bathroom necessities into it before heading back down the stairs.
"Where the fuck are you going?" Charlie raised an eyebrow, the can being crushed into his fist.
"I'm staying at Stephanie's for the weekend, to help me cope with Riley's condition and all," Bella mumbled, looking at the floorboards beneath her soggy Reeboks.
"Serves you right, dumb shit. Who the hell told you to skip school in the godforsaken woods anyways?" Charlie muttered darkly as another can replaced the empty one.
-- ---------- --
I don't know what's worth fighting for
-- ---------- --
I winced as I slipped out of the Mustang, promising myself I'd get one for myself someday soon. I sighed and walked into the crowded airport, people pushing and shoving all around me in a hurried frenzy. Completely annoyed, I waited in line for a good half hour before finally reaching the counter. The lady behind the counter was grouchy, and old. Not to mention bitchy. I clicked my teeth as she rattled on about some airline with special discounts or something like that.
"Listen lady, shut the hell up and tell me what's the farthest flight from here," I hissed between clenched her teeth and the lady's mouth snapped close in shock.
"Why! I've never-," she objected, her eyes going wide then narrowing with the oncoming bitch fit.
"I don't give a fuck. Just do your damn job, which you're failing miserably at, by the way. Get me a ticket to Rome, and make it a window seat. Oh, and make sure its soon," I interrupted, twisting my hair out of my face as I continued.
The lady huffed, and typed noisily into her outdated computer, handing me a ticket and pointing me in the direction of the terminal.
"You're flight leaves in 30 minutes," she said, a Cheshire cat grin spreading its way on her lips.
"You bitch," I glared before flipping her off and jogging quickly towards my destination. I groaned as I saw the line to get through airport security.
A teenage boy of about 13 looked at me, a swirly lollipop in his mouth. I narrowed my eyes and hissed quietly at him, and he jumped back, screaming in fear and pushed his mother out of the way and gestured for me to skip him. I glanced at the mother, feigning a look of confusion before moving up in front of them. I looked at my next victim, a business man whose attention was consumed by a newspaper. It was not going to work on a middle aged prick.
"You should try being nice to those who attend you, and maybe you wouldn't be so stressed out to meet a nearly impossible deadline," a velvet voice deadpanned from behind me. I held back a gasp, and felt murderous anger rise up in me.
"Get away from me," I bit out, as I glanced over my shoulder at Edward. A brief look of agony crossed his features but gave way to a look of annoyance.
"I'm trying to help you," he quipped as he grabbed my elbow, towing me to the nearest officer. They exchanged low, mumbled voice and Edward flashed some sort of ID at him. The guard's eyes widened, and let me pass through without even glancing at my duffel bag.
"I've bet you've had loads of time to perfect your lying skills," I scowled, even as he continued to tow me towards my plane.
"Why Rome?" he asked, stopping abruptly causing me to stumble. I looked up at him, flicking hair out of my eyes bewildered.
"Why not Rome?" I answered testily, righting my balance at last.
"Don't go there," he pleaded, placing his hands in my shoulders. His eyes bore into mine, the topaz melting into smoldering amber; my breath hitched.
"Don't touch me. I need to get away from you, and your family. I need a fucking break," my voice broke as I looked away. "And this guilt is killing me. All I've thought about since I woke up at the hospital was what happened in the forest. And Christ, I'm going insane. How can I ever go back to my friends when all I can think is, 'I don't know why he picked me but I'm glad he did'? And the pathetic part is, I mean it. I don't want to die, I don't want to be in Riley's condition. I'm glad I'm alive."
"Your friends would understand that," Edward argued, his eyes searching my face as I looked back at him.
"Not Elliot, never him. He was like a brother to me, but he was desperately in love with Riley. Not Randy. Oh, God," I whispered as despair pierced through me again. I turned away as I headed towards the plane. I didn't want to say goodbye to Edward, and I couldn't take one last look at him.
Instead, I just kept walking.
My phone rang as I neared the flight attendant, and Stephanie flashed across the screen. I froze for a second, looking at her picture. She was smiling, her blonde hair catching the light and her eyes shining at me. Tears formed in my eyes, and I blinked them away.
"Miss?" The flight attendant asked me tentatively. I looked up at her, and smiled politely.
Then I snapped off the upper lid of my phone, and let the pieces fall to the floor and get crushed under my heel. I finally turned back and looked at Edward, who was watching me intently, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
"Cancel my account with the company, yeah?" I grinned sadly and finally ducked into the plane.
-- ---------- --
or why I have to scream
-- ---------- --
I clicked my tongue irritably as I glanced at my wrist watch for the umpteenth time. They were late. The waiter came by, a handsome black haired man with broad shoulders, and tapped his pad impatiently. I grimaced at him and looked around for someone who might be heading towards the table I was seated. No such luck. Growling under my breath, I threw down some euros to pay for the coffee and his tip before pushing the chair away from the table and strolling out of the outdoor café. I joined the crowd on the sidewalk, just letting them pull me along as I admired the city of Rome as the sun's heat beat down on me in what seemed like pulses. This city had always been alive with a different kind of life, and it always seemed to entrance me, pulling me in until I was lost in the ancient wonders the city had to offer me. Thankfully, it was late summer so not many tourists were polluting the city seeing as school would be starting back in America so when I found myself facing the Trevi Fountain, I didn't mind the crowd as much. Back at my apartment, I had negatives, profiles, dozens of photos of the fountain just littering my dark room, but I hadn't the heart to throw them away. Tugging my phone out of the pocket of my skinny jeans, I texted my secretary quickly, my fingers flying over the touch screen before cramming it back inside.
In Rome, thanks to some prearranged help from Edward, my name became Bella DiSchiuso, and I became a freelance photographer for fashion and travel magazines, gossip papers and newspapers alike. I was world renowned and very very wealthy. I lived alone in central Rome and had enough friends to keep me busy sipping beers back at their place to keep me from thinking of the friends I had left behind. My history was both fake but believable, so no one in America would have any reason to think that Isabella Swan and Bella DiSchiuso are the same person. My appearance had changed within the last four years, originally I had cut my hair short and had it dyed to a deep, rich honey color that bordered on light brown, got colored hazel contacts, and got much tanner. But as my body grew longer and thinner, my hair grew out of its short crop and into extremely choppy layers that made my hair look like a hot mess even on a good day. The only downside to all of this was that I had to check in with the Cullens once every two months and in turn they would tell me how everything back home was doing.
Charlie had gone to rehab, all of the AA meetings, and was out and now waited for my arrival every day, sitting on the front porch with a new bouquet of flowers and tears only minutes away. Elliot had finished out high school with the gang, but his personality took a turn for the worse and afterwards he went off to UCLA and he visited as often as he possibly could and didn't have eyes for anyone but Riley. Stephanie had left the gang shortly after I left, hung out more with the La Push kids, getting more reckless and uncaring by the day. She passed high school and opted to go to Boston for college. Randy and Tyler stayed together in their decisions, made it through high school with Elliot but stayed in Forks, going to the local community college so that they could see everyone else when they visited, and still be able to see Riley. Meanwhile, I had hit it big, and eventually managed to pay back the Cullens the money they had lent me so that she could get started. I'm fully independent and had a pent house apartment in one of the more prestigious complexes where many famous actors lived and was being flown to different parts of the world by my employers every odd week. But I'm alone.
The phone in her pocket vibrated against my hip, digging it out, I jabbed the answer button aggressively after glancing at the caller ID, answering in fluid Italian.
"Pronto." (Hello.)
"Signora DiSchiuso?" (Miss DiSchiuso?).
"Si? Chi è questo?" (Who is this?)
"È Aldo Brancato. A parlare della riunione di lavoro." (It's Aldo Brancato. To talk about the business meeting.)
"Oh, certamente. A proposito di come avete sprecato il mio tempo con la vostra incompetenza?" (Oh, of course. About how you wasted my time with your incompetence?).
"Ora, guarda qui. Siamo molto impegnati persone, e abbiamo assunto, tu lavori per noi." (Now, look here. We are very busy people, and we hired you, you work for us.)
"Sbagliato. Io non lavoro per voi. Tu mi ha chiamato e mi ha chiesto di fare un tiro di foto per voi, per non salire a bordo di un dipendente. E per quanto riguarda la riunione d'affari, non vi sarà alcun rinegoziazione. Qualsiasi rinegoziazione avrebbe dovuto essere fatto prima della scadenza originariamente concordato. Ti ho mandato i termini da me a prendere il posto di lavoro, quando hai chiesto che hai firmato e approvato dai. Ora devo circa ottocento euro per i 45 minuti che ho sprecato aspettando in quel caffè, come documentato dal cameriere e telecamere di sicurezza. Tutti nel contratto che avevo inviato via fax al vostro ufficio circa cinque minuti fa con la vostra firma in fondo. Arrivederci." (Wrong. I don't work for you. You called me and asked me to do a photo shoot for you, not to come aboard as an employee. And as for the business meeting, there will be no rescheduling. Any rescheduling should have been done before the time originally agreed upon. I sent you the terms of me taking this job when you first asked which you signed and agreed by. You now owe about eight hundred euros for the 45 minutes I wasted waiting in that cafe as documented by the waiter and security cameras. All in the contract I had faxed to your office about five minutes ago with your signature at the bottom. Goodbye.)
Ending the call, I kept the phone in my hand as she walked through the glass doors of a business building alive with ringing phones, harassed assistants, and haywire electronics. Crossing the extravagant lobby to the elevator pool, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A worn and paint stained with neon colors large Metallica shirt with tight medium denim colored skinny jeans and ACDC high top converse. 'And I was the owner of this corporation, of this building, of my own business.' I shook of the awe that always overcame me, and pressed the button to the top floor. The doors opened after a few minutes, and I traded my phone for the coffee cup my secretary handed me and made a beeline for my office. I set down the heavy camera that hung around my neck on the glass desk and took my place behind my iMac computer in the plush swivel chair that looked out of place but loved just the same. My secretary was a freshmen in college, petite with dyed dark red hair and colored contact gray eyes. I had no idea what her name was.
Setting down my schedule for the day in front of me, I reprimanded her for booking me to shoot with Ferre as I hated his taste in models and told her in a cold, emotionless voice that I would instead be going to the Canon factory to see if they had any new cameras for me to try out and test. Dismissing her, I turned to the computer, typing replies to emails and began to edit the pictures, and enhancing the features of some models to attract my audience's eyes both to the product and the model. The phone on my left started beeping, (it's Ferre! He wants to know why you cancelled on him, he isn't happy!), I picked up and pressed the flashing Line 1 button.
Sighing, I assured Ferre that I would be more than happy to reschedule his shoot and politely suggested to pick another model seeing as though the one he favored was both bitchy, and came out as hideous as inhumanely possible in a picture. Besides, she was probably sleeping with him seeing as she had no other offers for modeling work. Curling my lip in slight disgust, I hung up the phone in good terms with Ferre and wasted no time in telling my secretary that I shouldn't have to make my own excuses when that's what I'm paying her for. My cell phone that my secretary had placed next to my coffee vibrated again and seeing 'Edward' flash across the screen propelled me to snatch the phone quickly to my phone and I jumped to my feet, walking out my office doors and towards the elevator.
"It's a busy day, today." Several employees came up to me, all with different papers and pictures for me to approve and sign on and I pointed them towards my secretary exasperatedly.
"You're always busy when it comes to calling us, Miss Swan." Grinding my teeth together, I glanced at a photo one of my senior photographers had taken and edited before ripping it and throwing it to the floor.
"Don't call me that, unless you want me to head on over to CNN." Finally having made it to the elevator doors with no more interruptions, I tapped my foot impatiently against the marble floor.
"That didn't work out well for you last time, and it won't work out a second. Give up that silly little threat. Arguing is not what I called you for." The elevator dinged open, and began its descent towards the first floor lobby.
"I assumed as much. I still had a good two weeks left to call your family. What's happened?" The security guard nodded over to the town car waiting at the front of the building, my driver holding out the door for me.
"It's Riley. She's…awake." I froze momentarily on my way out the doors, and dozens of cameras flashed in my direction as I was recognized up and down the street by both tourists and paparazzi.
"That's…great." The words were heavy in my throat, and I fell onto the leather backseat with a dull thud as shock started to wear down on me.
"There's a problem. When Victoria attacked her that last time, some of the venom had gone into her. And it was very minimal as we didn't even smell of it. All this time she's been in a coma, we thought it was because of her injuries..." The grip on my phone tightened, my stomach clenched and I immediately began dreading the next words that were to come but remained silent.
"As fate would have it, she's one of us. And it gets worse, she's revealed it to Elliot who not only refuses to stay away but is looking for you. And he knows we have something to do with your appearance. So the only deal we could make with him is that we will bring you to him in exchange for his silence." My throat seized up as my driver got caught in traffic.
"Why does he want... me?" I drew deep breaths to calm my stomach down.
"He.., well, he wants to know whether we're murderers and he wants to see how much you know. And to make Riley happy. She's been asking for you. " I opened the car door just in time as my stomach started to heave, and I was emptying out all the food I had eaten onto the cobblestone street. The driver asked me incoherent questions in alarm before handing me a bottle of water through the window dividing us.
"Do I have a choice?"
"No." I took a swig from the bottle, and spit it out, cleaning my mouth. I slammed the door closed and leaned back into the seat.
"Brilliant."
-- ---------- --
_i want to be in the energy, not with the enemy_
-- ---------- --
It was raining in Forks, like it always had been when she had lived there. 21 year old Bella stepped into her hometown, no longer the independent, successful Bella DiSchiuso, but the reckless, law breaking and angry Isabella Swan that had skipped town six years ago and left behind a broken group of friends and a completely destroyed house whose owner was alive by the skin of his teeth. She had taken a week vacation as soon as her workday had ended, her first vacation ever, and had arrived in Washington just a few hours ago. Dawn would come in an hour, hour and a half at most and in the absence of sunlight, chills ran down her spine. Her breaths drew clouds in the air before her before disintegrating into nothing. She couldn't help but wonder if what was happening to her being here was somewhat similar to that. Her hair dyed back to its natural color, and the colored contacts off, she began to walk, her iPod blaring an Evanescence CD into her ear, and her first professional camera hung around her neck. It was worn, and outdated but she loved it with what was left of her mangled heart and was her safety blanket in a way. The street her father's house lay on swerved into view, with one flickering streetlight casting a beautifully eerie glow onto a small, nearly withered flower that barely grew in the middle of a pond-like puddle. Biting her lip, she checked the film in the camera, before taking a picture. Zooming in, and another click. Darkening the lens, click. Punching the settings back to normal, she kept walking towards her father's house, slightly calmer than she originally had been and being careful not to tread into any puddles.
The porch light was on.
Charlie scowled in the kitchen, throwing his dinner onto the linoleum floor in disgust. Bella squirmed nervously in the seat opposite, fingers twitching under the table as she slowly inched her chair away from him. Charlie rose, red rising onto his face, drunken eyes having trouble fixing onto her. In one furious roar, he swept the table and its contents to the floor, the table on its side, no longer separating father and daughter. Bella sprung out of her seat, kicking her chair towards her father as an obstacle before running towards the stairs.
"Go on, run you little shit! Just like your mother! But I'll be waiting for you here with the porch light on! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'LL BE WAITING RIGHT HERE FOR YOU!" he bellowed into the night air, and Bella dropped from her window, running towards Riley's apartment dreading her return.
Bella reached the porch, tensed her shoulders as the wooden steps creaked but continued the trek to the door. Her keys clattered together as her hands shook but she got the key in the keyhole and swung the door open to reveal a tidy living room. A rug was covering majority of the tiled floor, shielding both bloodstains and bad memories from the surface. The TV had been replaced with a slightly newer version that didn't look so abused, or used at all really. She closed the door behind her, the lock clicking with an ominous sound. The kitchen hallway light was on, and she could make out a lone shadow stretched out on the wall.
"B-Bella?"
"BELLA! IS THAT YOU?! YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW! STOP STALLING! I CAN HEAR YOU!" The chair scraped horrifically, and the shadow on the wall shrunk until she could see the silhouette of her father stalking out of the darkness and into the light of the kitchen hallway. Bella swallowed nervously, stepping back into the living room.
"YOU'VE CUT CLASS AGAIN? WHERE DID YOU GO OFF TO WITH THOSE BOYS?! YOU LITTLE SLUT, YOU WERE WHORING AROUND WEREN'T YOU?! WEREN'T YOU?! JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER, ALWAYS LIKE YOUR MOTHER! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE?! WHY CAN'T YOU BE GOOD?! Always like your mother… Why couldn't she love me?" Charlie's red eyes gathered tears that spilled over flushed cheeks and he began to cry much like a child in the middle of the hallway. Weary, Bella came close to her father, and hugged him slowly, cautiously. Minutes passed. A sickening thud, and Bella was thrown across the floor.
"Always like your mother."
She walked into the kitchen, hearing the chair slide across the floor quietly in time for her father to stand just as she appeared in his line of sight. There was a cup of coffee that was still steaming on a table that looked unfamiliar to her, a table that was clean, and made of dark wood, and stood sturdy. The kitchen was nearly spotless, except for an old cabinet door that was stained with water damage from an old thunderstorm. Dishes were clean and being dried in a rack next to the sink, sitting next to a new coffeemaker under school pictures, group pictures, old pictures of Bella and her friends, Bella and her mother, and of Bella herself. Charlie himself looked surprised, and shocked; dark brown hair hanging low into his chocolate brown eyes that mirrored Bella's, bags coloring his high cheekbones. He looked tired, and worn out but soon, wrinkles at the corners of his eyes appeared and he smiled as tears made their way down sandpaper like cheeks. He still towered her by a half foot, and he used it to his advantage by enveloping her in a hug. Her eyes remained fixed on a picture of her and her mother, even as her arms slowly hugged him back lightly. Pulling back, he looked from her to the picture and a light bulb went on in his head.
"You're nothing like you're mother. I'm sorry for everything. I love you."
Bella looked at her father, and hugged him, sobbing into his shoulder. Her father clutched her to him happily, euphoric tears making his face.
-- ---------- --
_a place for my head_
-- ---------- --
Hey.
Sorry for the extremely late update, bad case of writer's block.
I'm really so sorry.
At least my writing got better... kind of?
Any criticism is welcomed, as long as its not a flame.
Thank you(: