Happy New Year everyone! I hope you enjoyed your holidays. Here's chapter 21, 6 more chapters to go. I hope you'll like it.

I received a guest review informing me that there will be no heart transplant, or of any other organs for that matter, if someone has an actively spreading cancer. The only exception is brain cancer that has not spread past the brain stem. I would like to thank whoever sent this review, this information is very much helpful. I have no medical training and have not had any close contact with someone with cancer, so I couldn't possibly have known this. It's kind of too late to change the story now, but I am sure taking note of this for future reference.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

So have you ever been caught in a sea of despair?
And your moment of truth
Is the day that you say "I'm not scared"

Put your hands in the air
If you hear me out there
I've been looking for you day and night
Shine a light in the dark
Let me see where you are
'Cause I'm not gonna leave you behind

If I told you that you're not alone
And I show you this is where you belong
Put your hands in the air
One more time

Shinedown - Unity

Chapter 21 - Unity

BPOV

"So Bella, how are you?" My therapist, Dr. Emily Uley, asks me at my next appointment, the week after my break down.

"I'm… fine. I had a break down. Last weekend." I hear her scribble something on her notepad.

"Can you tell me what happened, Bella? What provoked it?" I see the slight squint of her eyes and know this either really excites her or saddens her one. I can't tell by the mask she wears which emotion wins out.

I don't know where to start. It takes me a moment to gather my thoughts, what to say, what not to say…

"I received a letter. From my mother." I stop for a second, wondering how to say this.

Bella, it's your therapist. You don't have to be careful of her feelings or anything.

Right.

"She wrote me a letter to apologize, she said she had been selfish, and she wants me to let her donate her heart to Mrs. Cullen." It sounds so trivial when I say it out loud but deep down inside it's tearing me apart. "Apparently she's sick with pancreatic cancer, and it's too advanced to be treatable. She said it's the only thing she wants from me, to let her do this so that I can have a mother figure in my life." My thumbnail now bleeds as I dig into the skin with my last few words.

I hear Dr. Uley scribble some more on her notepad.

"Did your mother say why she thought she had been selfish?" Dr. Uley speaks to me as she glances over her glasses.

"Yes." As stupid as it seems I can't say the words out loud to Dr. Uley, even though I know there is no judgment, I just can't. So I pull out the letter from my purse and hand it over to her, but she doesn't read it.

"Won't you read it?" I ask, confused.

"Yes, but first I want you to tell me how you feel about the things she said in this letter."

I take a moment, because honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about this whole thing. I tell her that.

"I don't really know…"

"I understand Bella, but by saying it out loud, it will help you sort it out." How does she pick up on my one weakness and know to push me on it? She's either brilliant or evil, I can't quite figure it out.

"Okay." I take a deep breath. "First, I'm angry at her. I'm so angry, for making me live this hell for two years, but in a way, I'm also grateful, because it brought me Edward."

"We'll get back to that in a moment." Dr. Uley says. "What else?"

"I also feel grateful, because there is a very good chance her heart will be a match for Mrs. Cullen. A woman who quickly became a mother figure to me, and I haven't known her all that long. She's such a wonderful mother to Alice and Edward, and she's always so warm and welcoming with me, I can't help but see her as a mother figure. I can't handle the thought of losing her." I feel tears and the overwhelming feeling of losing it again. I push ahead because this is the place and the person to lose it with.

"That's perfectly understandable, Bella. You've never really had a mother, and Mrs. Cullen seems to be treating you as if you were her own daughter. Cherish every moment you have with her. We don't know what will happen." Her gentle smile and soothing words help my anxiety settle down somewhat.

"Yeah."

We are silent for a moment, Dr. Uley observing me, and me playing with my hands in my lap.

"Bella, do you hate Renee?"

I think about it for a moment.

"I don't hate her. I don't particularly like her, but … she did save me from Phil. She stopped him from raping me." I take a moment to think before I speak again. "I think I hated her in the beginning, when I learned that she was my mother… but when she saved me, I started to see her in a new light. Despite the fact that she left me and my dad, she still loved me, in her own way."

"Alright." She wrote something on her notepad. "Now if you'll give me a minute, I'll read this letter."

"Okay."

She truly doesn't take more than a minute or two to read the letter. When she's done, she folds it and hands it back to me.

"Do you feel Renee is honest in her letter?" She asks as she writes something else on her notepad.

"Yes."

"Good. Me too. She really does want you to move on from now on."

This has me thinking for a moment.

"You know, I may have had a breakdown after reading this letter, but it does help me to move on. At first, I thought she did this only to give herself some peace of mind, but I don't think that anymore. I mean it is to give herself a certain amount of peace, but it gives me some closure as well. Deep down, I always wondered why my mother left, why she never contacted me. Now I know. And I understand why she did what she did while I was Phil's prisoner. She may have done it to have me close to her, and I feel like in her own twisted, sick way she had my best interest at heart. She did stop Phil from raping me, and she probably stopped him from doing god knows what else."

Dr. Uley writes something else on her notepad, I can hear the scribble and scratch as the expensive pen moves across the paper.

"What do you write on your notepad?" I ask her, not being able to hold back my curiosity anymore.

She smiles. "Observations and thoughts about our sessions."

"Okay."

"Now, Bella, about Edward… Do you think you wouldn't have met him if this hadn't happened to you?" Talk about a subject change, she almost gave me whiplash there.

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I keep mostly to myself, so I think all I would have done in college is attend my classes and stay in my dorm room." I'm not sure where she is going with this line of questioning, but I certainly trust her.

"Bella, that doesn't necessarily mean you wouldn't have met him. You could have bumped into him somewhere while walking to a class." She takes her glasses off and gazes at me as she speaks.

"Maybe he would still be at Dartmouth." I offer.

"Bella," she says while removing her glasses, "everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason. Yes, what you went through was awful, but it happened for a reason. Maybe it was to lead you to Edward. Think about it."

I can't help, but smile at this, and she smiles back.

"Alright, Bella, our time today is up. I think you have come a long way, you can be proud of yourself, I certainly am."

"Thank you Dr. Uley. I really do feel better about all this. I'm not as scared as I was anymore."

"I'm very happy to hear that. I'll see you next week and call if you have any more breakdowns." Her smile lets me know she doesn't believe I will.

"Thanks, I will"

I exit the office, with a spring in my step as I make my way back to Edward's apartment. I can't help but feel that a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I can't exactly say what or why, but I do feel better. I feel more at peace with what happened to me. I may have lost two years, but I refuse to let it ruin any more of my time. I can still go to college and have a life. It has all just been postponed a little.

When I step through the apartment's door, I see Emmett in the kitchen making himself a sandwich. I swear I'll never get used to this guy's appetite.

"Hey, Emmett." I call, walking to Edward's bedroom to drop off my purse.

"Hey, Bella! How's it going?" He replies before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Pretty good, and you?"

I sit on the couch and grab the remote for the TV.

"I'm awesome!"

I laugh at that.

"So, Bella, how's life treating you?"

"Well, Emmett, I have to tell you, I'm feeling really good nowadays."

He gets the underlying meaning of my words and gives me a sincere smile.

"That's very good news, Bella."

I smile at him. Just then, the door to the apartment opens, and Edward comes in. My smile grows. I get up from the couch, run and jump in his arms.

"Oompf!" He says when he catches me. "Wow, Bella. I definitely love this kind of welcome, but what brought this on?"

I giggle and kiss him. "I'm happy."

He smiles at that. "Okay, that's good to hear. So I take it your appointment went well?"

I nod, still smiling.

"Tell me, what happened?"

"I realized today that I'm not as scared anymore, and that I'm not alone."

At this, he gives me a searing kiss and puts his forehead against mine.

"That's awesome news, love. I'm so proud of you."

"Thank Dr. Uley, she says I'm making good progress."

"I wholeheartedly agree with her."

I smile and kiss him. The kiss soon grows, but then we hear someone clearing their throat. Edward groans, and I giggle.

"Hi, Emmett," Edward says with slight frown.

"Hey, Eddie!"

If looks could kill…

"Okay, love, let me go and take a quick shower."

"Okay."

He kisses me quickly and goes into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

I go back to the couch and bring back my attention to what's on TV, when my mind wanders to Rosalie. I haven't heard from her in a while. She called a few weeks ago, and she didn't seem to be doing so well.

"Hey, Em, have you talked to Rose recently?"

"Um, yeah. I talked to her yesterday." I instantly calm somewhat just knowing he's kept up with her.

"How is she doing?"

He seems to hesitate before he answers me. "I'm not sure, to be honest. She's been kind of closed off lately. She's happy to be free, don't get me wrong, but… and don't take this the wrong way, but she has a lot to deal with. Not only her kidnapping, but also how Royce treated her. She was in this for longer than you."

I nod at that. I'm kind of surprised to hear his admission, Rose seemed so strong.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I don't know. Give her a call, I'm sure she'll be happy to talk to you. And be sure to let her know that I'm still beside her all the way. I tell her that constantly, but she doesn't seem to believe it. Maybe if she hears it from you…." His smile decreases as he trails off.

"Sure Em, I'll tell her." I pat his leg, I can't stand to see someone so eternally happy down, even for a few seconds. It just seems wrong.

"Thanks."He grabs his sandwich and heads back to his bedroom. Poor Rose, and poor Emmett. She does have more to deal with than I do. Before being Phil's prisoner, she was Royce's, and on some occasions, he was treating her even worse than Phil did… I'll call her tomorrow.

Just as I finish this thought, the door to Edward's bedroom opens and he walks out, coming to sit beside me on the couch.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, why?" I reply, perplexed.

"You seem… deep in thought."

"Oh, well… I just talked with Emmett. He was telling me Rose isn't doing so well. He says he keeps telling her he's there for her, but he's under the impression she doesn't believe him."

Edward is quiet, thoughtful for a moment.

"At the risk of sounding insensitive, she's had it rough. Rougher than you."

"No, I know. She was there way before me, and there was Royce before that."

"You should give her a call tomorrow. Let her know she's not alone."

"Yeah, I'll call her. She's not alone. Just like me." At these words I look up at him, trying to convey how thankful I am for him, our family and our friends. I need to convince Rose she's not alone.

Thoughts? Please review :o)