Somehow Everything Went Wrong

Chapter 2: Secrets of a Sort

I stood before my mirror the next morning and couldn't help but wonder why that young girl standing before me looked so … sad. Oh wait! Did I say girl? I meant boy …

I know I didn't look my best the other day, but how could they possibly believe that I was a guy? Weren't they a host club? Shouldn't they – of all people – be able to distinguish a male from a female?!

My question was easily answered when my eyes fell upon the male uniform. Honestly, I didn't want to put it on, but after what happened yesterday … I refused to stick out a second time. I didn't want to dress like a guy either, but life – apparently – enjoys watching me suffer.

Either way, I'm not letting the Host club continue believing that I'm a guy … The Harada twins' silly game is coming to an end, whether they like it or not.

…

Kairi Funaki entered the classroom with powerful strides. Her eyes locked onto two particular young men, one blonde and the other brunette. The brunette was currently focused solely on a hand-held video game to the point where he didn't realize how silly he looked with the pink, fleshy muscle poking out between his thin lips; obviously a sign of extreme concentration. The blonde, however, seemed bored as he watched his brother play from his comfortable seat upon his desk, and it was his lack of focus that allowed him to notice the young woman standing before them.

"Good morning, Kairi," Roxas spoke, snapping his twin back into reality as his blue orbs rose from his game.

"Kairi-chan!" Sora chirped.

"Ah, so now you're calling me Kairi," The girl calmly spoke, "I guess that I'm only the gay Funaki-san when you're other host members are around, hm?"

"We were only having a little fun," Roxas spoke.

"Yeah, we didn't expect our joke to go this far," Sora added.

"And yet you let it continue throughout the rest of the day," Kairi growled as she glared down at the two boys.

"If you're so angry about it then why are you wearing the male uniform?" Roxas questioned.

"B-because it's the only uniform I have!"

Roxas' lips shifted into a smirk, "That doesn't mean you had to put it on."

"True …" Kairi spat, "But that doesn't matter because this little game of yours is ending today!"

With that said Kairi stormed off to the back of the room and seated herself in a desk that was as far away from the twins as she could possibly get. A soft smile crept its way across Sora's lips as he gazed up at his brother, who was smiling as well.

"Too bad she'll still have to remain as Funaki-san," Roxas spoke, more to himself than his brother, "This should be another interesting afternoon …"

…

After her last class, Kairi headed straight to the third music room. Not because she was excited for her first day as a host – far from it – but because she needed to speak with Riku. She needed to set everything right. Luckily, as soon as she entered the room Riku was already there to greet her.

"Funaki-san!" Riku gasped, "You look like a genuine host member today!"

"About that … I'm not rea—"

"Ready to be a host?" Riku spoke up, finishing Kairi's sentence, "I know how you feel. I mean, we did spring this on you just yesterday, but don't worry you're just nervous. With a little help and some practice you'll be perfect in no time."

"No, I don't—"

"You don't have time?" Riku once again interrupted, "Nonsense, Funaki-san, you have thirty minutes to practice until the guests arrive." Riku gently shoved Kairi down onto a couch before he turned and snapped his fingers in Sora's direction, "Sora, I need your help."

"How may I serve you, my lord?" Sora questioned as he popped up next to Riku almost instantly.

Riku said nothing as he sat the spiky-haired boy next to Kairi before speaking, "To be a host you must always remain kind and gracious to your guest. Always treat her with the utmost care as if she is the most prized possession in your life?"

"'Prized possession'?" Kairi gave a small snort as she glared at the silver-haired prince.

"One of my favorite techniques to use would have to be the upward gaze," Riku spoke as he quickly took a seat next to Kairi, propped his elbow upon his knee, rested his chin within his hand, and gazed upward into Kairi's beautiful eyes, "It's a very striking look, don't you agree?"

"Not really …" Kairi spat as Sora chuckled softly.

Riku felt as though his heart had been stabbed, but continued on anyway, "It's also important to keep your eyes focused on your guest at all times. It makes them feel like they're the center of attention, which they should be." Riku leaned back into the cushions of the couch as he cupped Kairi's chin within his soft hand, forcing her to look his way, "Gentle touches are an excellent way to get the blood pumping. A soft caressing of the cheek always does wonders to bring life back into your session."

Riku smiled softly as he let his fingers travel slowly across Kairi's jaw line, "If you wish to be more discreet there is always the 'accidental' touch when exchanging items, or maybe shyly tucking a few stray strands of hair behind the young woman's ear."

Kairi rolled her eyes as she turned away from the male, "How long have you been doing this?"

"Well, I started thinking about creating a Host Club in middle school, but really the idea began in—"

"No, I mean how long have you been a womanizer?"

Riku froze as his aqua-eyes stared blankly at the young boy as if he had just been slapped across the face, "I assure you Funaki-san, that I'm not a womanizer," Riku spoke as he tried desperately to keep his cool, but his voice became unusually dark as he continued, "and you'll make damn sure to remember that …"

The room seemed to fall drastically silent as Riku rose from his place on the couch. The male took a few deep breaths before flipping his silver locks and turning back to Kairi and a frightened Sora, "Where was I?" Riku asked himself before snapping his fingers, "Right! Now that I've taught you a few things I want you to take what you've learned and use it on Sora."

"What?" Both Kairi and Sora quickly gasped.

"That's why you called me over?! You're making me play the part of a woman?!" Sora shouted as his lower lip jutted out in a childish pout.

"Sorry, Sora, you just seemed like the perfect candidate," Riku stated, "I mean, you are the submissive one out of your 'relationship' with your brother. It only seemed natural that you'd play a woman's role."

"I'm not submissive …" Sora whined as he tried – but failed – to defend himself.

"Even so, Funaki-san needs someone to practice on and since you're already here—"

"Don't worry about it, Sora," Kairi sighed as she rose from her seat, "This is stupid, and I refuse to participate."

Riku's jaw fell slack as he watched his newest host member walk off, "Funaki-san!" He shouted, "Get back here right now!"

His demands fell on deaf ears as Kairi fully ignored her 'leader' and decided to make use of her time by helping Xigbar and Demyx set up plates and cups around the many tables.

"Funaki-chan!" Demyx smiled as he lifted the girl off the ground as if she were a little child and hugged her, "It's your first day as a host! Are you excited?"

"Ecstatic …" Kairi sarcastically sighed.

Demyx didn't catch on to the sarcasm as he tugged the poor girl along while packing her brain full of tips, but Xigbar understood as he gave the girl a sympathetic smile. Unlike the other host members, Xigbar realized that little Funaki-san was far from being a male. He would admit that at first glance Kairi did resemble a young boy, but after a long hard look he began to notice the soft feminine features that her baggy clothes tried to hide.

"Demyx, can I speak to Funaki-san for a moment?" Xigbar kindly asked.

"Sure! But be quick! Funaki-chan's going to eat cake with me!" Demyx chirped before running off to the dessert table.

"Is something wrong, Xigbar?" Kairi quickly questioned.

"Just so you know, telling Riku that you're a girl isn't going to get you out of paying for the statue you broke," Xigbar stated.

"Y-you know I'm a … girl?" Kairi gasped, overjoyed to know that at least one of the members didn't fall for the twin's ruse. Xigbar smirked at the sparkle of delight within the girl's eyes before he gave her a small nod, "Well, at least someone in this club isn't hopeless."

Xigbar chuckled before his tone became serious once again, "You do realize that you'll have to remain a host despite your conditions, right?"

"I figured as much …" Kairi sighed, "But I don't want the other members to continue thinking I'm a guy. As long as they know the truth then I'm fine with being a host until my debt is paid off … even if that means remaining a guy for the next four years."

"I just wanted to make sure you knew …"

"Thanks Xigbar," Kairi spoke as she smiled up at male.

The funny thing is that on the opposite end of the room, two other members were having the very same conversation.

"I need to speak with you," Zexion hissed into Roxas' ear while dragging him over to an empty table.

"What's up, Zexy?" Roxas questioned.

Zexion twitched at the nickname, but continued with his tasks in silence as he started up his laptop and pulled up a file, "Explain to me why the student records have our pet listed as female."

Roxas let out a nervous chuckle, "Because … my brother and I lied the other day to stir up some excitement?"

"I thought as much …" Zexion sighed as he rubbed at the temples of his forehead, "Do you realize all the problems this will bring? And if the guests find out—"

"They won't find out," Roxas firmly stated.

"How can you be so sure of yourself?"

"Because I'm a Harada, and Harada's are always right," Roxas smugly replied.

"If something goes wrong I'm blaming you."

The blonde let out a heavy sigh, "I know …"

"So you'll be sure to keep this a secret."

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

"I want that in writing …" Zexion spoke before he rose and walked off, leaving a confused Roxas behind as he tried to figure out whether Zexion was being serious.

Thirty minutes later the room was filled with giggling school girls. Kairi forced a smile across her face as she sat at a table with three other girls … who were staring intensely at her. Maybe she should have taken Riku's advice to heart. She quickly racked her mind for something to say until she remembered a simple tip.

"So … Ayame, right?" Kairi questioned as she turned to the blonde with her long locks pulled back into a stylish bun.

"Yep," Ayame smiled.

"Tell me a little about yourself," Kairi spoke as she gently laid her hand across the young girl's fingers, earning a satisfying blush.

"I'm a Capricorn and I play badminton. I'm one of the best on the team!" Ayame suddenly exclaimed rather quickly, "People say my best features are my legs! Wanna see?"

Kairi blinked, still absorbing the random information that was given to her as she smiled softly, "I don't have to look at your legs to tell that you are a lovely young woman." This earned soft sighs and a chorus of 'awwww' from the surrounding students.

Ayame's blush deepened as her hazel eyes quickly dropped to the table while the girl next to her spoke up, "You're so sweet, Funaki-san!"

"I only speak the truth," Kairi stated as her eyes feel on the brunette whose name was Hana.

"What made you want to become a host?" Hana casually asked.

"Honestly, I didn't plan on becoming a host," Kairi answered, "It was Zexion and Riku who pushed it on me."

"Do you like being a host?" The third girl, another brunette named Juri, questioned.

"Actually, it's not that bad," Kairi replied, "And being surrounded by lovely women is always a plus." This earned several giggles from the surrounding girls.

"I hear you're in the same class with the twins," Juri commented, "Are you three good friends yet?"

"Uh … I wouldn't exactly call us friends yet," Kairi muttered, "More like … work associates." The girls giggled.

"Riku says that you're new here, is that correct?" Hana questioned.

"Yes, I moved here from Radiant Garden a little under a month ago," Kairi answered, already becoming tiered of their constant string of questions.

"Really? My father owns a condo there," Juri stated, "Radian Garden is always festive around the holidays so we often visit for Christmas, New Year, and the Cherry Blossom Festival." Kairi smiled as she silently agreed with the girl.

"Was it hard to move away and leave all of your friends behind?" Hana asked.

"Of course. I miss them dearly," Kairi sighed, "But your company is more than enough to fill the empty void."

Across the room, Riku was smiling as the girls from Funaki's table awed in unison. He had to admit that his pet was doing an excellent job for his first day, and the clients seemed to be instantly attracted to him. Thought Riku couldn't blame them, Funaki was simply adorable. Heck, if Funaki was a girl then Riku would have been all over her too.

"Your newest member seems to be fitting in rather nicely," one of Riku's clients spoke.

"I know, I didn't expect him to do so well," Riku commented before adding, "This being his first time as a host and all …"

"How did you find Funaki?" a different girl questioned.

"It's nothing special really," Riku began, "I was on my way to the lunch room while Funaki-san was on his way out when we met. His cute button nose was deep within pages of the famous Shakespeare tale 'Romeo and Juliet' when we collided with one another. The poor boy's books went flying so I offered to pick them up for him … and then our eyes met." Riku paused for a dramatic effect before continuing, "And it was at that moment when I knew he would be a perfect host."

"You're a dork …" Kairi spat as she popped the silver-haired prince over the head with a metallic serving tray, "You shouldn't lie to your guests like that, it's rude."

"Shouldn't you be with your guests, Funaki-san?" Riku grumbled.

"What, I'm not allowed to serve my guests snacks now?" Kairi questioned, "I was just on my way to get a few sandwiches. Would anyone here care for something?"

"I'll take some vanilla cake."

"Chocolate cake for me, please."

"Me too!"

Kairi smiled down at the girls as she made her way to the snack table before returning with everyone's orders. It was then when one of Riku's clients asked, "So if Riku-kun was lying then how did the two of you meet?"

"I stumbled across this room when I was looking for a quiet place to study," Kairi replied, "He thought I was a guest." This earned several giggles from the young girls, "Enjoy your stay, ladies." And with nothing left to say, Kairi went back to her own table with her tray of sandwiches.

"I like, Funaki-san," one of the girls spoke up, "You made a wise decision in making him a host."

"I know," Riku replied smugly.

…

Kairi was in the middle of an interesting conversation with her last guest of the day when she was targeted by the little devils. She was currently assisting her guest on choosing a new outfit that would be appropriate for a relaxing night on the town but still suitable to wear to one of her father's dinner parties when she felt a cold chill run down the length on her spine. Her 'impending doom' senses were tingling. Sadly, her senses were on the frits and didn't warn her ahead of time to allow her to escape. Before she even realized it, nearly identical shadows were cast over her frail figure … and it was in that moment when her relatively pleasant day went down the drain.

"Hey, Funaki-chan!" The twins spoke in harmony as they seated themselves on either side of the poor girl.

"Don't you have guests to entertain?" Kairi sighed.

"Nope, where're done for the day," Sora stated.

"So we decided to come bother you," Roxas spoke.

'Joy …' Kairi sighed as Roxas turned to Kairi's guest, "Did you know that Funaki-chan is gay?"

"Gay? Really?" The girl questioned as she turned to Kairi for an answer.

"I'm not gay …" Kairi grumbled.

"Really, then explain to us why you know so much about fashion," Roxas demanded as he leaned in uncomfortably close to the girl.

"Yes, do tell," Sora chuckled as he leaned in from the other side, putting Kairi in an awkward position and predicament.

"Just because I'm well informed doesn't mean I'm gay," Kairi spat in her defense, not wanting to lose a valuable customer thanks to the twins, "Do you know anything about fashion?"

"… No, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"See … not every gay man obsesses over what others wear," Kairi spat, "It's not nice to stereotype others, Roxas."

Roxas, for once, was at a lose of words as he slowly backed away from the girl, giving her back her space, "Well played, Funaki-san," Roxas spat as he rose from the table, "Come on, Sora, let's help clean up." Sora chuckled softly to himself as he followed his bother to their next victim.

"I never really liked those two …" Kairi's guest spoke, "I honestly don't see what's so attractive about a group of troublemakers. After all, one is bad enough."

"They're only having fun," Kairi replied, amazed that she was even trying to defend the two brats who got her into this mess.

"Even so, they were trying to tarnish your name, and if you ask me that wasn't very gentlemanly of them," the young woman spoke, "Why Riku chose them as suitable hosts is beyond my understanding."

"Still, they're my fellow members and I don't appreciate you talking about them like that," Kairi stated, "It's rude."

"Rude? You think I'm rude?!" the woman hissed, "They were the ones spreading lies about you."

"At least they did it openly and allowed me to defend myself, unlike you."

"I didn't pay you to treat me this way!" the woman growled as she rose from the table and stormed out of the room causing quite a scene.

Zexion, who had heard everything, smiled softly to himself as he graciously deducted a small portion of munny from Kairi's debt. He'd wanted to rid the club of that girl for a long while anyway.

"What was her problem?" Sora questioned as the twins made a reappearance at Kairi's table.

"It's nothing …" Kairi sighed, now realizing that she had just lost a client on her first day.

"Yeah … nothing …" Roxas muttered. He didn't believe the girl but he wasn't going to push it, "A kid from the office stopped by. He wanted to give you this."

Kairi took the slip of paper from Roxas' hand before a smile swept across her face, "There's a package in the office for me. I bet it's my uniform!"

The twins smiled as they watched Kairi rush out of the room, knowing good and well that the following events were going to be very entertaining.

…

The Host members had been cleaning up their room when the door slowly opened and caught their immediate attention as a young female entered the room. Her short crimson locks framed her rounded cheeks perfectly, while her deep-sea eyes sparkled in the sunlight that beamed through the open windows to softly kiss at her pale cheeks and rosy lips. Riku was awestruck by the young woman's rare, radiant beauty, but something was off. This young woman looked too much like …

"F-Funaki-san?" Riku stuttered as he stared at the beautiful boy in disbelief, "I … had no idea you were a cross dresser … If it's any consolation you make a very lovely young … woman."

"That's because I am a 'very lovely young woman,'" Kairi snapped back as she held out her student ID card that clearly stated her sex to be female.

Riku instantly snatched the card from the girl's hand to examine it before turning to the other members … who all had some form of a smile upon their faces; not including Demyx, "You all knew about this …?"

"Duh," the twins chuckled as they stuck their tongues out at their leader.

"I can't believe you actually fell for it," Roxas snickered.

"I can't believe you actually thought Kairi-chan was a boy," Sora grinned.

"K-Kairi?" Riku stuttered as he eyed the ID card before turning back to the young woman … who seemed extremely pissed.

"That's Kairi Funaki-san to you," Kairi spat as she seized her ID card, "I'll see you tomorrow, Riku." And, with nothing left to say, Kairi left.

"You!!" Riku roared as he pointed an accusing finger at the twins, "That was a horrible joke to both Kairi and myself! Tomorrow I expect a sincere apology from the both of you!!"

"What about you?" the twins questioned, "You were the one who actually believed us and forced her into male uniforms! And now she's going to have to stay that way."

Riku froze in thought. Was it really worth eight million munny to keep Kairi in a male's uniform? 'Certainly not …' Riku quickly answered. Just the thought of Kairi walking in dressed in the female uniform put a soft hue of pink upon his cheeks, "I'll drop the charges …" Riku finally spoke up, "Just as long as she visits every day and accompanies me at my table."

Yes, that was fair enough. A sly smile graced Riku's lips as the thought of Kairi at his side for the remainder of the school year in that cute, plaid skirt with the knee-high socks as she smiled up at him. Then he would be able to feed her strawberry cake and 'accidentally' get frosting on her cheek so he could lick it off for her. And when the club hours would end he would …

"No," Zexion growled, shattering Riku's peasant daydream, "She'll have to remain as a host and pay for the statue she broke. I'm not losing eight million munny to satisfy your pathetic fantasy."

"It's not pathetic …" Riku whined as he glared at the male, only to receive a cold stare in return, "But—"

"She stays as Funaki," Zexion firmly stated, ending their argument.

"Fine … but I get to make her the cross-dresser of the group …" Riku muttered.

"She already is," The twins chuckled before being chased out of the room by an angry Riku.

"There, there, Riku," Demyx spoke as he pulled his leader into a friendly hug, "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't realize that Funaki-chan was a girl either."

"Thank you, Demy," Riku sighed.

Demyx ruffled Riku's hair before releasing the male, "I'll see you tomorrow!"

"By, Demyx. By Xigbar," Riku muttered as he watched the two males exit the room, leaving him all alone with Zexion. But that didn't last long when Riku turned to the male and stared at him with his pleading aqua eyes.

"Get over it …" Zexion spat as he left.

As Riku stood within the third music room … alone … he wondered how in the world he could have mistaken Kairi for a boy. But there was no going back now … He couldn't rewind the events that happened yesterday.

So now … Kairi was considered a male by over half of the female student body … and she despised him for it …

Disclaimer: I, once again, do not own Kingdom Hearts or Ouran High School Host Club.

Hikari: Yay, another chapter is complete! Go me! Hmmm … I'm not sure if I have anything to rant about at the moment. Odd. Maybe I'll have more to say with the next chapter …

Anyway, Thank You to everyone who faved and/or alerted the story, and for the reviews! It makes me feel loved! -Huggles!!- X3

But ya know, that doesn't mean I don't want any more reviews. In fact, it would make me happier to get more reviews. –grins- Cause I know you love this story so much … okay I'm pushing it now so I'll stop. XP