Part 3
Lorelai walks into the driveway after stopping at the market to get some search supplies. She hasn't told anyone about Paul Anka's disappearing act yet. Her phone rings. It's Rory.
"Lorelai!" Lorelai walks up the steps to the front door.
"Uh, hello?" Rory sits down on a nearby bench. She sets down her messenger bag.
"Well hello there!" Lorelai starts to unlock the door.
"Mom? You are aware you just addressed me by first name formal, right?"
"Right, just wanted to see your reaction, which by the way is one I didn't quite have in mind." Lorelai opens the door and flicks on a light, looking around half expecting to be scared by a pouncing Paul Anka.
"So what kind of reaction were you expecting?" Rory wrinkles her eyebrows.
"I don't know, maybe something along the lines of 'whoa, my first name is Lorelai and I'm talking to another Lorelai. What are the odds?"
"Yyyyeah, not happening."
"Yeah, didn't think so either. Besides, I just thought to call you by your real first name seeing that you're going to big places and doing big, grown-up things in the big real world." Lorelai sets down the bags in the kitchen, switching the phone over.
"While I have become fond of the name 'Rory,' I am very flattered. And apparently, 'bIg' has become the newest hip word, 'big' news a journalist should not go without."
"And witty is still your middle name. So honey, how's the Iowa life?" Lorelai inspects the corners of the house, hoping to find Paul Anka.
"Well, after incurring a numb butt after a lenghty bumpy ride halfway across the country and seeing that I've only been here for a little over a half a day, I'd say the Iowa life is pretty darn good. The lengths journalists would go." Rory nodded and smiled, feeling satisfied.
"Well I hear that Iowa is lovely this time of year. Actually, maybe all year round. But I've also heard that Iowa's already turned my daughter into a hand-slappin', slang-speakin' Iowa native." Lorelai frowns after not finding the dog.
"Sounds about right but I'm not too sure about the hand-slappin' bit."
"I suppose I got a little carried away." Lorelai laughs nervously.
*pause*
"...And the Iowans? Are they as backwards as previously thought?" Lorelai stops walking and focuses on the other line.
"Actually, Iowa is pretty modernized, more than one might think."
"Hm, how modernized are we talking?"
"Well so far, and as one might expect, we've pased a few isolated farms and and a bunch of stinky random roaming cattle and then BAM!-"
Lorelai lifts the phone off her ear and looks at it when Rory sounded the effect.
"We passed a series of stucco-based condiminiums with red tile roofs, very charming I must say, as well as a Hannah Montana-bearing toddler who was so cute singing 'Best of Both Worlds' with a cute little toddler twist. Hello civilization."
"Aww, adorable. I'm hoping you took pictures?"
"Unfortunately, I'm not that journalist-savvy yet."
"Meh. With time, Old 'Yale'er." Lorelai starts to rearrange the pillows on the couch.
"Yep. So what have I missed?"
"Not much other than the uneventful sighting of the annual black hawk descending upon the park gazebo earlier this afternoon."
"Aww, I missed the black hawk descent? So bummed."
"Maybe so, but we got it on Blu-Ray and DVD for ya!"
"Oh goody! So everything's ok?"
"Oh yeah, everything's just dandy here, being one hour ahead and everything. Which, by the way, is somehow very difficult to remember sometimes when I think about giving you a ring at 6 in the morning."
"Please mom, you don't have to second-guess calling me. I'm up when you are. Journalists are like that. 5am and coffee's on the table without a moment's notice."
"That's tres reassuring."
*pause*
"Are you sure everything's cool? It sounds eerily calm there. I can almost hear the crickets. So spill." Rory moves around on the bench a little, getting comfortable.
"Ugh, you caught me. We lost Paul Anka."
Rory immediately puts on a serious face. "Ok. I take back my spill."
"We lost Paul Anka and he's not showing up and he left behind one very agitated mom."
"Ohhhhnoooo, not Paul Anka. Wait, who's 'we'?'
"The two Lorelais you left behind: the overly-anxious one and the dangerously emotional one."
"Aww mom, I'm so sorry. I'm sure he didn't go too far. Is he temporarily lost as in did he just go for a walk down to the park? He does that sometimes, you know, to clear his mind."
"Dogs need to clear their minds?"
"Hey, the life of a dog can get very complicated. I would need to clear my mind if I didn't know who my birth parents were."
"Ha. Ha."
"Yeah I know, not the most tasteful metaphor. So is he lost lost?"
"If lost lost means that I had to call for an emergency town meeting, then yes. Paul Anka is in fact lost lost."
"Oh my gosh...you don't think he followed me all the way to Iowa, do you?" Rory looks around, worried.
Lorelai sighs and places a hand on her hip. "Yes, Rory. I do believe he ran furiously after the giant yellow-moving fire hydrant and somehow latched onto the back with his feverish little paws. He couldn't bear one second more to be without his Rory."
"I see someone's sense of humor hasn't left Stars Hollow."
"I'm more worried about you and leaving your sense of realism and practicality over here, young lady. Why don't you swing right over indefinitely and pick it up?"
"Hey, getting the responses to serious inquiries from a presidential hopeful is as real as it gets and I haven't lost that sense of real in any essence of the word."
"I also see Iowa's made you about one..two..no TEN times more defensive."
"It comes with the job, I suppose."
"How's that going by the way?"
"What, being defensive?"
"No silly, the job!"
Rory looks down at her notes. "Well the job itself doesn't start til next week."
Lorelai over the phone. "Ugh, the old bait and switch."
Rory looks up in the distance. "We have to go through this week-long orientation thingy where they talk about the theory of writing and the art of journalism. You know, Yale 101 all over again."
Lorelai fixes the living room rug with her foot. "Sounds drier than a piece of Rye bread baking in the Iowa sun."
"Tell me about it."
"At least you're ahead of the game, kiddo."
"You know, I thought about that, but I thought how cool it would be for once If I were normal and wasn't always ahead of the game and instead humbled myself and try to play-ease my way into the world of journalism for as long as I can stand it. Being teacher's pet hasn't necessarily been my objective."
"Ugh, 'teacher's pet'. Bad pun. Bad girl."
"Oh mom, I had no idea. Here I am just rambling and out comes Paul Anka."
Lorelai turns around abruptly. "Ugh another bad pun. You almost gave me whiplash!"
"Oops, right. Paul Anka is still missing.."
"It's going to be so lonely here if Paul Anka ran away for good. Like 'Bon-Bons meets stale peanuts and fries' lonely."
"No! You will find Paul Anka and you will be back to normal with Haagen Dazs and remote and blanket in tow."
"Oh Rory, I sure hope so because I'm out of bon-bons and I don't know of any place that carries stale peanuts and fries."
"I'm sure you can special-order it. So how's Luke?
"Oh you know Luke. Just Luke being Luke and running that crazy diner."
"So are you two back on again?"
"Well so far, we've kissed and talked and kissed and talked some more if that's what constitutes as 'back on' these days."
"Sounds hot and heavy. Have you guys talked about missing one another and how googly-eyed you are for one another?"
"Well due to the turn of recent events, we have graduated to talks of how to track down Paul Anka what new name we are deciding for the elusive pup."
"Hmm. There's always Cocoa."
"Yeah but I don't want to give Paul Anka any ideas and have a sudden urge to get into the chocholate chip cookie jar."
"True. So how's grandma taking my going away?"
"Oh just fine, just dandy..."
"Mom, you've used the word 'dandy' in the span of no more than 5 minutes."
"Ok fine. She's saying she will disown us."
"Whoa, really?"
"Depends. Was that an'about time' kind of really or a 'I can't believe grandma can be this harsh' kind of really?"
"Now that I think about it, a little bit of both."
"That was a figure of speech Ror, she's not planning on disowning us unfortunately, if you see it my way. She was considering sending out the SWAT team, so be on the lookout for anything camouflage and orange spandex-y."
"Orange spandex?"
"Emily reference of one of her many bad decisoins."
"Hm, bold. I'm hot commodity, apparently."
"She is, however, reinstating Friday dinner with or without you."
"Hm, that didn't take long." Someone calls out Rory's name to get her attention. "Hey mom listen, it's been great catching up, but I've gotta go. I'll call you back when I can. Need updates on Paul Anka." She begins to gather her belongings.
"And in journalism time, that means forever and a day. And done and done."
"Hey, I'm not a journalist yet. I'm still in orientation mode that still permits semi-availability."
"Alrighty, mighty Ror. Talk to you later."
"Team Paul Anka."
"Team Paul Anka."
Rory grins and hangs up but then frowns remembering Paul Anka is missing. Her full name is called again and she immediately gathers her work bag and runs over to the group.