Part 8
Sort of long, but a crucial part in the episode :-)
The town is on search for Paul Anka deep into the woods.
"Careful everyone of the sudden dip in terrain to the right of me, which would be to your left."
Kirk walks backwards with a megaphone in tow. He ducks momentarily. "And watch out for the overhead foliage as you keep walking. Don't want to get that kind of tangle in your hair." He laughs at his joke.
"So Kirk are you going to be doing some actual dog searching sometime tonight or do you enjoy treating all of us like dogs?" Babette asks.
Kirk lowers the megaphone. "Babette, it's important to have a leader who will look out for everyone's safety tonight. And so Taylor appointed me to lead the way, which I think has been a very noble choice in my opinion. Oop, random tree bark at 11 o'clock."
"This is kind of fun, isn't it Ror?" Sookie asks excitedly.
"Yeah, except for walking around aimlessly in the dark, hearing Kirk bark at us every other second, and calling out Paul Anka as if he'll magically appear from the bushes glowing with a yellow light. Oh yeah, this has been the most fun since packing up for Rory's moving day at Yale. PAUL ANKA!" Lorelai calls out while holding the flashlight.
"Ha! 'Bark.' You said 'bark.' You know...puns..." Sookie tries, laughing nervously.
"Oh, was I supposed to laugh? I plumb forgot." Lorelai says dryly.
"Uh, Luke? Michel? A little help here?" Sookie says.
"Don't you see, Sookie? Lorelai's finally feeling the doggy blues," Michel says sadly.
"And all I'm missing is a pair of Ray-Bans and a harmonica," Lorelai adds.
"Are you alright, Lorelai?" Luke asks while walking over to her and putting an arm around her shoulder.
"I guess. I just never thought I'd be searching for my dog in Stars Hollow at night. It's just a little disheartening. Ew, whatever I just stepped on is no longer. You should have warned us about the random slime, Kirk!" Lorelai shouts at Kirk while she lifts up her foot to examine the sole.
"Listen, Lor. We'll find him," Luke reassures Lorelai.
"I sure hope so. Hey Sook, can you pass some more ginger biscuits, please?"
"Sending them right over," Sookie passes over a few to Lorelai.
"Save one for me, please." Michel butts in.
"How are those x-ray vision goggles coming along by the way, Michel?" Lorelai asks while throwing a biscuit out to a group of trees on the right.
"I'm 10 for 20. Got a few false alarms. Whenever I spotted something shiny, it was only the reflection of the flashlight hitting the ground."
"Can you see people's underwear?" Lorelai asks.
"Hmm, that I do not know."
"How could you not know? You either can or you can't."
"Yes but with these goggles, one has to squint to really get a closer look."
"Well, have you tried doing that?"
"As we speak."
"I suddenly feel very uncomfortable." Sookie says uncomfortably.
"You' and I both." Lorelai looks around. "You notice how everything looks so different in Stars Hollow at night?"
"That's because it's dark, Lorelai," Michel says, rolling his eyes.
"Hmm, fair point. PAUL ANKA!" They keep walking, random people shouting his name.
"If you were Paul Anka, what would you be doing right now? More importantly, where would you be?" asks Lorelai.
"Well right now, I'd be searching furiously for those ginger biscuits and savoring every bite," Michel says.
"Boy Michel, you have a serious pining for those, don't you?" Sookie jokes.
"In all fairness, Sookie, I skipped my only lunch today and I would rather not go all-out 'Survivor' and eat anything growing on these trees or anything creepy crawly right now. So, if I had a choice, I'd take on one of those biscuits like a Hot Pocket."
"And in all fairness Sookie, you make the best of everything. Even if they're non-people food or look like something from a Spam can," adds Lorelai.
"I make something that looks like it's from a Spam can?!" Sookie worries and starts hyperventilating.
"Wait, no, Sookie. Relax. Just a minor joke. However, I can see how one can take that seriously."
"I sure hope so. I hate Spam. It's just a lazy excuse for dinner. Like Hamburger Helper. I have two children and I couldn't imagine being that lazy. I won't even let George sink that low.
"Yeah, Sook, what is the lowest of the low for you in cooking?"
"Hmm, I'd have to say my dirty Bourbon vanilla dark chocolate caramel souffle."
"Sounds dangerously lazy."
"Yeah I know. Even I'm ashamed," Sookie replies. "Aww Poor Paul Anka. He must be so alone, wondering where his favorite toy is or when you're going to give him that usual belly rub."
"Well that's making me feel a whole lot better," Lorelai replies sarcastically.
"Did my sentiments come on too strong?"
Lorelai looks up. "No, you're right. It's always good to reminisce. I'm also wondering where he is or what he's up to. All I want to know is that he's ok, wherever he is and whatever he's doing."
Meanwhile in Hartford.
Emily and Richard are at the door speaking with the officer.
"Officer, thank you so much for stopping by. We are truly sorry for this Gilmore mix-up."
"Not a problem, ma'am. All that we ask for is your cooperation. And that, you have given us."
"You're most welcome, sir."
"Now, before we release the dog to you, we would like for you to fill out these forms for verification and identity purposes. You know, basic protocol calls prior to initial relase and transfer of personal property."
"Hm, that's quite a bit of paperwork for just one dog. Very well, sir. Would you like to come in for some tea? I'm sure this will only take a minute, but it's a gale out there." Emily crosses her arms in front of her, grasping the sides of her cardigan and pulling it around her.
Richard places a hand on Emily's shoulder. "Now Emily, let's not get carried away. Let the fine, young man do his job."
The officer nods bashfully.
"Well I'm only being polite, Richard." Emily says while smiling at the officer.
Richard nods to the officer. "Would you excuse us please?"
"I will be waiting by the squad car."
Richard slowly closes the door while facing Emily, who skims the forms. "So what do you want to do about this, Emily?"
"About what, Richard? The plan is to sign the papers and return them to the officer to get the dog back."
"Not that. I mean, what and when are we going to tell Lorelai?"
"I don't know, I suppose the truth doesn't hurt. That's something we can tell her." Emily starts to fill out the forms
"Very funny. So when do we want to let her know her dog is safe and sound?"
"I guess as soon as possible. The last thing I need from Lorelai is more backlash." Emily continues to finish the forms.
"Yeah, we wouldn't want that. Where do I sign?"
"Nowhere so far. It's only asking for one signature."
"Well that's something new. I suppose I"m so used to co-signing everything around here. Even down to the carpeting and lighting."
Emily caps off her pen and Richard opens the door while Emily walks towards it. "Excuse me officer?" She waves him down and hands over the papers. "I believe these are for you."
"Very well. Thank you Miss Gilmore." The officer nods and takes the papers away, looking over them.
"Please, sir. Call me Emily. I can't take that Miss business any longer."
The officer looks up. "My mistake, Emily. I will retrieve the dog and return momentarily."
Emily nods and faces Richard. "Lorelai's going to have a field day when she realizes her dog's shown up at the very place she tries her best to avoid."
"And we should also inform her of the importance of inscribing a little more than just your family's last name on the dog tag."
A few moments later, the officer returns with a cage in tow.
"Wow, this IS serious business," Emily exclaims while clutching Richard nervously. The officer sets down the cage and a bark ensues, causing Emily to jump and clutch his arm.
"What kind of dog is a Polish Lowland Sheepdog anyway? It's a monster!"
The officer finishes opening the cage. Out comes prancing Paul Anka towards the door.
"OFFICER?!" Emily says uncomfortably while moving away from the door and behind Richard.
"Sit, boy, SIT." Richard sticks out his hand, Paul Anka obeying the order and halting on his hind legs, taking a seat on the gravel driveway. Emily looks taken aback.
How'd you do that?" Emily shyly asks while eyeing Paul Anka.
"Just a thing or two I learned in ettiquete school. That and you remember my dear old Dalmatian Sam, don't you?"
"Oh yes. Sam. How could I forget that one..." Emily sighs. "For a second there, I thought I'd have to marry the dog when I married you."
Richard chuckles. "You wanted nothing to do with Sam. A fine dog, he was." Richard reminisces while looking intently at Paul Anka.
"Well of course not, he aways attempted to chew up my Gucci twinsets. Who knew dogs could have a penchant for Gucci."
The officer smiles to himself. "Okay folks, the dog is now officially released to you. You are now permitted to inform the rightful owner of the dog."
"Thank you, officer." Emily pauses, eyeing the officer. "Say, you wouldn't at all be single, would you?"
"Emily!" Richard starts. Emily continues.
"I don't see a ring on either finger, Richard. Do you?" She asks while eyeing the officer, who is now nervous and shifty.
"Listen, I better get going. I've got a call on the radio that I have to get to-"
"I'm sure you do. We wouldn't want to keep that call waiting. However, we also wouldn't want my daughter Lorelai to go a day without knowing who it was who sent over her dog to safety, now would we?"
"Emily..." Richard says sternly.
The officer nods. "Just tell her 'you're welcome' from Officer Rogers."
Richard extends his hand. "We apprreciate your stopping by this evening, Officer." They shake hands. Paul Anka looks on.
"Oh but you must stay for dinner this Friday night. We would like to extend our appreciation to you somehow."
"Wow, why thank you. I am honored. I know it's common courtesy to accept an invitation a second time around. But being a police officer working overtime, I'm afraid I won't be able to accept your gracious offer."
"Well, maybe another time then?"
The officer nods. "Thanks, I will be sure to pencil it in. You folks have a good night."
Emily nods. "Goodnight, officer." She and Richard watch him drive off.
Richard turns to Emily. "Emily, what has gotten into you? You clearly made that officer uncomfortable."
"Richard, I was simply suggesting he stay over for dinner."
"No, you were suggesting he meet Lorelai in hopes of courting her."
"So? What's wrong with that?"
"What's wrong is that Lorelai doesn't need you to play matchmaker anymore. She has Luke now. This discussion is over." Richard retreats inside. Emily stares blankly at Paul Anka, who stares back up at her, unmoving. "Would you like to come in for some tea? It's a gale out here." They continue staring at one another. "Do you eat ginger snaps?"