Chapter 19
Putting Me First
He followed her out on the deck seeing her trying to bandage the wound on her shoulder. For a moment he wondered why she didn't just heal it, but in the long run, it didn't matter, he just wanted to help her.
"Love, let me." He insisted, making his presence known. She didn't turn towards him, didn't even acknowledge his existence. "Love? Have I done something wrong?" He asked gently. "Because if I have, please just tell me." He raised his hand to lay it on her uninjured one but she moved before he could touch her.
"You've done nothing wrong." She says simply, not a hint of emotion in her voice. "I just forgot is all." He blinked in confusion.
"Forgot what love?" He asks.
"Forgot what I was. I remember now Captain Jones. I won't forget again." And she leaves him alone on the deck speechless.
She had never called him Captain Jones, always Sailor, or Captain, or the occasional Jones when they needed to be professional. Never something so cold.
Killian figures that whatever happened with Ingrid has shaken her, that she needs space to deal with it.
The next few days pass in a blur, Emma keeps her distance with him, looking out to the sea rather than at him, chatting with Elsa on occasion. She doesn't come and visit his room, doesn't come and get him, there is no more sparring, no more banter. There is nothing.
Anna on the other hand seems quick to find her place, offering to help Killian so he didn't have to walk back and forth between the hull and the sails. She's a quick study and eager leaner. She blames the fact that she's been doing nothing for the last half decade and would like a distraction.
He too wants a distraction from wondering what had happened with Swan, one moment he was swinging her in his arms as she laughed, the Dark One laughing in his arms, and now she was avoiding him like the plague.
But when she made a snap at Anna after the clumsy redhead tripped on a rope, skinning her knee on the deck, that Killian really knew he had to act.
"Maybe your true love can kiss you it better." Emma sneered as Killian had gone to tend to the wound. It was obvious that she had meant for it to be low, for her ears only, but Killian heard it anyway and saw the glare she gave Anna and him in that instant. It was so quick he almost he missed it.
"Swan-" He called to her, trying to get her to stop and listen for a moment. He just needed a moment, but she vanished.
He had had enough.
"Anna, can you man the ship for a moment? I need to take care of something." He asked. Her face lit up.
"Sure!" As quick as a whip she sped off, excited by the responsibility put in her hands.
Now he just had to find his Swan.
Luckily he found her sitting way below decks looking through his map collection, one of the many things she liked to do while everyone else slept.
"Swan, please." He asked her, she stood up, flicked her hand and the maps that were scattered around her were placed back where they belonged.
"I put them back." She said, ignoring him, trying to move past him. He didn't let her, daring to step in her way. He could see her eyes flickering with cold rage. "Let me pass or so help me-"
He didn't move, holding her gaze trying not to falter under its intensity. "Not until you talk to me." He demanded. "What happened with Ingrid? What changed?" She crossed her arms.
"Nothing. Nothing at all." She replied hotly. "Move before I make you." She growled.
"Then do it!" He challenged back, "Throw me back, take my heart, run away!" He could see her expression darken in a snarl. She was probably debating said actions, and in all honesty, he wouldn't care one bit.
"Swan, just tell me what changed, do you not have feelings for me? Was this all just a manipulation? Just tell me Swan. That's all I ask." She blinked in confusion.
"That's what you think this is about?" She demanded angrily.
"What am I supposed to think? Because I'm actually quite perceptive and this." He said pointing to the distance between them. "This is you avoiding me."
She sucked in a breath. "I can't stand in your way Killian. I've ruined too many happy endings to do that again, especially to you." She admitted, avoiding his eyes. He would swear her eyes were sparkling with unshed tears.
"Ruin my happiness? What are you talking about?" He exclaimed, dropping his voice a pitch, moving towards her.
"You and Anna. You're her True Love, I can't stand in the way of that." She admitted. "Not again."
And then suddenly it made sense. Suddenly he understood her temper and her avoidance. She thought that his breaking of the spell was because of a connection he had with Anna, she didn't know that-
"Emma, please look at me." He asked taking her hands. "Please."
She did, slowly, but she did.
"You don't get it Swan. It's true, my actions broke the spell." She tried to look away, to pull away, but he didn't let her, instead pulling her closer. He needed her to know. He wasn't sure he was ready to admit what it all meant, but he could not let her think that he thought or would ever think of Anna as anything more than a friend, a little sister at best.
"Because I put my life on the line, for you, because I confessed what I did to Elsa for you, because I went in to recue you." He explained. "The act was never for Anna, I didn't even know I did it, but Elsa planted her on my so the act would warm her heart or something." He scratched behind the ear feeling his face heat up, now it was his time to avoid her eyes.
"Are you saying that you-"
He shook his head. "No, I- I'm not saying that I don't but- I can't. Not yet, I'm not ready to." He said with his head down cast.
He couldn't love Emma Swan until he knew he had a future with her.
He heard Emma sigh with relief. "But you don't love Anna, you're not destined to either." She asked with a small voice?
Killian shook his head, feeling a smirk stretch on his face.
"I prefer blondes." And that was it; she reached up grabbing his jacket and kissed him, pulling him close as his hands slid down around her lower back.
It was like this weight had been lifted off her shoulders and she clung or him for dear life. She felt her hands sliding down towards the buttons of his vest in a frenzy. He pulled back.
"Damn it pirate." She cursed. "I've been trying to get over you for days, and now that I know I don't have to, you're really going to stand in the way of our fun?"
His smirk didn't disappear he just pulled her closer, up against a wall, kissing her neck as she gripped his shoulders. He stopped just long enough to whisper into her ear. In this moment he felt alive again, like Emma Swan had just lit up the darkness of his life.
"Oh darling, I'm a gentleman, I intend to show you a grand time but not in the storage room basement and not until I court you properly. You are, after all, still a princess." She groaned, eyes rolling.
"Now you're a gentleman?" She asked irritated as he once again stopped her from removing any of their outer wear.
"You forget love, I'm always a gentleman."
And of course, Elsa picked that exact moment to intrude, her laughter making Killian practically leap away, blushing in embarrassment. He wasn't used to being caught doing ungentlemanly like things. Incompetence sure, but nothing like this.
"Finally getting your investment back from your toy I see Swan?" Elsa snickered. "And he's gotten you to stop brooding? Thank the lord." She said with mock relief.
Emma scowled at her. "What do you want popsicle?"
Elsa grinned sweetly. "Anna's asking if the land she sees is the port of Misthaven, but I can tell her that you two need a little bit more time if you need." She said with a snicker. "Please don't stop on my account, we all know that Emma hear desperately needs to unwind."
Killian could hear a low growl from Swan.
"Come on Killian." She prodded. "Sooner we get back sooner you get to courting me." But he saw the suggestive way she was smiling; he knew that the courting process wasn't what Emma was looking forward to. But good form was good form after all. He laughed following her back on deck.
Once back on deck, he could definitely see the port, the place his life had changed forever.
"That's it Anna. In a matter of minutes we'll be back." He said softly. "You two can catch a ride back to Arendelle, they won't be coming after you now that Swan isn't traveling with you."
He could hear Anna's excited cheer.
"And where will you be going?" Emma asked him. "Are you going to stay here? Back to your job?"
He hesitated. "I want my ship." He admitted. "It was brother's and despite what I feel for him at this moment, it's still my birthright, I can't let the Captain besmirch her honor a second longer."
Emma's eyes darkened in disappointment. "I'm going to take her Swan, and then I'm going to go with you." Her head rose suddenly. "Because if I had to choose between you and this ship, I'd choose you love."
Emma laughed. "Well that's a first."
He narrowed his gaze, "Having to compete with a ship? Love you know I mean it in jest-" The sorceress shook her head.
"I'm…I'm not used to someone putting me first." She admitted sheepishly.
"Get used to it." He replied. He could see a thought spinning in her head.
"So are you going to tell me who I'm meeting? Who wanted me free?" She said simply. She was trying to hide her curiosity, but couldn't. It was downright adorable.
Killian chuckled. "I forgot all about that to be honest. I think you should see for yourself."
Emma groaned. "Come on Killian. Is he a threat? What did he do to convince you anyway?"
A smirk appeared on his face at the memory. At the time he had been terrified, sure that the second they returned, The Captain would put his blade threw his chest, finally tired with his very existence, and this traitorous event. Now, he thought of it, thought of it without that worry, Killian could admit that it was plain amusing.
"He knocked out my captain." Killian replied carefully, scratching behind his ear. "And blamed me, had I not gone on this quest, The Captain would surely make me walk the plank."
Emma rolled her eyes, grabbing at his leather. "Let him try." She growled. It made him smirk at the protectiveness in her tone. "I told you before, stealing from me is a dangerous thing to do." She said shooting him a look. "Besides I think you can handle him."
He was stronger, braver, no longer satisfied with being under The Captain's thumb.
Emma was free, alive, and wanted him by her side.
He could fight his own battles. He was going to stand up for himself and win.
The Arendellian royals took the moment to interrupt, excitement bubbling out of Anna, he found it funny to watch. They'd be the first to depart, Elsa's magic teleporting them to port before the ship.
"Hey Emma, are you sure you don't want to come and help me and Anna? We could use your magic, and imagine the havoc we'd cause?!" She said with an excited laugh. Elsa always did have a morbid sense of humor. Anna gave her a look, but the Ice Queen shrugged, this was who she was now, and Anna would eventually have to learn to deal.
Emma shook her head. "I need to stay under the radar, just for a bit before I go after Snow again. I don't want to get caught." She reasoned.
"Ah, about that." Elsa said, reaching into her pocket. "I want you to have this." She said handing her a ribbon. Emma looked at it skeptically as Elsa tied it to her wrist. "If you ever find yourself in need of help, hold it and think of me and I'll hear you." She nodded in thanks, spotting an identical one on the Ice Queen. "We're sisters after all."
Killian didn't know the importance of those words, but saw them on her face, the way they made her smile. He loved her smile.
"And Emma? Your secret is safe with me. I was never really going to tell. I just wanted my Aunt back." Elsa admitted in a small voice going and hugging the blonde. "But now I have Ann back, I'll release Ingrid after we've taken over Arendelle, hopefully then she'll understand, understand that Anna is my family too"
They could see the shore now. It wouldn't be long now. The two parted and exchanged a few remaining words. He didn't hear them, but he did see the blush on her cheeks just before Elsa and Ingrid vanished in a puff of white smoke.
Teleportation, while effective seemed a bit lonely.
"Got a problem with that sailor?" She quipped. He should start learning not to underestimate her perceptive abilities.
"I…I was always under the impression that traveling shouldn't be instant, it should be enjoyable, an opportunity to embrace the sea or land you cross. Just appearing where you want to go seems a bit-"
"Boring?" She finished as he nodded in agreement. "I only do it when it's absolutely necessary. The farther the distance, the larger the beacon of magic is created. Once we meet your friend, we should get out of here as soon as possible. It won't be long before my mother realizes that Elsa is here, I'd like to keep her in the dark about my escape as long as possible." She explained.
They were both recalling the tower, and neither wanted to return. Kilian knew that if it happened again, it wouldn't be so easy to rescue her. Yet he would. He would do all of this over in a heartbeat.
He didn't respond, keeping occupied with docking the Jewel gently where she belonged. The Captain always seemed to bang her against something or another, bad form if you asked Killian. He also didn't want to spend any more time here than he could help, worried over what would happen when The Captain finds him, sure he was brave now with the Dark One at his side, but that was different from facing the man who had spent the better part of the last decade tormenting him.
He'd make little snippets at the Captain, earning him a blade in his shoulder or a cigar burn on is back. Killian refused to quit his duties, even though the Captain threw his as well as his family's name into the mud. That would earn him a broken rib or a concussion that had him stuck in bed for the better part of a week.
When Milah had seen them she had instantly tried to help him, to help to save him. She had tried to convince him to stop standing his ground, to be the deckhand he was, she didn't want to see him with anymore scars. She didn't understand why he would stay there and just take it, she hated to see him I pain.
Emma on the other hand, didn't need to see to understand, she knew the feeling of being scarred, tormented, becoming too timid to fight anymore. But she knew what her solution would be to the problem, to stand your ground and give as good as you got, to fight. To kill your enemy so they would never hurt you again. Emma was a fighter, one of the things he admired about her, along with the fact that they were kindred spirits.
Killian wasn't sure which option he preferred.
But now he had to choose, had to face his demons, most of all, the Captain. Partly for his ship, but a larger part was because the man had answers, more answers than Victor, he had been to Neverland, he must recall if Killian was stolen from the realm or placed on the ship with a timer on his soul.
Killian didn't think the man would tell easily, but perhaps his hatred for him would make him use the knowledge to make him hurt. The man wasn't smart enough to know that the secret itself was driving him mad.
"Emma, I'll finish up here, I need to speak to the harbor master and then we'll go wherever you wish to go alright love?" She crossed her arms, giving him a narrow look.
"I'll be fine. I'm a right good swordsman now." It made her roll her eyes at the way he let his ego flare, but she went along with it as promised.
Once she was gone, he went to the Captain's quarters and procured a certain item he'd been glancing at on occasion.
A bottle of rum, one of the few that Swan had left untouched, before making his way back to the deck, grabbing himself a seat and poured a glass. He placing the bottle on the table and watched the amber liquid carefully. "Brother? Why the secrets? Why pretend to be someone you aren't? Why did you sell my soul in place of your own?"
No one answered.
"Well, Well, when they said that my ship was back, I would swear they were mistaken." Called a familiar voice, stepping onto the deck, his men behind him with his arms crossed. He suppressed a shiver at the dark look in his eyes. "Well Deckhand? What do you have to say for yourself?"
He didn't respond, he just grabbed the glass and gulped it down in a swig. Not something he ever did. Killian hated the stuff, the lack of control alcohol provided. He hated the way truth spilled off his tongue after so much as a gulp. He ended up settling for goats milk and faked an allergy for the stuff. He recalled watching his brother down a bottle after a storm had hit their vessel, right after leaving Arendelle in fact.
Liam had called the beverage liquid courage; Killian later learned it was liquid stupidity.
He just hoped Liam was right about it all along. He needed all the courage he could get.
"Deckhand's got some of his spunk back." The man growled. "What should I do this time, beat you until you forget your bloody name? Cut out that tongue of yours?" His blade resting in its holster.
Good. Don't reveal your new/old skills until necessary. He said silently to himself, standing facing them.
"You owe me answers Captain. How did you get to Neverland?" The word felt vile in his mouth. He hated that place, hated thinking about it, and hated remembering it. But right now he had to. He had to know the truth.
He saw the flash and felt something hit his shoulder. In a fierce rage the man had grabbed his sword and used the blunt side on him, causing his shoulder to seize in pain as he staggered backwards.
"How dare you, boy! You steal my ship, take it god knows where and demand answers to foolish questions from me? I should cut your throat right now and feed you to the sharks." He sneered, bringing it down on his chest, making him loose his balance.
"Now swab the deck Deckand, or else. I still haven't decided on a punishment to fit despicable swine like you."
Killian didn't get up, he never did, he usually just went along, did as he was told, hoping that the Captain would be merciful. He looked down at his trembling hands, hating himself.
"What the hell Jones!" Cried a familiar voice. He looked up, just as the Captain turned to look at her. "Are you seriously going to let him talk to you like that?" Swan his Swan. It was a challenge if he'd ever heard one. She looked beautiful, changed her clothes to that of traditional attire, a red and yellow peasant dress, blonde curls spilling around her.
She was the picture of beauty, looking nothing like the woman he had found that first day, curled up in a defeated heap. Her eyes still held a controlled darkness, but he could see light there too.
Before Kilian could react, the Captain had made his way over to her, not oblivious to the beautiful woman on the Jewel. "Little lass, this is none of your concern, isn't that right boy?" He sneered, looking at Killian, making him drop his gaze. "Besides, why would a woman like you care for a stupid deckhand." He flinched, shuddering, his hands clenched tightly.
"And you, Captain…" Swan asked, voice rich with contained anger, but faking syrupy sweetness.
"Smee, but Captain is fine, now, how about you and me meet for a little night cap darling." He said, touching her neck with his greasy fingers. It was the spot he had been kissing just hours ago.
He didn't like that. No, Killian didn't like that one bit. He found himself standing, watching, but standing. A rare bout of protectiveness surged through him. Killian Jones did not like him touching his Swan.
"And you, Smee, think you can handle a woman like me?" She dared. Her eyes locked on Killian's. The Captain must have noticed it because a cruel smile flashed across his face. He grabbed her wrist tightly, had she been anyone else it would have surely left a bruise. By this point, Killian was shaking. He could feel it again, the stretching deep down in his soul.
"I don't like sharing my woman's affections with another man lass." He sneered. The man thought Killian was shaking in fear of him, fear that he was about to bed his girl.
Smee was wrong, he was wrong because Killian Jones was not afraid, no not at all. Killian Jones was downright furious.
While Killian knew that Swan could take care of herself, it was that instance of cruelty that made him snap. He could handle being treated like dirt, could handle the pain and humiliation, but the thing he could not handle, the thing that seemed to keep making him snap, was the very thought that Swan was in danger, worse that he was not doing his part to protect her heart. It was something he would not stand for.
"Get your bloody hands off of her." He demanded, pulling his sword, he was no longer shaking, his body was dangerously still. "Or I will. Cut. It. Off."
The Captain released his grip on her, a triumphant smile in her eyes.
He spun around, shocked at his bluntness, but Killian just kept going, letting the fire burn. "You always dared me to take back my ship." He sneered. "Well now I am. I challenge you Smee. Winner gets the Jolly Roger!" His heart was beating out of his chest, he wasn't sure if it was fear or rage. At this point, Killian didn't care.
He was done. He was beyond done with this.
"Fine. I've been tired of you since your brother put you on my ship." His gaze faltered. The man took the opportunity to slash with his sword, a move he easily blocked, aiming his own at the man's side. The Captain blocked it clumsily, surprised by the darkness in his expression.
He aimed another, and another. Each blocked, but The Captain was losing ground and fast.
"What the hell do you mean?!" He demanded.
Killian liked the fear in the man too much right now. He needed to know, he needed to know now before Killian did something he'd regret. "Was I placed in your ship? Did he give me to you?" He growled.
"A peace offering. A Deckhand in exchange for a promise." Smee admitted. "Your brother wanted me to keep you alive until you turned 30." His heart sank.
30. It had to be true then. He didn't bother to ask for why. He knew. It was all true.
He wanted to curl up and cry, sob for the death of the memory. He had already lost his brother, but now he had to deal with the death of his memory, his legacy. He had to face the fact that his brother was a bloody coward.
Smee tried to get past him, taking advantage of the soul crushing hurt, but it didn't work. Killian refocused and twisted the blade, making him throw the blade; he dropped his own to the man's chest.
"You know! Don't you?!" He demanded. "You know about the deal!" He was going to kill him. Oh he wanted to kill him. He saw it that the man knew. He always knew. What did it matter to batter the little sniveling deckhand? He would just die anyway.
Smee was trembling, begging for mercy. How many times had he been that way? Begging for him to stop hitting him? Hurting him? He turned Killian into a coward, afraid of his own shadow, not the man his brother would be proud of. And why did he even care about what his damn brother would think?
His damn brother.
"Do it or not Killian. We don't have all day." Emma responded with a flick of her hair. Smee looked at her. He could see the idea forming in the pudgy man's gaze.
"Please lass, talk some sense into him, don't let him kill me! He's gone mad!" He begged. Killian could see how he was trying to play on her sentiments. Most of the bar maidens would not want their lovers to kill, unfortunately Swan was not a part of that crowd.
She leaned over, baring her teeth in a cruel smile. "If I was him I'd cut you in the same places you hurt him, but I'd make them deeper, oh so deeper." She whispered, bending down tracing one of the scars along his chest on the man, making him shiver in fear. It appeared Smee had witnessed a bit of darkness in his Swan. She straightened up, taking her place at his side, hands draped over his shoulder, playing the part perfectly. Her head rested on his shoulder, he could feel her hair against his throat, it was a wonderful and calming presence. "Well, dear? What'll it be?" She whispered in his ear, a deadly temptress.
He dropped the blade from it's spot but held it steady, keeping his body from shaking. "Get out of here, all of you. Get your things and go. This is my ship now, a pirate ship. I refuse to serve a corrupt crown a moment longer."
They hesitated for a moment and Killian briefly worried if he'd have to fight them all, thankfully Emma was there. "Honey, they aren't leaving, perhaps we should get the Dark One from the brig?" She teased. "She's getting hungry for human hearts, surely these maggots would satisfy our catch?" She added with a glance in their direction.
That sure got them going, especially when he chuckled at her words. The sound of their fleeing was beautiful, exhilarating, the fast clatter of their shoes on the wood. He capped his blade, taking a breath he had been holding. "Thank you Swan." He whispered, turning towards her, pulling her closer to his chest. He just needed to hold her for a moment, to keep from losing his bloody mind.
She nodded. "I knew you could do it, you just needed a reminder."
And he had it, had it in spades. "Besides, I found your little employer." She said with a snicker. "Come on out kid." She called.
A little dark haired boy pranced onto the ship, a devious smile on his face. He was definitely the boy he remembered. The little devil had smooth talked his way on board and then hit the Captain while his back was turned. He convinced Killian that the Captain would never believe nor admit that he had been bested by a mere boy. The boy had tried to trick him at first, hiding the fact that he was on a mission to rescue the Dark One, but Killian was no fool. He had eventually relented and promised that things would right themselves once the Dark One was free, they always repaid their debts.
Apparently the boy wasn't lying.
"Henry." She must have seen his momentarily loss of focus into his memories. She turned to the boy, droning disapprovingly, she must have recalled the tale he had told her. "What did you do?" She lectured with a sigh.
Killian chuckled at the innocent smile he gave the blonde. "Oh, give the lad a break love, let his mother do the scolding." He snickered.
Henry's grin widened. Emma blushed avoiding his gaze. He blinked; realization dawned on him, especially when he saw their identical chins.
"Are you saying-" She pressed a finger to his lips as she nodded.
"But you have to keep that between us, understand? Not a soul, don't even say the words aloud." He nodded.
"Of course." He vowed. "Your secret is safe with me love."
She smiled warmly. A beautiful thing to see, trust was always a reason to smile.
"Um Mom? We should get going soon, Operation Lizard remember? Like seriously we just had this conversation like five minutes ago?" The boy groaned. Emma froze, obviously forgetting her boy was there. She turned to him, ruffling his hair as she looped her arm around his.
"Of course. Coming Killian? I'll fill you in on the way." She said simply, nodding towards town.
"As you wish."
I mean I had to end it with that line. It just fit too well.
Hope you enjoyed the last chapter of Freeing the Witch!
I've never finished a single story I've ever written, so I'm actually really excited by this, even though its been finished since October...
BTW Happy New Year! I hope everyone the best for the new year!
Now I have some announcements, once this story is done, epilogue, not this, I'll be posting a new story of sorts, not the sequel, yet.
(It's at like 45k, but not yet half done plot wise, so its going to be a pretty big monster in itself)
Its what I debated doing a few weeks or so ago. I decided to do it, some buffer between this story and the next. It'll be mostly scenes I had imagined in my head, or scenes that I really wanted to write but neither Emma nor Killian were involved. I hope to be posting them as often as I've updated this story, (more or less once a week) and once I start the sequel, I may post shots that correlate a bit, its all up in the air at the moment.
I may even take requests if I see one that I hadn't thought of, who knows? There may even be some backstory revealed? ;)
But enough about that. Guest reviews!
Kay1: I hope your alive enough to read the update! I'm glad you got chills! As you can see everything worked out...for now.
andria: I'm glad you like the Emma and Elsa as friends again, its what I was aiming for all along, I kind of saw them as how Regina and Emma are in the show, enemies turned allies to friends-ish. I'm glad your looking forward to the sequel, I am too.
Guest: Merry Christmas to you too! And Happy New Year! Yes, two more, here is your taste of happiness, and a bit of a taste of backstory, it'll all be explained...eventually.
I want to thank all the support this story has gotten nearly 60 reviews, 84 follows, it's just amazing. When I started this, I never even expected to post it, let alone make a sequel.
Don't forget to review! I definitely want to hear your opinion about the end of the story, pros, cons, thoughts about the sequel, characters you'd want to see, I'll take it all happily.
~Luna