This is your last chapter for today (it's already past midnight for me).
I forgot to mention - since this is already AU, we're ignoring the existence of Civil War. There was no grand falling out, Steve found Bucky and brought him to the Avengers who all decided to help him get better and accept him as part of the team. Just in case that wasn't clear.
She's pretty sure James is following her.
He's suddenly always passing by the labs and her office, finding excuses to drop in and ask questions or pass on messages from Thor. It's taking it's toll because she never has the chance to prepare herself—he's just there and her body reacts in a cacophony of conflicting emotions.
She forgets how handsome he is until she sees him, and despite his loose clothing it's easy to appreciate how toned he is. Her eyes want to devour him. Other parts want to cuddle him, perhaps tuck him into some blankets and feed him soup. The rational side of her wants to run and hide, knowing no good can come from this. It's always a split second of delight at catching sight of him, followed by the remembrance of why she really shouldn't want to be near him, her stomach never sure whether it should be soaring or plummeting.
He's definitely making an effort to catch up with her when Steve isn't around, turning up in the admin common room during the next two missions expectantly. She was meant to be working in the ops room until her shifts were switched, and she later finds out Steve arranged it with Pepper so James wouldn't be alone.
She teaches him how to make brownies and cinnamon rolls, Bakewell tart and cheesecake. He starts turning up with recipes he's found online, things his mother used to bake, and she doesn't have the heart to turn him away. He wants to learn how to cook properly, and then when he realizes she knows her way around technology, he begs her to bring him to speed.
"I've got holes in my memory where some of this stuff should be. The rest, I just missed out on. I gotta start to fill in the blanks."
He can navigate the web but he's worried he'll be a liability on missions with how advanced Stark tech is. She books him time in with someone else, a proper tutor, until Steve swings by her office and thanks her for spending time with James.
"He needs another friend, not just me," he says, and his expression is so earnest that she cancels the tutor, slotting time into her own calendar instead.
"Do you need tutoring too?" she asks Steve, desperately hoping she can use him as a buffer.
"No, I'm good. SHIELD spent a lot of time working with me, and I have a two year head start. Besides, Bucky was always better with technology. I think it frustrates him that he's so far behind."
Natasha is waiting outside her quarters when Darcy retreats there that night. "I can get them to back off, if you want me too. There are other people Barnes can spend time with."
Darcy thinks about his hopeful expression when she'd agreed to give him computer lessons. "Thanks, but I don't think there's a way to do that without hurting his feelings. And that's the last thing I want to do." Despite his reputation and his ability to loom silently, James mostly reminds her of a lost puppy, one which is always expecting to get kicked.
"I can be subtle."
"I know you can." She flinches under Nat's steady stare. "I'm not trying to be a martyr, okay?"
"You could tell him. He'll back off then."
"Absolutely not. He's in a good place right now, getting better everyday. He doesn't need someone else's drama messing with his head."
Nat concedes and leaves, but not before fixing Darcy with a look she's pretty sure means It's already too late for you.
She meets James the next day for his tutoring session. She hasn't prepared anything in particular, not sure where to start, so she's decided to let him figure out what he wants to learn first. He arrives in her office with a latte in hand.
"I asked around and apparently these are your favorite," he says, holding it out for her. He doesn't have one of his own, which means he went to the on-site Starkbucks just for her.
"Oh! You didn't have to—"
"I wanted to. You don't have to help me."
"Technically, I'm getting paid for this. I'm still on the clock, and you can bet that if I wasn't Steve would ask Pepper to."
"I know. But this is what people do nowadays, right?"
She decides to stop being a curmudgeon and take the coffee from him. "Thank you. Do you want to take a seat?"
He grabs the spare office chair and pulls up beside her, but she barely has a chance to adjust before someone enters the office with an urgent request. Fifteen minutes later, and they've made no progress at all. She keeps getting interrupted, despite the fact that her calendar shows her as unavailable.
"Come on, let's go somewhere else," she says, grabbing the cooling latte and powering the desktop down. "Friday, is the computer lab free?"
"Unfortunately, it is full at the moment," the AI responds.
Darcy thinks for a moment, and comes to a halt in the vestibule at the end of the corridor. They can take the stairs or the elevator, but where to is the question. "My place or yours?" she asks James. "I don't know what you have, but I've got one of everything Tony would let me take. Starkpad, Starkbook, StarkTV…you get the picture."
"Your place," James suggests hesitantly. "I don't think I've got any of that stuff. I'm not even sure what it is."
She calls the elevator and realizes he's got his arms wrapped around himself. She might not be a body language expert, but she recognizes that's not good. "We don't have to, if you don't want. We can go learn how roast a chicken in the kitchen instead, and try for a time when the lab's empty."
"No, it's just…you trust me. Being alone with me? I don't know if—"
"Oh." The elevator arrives and she steps inside. "When was the last time you," she waves her hands while she searches for the right word, "slipped?"
"Three weeks ago. An agent I didn't know got too close to me in the corridor. Steve had to pull me off him."
She presses the button to hold the elevator doors. "So you saw him as a threat, right?" James nods. "Do you see me as a threat?"
He gives her the once over, but when he replies his attitude is cockier than it has been during the entire conversation. "Pretty sure we established not the first time we met."
Darcy huffs, feeling her cheeks color, but not for the reasons he probably thinks. He's reminding her of the words on her hip, of how she'd found them freshly turned quicksilver when she'd showered the morning after he said them. Of how she sees them every time she undresses, and how he has no idea what they mean to her. "Alright then. I don't think we're going to have any problems."
He nods and follows her into the elevator, then trails her (like a puppy) to her quarters. She's glad for the daily cleaning service and for the fact that she didn't leave her bra discarded on the couch when she got home last night and removed it. Instead, the living room is respectably tidy.
She dumps her purse on the coffee table and gestures for James to sit down. He takes a seat gingerly, right on the edge of the cushions like he's ready to bolt at any moment. He probably is. On the other hand, he seems to be taking in every detail of the room. It's pretty basic, a white box furnished by IKEA, but she's done her best to stamp some personality on it, even if that personality is drunk-diving for ideas on Pinterest.
"Where did you want to start?" she asks.
He drags his gaze away from a set of ombre-painted candlesticks to focus on her. "I'm not sure."
"What do you think you'll use most?"
He ponders the question. "Everyone spends a lot of time on their phones. I can make calls, but that's about it."
She grabs her Starkphone. "How about I give you an overview of the different devices and then we can concentrate on how to use touchscreens properly. That's something you'll use on a whole spectrum of things."
One hour later, James knows how to use emojis and what rickrolling is, among other things. Darcy thinks teaching him is going to involve endless questions leading to new questions, but that at least reminds her to tell him about Wikipedia.
"Can I have your number?" he asks. Whether he picks up on her moment of hesitation or not, he tacks on "To practice."
"Sure." She takes his Starkphone and programs in her number, then hands it back to him. Ten seconds later, she's got a message containing a smiley face wearing shades, and a flower.
He's a fast learner.
She saves his number and replies with a thumbs up.
They agree to meet at the same time the next week, and when he's stood on her threshold, he turns to her. Reaches out with his arm and she swears he's going to hug her, but something about her body language makes him stop. He drops the arm, a flash of sadness crossing his face, but she resists the urge to initiate a hug of her own. There are lines she does not want to cross. She waves him goodbye, closes the door, and drops her head against it.
Having him here was a line she shouldn't have crossed.
His presence lingers in the room, especially the citrusy-clean scent of whatever he showers with. That should disappear after the cleaner's been in tomorrow, but it's going to reappear every time he comes here. She needs to find a new location for their lessons. She needs to make it more professional. She needs to put barriers up.
It's easier said than done. The messages start as a trickle, James testing his new skills with one of the few people he can. He even goes so far to rickroll her, and she should have seen that coming. He sends her links from Wikipedia and the source links she taught him to follow, things about his formative years but also things that are new to him which tickle him. Apparently Nat (the troll) has introduced him to the Eurovision Song Contest and he goes on a bender of articles and YouTube videos. He's also discovered the archive of Captain America promos featuring Steve. It's all accompanied by emojis—puppy emojis—and soon the trickle is a torrent. He seems to be texting her whatever's on his mind.
Like a friend.
She replies. Of course she replies, even if it's just a smiley face, but sometimes she'll be genuinely interested and they'll strike up a short conversation.
She doesn't find a better location by the next session, so she tells him to come over to her quarters again. James is far less hesitant this time, relaxing into the sofa cushions after handing her another latte.
"Can we learn how to use the StarkTV today?" he asks, gesturing at her set. "We know how to use ours to watch stuff, but apparently you can access YouTube and other things through it too."
"Sure, it should be fairly simple. You've obviously got the hang of YouTube and Wikipedia on your phone."
"And a normal computer too. I've been using the desktop a lot. I think once we've gone over how to use the TV, we can start covering more technical things? I've seen Steve using a command shell—is that right?"
"That might be a bit of leap, but we can build up to it."
She shows him how to use the internet-ready TV and he's surprised at how simple it is, a matter of pressing the right buttons. Though she starts at the other end of the sofa, he shuffles closer as they talk to get a better view of the remote she wields. They end up with their thighs brushing, and James doesn't move away when the conversation turns to operating systems. He's mostly following it, but something tells Darcy he'd be happier taking the base unit apart and examining the pieces.
"You know, I really don't think you need to be able to do anything that technical," she says gently. "Every team member has their strengths and their particular roles in a mission. You wouldn't be sent out there without someone who's covering the computer stuff, and you're not the only person who doesn't use it much. Hell, Wanda's more likely to fry tech than try to use it."
He doesn't look convinced. "I think I'd feel more connected to everything if I understand what's going on around me. Plus, even the weapons nowadays have all this fancy gadgetry on them."
"So get Stark to build you something simple, something that suits you. If that's what you want to do."
"What do you mean?"
"You know that you don't have to go out on missions at all, right? There is no obligation for you to become an Avenger." She's been included in briefings with Steve present where this has been discussed. Steve has expressed concerns that maybe James feels like he has to give something back after all that they've done for him.
"I know. I want to." His expression is suddenly fierce. "At least until Hydra is wiped off the face of the Earth."
"Fair enough. I can understand that." And she can. She's only knows a limited amount about what was done to him, but it's enough to make her want Hydra wiped off the face of the Earth too, regardless of their other crimes.
"Sam says I'm ready to. I just need to get my therapist to sign off on it."
"But you'll keep going to therapy?"
He snorts. "I'm going to be getting treatment of one kind or another for the rest of my life, that much I know." He checks the time on his phone. "Are you coming to dinner?"
She glances at the time herself and curses. It's way later than their last session ran. "It's okay, I've got a frozen lasagna ready to go. I don't trust cafeteria food." Bad memories of high school food linger.
"I mean to dinner with the team." The team in question being the Avengers. They have their own dining suite and team meals, as schedules permit. She knows it's Steve's doing to maintain bonds within the group. "I've started going and the food's good."
"I'm not a team member," she points out.
"But you're Thor's lightning-sister," he protests. "Other people come too—Jane and Pepper and Helen."
"I'm neither a scientist or a significant other. I wouldn't feel comfortable." She's making excuses and she knows it, but she really would feel uncomfortable without a concrete invitation from someone with authority. He frowns when she says 'significant other', but lets it drop. "Same time next week?"
"Maybe we could stop having formal arrangements, and I come to you when I have a question? I don't mean come and find you right away," he corrects hurriedly, "I know you have a lot of work to do. But I can make a note of anything I want to know and text you. You can reply when you're free, or come see me, or I'll come see you…"
"Sure," she agrees brightly. He's trying to see more of her, and it makes her want to cry. Instead, she's seeing this as a way of extricating herself from this precarious situation. She can let their contact gradually trickle off, and he'll be so busy with the team he won't notice.
Steve's in her office the next morning and he's practically glowing with happiness. "Bucky's come along leaps and bounds," he says, and she knows he thinks it's her doing. The sense of impending doom ratchets up a notch. "I never thought he'd attend the team dinners, or talk to people if he did, but it's like I've got the old Bucky back. I wish he was telling less stories about me, but I guess I can't have everything."
"Sam's birthday's coming up. I can schedule an awesome gift for him," she suggests, trying to subvert the conversation. "Talk to Stark about bonuses for the doctors too…"
"It's not just them. Bucky's real taken with you. I can't thank you for all the time you've spent with him. It means a lot—to both of us."
She mumbles a grudging thank you, but he mistakes her reticence for humility.
"And I can't believe no one's invited you to dinner before," he continues, and she sinks into her chair a little more. Of course James spoke to him about that. "We'd love to have you there. Tonight?"
She wants to make some excuse about working, but she knows Steve will take it up with Pepper. She might even get found out as a liar, and she cannot be caught lying to Captain America.
"I'll be there," she agrees with a forced smile. She's considering taking acting classes and moving to Hollywood at this point, because Steve doesn't notice how fake it is even though he's staring right at her.
"Excellent. There is something else I wanted to talk to you about." His glow has diminished a little, his friendly demeanor turning more serious and professional. Oh, she's speaking to the captain now. "Bucky's going to start coming on missions soon."
"He mentioned it."
"I need someone in ops to cover him. He's seasoned, but he's a special case. If I ask Hill to assign someone to pay him special attention during planning and the missions, she'll question whether he's really ready to go out there, but I thought if I came direct to you…"
"You didn't even have to ask."
He really didn't. She's already started wondering how she could ease James into this first mission, and assigning herself as handler would work. The team are on a big push to go after Rumlow, but no one is sure if he has codewords to trip James' programming which aren't in the file.
"You're on it?"
She holds up her To Do list and shows him the freshly-added item at the bottom. Barnes' first mission - extra support. She'd lain awake last night worrying about it.
The captain melts away as Steve breaths a sigh of relief. "It's appreciated. See you tonight."
After he leaves, she stares down at the list while a wave of dismay washes over her. Seeing less of James is looking less and less likely, and she's only kidding herself if she thinks she's going to take any real steps to put space between them.
She might as well face it. She's already started falling for him.