AN: Nothing to report. Thanks for all the reviews.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls
Chapter 4: Insecurities
"Did dad do it?" Rory asked afraid of the answer.
Lorelai shook her head no.
'At least he didn't do it' Rory thought relieved.
"Do you know who did it?" Rory asked.
Lorelai shook her head no.
"You haven't told Luke have you?" Rory asked.
"No, I don't intend too" Lorelai said.
"Mom you have to tell someone" Rory said.
"I told you" Lorelai said lamely.
"You have to tell someone, like I did" Rory said softly.
'I don't want to but she will make me' Lorelai thought as tears welled up in her eyes.
"Fine I'll get some help just don't tell anyone" Lorelai begged.
"Just tell Luke" Rory said.
"I can't tell Luke" Lorelai said.
"Why?" Rory asked knowing that her mother needed to get over her fear of telling people.
"Look at me, I didn't even fight, I don't have any real bruises, I said no, but what if Luke thinks I cheated on him" Lorelai said sobbing.
"Mom, Luke won't think that" Rory reassured her.
"Do I have to tell him?" Lorelai asked.
"Yes, it will help, believe me" Rory said firmly.
"Alright, I'll tell him" Lorelai said fear rising within her.
Just then Luke and Jess came out.
"You ready to go?" Jess asked.
"Sure, love you mom I'll see you tomorrow" Rory said as they got into their car.
Jess started the car and started to drive Rory back to her dorm.
"Jess can I ask you a question?" Rory asked biting her lip.
"Sure" Jess said.
"When did you want to be with me?" Rory asked.
Jess thought about it, "When I really started talking to you, the Ayn Rand threw me off but it really didn't matter" he said.
"What about after you found out what Max did to me?" Rory asked fear in her voice.
"I still wanted to be with you" Jess reassured her.
"Then why didn't you ask me out right away?" Rory asked.
"Because you were confused and I figured that I would give you some space first, why are you asking me this?" Jess asked.
"I was just thinking about Max" Rory lied.
"Don't think about him" Jess said a hint of anger in his voice.
"Jess, why are you with me?" Rory asked.
This question caused Jess to pull the car over, and look at Rory.
"What do you mean?" Jess asked looking her right in the eye.
"I mean that you could have any girl you wanted, one that would even sleep with you, why do are you with me?" Rory asked looking down at the ground.
"Rory sex means nothing to me, I'm with you for you" Jess said.
"But…" Rory started.
"No buts, I love you and when you're ready we will have sex but not until you're sure, where is this coming from?" Jess asked.
"It's just, I'm at college now and I've even heard Paris and some other girls talk about how good sex is but I'm just afraid that it's going to hurt" Rory said sharing her greatest fear with Jess.
"Rory don't worry about it when you're ready we will, and I'll be gentle I promise" Jess said.
"But still you should be able to have sex with your girlfriend" Rory said.
"Rory we will have sex but I want you to be ready, because if you aren't then it will mean nothing to me" Jess said.
"I guess I'm just feeling a little insecure" Rory admitted.
"Well don't, I love you and I will never leave you" Jess said as he started that car back up.
"Did you notice anything wrong with your mom?" Jess asked.
"Why?" Rory asked faking ignorance.
"Because both Luke and I thought something was up" Jess said.
'I could tell him, I just won't tell the whole truth' Rory thought.
"I talked with my mom and something is up but don't worry she's going to tell Luke" Rory said.
"You sure?" Jess asked.
"I'm sure" Rory said.
Meanwhile Luke and Lorelai were on there way home and Lorelai was trying to muster up the courage to tell Luke what happened.
Lorelai started to think about all the times Luke had made her feel safe and decided that it was now or never.
"Luke could you pull into that parking lot" Lorelai said.
"Sure, you need to talk?" Luke asked happy that she was willing to talk.
"Luke I'm going to start to say something and don't say anything until I'm finished" Lorelai said.
"Sure" Luke said looking right at her.
"Luke when I was walking to the jeep last night something happened, a guy pul-pulled me in-into an alley and-and r-r-r-raped me. I'm s-sorry I didn't f-fight hard-harder" Lorelai said crying and unable looking down, unable to look at Luke.
When Luke didn't speak Lorelai knew what he was thinking. 'He's probably thinking how could I be so stupid and that I'm probably lying and really slept with Chris' she thought.
Luke meanwhile was thinking the exact opposite. 'How could that happen, I should have gone with her, protected her' he thought.
After Luke didn't say anything Lorelai decided that she should probably call a cab since Luke wouldn't want to see her.
Lorelai got out of the car and took out her cell phone. She was surprised when she heard Luke get out of the car too.
"Where are you going?" Luke asked.
"Don't worry I'm just going to call a cab, you don't have to take me home" Lorelai said.
"Why?" Luke asked very confused.
"You don't have to act nice I know you don't want to be near a slut like me" Lorelai said sadly.
"What, you're not a slut" Luke said.
"Yes I am" Lorelai said.
"No, you're not you were raped" Luke said.
"I said no but I didn't fight, I barely even have a bruise" Lorelai said sobbing.
"You said no it's not your fault" Luke said as he walked closer to her.
"You really don't hate me?" Lorelai asked.
"I really don't, why didn't you tell me last night?" Luke asked.
"I was afraid you'd think I slept with Chris and I was lying" Lorelai admitted.
"I don't think that, I love and I believe you" Luke said softly pulling Lorelai into a hug.
"I was so scared he'd kill me" Lorelai said.
"Don't worry about that you're safe now" Luke said in a soothing voice.
"We should get home" Lorelai said.
"Are you sure?" Luke asked.
"Yes, we'll talk about it more tomorrow" Lorelai said.
Luke nodded knowing that she would talk about it when she was ready.
The rest of the drive home was silent expect for the occasional whimper from Lorelai.
'He doesn't hate me' Lorelai kept on repeating to herself even though she was still a little afraid that he would leave her.
'I failed her, I should have protected her' Luke kept on thinking as he saw a broken Lorelai sitting next to him.
"Does anybody else know?" Luke asked breaking the silence.
"Rory knows, I told her while we were waiting, she's coming over tomorrow to talk about it" Lorelai said.
Luke nodded he assumed Rory would probably know something about what happened to Lorelai.
"Did you see a doctor?" Luke asked.
Lorelai shook her head no.
"Then we're going to go tomorrow and get and STD/Pregnancy test done" Luke said.
"I don't think I'll get pregnant" Lorelai said fear in her voice.
"Why?" Luke asked confused.
"Because I took the morning after pill" Lorelai said terrified over how Luke would take that information.
Please Review