Chapter Four

Pony POV

The medication the doctor had put me on wasn't helping. It made me feel strange. It made me not feel. I couldn't cry if I wanted to.

"How's it going, kid?"

"Not bad."

I ashed my cigarette off the porch.

"We're going out to the dunes to watch a race tonight. Wanna come?"

I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Sodapop put you up to this?"

"No."

I stumbled backwards.

"Who are you and what've you done with Steve?"

He scowled.

"Look, you coming or not?"

I shrugged.

"I guess so."

He snorted and walked in the house. I finished my smoke and went to lay down on the couch. I must've dozed off, because Soda scared me half to death.

"Come on, Pony! Rise and shine!"

He jumped on me and started tickling me. I could barely talk between breathes.

"Quit it! Stop! Stop!"

"Cut it out!"

"You're no fun, Dar!"

He climbed off of me and I stood up.

"Where're you guys going?"

"The dunes. Care to join?"

"That's okay. You guys have fun."

I could tell he really wanted to go, but was too tired. Another thing on my plate that I couldn't shake. Darry and Soda work way too hard. For me. I don't even really remember the race. Just that Steve won with a borrowed car, so he was in a decent mood.

"You have fun, Pony?"

I fidgeted a little. I was sandwiched between Soda and Steve in Steve's truck. We were heading home.

"Yeah, I did. I'm just tired."

We pulled into a diner.

"Food's on me! Come on, guys!"

We piled out of the truck and settled for a booth in the back of the diner. There were a lot of people there, mostly from the race. People crowded us for a little while, congratulating Steve. When our food came, the crowd dispersed.

"So, where's Two-bit?"

Soda stopped mid chew.

"He decided to stay a couple weeks instead of a couple days. He should be home either tomorrow or Sunday."

"When'd he tell you that?"

He looked uncomfortable.

"He called asking for you a couple of days ago, but you were at track practice. He called from a pay phone."

I dropped my head.

"She's not doing good, is she..."

Steve spoke up then. Voice softer than usual.

"They don't know, Pone. The treatment is new, they won't know for a few weeks."

The next day, both Darry and Soda had to work.

"I'm gone, Ponyboy."

"Yeah, okay."

I bury my face in the pillow.

"Don't bum around in bed all day, kiddo."

I whine into my pillow. It's muffled, but he still hears me.

"Sodapop, that's what Saturdays are for..."

He chuckles.

"Darry's gotta work late. I'll be home around 4:00."

I give him a thumbs up without looking and hear him leave. When I wake up again, someone's beside me.

"Two-bit?"

He doesn't stir and looks like he hasn't slept in weeks when I look at his face. I carefully get up and leave the room. I take a shower, straighten up the house, and start making lunch. When I'm done, there's a knock at the door. My eyes widen when I see who it is.

"Hi, Mrs. Young. What're you doing here?"

I move to the side to let her in and mentally think that I'm lucky I straightened up the house. Mrs. Young looks around, silently inspecting the house. I can't stand her. She's a stuck up bitch and has been on our asses ever since I've been back from Windrixville.

"Surprise visit. Where're your brothers?"

"At work."

She turns her head fast.

"Both of them? You're here alone?"

I can see the look on her face. I'm not going down without a fight. I've been through too much.

"Mrs. Young, my brothers have given up their lives to take care of me. But, I don't need to tell you that. You already know. Bills have to be paid."

She looks a little taken back. I usually just nod or say yes ma'am to her questions and comments, but she struck a nerve judging my brothers.

"Yes, but..."

"You know kids my age with parents stay home alone sometimes."

She scowls. I've cornered her.

"Given the circumstances and the fact that you've ran away before..."

Two-bit cuts her off.

"You know why he did that. Had nothing to do with his brothers."

She scowls at him. She knows Steve and Two-bit. They're usually here on her scheduled visits.

"Ponyboy, I just want what's best for you."

"And what do you think that is? Being in a boys home? Foster home? All that'd do is make me run."

"I'm starting to wonder if that would be a good idea."

She has this smug look about her.

"Your parents would want..."

I couldn't help it. She brought up a very touchy subject in a bad way. I start yelling at her.

"Don't tell me what my parents would want! They'd want me to stay with my brothers. With family! You keep your damn nose out of our business! Your job is to make sure that we live in a clean house, that I'm not abused, and that my brothers are paying the bills and they are! You're trying to play mind games with me by telling me my parents would want this or that. You didn't even know them! You don't even know me! You've never asked me what I wanted, I'm just a name on a piece of paper that comes from a bad neighborhood to you!"

The minute I finish my rant, not only do I regret yelling at her because I've probably pissed her off, but I realize I'm crying. I back into the wall and slide down it, putting my face in my hands.

"I can't live without them. I can't... I won't... I won't live without Darry and Soda..."

Whether I'm telling her that or myself, I don't know. When I look up, Mrs. Young looks like she's just seen someone get shot. Two-bit kneels beside me putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Breath, Pony. Relax."

Mrs. Young heads for the door.

"I think I have all I need. I'll see you on my next visit in a month, Ponyboy."