The Realization of Loss Chapter One Part Four
It was too quiet.
Xavier sighed softly to himself as he waited in the hallway, his gaze cast to the floor in shame. He knew he was suppose to be in his room resting while Rock took care of organizing the enforcers and breaking the bad news to Rhythm but he was too uneasy. He had to do something to help, anything to get Zero back as soon as possible, anything to get rid of the guilt he felt inside.
"I should have left him here instead of getting some stupid idea about going on a buddy adventure, now he's Goddess knows where. Zero….I'm sorry."
He knew the first thing he had to do was apologize to Rhythm and assure her that he would not rest until Zero was home but Rock had gotten to her apartment first. Through the door he could hear their muffled voices, no crying or yelling yet which could only mean Rock hadn't gotten around to breaking the news. Xavier knew poor Rhythm was going to be hysterical, Zero was her baby, and he silently cursed himself for causing her the pain of losing him, especially this way. It wasn't fair, he had to fix it.
Lost in his own thoughts, he barely heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. Somehow Roll had known he would be there, call it motherly instinct or a woman's intuition.
"Xavier, come back downstairs." She spoke.
He raised his head slightly, not really wanting her to be there.
"Mom…I gotta talk to Rhythm, I gotta tell her I'm going to get him back and that it's all my fault. I gotta let her know."
Roll shook her head.
"That's not the world's best idea, there's a reason Rock didn't want you to be here." She said, moving closer to her son.
"Why? Because this is something for adults to handle?? It's my fault, I should have to tell her." Xavier snapped.
"Stop that, you're old enough to know your aunt can be unreasonable and that we have to be careful with her. Rock and I are the only ones she'll listen to."
Xavier sighed heavily and looked to the floor again.
"Well..I can't just do nothing, mom."
"You're just as stubborn as your father, once you get an idea in your head you have to follow through with it no matter what…" Roll remarked then paused for a moment. "Xavier…sometimes it's better to wait until there's something you can do to help instead of trying to put the whole thing on your shoulders and rushing off to fix it when there's nothing that can be done."
"But it's my fault. If I wouldn't have been so anxious to go see the site, Zero would still be here." Xavier spoke.
"I wish you had thought it out before rushing off on your own and getting Zero involved but it's much too late now." Roll said with a sigh.
"So I've got to take care of things and find him." Xavier continued.
"Dear, there's nothing for you to do right now." Roll replied in a soft voice. "You've got to understand that."
Xavier bit his lip. No! He couldn't just sit back and do nothing, there had to be something he could do right now. Roll placed her small hand on his arm to offer comfort and support.
"But.." He began.
"No son..don't try to argue anymore. I know you want to jump right into things and put everything back to normal again, both of your fathers are like that too and it always ends badly." She said to him.
"I just want Zero back…."
"I know…Rock and your brother need time to figure things out, when they know something I'm sure they'll ask for your help…."
Xavier fell silent, not knowing what else to say. He could go on forever about how it was his fault but his mother was probably right, as much as he wanted to help there wasn't much to be done. At least not yet, as soon as Zor found out where that city had gone, he'd be sure to rescue his best friend and teach Lord Sigma a lesson he wouldn't forget.
"I guess you're right for now." He admitted.
"We can go downstairs and continue this talk, I'll fix you some cocoa and a little something to eat if you'd like." Roll asked.
"Yeah..okay…" He replied.
As both Xavier and Roll went towards the stairs, the sudden sound of a loud and anguished cry came from behind the door. Xavier turned, knowing it was Rhythm and that Rock had just told her that Zero was gone.
"Auntie Rhythm..!" He exclaimed and pulled away from his mother to head back to the apartment.
"No Xavier, let Rock handle it!" Roll called to him and he froze in his tracks.
Xavier took in a deep breath, resisting every urge to rush into the apartment and tell Rhythm it was all his fault and apologize endlessly while swearing to bring Zero back home. His mother probably knew best, Rhythm had never been one to handle things well. He would tell her later, when she wasn't as hysterical. Maybe by then Zor would find something.
He turned around slowly and walked back to the stairway, feeling useless and very uneasy as he followed his mother back to their home. There was nothing he could do..nothing! Xavier's insides twisted at that fact, knowing Zero must be terrified and at the mercy of the Repliroids. He couldn't shake the image of his best friend crying out for him, cries that for the first time in Zero's life would go unanswered. Knowing there was nothing Xavier could do didn't help his thoughts any. Even Roll's sweet cocoa didn't have its usual calming effect on him. At his mother's request, he returned to his room to try to rest afterwards. For some reason Roll must have thought it would do him some good though Xavier felt much to tense and worried to relax enough to sleep.
It's funny how after a tragedy, even normal things can suddenly become painful reminders of what was lost. As Xavier opened the door to his room, he was struck by the realization of how empty and quiet it seemed inside. No video games strewn across the floor, the TV wasn't blaring the latest episode of "Navy Sun" and everything was set neatly in it's place, undisturbed.
If Zero were here...
He refused to let himself finish that thought because he knew it would just lead to more agonizing about the situation. As his mother had said there was no use in tearing himself up even more over this, it was better to save that energy and put it to use for something meaningful when the time came. Xavier's thumb slid over the surface of the reed flute still clutched in his hand, never once had it left his grasp, not since Zero had given it to him as he faded away. It felt almost like it was suppose to be there, he hadn't even given it much thought until now when his fingers ran over the small holes carved in the top. He could almost hear Zero playing it... There were times when the young Proto-bot was completely focused and the most beautiful of medleys came from his lips. Xavier could hear one of those now in the back of his mind no matter how hard he tried to put his thoughts elsewhere.
With a heavy sigh, he walked over to his bed and sat quietly on the edge, looking to the reed flute thoughtfully. So many things just didn't make sense. What had Lord Sigma meant by the world would be his again? Why had they been waiting for Zero? Why would Zero choose to stay with them in the city? Why did Lord Sigma want Zero so badly? There was only one way to get the answers to those questions. Setting the flute on his nightstand, Xavier got up and made his way over to the plain wooden dresser where he kept his clothes and slipped open the top drawer. There, sitting atop a pair of well-worn jeans, was a small framed photograph, a picture of himself with Zero at his birthday party last year. Zero had a playful smirk on his face as he made "rabbit ears" behind Xavier's head. Typical...Zero was always so playful and childish.
"What are they doing with you Zero...?" Xavier wondered aloud. "Are you someplace better or are they holding you against your will?"
The latter was more likely, the former was just wishful thinking on Xavier's part. Maybe Zero had been willing to go at one point but that had all changed when the city began to fade away. His panicked expression was still fresh in Xavier's mind. How was he supposed to just sit and do nothing when all he could think of was his best friend's last moments before he vanished? Zero was almost like his kid brother, his closest friend, it had always been his job to look out for him since no one else wanted to. In truth, Xavier cared deeply about Zero, more than he liked to admit and he knew he had gotten Zero into this mess because of his own irresponsibility. It was his job to find Zero, his duty to bring him home.
"Don't worry Zero..." He spoke to the photo. "I'll find you no matter where they've taken you, I promise. Please keep him safe until then, Elistra."
Xavier picked up the picture, walking back to his bed and setting it on his nightstand beside the reed flute before he laid down. His eyes wandering to look to the empty top bunk. It was just another reminder that Zero wasn't there. He shut his eyes so that he couldn't see it anymore, he was only getting himself worked up for nothing. His brother needed time, there was nothing to do until Zor had some information to act on. The soulful melody of the flute was still in the back of his mind as he tried to put himself at ease long enough to get some rest.
"Xavier!"
"Xavier, oh please!!"
Zero's desperate cries pierced the silence of the darkness. Xavier panted hard as he glanced up from the tall grass, sweat causing his bangs to stick to his face.
"ZERO!"
"Xavier!! Goddess it hurts!! Please Xavier, make them stop!!"
His breath caught in his throat at the panicked plea. The blazing sun beat down cruelly on his weary body as he glanced out over the endless plains, tall blades of green grass waved as a light wind blew over them. Before there had been nothing..nothing but pitch blackness but now -
"ZERO??"
There was no sound, no crickets, no birds. Even the wind was silent as it drifted across the field.
"ZERO!!! Where are you, I'll come to you!!"
"XAVIER!!!"
The name was a frantic scream this time, the voice trembling. Xavier broke into a run, every part of him ached as if he had strained each muscle he possessed. The ground was dry, the blades of grass sticky with their own sap. He kept his eyes focused ahead though nothing changed, there was nothing new in the distance, just more grass, more field.
"PLEASE!! T-they're taking me apart!!! NOOOOO, STOP!!"
"ZERO!!! Hold on!!! I'm coming!!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!!!"
With each step, he felt his own body became heavier, gasping for breath as the field became a blur of green. His legs continued forward but nothing changed, still the same field, the same scenery, he was getting nowhere!
"ZERO!!! Where are you??"
The only reply was a scream of torment, echoing with terrible agony.
"ZERO!!!"
Xavier growled in frustration, almost crying. His knees grew weak and he felt himself falling..falling....Zero's desperate cries ringing in his ears as he descended further into the darkness.
Falling..
Falling....
"ZERO!!!"
Xavier gasped as his eyes flew open, his body was covered in cold sweat and trembling from the dream that was still fresh in his mind. It took him a few moments to realize that he was safe in his bedroom, not lost in some endless field, not falling to Goddess knows where.
"Zero...."
He sat up slowly, trying to shake off the remnants of the dream as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. He couldn't remember ever having a "nightmare" that vivid before, he could still hear the way Zero had screamed and called for him. His eyes fell upon the empty bunk once more and he felt himself involuntarily wince.
Zero.......was it real? Was that really you crying out for me or just my conscience tormenting me? Mom told me sometimes dreams are visions...
The bedroom door opened with a soft squeak, drawing his attention away from his thoughts.
"Xavier? I heard you cry out, is everything okay?" Roll asked with motherly concern as she stood in the doorway.
Xavier shook his head, his purple bangs falling in his face as he did so.
"I need to see Zor, I gotta find out if he's made any progress." He spoke with a heavy sigh.
"It's still too soon, you only laid down two hours ago...." Roll replied as she frowned.
Xavier shook his head once more and reached to brush his hair out of his violet eyes.
"Mom..I have to, I can't relax, I have to do something."
Roll sighed heavily, wiping a hand absentmindedly on the white apron she was wearing. Sometimes she swore the stubborn and determined nature that both her husbands and her youngest son displayed was a curse doomed to get them all killed or at the very least, so burdened with worry that they'd fall ill from it. Why was it that they couldn't see the reasoning in waiting, planning and trying to relax when there was nothing that could be done?
"He's still in his lab." Roll said. "But he probably doesn't want to be disturbed, if he had made any breakthroughs, Rock would have let me know."
Xavier got up from his bed slowly, his gaze falling upon the reed flute and the picture on the nightstand as he did.
I've got to find him...if that was a vision, he's in pain right now. I can't let him suffer for my mistake...!
"I'm gonna go check just in case. You never know, maybe he needs to question me, maybe I have the last piece of information he needs." Xavier told his mother, trying to hide his growing fear for Zero's safety.
Roll sighed again, lowering her head and showing obvious objection to the idea.
"There's nothing you can do right now, I wish you'd realize that and save your strength for when there IS some way that you can help." She said in a slightly upset tone of voice.
"I just have to check, it's not like I'm gonna go back to the site..." Xavier replied.
"Alright, go check but when he tells you all you can do now is wait, I expect you to come back here and try to calm down. I'm worried and very scared for Zero too and I hope your brother finds something soon...until then, all we can do is pray and comfort each other."
"I know mom...." Xavier said regretfully, taking one last look at the flute before turning away and walking towards the door.
The lab was in a state that Xavier had never seen it before. Techs were rushing about like headless chickens, hurriedly carrying samples and paperwork back and forth between the various rooms to be tested, retested, read over or stored. The closer he got to Zor's private lab, the more hectic it got and he found himself excusing himself for being in the way so many times that the words might as well have been pasted on his forehead.
Everyone's so busy..must be a good sign, maybe they found something!
As he entered the private lab, he nearly ran into two techs that were on their way out. They were in such a rush that he didn't get a chance to apologize. Zor was hunched over his work, his table cluttered with the results of various experiments and tests. Endless computer printouts were strewn around his desk, most had fallen to the floor after being knocked over by a careless tech or two. The expression on the young scientist's face could only be described as irritated. Xavier took his time approaching after noticing the sour mood his brother seemed to be in.
"Yes? What do you ha- oh Xavier. I wasn't expecting you here." Zor spoke to his younger sibling, looking up as the sound of nearing footsteps broke his train of thought. "Did you have something for me?"
"No..I just thought I'd check on you." Xavier replied. "Any clues yet?"
The red haired robot turned his attention back to the task in front of him.
"No, nothing meaningful. I've found out a lot about the energy signature and the soil types but nothing that would help find Zero."
"Dr. Zor, I have another read-out for you. Sectors 699-706 are showing no trace of the Energen readings found at the ancient city or of Zero's signature." A young tech said as she interrupted, peering out from behind Xavier and trying to hand Zor another larger computer printout.
"Set it on my desk." Zor replied and blindly motioned behind him, eyes still focused on the experiment he was working on.
The tech glanced over, sighting the mess of paperwork on the small desk and immediately got a frazzled look on her face.
"Of course Doctor..." She spoke with a nod and excused herself.
"She'll be lucky if she doesn't tip over the whole stack...." Xavier mumbled quietly, watching as she walked away, seeming a bit hesitant to go to the desk and leave the papers there.
"If those sectors are clear, then that city isn't anywhere on Hakari Island...DAMMIT!" Zor swore loudly.
Xavier jumped and took a step back. Zor was the quiet one of the family but he did have a bit of Rock's temper in him and right now, the frustration he must be feeling was probably enough to cause him to blow a gasket. Zor put his hand to his forehead, letting out a frustrated breath and tugging slightly on his flame colored bangs.
"I'll need to run scans on Tokio and Kattelox Island now..." He shut his eyes as he spoke. "That could take days..."
"Brother..?"
"I've got a lot of work to do Xavier, I really don't have time to discuss my findings or the lack of them with you right now. If I find something or need you for anything, I'll have Lara tell mom or dad and they'll tell you."
"Alright...sure...but-"
"Sorry, I don't have time to elaborate. Xavier, tell mom I'll need a few energy drinks brought up here - no dinner tonight." Zor said as he set his work aside and quickly headed off towards the hallway.
"Sure Zor. I guess I'll see you later when you find something then?" Xavier asked but Zor didn't answer, he only gave a wave behind him as he rushed out of the room.
Xavier just stood by himself for a moment, feeling completely bewildered and at a sudden loss. The way he had figured it, he'd go to the lab, get the news that Zor had found something and help him figure it out, not be left behind by his brother without a second thought. The chaos in the lab continued on as if he wasn't even there. No one paused to notice him except to excuse themselves for being in his way or vice versa.
"Maybe mom was right, maybe there really is nothing I can do...." Xavier muttered disappointedly to himself. "No one seems to need me here right now...."
He glanced about after he had spoken, hoping perhaps that he could spot a situation that would prove his words wrong but there was nothing. No one was calling for his aid, Zor hadn't suddenly changed his mind and rushed back to ask him to offer his assistance. He was only getting in the way. He was useless.
Lowering his head in disappointment, he realized that his mother had been right, all he could do was wait and hope that an answer would show itself soon..until then, Goddess only knew where Zero was and what Lord Sigma was planning to do with him. All Xavier could really do to help was pray for his friend's safety and it was that thought that occupied his mind as he made his way back home..
RockMan, Roll, Zero and others are copyrights of Capcom of Japan, Dear God X6 sucks.
Xavier, Zor and others are exclusive copyrights of Roll-Chan Productions..ALL YOUR XAVIER ARE BELONG TO US!
No one pays me to write this bad, I do it all by myself =)
Please send all comments to zero_repliroid_hunter@yahoo.com
Zero: GAH! You've started saying that all your base crap too??
Of course Zero, hasn't everyone =P
Zero: ................
Xavier: That chapter sure as Hell took you long enough.
Me: Oh shut up, I was working on DoaR and my Co-Writer got busy.
Xavier: Suuuuuurreeeee. Just don't do it again!! *hits the author with a giant hammer*
Me: x-x;; Okay
Xavier: The fans have spoken!
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