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Anakin climbed the tall tree with skill provided by years of training. Once on the top, he back-flipped to the next one, then leaped to the floor. He scanned the horizon and saw the sun rising over the mountains. It was time to go back into the house and his morning exercises had done nothing to clear his mind.

The images of his mother being tortured by strangers haunted him so intensely he couldn't ignore it anymore. Obi Wan had said that dreams passed in time, but they didn't. His were coming more and more often and they only got worse. He had to do something about it, but he couldn't disobey his orders.

He had promised his mother that he would go back to free her, and whenever he brought up the subject to the Jedi they would ask him to be patient, albeit a bit dismissively. It didn't sound like they cared too much about his situation. A Jedi's birth family had never been an issue; Padawans started so young they never got to really meet their parents. Anakin's exceptional case hadn't made them reconsider their approach.

He slowly had to come to terms with the idea that if he ever wanted to rescue his mother he would have to do it in his own terms. He would have to go against the Jedi Order and he wasn't sure he was ready to do that. He already felt conflicted enough about the treatment he'd received from them and his own emotions regarding his mother. And now Padmé. Going against the Order would be the final straw.

But the nightmares were getting worse. He trusted his instincts; they had gotten him out of trouble before and they were usually right. He knew something was wrong with his mother and he had to do something about it before it was too late.

Padmé splashed water on her face and spread it around her features. She stood straight and tapped herself dry with a towel, her eyes on the mirror. The situation with Anakin was starting to get frustrating. She had no reason to hide her feelings or not act on them other than Anakin not being allowed to do the same. It seemed so ridiculous.

Then again, she was the one lusting after a twenty year-old Padawan.

Padmé couldn't help but laugh at herself. What were her hormones reducing her to? She was still very young, but she was certainly capable of controlling her impulses. Besides, it seemed Anakin's feelings for her ran a little deeper than just physical attraction. She knew he had thought about her for ten years and that being around her again was affecting him. He wasn't capable of being detached and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him.

Still, she refused to eat breakfast alone so she sought out to find him.

He was standing outside, his back to the house. She could make out his lean form through his shirt, the sun shining on his blond hair. In spite of the hour he looked anything but relaxed.

"What's wrong?" she asked, startling him. She was surprised. It was impossible to surprise a Jedi. "Anakin?"

"I… I had another nightmare", he said, moving closer to the rail and leaning on it. Padmé stood by his side and reached out to touch his arm, encouraging him to continue. "It was about my mother."

"What happened to her?", she asked. Anakin closed his eyes briefly, his jaw clenching.

"You don't wanna know", was his cryptic answer. Padmé let go of his arm and stood silently by his side.

"Is there anything I can do?", she offered, though in all honesty she didn't have a clue of how she could help.

"No. But thanks", he said. "I'd give anything to be with her right now. Just to know that she's okay, that's all I need", he admitted.

Padmé pondered on this for a moment, a plan forming in her mind.

"I have a ship."

Anakin turned to her, almost wanting to laugh.

"Are you insane? If the Jedi found out – "

"The Jedi ordered you to protect me. I'm going to Tatooine", she announced, almost sounding too serious. Anakin smiled.

Padmé set the hyperspace controls and strapped herself up. She nodded at Anakin and he did the same. After the push that propelled them into hyperspace they exchanged amused looks.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm just not used to going against orders", he replied. Padmé unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to him.

"So, what's your plan?"

"I don't know yet. I'll know when we're closer."

"Maybe she's still… working at the same place." She didn't want to say 'she was still a slave'. She didn't want to remind Anakin of what a horrible life his mother was living, what a horrible life he had lived as a child.

"She's not at Watto's", he whispered. "I just know it."

Padmé looked at her hands on her lap, not sure of what to say or do next.

"Listen, Padmé, about last night…" Anakin began, fumbling with the long sleeves of his cloak. Padmé looked up but he wasn't making eye contact with her. "I'm not supposed to…"

"I know, Anakin", she said, sounding more irritated than she had intended.

"No, wait, I… I just wanna make sure that you know it's… It's because I'm not supposed to", he tried to explain. Padmé considered his words for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly he was trying to say.

Oh.

It's not that he didn't want her, it's that he wasn't allowed to want her. She was suddenly endeared by his shyness.

"I understand", she said. Anakin finally met her eyes. "I thought you were giving me an open, that's all."

"An 'open'?" he asked, puzzled. Padmé smiled.

"Body language goes a long way, Anakin", she said.

Anakin nodded and ducked his head, afraid that she would see him blushing. His lack of experience with women left him completely defenseless when it came to dealing with them in a more intimate way, and if he was going to resist Padmé he would have to lift more walls.

"Why don't you go to your bunk? You need some rest", Padmé suggested, hoping he would understand that she was giving him an out.

"You're probably right", he said, standing to his feet.

"I'll wake you when we reach Tatooine", she assured.

"Thank you. I'll see you later."

When he left the cockpit, Padmé reached for her comm link to get in touch with Dormé. Her loyal handmaiden's hologram appeared in front of her.

"Milady", she greeted with a nod.

"How are you, Dormé?" Padmé asked kindly.

"Not much has changed since this morning. Is everything all right?"

"Yes. I think so", Padmé said, not exactly sure why she had reached Dormé in the first place. The handmaiden seemed to sense that the senator needed a friend.

"Are you all right?" she asked in a softer voice. Padmé smiled knowingly.

"Yes, it's just…" she struggled to find the right words.

"Is jailbait giving you trouble?" Dormé teased. Padmé couldn't help but giggle. She needed a lighthearted moment.

"Turns out jailbait looks amazing with his shirt off", she quipped. Dormé gasped, her eyes widening.

"Sounds like you've been busy…"

Padmé rolled her eyes and sighed, frustrated.

"I wish… He's still a nice person to have around", she admitted.

"Yes, you look more relaxed. Where is he now, anyway?" she asked. Padmé's eyes shifted for a moment.

"Dormé, I have to tell you something. But you have to promise me you won't tell Captain Typho."

Tatooine was as unpleasant as she remembered it. It was still outside the Galactic Republic and it only took a quick look around for Padmé to realize that slavery was still very much a reality on the desert planet. She had no idea where they were going, but Anakin walked determinedly to an unknown destination. She simply followed him and made no questions. Ever since they had landed the ship he hadn't said two words to her, his mind obviously occupied with his mother.

Suddenly he came to an abrupt stop. Padmé looked up at him expectantly. They were moving away from the city and only the open desert waited ahead of them.

"Her presence is stronger out here", Anakin said with conviction. He looked down at Padmé. "We should go back to the ship."

"Are you sure you don't wanna stop at the shop first?" she asked carefully.

"I don't need to", he spat. Padmé was taken aback by his tone. He had never been that way with her before. Even when he was in his protector mode, he was still respectful and polite.

"Fine", she said in a small voice, feeling like the younger one for the first time. She didn't particularly like this side of Anakin and she hoped that it was only stress. And probably anger at the Jedi for putting him in this position of going against orders so he could help his mother.

They went back to the ship and flew across the desert until they reached a moisture farm. Its owners – a man in a hovering chair, a young man and a young woman – stepped out to look at the ship, obviously not used to receiving visitors. Anakin and Padmé descended the platform to greet them, the Padawan's face masked with tension.

"I'm looking for Shmi Skywalker", he immediately said.

"I'm Cliegg Lars. Shmi was my wife", the old man informed, stretching out his hand to shake Anakin's, but the Jedi ignored it.

"Was? Where is she?" Anakin pressed, getting anxious. Cliegg looked down sadly. "Tell me!"

"Anakin…" Padmé said, putting her hand on his arm.

"I'm Owen. My father and I looked for your mother for a long time", the young man said, placing a comforting hand on his father's shoulder.

"What happened to her?" Anakin asked, starting to get impatient.

"A group of Tusken Raiders took her", Cliegg said.

Anakin immediately made his way to a speeder bike parked outside the house.

"Anakin, wait!" Padmé cried.

"Stay here", he said dryly before riding into the desert. Padmé watched him go until he disappeared in the horizon. It almost seemed as if he had vanished; one minute they were speaking to the Lars family and the next he was gone. She didn't know what to do so she just stood there for long seconds until the young woman approached her.

"I'm Beru, Owen's girlfriend", she introduced herself with a tentative smile. Padmé blinked a couple of times and turned to her, shaking her hand.

"I'm Padmé. I'm sorry we just came here unannounced", she apologized. Cliegg moved closer to her.

"It's quite alright. Why don't you come in? We'll tell you everything over lunch."

Padmé was more than happy to accept the invitation.

Once inside, Cliegg told her more details about what had truly happened to Shmi. Padmé was unable to hide her horror, especially after learning more about the violent nature of Tusken Raiders. There had been search parties to try to find Anakin's mother but few men had come back from the desert, Cliegg being permanently crippled in the process. She didn't know if Anakin would find his mother or even what was left of her.

As night fell, Padmé allowed anger to replace her sadness. Anakin could've been there on time. If only the Jedi hadn't been so obtuse and let him come back to Tatooine to see his mother then this wouldn't have happened. He hadn't seen her or heard from her in ten years, all because of the Jedi. Resting her head on her pillow and looking out the window at the starry night, she just wished he came back.

And that he came back as the Anakin she knew.

She couldn't believe her ears.

Anakin, a murderer. A vicious, heartless murderer who took the lives of anyone who stood in his way without even sparing the children. He didn't sound proud of himself, though, like a serial killer taking trophies. No, Anakin was full of rage. At himself, at the Jedi, at the Tusken Raiders, at what had happened to his mother. He could barely support his own weight when he slid to the floor and leaned against the counter.

Padmé clutched the back of his neck and was relieved when he didn't flinch or shrug her away. She stroked his hair gently, searching his eyes. He was in so much pain right now, so tormented, and all she wanted was to make him feel better.

"Anakin…" she whispered, her face moving closer to his. "To be angry is to be human."

"I'm a Jedi; I'm better than this", he argued, an edge to his voice. Padmé cupped his face.

"You're still human, Anakin" she insisted, his eyes finally on hers. "You're still human", she whispered over his lips. "They try to keep you from feeling, but you can't… They shouldn't do that, they can't ask you not to –"

She was cut off by his mouth closing violently over hers, almost sucking the breath out of her. His arms pulled her closer to him, wanting to lose himself in her, to forget everything that had happened, everything he had done. His kiss was as emotional as it was clumsy, his desire leaning more towards oblivion than lust.

Padmé succumbed to the pressure of his lips on hers and allowed him to taste her at first, but knew he didn't really want her. He was looking for something else. He wanted redemption. He wanted to erase what had happened, what he had done. When he moved a hand up to cup her breast she grabbed it firmly in hers and watches as he pulled back to give her a questioning look. Padmé shook her head softly and pulled his face to her shoulder, feeling her skin growing wet with his tears.

"It's okay," she soothed, her hand rubbing his back. "It's going to be okay."

"I'm so sorry…" he sobbed. Padmé knew he was speaking about his crimes and part of her was relieved that their kiss didn't go any further.

She coaxed him to lie down on the floor, his head on her lap. She was awoken several times during the night by Anakin's quiet sobbing. He was trying to be discreet, but he couldn't hide the trembling from taking over his body. In his dreams he saw hints of darkness, but whenever the dark was about to envelope him Padmé would gently bring him back into wakefulness, her face shining above him.

It was a restless night for both of them, so when the first light of the suns came in through the window they didn't linger on the floor. They came into the dining room to find breakfast waiting for them, Beru and Owen already eating.

"Hi," Owen greeted. He didn't dare saying anything else after seeing the look on Anakin's face. The young man was destroyed and looked like he had aged a decade in one night. He gave a nod as he took a seat across from his stepbrother.

"Good morning", Padmé said, taking a seat next to Anakin.

"Would you like some milk?" Beru offered. Padmé nodded and turned to Anakin.

"Ani?" she asked. Anakin shook his head 'no'. Owen and Beru exchanged looks with Padmé. "Where's Mr. Lars?" she asked.

"He's not feeling very well," Owen said sadly. Beru held Owen's hand and kissed his temple.

"I'm so sorry," Padmé whispered. Owen nodded and stood.

"I better see to my father. Help yourselves", he said before leaving. Beru followed him with her eyes, then got on her feet, too.

"I should go with him. Let me know if you need anything."

"Don't worry about us," Padmé assured. Beru smiled briefly and followed her boyfriend. Padmé turned to Anakin. He was staring at his empty plate. "You should eat something, Ani."

"Don't ever call me Ani again," he muttered. Padmé was taken aback by his tone and simply nodded.

Shmi's funeral was brief yet heartbreaking. While Clieg eulogized his beloved wife, Anakin closed his eyes and barely managed to keep his tears in check. His hand mindlessly reached out for Padmé's and she gave it a soft squeeze, wishing she could do more for him.

She fought the urge to cry when she saw Anakin fall to his knees in front of his mother's grave, as if he was so miserable he couldn't even stand on his own feet. She placed her hands on his shoulders and waited, not saying a word. There was nothing she could say at a time like this.

They exchanged good-byes with the Lars family soon after. Anakin didn't want to step foot on Tatooine ever again. The dry planet carried his saddest memories. Slavery, time away from his mother, her death, and the bloody vengeance he had taken to appease his pain. No, he definitely didn't want to spend another minute there.

Once inside the ship, he made his way to the cockpit but Padmé stopped him with a hand to his chest.

"Why don't you go lie down? I'll take us back to Naboo. Catch up on your sleep", she offered. It sounded very tempting to him, but he didn't think he deserved to indulge in such a thing.

"I'm fine," he assured.

"No, you're not. Go to my cabin; it's more spacious." She gave him a final push and walked into the cockpit, closing the door behind her. Anakin smiled briefly and went into her cabin, just as she'd suggested. On any other day he would've kindly refused, but the truth was that he was so exhausted the last place he wanted to see was his uncomfortable bunk. When he saw the spacious bed waiting for him he almost collapsed on it.

A deep sleep called him and it wasn't long before more nightmares haunted him. Fire and dark smoke invaded his subconscious, the flames licking at his skin. Dark smoke, a river of fire, dueling lightsaber blades, and pain. So much pain. His own screams woke him and he found himself drenched in sweat, his skin almost burning. Padmé rushed into the room, a concerned look on her face.

"Anakin, are you all right?" she asked, sitting by his side. Anakin blinked, confused. He was still catching his breath when he nodded.

"I'm… I'm fine", he panted.

"No, you're not fine. I heard your screams from the cockpit", she reached out and wiped his face with her hand. He remained silent. "Do you have nightmares every night?"

Anakin glanced at her and nodded, suddenly embarrassed. He felt so weak and vulnerable. He was supposed to be a strong Jedi, always in control of his emotions, yet here he was once again, having another nightmare in front of the person he was assigned to protect.

"Do the Jedi know about this?", she pressed. When he nodded again, she asked, "What have they done to help you?"

"Master Kenobi says I shouldn't pay much attention to dreams… Master Yoda thinks I have nightmares because he senses fear in me", he explained, not sounding too pleased with what he was saying. Padmé wasn't pleased, either.

"It doesn't sound like they're being a lot of help", she almost spat. Anakin scoffed softly. That sounded about right. Padmé noticed he was still sweating, obviously still upset by his nightmare and now by the Jedi. "Lie down", she said, putting a hand on his chest and urging him to do just that. Padmé removed her white poncho from around her shoulders and pressed it to Anakin's forehead, then his neck.

Anakin lay in complete silence, his heart thudding in his chest as he became very aware of the fact that he was lying shirtless on Padmé's bed while she touched him. A thousand most un-Jedi thoughts invaded his mind and he tried to think of something – anything – that would take him away from the scenarios in his fertile brain, but nothing worked.

"You've mentioned fear a lot", Padmé observed suddenly, effectively distracting him of his thoughts. "What are you so afraid of, Anakin?" she asked softly.

"Of losing the ones I love. First my mother… and now…" he trailed off, not wanting to reveal too much. But it was too late. Padmé already knew what he was implying.

"You're not going to lose me, Anakin", she whispered, her hand cupping his cheek. She rubbed his cheekbone with her thumb until he met her eyes. He took a deep breath.

"I don't have you."

As soon as the words left his mouth, her lips were moving over his.

And this time, Anakin didn't fight her.