Padmé moved around the small but well-stocked kitchenette, preparing something to eat. Anakin had gone almost two days without eating anything and she knew that he'd be starving when he woke up. He was exhausted after…
Padmé rubbed her eyes and groaned.
He said he loved her. It was in the heat of the moment, but she was sure he meant it. All of the signals had been there for her to pick up. His troubling feelings regarding her, the way she caught him looking at her. She was aware that his feelings for her ran deep, but not to this extent.
And what had she done?
She had practically pounced on him when he was at his most vulnerable. He was just waking up from a nightmare. After his mother had died, no less. He had often spoken about how torn he felt about the Jedi Order and how he struggled to please them, how he felt it was for naught because they held him back. How much he resented them for keeping him away from his mother all these years.
And now she was dead. And he had broken another rule.
He'd fallen in love with her. She'd hardly forced him to do anything, but she had done nothing to stop it from happening. She had basically given him the okay to confess how he felt. It wasn't that she didn't care for him. She did, but nowhere near as much as he seemed to care for her.
He didn't just care for her, he loved her.
She barely knew him. And he barely knew her; he couldn't possibly love her. He was obviously confused by his childhood affection. He didn't know anything about her. They enjoyed spending time together and they were very attracted to each other, but that was it. They were good friends and a little more, but they weren't in love.
No matter how long she tried to rationalize it she knew she was fighting a losing battle. He loved her, and that was that. Nothing she said would make him change his mind because he wasn't thinking; he was just feeling.
In the past she didn't know exactly what would happen if she ever slept with him, but love was never a possibility. They were two attractive people who got along very well; it could just end at that. It happened all the time, why couldn't it be that way for them, too?
She remembered her previous relationship with one of Bail's advisors, how she was sure that he was the one, only to have him break her heart after sleeping with her a few times. She didn't want to put Anakin through that. He deserved better, especially now. Maybe he wouldn't remember what he had said, or maybe he wouldn't bring it up. Both alternatives appealed to her, even though she would always know the truth.
"What's all this?" a sleepy voice asked. Padmé turned to find Anakin in his sleep pants and his cloak, his eyes ogling the food.
"I thought you might be hungry," she said softly. Anakin smiled widely and she couldn't help but laugh. "Don't get your hopes up; I'm not that good of a cook."
He stepped closer to her and her heart skipped a beat. Her eyes closed when his lips came down to hers. "I'm sure it's delicious. Or at least edible."
Padmé laughed and he gave her another kiss, wrapping his arms around her. His cloak surrounded her, his scent plaguing her senses. She was about to forget all about her previous reasoning and ravish him right then and there but she knew he deserved better. He was a good person and she liked him. She tried to focus on something other than his amazing kiss.
"I thought you were hungry," she teased. When he smiled, she put her hand on his chest to push herself away. "Let's eat."
He helped her put the food on the table and they sat facing each other, eating in silence for a moment.
"How long until we reach Naboo?" he asked.
"Another five hours," she informed, tasting the salad she had fixed. "I'll make sure to ask Teckla and Nandi to have a real meal waiting for you."
Anakin chuckled and held her hand over the table. "It's not bad," he assured. "I should probably get used to your cooking anyway," he added.
Padmé felt her mouth drying up. What exactly did he mean by that? She decided not to acknowledge his comment and continued eating, pulling her hand back.
Anakin noticed something was different. She was sitting tensely, not making eye contact with him. Surely she wasn't embarrassed about what happened between them? Then again, the more he learned about women the less he understood them, so he wrote off her changing emotions to normal female behavior. But he made sure not to say anything. She would've smacked him for coming to such a sexist conclusion. The corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile.
Padmé glanced at him.
"What are you smiling about?" she asked, intrigued.
"I'm not smiling," he replied, his smile widening.
"I'm obviously blind," she said dryly, making him laugh now. It was contagious.
"You were making your senator face," he explained. Padmé's curiosity grew and she sat up straight, her brow arching.
"And what exactly would that look like, Anakin?" she asked. Anakin made a stern face and she laughed. "I don't look like that!" she protested.
"No, wait, it's more like this," he said, his expression turning smug, aloof. "Why no, Chancellor, I do not have time to attend your reelection party," he said with a slight accent. Padmé laughed. It was a disastrous impression.
"Was that supposed to be me or Obi Wan?" she asked playfully. Anakin laughed and shrugged, forgetting about what they were talking about and going back to his meal.
She watched him in silence, a smile lingering on her face. She couldn't remember another man making her laugh as much as Anakin, or as willing to make fun of her and laugh with her. Everybody else treated her like a politician, with respect, but always keeping some distance. Not Anakin. To him she was still that girl who was nice to him. Not a queen, not a title, not a politician. Just a girl.
Her thoughts were interrupted when Artoo wheeled into the kitchenette, his dome spinning as he whistled.
"A message?" Anakin asked. "Play it, Artoo," he said, still chewing his food. Both him and Padmé watched quietly as Obi Wan's hologram asked Anakin to retransmit a message and was then attacked by someone, cutting the transmission short. He and Padmé exchanged looks, both at a loss of words.
"Artoo, please get me the council," he finally said. The droid complied and as he made the connection Anakin looked down at himself. He closed his cloak to hide his exposed chest and watched Padmé stand away from the camera's reach, the 'senator look' he had just mocked now taking over her face.
"Yes, Anakin," Mace Windu greeted, stern as ever.
"Master Windu, I got a message from Obi Wan. I'll retransmit it to you in a second, but you should know that he was attacked in Geonosis. I believe he's still there," he explained.
"Geonosis? Are you sure, Padawan?" the Jedi Master questioned, his tone skeptical.
"Yes, Master. Should I help him?" he offered.
"No. Your assignment was to stay with Senator Amidala and that's exactly what you're going to do," Windu said firmly.
"But Master, Obi Wan is –"
"I don't want to hear it, Skywalker. You will do as this council ordered you and that's the end of that. And don't you ever question my authority again," he added. Anakin swallowed his pride. He couldn't believe Padmé had witnessed such a humiliating moment.
"I won't, Master Windu."
"Let's hope so."
The call ended abruptly and Anakin exhaled heavily. He noticed Padmé was giving him a sympathetic look and he shrugged.
"What can I say? He loves me," he joked.
"Anakin…" she said softly.
"It's fine. He's never particularly liked me," he explained, getting more comfortable in his chair. Padmé sat across from him.
"Why not?"
"He opposed to my training from the beginning. He thought I was too old, too scared, too… I don't know," he trailed off, going back to his meal.
"How is it that so many Jedi Masters were terrified of a nine year-old boy?" she pressed with a smile. Anakin laughed softly but quickly became serious.
"Remember that thing in my blood, the one that makes me more sensitive to the Force?" he started. When Padmé nodded, he continued. "Well, that thing is called midi-chlorians. Midi-chlorians are in all living organisms. I have them, you have them; we all have them in different quantities. What the Jedi do is a blood test to see how high your count is. The higher the count, the better the grasp of the Force you will have," he explained, trying to make it sound as simple as possible.
"I see. That's why Qui Gon…" she said, not wanting to finish the sentence that would remind him of the bet that separated him from his mother. Anakin nodded and sipped his water. "So why was the council so against your training?" she asked.
"Master Yoda sensed a great deal of fear in me. He was very uncertain about my future, so he wasn't feeling that great about someone with my count being trained," he said.
"How high is it?" she asked, intrigued. Anakin shrugged.
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes, it does," she insisted with a smile. "Come on, Anakin, I'm giving you a chance to brag here." Anakin chuckled and met her eyes.
"It's high enough for the Jedi council to be wary of a nine year-old," was all the information he was willing to supply.
Padmé half-smiled and moved her food around her plate, suddenly not very hungry. The truth was she pitied Anakin. The Jedi were supposed to support him, not be suspicious of him. By continuing to deny him of their trust and his own humanity all they did was make him more resentful of them, even if he tried to hide it. Padmé could see beyond his façade. She knew he cared. He saw the hurt and disappointment in his eyes when Master Windu put him in his place.
"You know, we're still closer to Geonosis than the Jedi are," she cut in. Anakin gave her a wary look. "Anakin, we can't leave him there waiting for the Jedi to arrive." She watched as he stood and leaned against one of the counters. "He's your mentor."
"I know that. But if I go against the council's orders they'll…" he paused to look at her and realized that he'd already broken a few rules that very same day. What was one more, he decided with a mental shrug. "To hell with it."
Padmé smiled and rose to her feet. "I'll change our course." Anakin smiled back at her and watched her leave, his eyes lingering on the doorframe. Artoo beeped and Anakin turned to him.
"I'll take care of her," he assured the droid.