"An' you know what, he's a complete arsehole, that's what—hic—bloody fucker, piece of, shiiiit…"

"Ah yes, I can see where you're coming from, Sio-chan…"

"Nuhh, uh, trust me, Jess—being his friend isn't the same as being his—hic—fiancée. Wait, no…ex-fiancée." She squinted and clumsily attempted to pour her fourth—or fifth? Sixth?—glass of wine, only to have the blonde gently reach over and do it for her. "Fuck him—fuck everything, 'f he never comes back well then good riddance, I say…"

Normally, the Japanese girl was known to be more reserved and shy, even around friends. But this, this was different—a few days after Jess had come to check-in on her, she subsequently decided it wasn't a good idea to leave the girl alone, even for just a night. Which was how they ended up sitting at the dining table that now bore more than a few scratches than when they'd first bought it, steadily going through the entire stockpile from the alcohol cabinet that was being emptied into the few remaining glasses that hadn't shattered.

"…So, you're serious then? You're really going to break up…" Even though it had been a 50/50, still her friend was surprised she would really go for it. "Maybe you two should…consider counseling?" As soon as those words left her mouth though, the glare from Sio's face was enough to make the other woman wince. "All right all right, forget I said that…it was just a suggestion…"

"…Sorry; I know you're just tryin' to help…" Man, why hadn't she discovered the other effects of alcohol sooner? Namely, the one that caused her to become callous and not-giving-a-shit, rather than the giggly and horny state she usually experienced. "I…I honestly don't know; I know we can't go back to whatever…whatever it was…so, what's the point…" Swirling the glass, she forced the red liquid down—even though Sio preferred cocktails to wine.

"There's always hope, a chance; even if it doesn't seem so clear right now." The blonde shrugged, sipping her own glass—hmm, since when did Sio and Adam develop such expensive tastes in alcohol? "I just…want to make sure that you're not going to do anything you'll regret…"

Sio snorted into her wineglass, not caring the red liquid was staining the table. "Regret? A little late for that, Jess…" She didn't say it, but there was that unspoken part of the statement.

Do you regret meeting him?

Part her wanted to say no; that she never regretted things or looked back on the past, but the other part, the part that hurt until she thought it would never end…

"…Sio. Are you…"

"No. No, I…" Her head ached and suddenly that last glass of wine didn't seem like the best of ideas. "I…I just want to, be happy…with him…" The bottle started shaking in her hand and Jess had to gently take it from her before it spilled all over the place, "…even though…even though at this point, I think I'm just being unrealistic, I…"

"Shh, no no, you're not being unrealistic Sio, it's…" Sighing, the blonde paused, trying to think of the best words in this situation. "…Isn't that what it means to be in love? To care about someone so deeply, through thick and thin?" She rubbed the girl's hand soothingly. "If you really still love him, then I don't think it's unrealistic at all…to want to try and work things out, even if it's difficult…"

She nodded; the Japanese girl understood the realities of this situation, but the alcohol and three-weeks-going-on-four separation were starting to severely strain her logic. "I dunno; it feels like every time I try and do something, it kinda works but then it ultimately just…can't." She stared dully at the remaining drops of wine, for once considering if she really could handle another glass. "I feel like we're just going 'round in circles…"

Jess gave her a pained look, for they both knew Sio had hit a very vital point. "…Well…I hate to say nothing, but…I really, don't know how to answer that…"

"Don't; somehow, I don't think there is an answer…" Slowly, she laid her head on the table, the dizziness hitting now that her body was processing all the alcohol she just dumped in. "It all depends on…how much, hope I have left…how much longer, I'm willing to put up with this…"

Or he might yet change…? A bitter voice in her head told her to not count on it; that if anything, he was just as stubborn as her and would no doubt balk at the idea—or else rattle off another list of excuses that she'd heard all before.

Next thing she knew, the wine glasses were being washed in the sink, the recycling bin overflowing with the various bottles of wine and champagne they'd managed to polish off. Yet, it wasn't enough—and although there was still some stock left in the cabinet, for some reason she didn't want to be in here any longer—this sad, broken place that was nothing more than pieces of a memory she couldn't get back.

"Hey, Jess…let's go out." Stumbling to her feet, but surprisingly still able to coordinate her outfit, that slinky little black number Adam always said got everybody's pulse racing as soon as she stepped into a room, complete with her one and only pair of 3-inch spike heels. "I'm tired of just moping about here…"

"Uh, go out? Wait a minute, you're not talking about—" Jess could only stare helplessly as her friend stepped back out, now dressed like she was ready for a night of clubbing or pub crawling—maybe even both—despite how much they just drank earlier. "Are you sure you're going to be all right? You've already had quite a bit to drink…"

"Yeah. And?" She swung her purse in one hand, face in a deadpan expression as the blonde could only sigh and give in anyway, because there was no way she'd let Sio go out on her own in this state. "I'm tired of being depressed all the time. Fuck this; fuck that, fuck everything."

Maybe it was good luck that, being a model, Jess usually dressed like she was ready for anything, from comforting a friend to…downing shots at the nearest hotel bar, apparently. It wasn't their usual hangout dive-bar—that was too far without a car and frankly, held too many memories that would probably just sink her mood straight into the ground. And that was how they wound up in one of London's glitziest and most expensive hotels: The Ritz London, seated at the Rivioli Bar, where Sio had apparently turned her charm up to 11, openly flirting with the handsome barman who in return had no problem fulfilling her request for shots and cocktails, one after the other.

"I must say Miss, you sure can hold your liquor."

"Aaahh, trust me, 've had some practice…"

Not that Sio was going to become an alcoholic or anything, but at the rate she was going at…maybe she should slow down a little. Vomiting all over her best outfit, in a 5-star hotel, was probably not the brightest idea—even in her drunken state of mind. Next to her the blonde was still nursing her first drink, and Sio had a feeling that she wasn't really interested in the drink as she was in looking after Sio. Awww, how sweet; a flutter of warmth spread through her—she couldn't tell if it was the whisky or genuine emotions of friendship—before she leaned against the other woman, cooing and nuzzling her shoulder.

"Thanks, Jess…dunno what I'd do without you…"

The blonde blinked a bit in surprise, not expecting this sudden show of affection—usually, if anything it was the other way around, French kisses everywhere—and now it seemed the tables were turned. Smiling, she gently patted the girl on the head, the bartender giving them a look of sympathy. "There there, Sio-chan. That's what friends are for, after all."

The two of them continued to nurse their drinks in silence, not caring much for the rest of the clientele—not that there were that many, given the late hour—until the iPhone buzzed, Jess giving it a bored glance, before eyes widened and she suddenly started looking around.

"Eh, what's wrong, Jess…?"

"Oh! Uh, nothing, just…hang on—" Without another word, she got up and slunk into the hallway, Sio just shrugging and assuming it was just some work emergency or something, until—

"Gin, on the rocks." She nearly choked on her drink as the seat next to her was pulled out, a very familiar, husky British-accented voice sliding in. "…Ogura-san."

So, this must've been what Jess had been in a panic over—somehow, either by damning fate or just sheer coincidence, he'd made his way to this one particular hotel, and this particular bar; accompanied by Mahesh no doubt, knowing how protective the other two were of them. Griping her glass until she was sure it was going to break, Sio defiantly turned her back to him, nevermind the fact she could see that he too, was wearing an 'expensive' outfit (probably borrowed from Mirza): a nice burgundy button-up with a silk vest and tie both in deep, wine crimson that was paired with, of all things, a red-plaid patterned pants. And then there was his scent, so indomitably him combined with the faintest traces of cologne…

If she weren't so furious at him, she would've jumped him right there and then, barman or not. Though granted, the sheer amount of alcohol in her system and the fact that it'd been nearly a month since she'd seen him at all, was making her feel very hot and tingly…despite how much she didn't want to.

"No words? Alright then, if that's how yeh wanna do it…" That smug, nonchalant attitude; as cool and stoic as when they first met as he casually sipped his drink, as if she was just some random hook-up from the past…fuming, she resolutely downed her drink and signaled for another, which the came immediately before the barman wisely decided to see to the other side of the bar, leaving just her and him.

If anybody looked at them at this moment, it would seem like they were just an ordinary couple. The silence however, was deafening; who knew where Jess and Mahesh had gone to; either they were still looking for each other or else had simply decided to let this showdown play itself out.

And Sio had no qualms with that.

"What a coincidence…Muirhead," she drawled, finally turning to face him at last—and almost immediately regretted it. Fuck, was it just her or did he seem even hotter than usual? It was probably just the alcohol—yeah, had to be the alcohol, because then her spite came roaring back and her hormones cooled off—but only slightly.

"Coincidence…or fate. Hmm...well, we've never been too keen on that, have we…" Still wearing that ice mask, that facade of callous and non-caring…Sio wanted to rip it right off, because she knew it was all just a lie.

"Don't fucking start with your 'high and mighty' reasoning, bastard…" She hissed through her teeth, drunk and angry as she was she still had at least some semblance of mind left to not cause a scene right in the middle of a fancy hotel. The urge to just toss her drink in his fancy-ass clothes and storm out, however, was quite tempting.

Clink. The empty shot glass was set down onto the bar, albeit with enough of a change in force to know that her words had unsettled his stupid mask. Good. "Language, Ogura-san…" Though he was considerably more controlled than she was at the moment, she too, could hear that barely-holding-back tremor lacing his words. A single gesture, and before she knew it he was closing up both of their bills—but why—was this his sarcastic way of saying he was still a gentleman? What a load of bull; it wasn't like she was broke, but before she could even open her purse the piece of plastic was returned and then he was leaving, as if that conversation never happened at all—

"—Ah ha, so I see how it is…just come here, trying to show me up, how 'great' your life is as a single man?" Swaggering after him, the hallway spinning heavily but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to care. Where was Jess anyway, how could it be that she wasn't looking for her—or maybe she was, but her phone hadn't rang? Actually, she realized she hadn't been checking her phone at all lately, instead funneling most of her contacts through the blonde instead.

Leaning heavily against the hallway, she rooted through her purse until the shiny little device finally appeared: a handful of missed calls and messages from unimportant people or else spam, all deleted expect—

Adam: 'kay then. Sleep well.

When had this been sent? For some reason her heart started racing, and there was a sudden urge to throw up; the timestamp was three weeks prior—which, if her very fuzzy memory was correct, was right around the time Jess first showed up…and urged her not to give in…

'He actually…texted me?! But why…!' Suddenly nothing was clear anymore, what was up was down and right was wrong; a wave of panic seized her and she was running, running for the lobby just as he was about to head out the rotating door—

"—Adam!" His name fell from her lips, the action so natural after all this time. Just as he'd always had this power to lull her with a single whisper of her name he stopped, just short of stepping out and instead turned to face her, though his expression was entirely unreadable. "I—you—why did you send this?!" Not knowing what else to say, or even what to ask, the only thing she could think of was the shove the phone in his face, much to his surprise.

"…Oh. That." His expression hadn't changed much, but she could sense some sort of hesitation. "…That was a mistake. An accident."

A mistake. Accident. Maybe it was because they were both pissed, or maybe it was because no matter how long she'd known him, Sio had long realized all men were, to some extent, complete morons when it came to communication. "…Excuse me?! A mistake? Is that what I am to you?!" Before she knew it she had gotten up in his face, could smell the alcohol on his breath and see the way his eyes widened after realizing he hadn't exactly used the best words. "You f—"

"—That's not what I—Jesus Christ, this really isn't the time nor place for this—" And before she could cuss him out further, she was being forcibly lead to the counter while he was muttering in her ear to not create any more fuss and if they were going to be having 'this' discussion, it sure as hell wasn't going to be out in the open.

The front desk only gave them the slightest of glances as the rather odd-looking couple approached, both impeccably dressed but the woman looked like she was about to either fall over or tear someone to pieces, while the man had a glower so serious it could probably burn a hole through the wall.

"Whatever you have, just for the night," the credit card was slammed down and taken immediately, the staff being well-trained enough and having seen this scenario more than once.

"Of course sir; anything else in particular? A suite, balcony, extra-large washroom?"

"—What the hell do you think you're doing—I am not staying—mmmph!"

"Please excuse my girlfriend, as you can see, she's had quite bit to drink," a forced smile as he pulled her tighter against him, muffling her angry protests against his vest. "And no, the standard will be just fine." As their cards were being keyed, he pulled her flush against his body. "I'm only going to say this once, Sio: do not make a scene, or I can promise, you will regret it."

He'd never hurt her before, or even done anything of that sort, but the threat was so serious even her alcohol-fogged mind shrank back slightly.

"Very well; room 2513, that's up the lift to your left. Do let us know if you require further assistance, Mr. Muirhead."

What. The hell. What the hell was all this. Still shoved against his vest (so she couldn't scream to the world what a complete arsehole he was), now being forcibly lead to the lifts. It wasn't until the metal doors closed did she wrench free, although there hadn't been much resistance.

"Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?! If your idea of an 'apology' is a drunken, one-night-stand, then you can just go fuck yourself."

SLAM. In the blink of an eye his hand shot forward, trapping her against the wall as he rose to his full height; towering over her by at least a head as the mask, the one he'd kept up all this time, was tossed aside completely and she could see for the first time just how angry he was, as well.

"God damn it Sio, is that all you ever do?! Blame others for your own despair, thinking that you're the only one who ever suffers?!" A sardonic laugh, as he pressed closer and she unconsciously shrank back. "What makes you think you're the only one who's been havin' a hard time of it, 'ey?"

His breath was hot and furious, each exhale carrying the scent of gin and mixing with the smell of cologne and his own. But she wasn't about to give in, either—oh no, if he thought she would be scared just because he banged walls and was a good deal taller, he had another thing coming.

"Hard time? Oh, I'm sorry, we must be talking about two different things." A further narrowing of those emeralds and just as she was about to retort, the doors 'dinged' open, and the next thing she knew he was dragging her down the hall. "Oh, and like this is any better? Forcing me to come with you…guess I'll have to add 'domestic violence' to your blacklist—"

"—Be. Quiet." A single hiss as the door opened effortlessly and she was rudely pushed in, although not as hard as she'd thought. "…The only reason I went out of my way, to even bother covering your drunken arse, is because I know tomorrow morning, when you're hung-over and sobering up, you'll regret making a fool out of yourself like you are right now."

She blinked owlishly at his words, a mixture of stunned confusion and smoldering guilt settling in. In any normal situation she would've been too busy fawning over the luxurious sheets, the gorgeous view and tasteful furniture, but right now Sio could only sit unsteadily on the bed, unsure of what to say now that she was being given the opportunity.

"Oh? Speechless now, are we?" He shook his head in a condescending manner, tossing his jacket over the chair. "What happened to that spite, eh? That venomous hatred you just love to spew out—"

"—Why are you here. Why did you—what the hell was that text all about?!" She cried, suddenly everything was so confusing and she didn't even know what to say, except what she did know, in that moment. "I don't understand you—even after all this time, whenever I think I do, I suddenly realize...I don't."

There was silence, and his eyes lost their edge and now they were mournful, even moreso given they were always rather down-turned to begin with. "…Fine; I'll admit my choice of vocabulary back there wasn't…the best," she snorted and he rolled his eyes, "all right, it was bloody terrible. Happy? Because me, being the apparent berk that I am, stupidly decided to accidentally send you a text that should've been sent months ago. Before, before all…this…"

"…And why should I believe you…"

"For the love of—well that's your decision, isn't it? I'm certainly not going to waste my time trying to convince you…"

As unlikely as it seemed, Sio also knew Adam had never been one to lie, or hide the truth from her. "…So it wasn't meant for someone else…"

"No; why the hell would you think that."

She didn't know; well actually she did, but for some reason she always felt helpless against him; helpless against his reasoning, his words…even her anger, which had been raging earlier, was quickly reduced to nothing but dying embers. "…I don't—because…because I'm scared…I'm always, scared…" And suddenly she did feel afraid and regretful, because still her emotions were always a wreck, never able to see beyond the moment of her anger. Without realizing it she started quivering, both in fear and shame.

"…Is that what this 's about? You really think I'd just go and find some other replacement for you?" He looked hurt, maybe even insulted, but Sio couldn't bring herself to apologize just yet. "Bloody hell, Sio if I've said it once I've said it—"

"—I know! I know you have…but, I can't help but be scared…like, I don't know, how can this be normal? How can fighting like this all the time be…okay?!" Not that she'd ever had much experience to begin with; even until high school she'd never been interested in dating or guys, until he just showed up one day as an exchange student, and everything that happened after was so fast and perfect it seemed to be nothing more than a dream.

To her surprise he laughed, but it wasn't exactly friendly. "Normal? An' what would you be comparing us to, then? Mahesh and Jess? I wouldn't call that type of a relationship normal, you know."

"I don't—I don't know! I just know that there is this, this...thing, this problem…that we have, and yet no matter how hard I try, I can't solve it!" Furiously she shook her head, the embers that had been dying moments earlier fanning up again. "For god's sake we were going to be married, and just the fact that I don't even know if that's a good idea anymore—how can it be anything but a bad sign?"

The word 'marriage' seemed to have triggered something, and his expression changed color again. "…You're right. There is a problem. And it is as I have explained to you countless times already; but if you can't accept it, then maybe you are right. Maybe we weren't meant for each other after all." He wasn't facing her now, but she could detect the slight tremble in his voice. "I accept you, for all of you as you are, Sio Ogura. But if you can't accept me, as I am…then it's not going to work, no matter how hard we try."

For some reason she wanted to cry; she was angry, but she was also miserably sad at the same time. The thought of losing him forever…it was worse than death, almost. And yet if she really thought about it, could she put up with this for the rest of her life?

Perhaps the most frightening thing wasn't if she would be able to live without him, but that she didn't know the answer.

"…I really, don't know…" Her voice was wobbling and she was pretty sure that, despite really not wanting to, she was about to cry. "I don't know any of that! I just know…I don't want you to leave…"

He sighed; a long, heavy sigh, and she knew it was his way of saying nothing had really changed, other than they'd just had another particularly bad fight. "I don't want to leave, either. An' as much as you may think…I don't…I've already decided on you. I don't want anyone else to share my life. Except you."

There was such a tone of longing in his voice she couldn't help but break; turning away as the tears started to fall, because how could she face him after all that? It was the same each and every time; hateful words would rain from her mouth like bullets, and then he would be able to repel them with a single sentence. Why, why…

"Th-this…this always happens…why I should I believe it'll change, or even get better? How is this…worth it?"

"…Maybe it won't change; I can't answer that any more than you can. But for me, at least…I'm willing to accept it. If it means, I can be with you." She hadn't noticed it, but suddenly he was a good deal closer, next to the bed instead of halfway across the room.

"And what about me? You may be okay with this, but what if I'm not? How do I know you're willing to change things…for the sake of my happiness?"

There was a long, drawn-out silence after that; Sio just sitting there and sniffling, not even bothering to reach for the tissue as he sat, sat and just hung his head in silence. What a pointless question; hadn't they already discussed this countless times now, after the very first time they started to seriously consider marriage?

Why would anything be different from then…

There was a stillness in the air, as he sat to contemplate—as if to really contemplate for the first time, what exactly marrying her would entail. All the times in the past, the talks, discussions, whatever—it was based on assumptions, promises that were made at the time because what was there to say—

—other than what they wanted to hear from each other?

"…Then I don't know what else I can say…"

Her heart was beating so fast she could barely concentrate on his voice; no, perhaps she didn't want to hear it, those words she'd tortured herself with countless nights in a row of the worst outcome possible:

I don't want to be with you anymore.

"…listening? Oy, Sio…" His touch, which she hadn't felt in weeks, startled her and she was staring at his eyes, both of the glassy emeralds that were red-rimmed from the alcohol and no doubt lack of sleep.

"…Then why don't you just leave…"

There was a sudden intake of breath and all the tiredness, the drunkenness was wiped away with that one sentence. When it left her lips, she wasn't sure why she had even said that or what it really meant to her—except, it was the only option she hadn't wanted to bring forth, until now. Because really, what other choice did she have left?

He stumbled back slightly, as if her very words burned him—and they probably did, knowing how sensitive he was deep down. "…So this is it, then? This is really…how it ends, for both of us…?"

No! I don't want it to! "…Then what are you suggesting?! What more is there left for us?" She cried desperately, flinging herself against the expensive silk sheets, unable to look at his face any longer. "I've tried everything I can think of; I don't want anybody else in my life, but this just isn't working! I don't know what else I can do anymore; all I know is, this can't continue…or else it'll just completely tear us apart…"

"…I don't know, either." Complete and utter defeat, instead of his usual bravado or whatever words and promises he usually tried to coax her with into staying. A few steps later, and she felt the mattress sinking down with his weight, not even caring anymore how close he was to her now. "…All right. I…guess I should apologize for being so selfish all the time…" There was a strange sort of stutter in his voice, one she never heard before but it presented itself now, his own insecurities and fear.

"…I-If…if you truly no longer wish to be me with me…then, I'll accept…your answer…"