A/N: Rated T for Ron's coarse language. But then, what else is new? Oh, and my Barrister asked that I remind everyone I'm not Jo, I don't own copyright or IP for HP or GP or any other initials I can think of. - DG

"Harry, I swear on my wand that if you planned this, I'm beating your arse, without magic."

Harry stood in the doorway to the locker room. His chuckles echoed into the squad room and back into the locker room. "Honestly, Ron, you look rather fetching, really."

"Now you're taking the piss. This is just so wrong. Why did this happen to me? I hate the slimy git."

Ron tugged at the new features he reflected in the mirror.

"It's not like any of us know which role we have for this training mission. But now that you know who you are in it, you know what needs to happen."

"Muck-manged twit." Ron complained under his breath. "Bastard deserved a broken nose."

"What's that? I couldn't hear you."

"Aurors, 10 minutes to deployment," Gawain Robard's voice boomed through the department.

"Ron, that's our cue. We've got to go."

Ron stepped out from the sink and Harry saw the blonde man's features. The dishwater blonde hair, the slightly out of date robes, and the less than friendly sneer looked appropriate on Ron for the training mission today. He smiled at the less-than-professionally healed nose on his face.

They walked quickly to the deployment room. Five Aurors were picked to play the bad guys into today's training mission. They were going to Cambria, away from people this time, and testing out Neville Longbottom's enhancement on polyjuice potion. He'd perfected it three months ago, adding an additional ingredient to the mix. What he used was being kept top secret by the directorship until it was proven in the field. Today was the first mission for the men.

"But why me?" Ron muttered in the back of the gathering. "I look like a stuffy ponce."

"I picked you personally, Weasley, because of your top marks in training the last 3 months." Robards gave him a withering look. "You've also got terrific scores in stealth and concealment and tactics. I'm an old bugger but even I know when we need to adapt and change. So quit your bitchin' today and let's get out there and see what happens.

"Five minutes, men!"

Harry turned to Ron standing next to him. "It's not permanent. It's all of 4 hours total."

"Hermione's not going to be happy with me when she sees me like this."

"Hell, I'm not happy to see you like this either. But who told you that life of an Auror was comfortable, easy, and fair? That wasn't in my instruction manual." Harry smirked. "Maybe you got the Prince's amended version, with notes attached."

Ron shoved Harry for his quip about an old dusty book. "Git."

"Ponce."

"One minute, gentlemen!"

They pulled their wands and muttered Portus. Moments later, their wands turned blue and they were off to Cumbria and their training mission.

Ron stepped into the foyer of Grimmauld Place. He tossed his robes over the cloak stand next to the door before turned to the quiet house. "Hermione, I'm home."

Hermione stepped out from the doors to the downstairs kitchen and pulled her wand instantly on him. "You've got three seconds before I blow you out those front doors!"

Ron stared down the black walnut wand in her hands and raised his in supplication. "Hermione, It's Ron. I'm under Polyjuice."

"Prove it."

"You have four copies of Hogwarts, A History on your bookshelf upstairs."

Her hand shook slightly but her eyes were still fierce. "One more."

"I put a bite mark on your inner thigh this morning before you left for work."

Hermione dropped her wand and turned her back on Ron.

"Wait, come back!" Ron ran after her into the kitchen. "What's wrong?"

Hermione stopped over the sink and continued to breathe heavily. He stood watching her try to compose her features. "Bugger, I knew looking like that twat before I came home was a bad idea."

Hermione turned and he saw how upset she was, no matter how composed her features were. Ron took a step closer and Hermione took two steps back. "What's going on, Hermione? I'm not this arsehole, that's for certain."

"Until you change back into the man that I love, I'm not getting anywhere near you."

"You're barking. I only want to show you that I missed you."

"And you will, enthusiastically, but not with the face you're wearing right now. It's loathsome."

"Why are you mad at me about this? It's not like I had a choice in the matter. Director Robards picked me for the assignment personally. I didn't know that Auror Williamson slipped some of this right foul git's hair into the potion so I'd look like the sodding bastard."

"It's not funny." Hermione leaned back against the counter and crossed her arms. Ron gave up trying to fix the problem and sat down at the table.

"You're right. It's hardly funny. I can't stand him and being in his skin is like wallowing in dragon dung."

"Now you know how I felt."

Ron turned and saw anguish on her face. "I don't follow."

"The day I had to go under Polyjuice as Bellatrix was the worst. Not because I had to wear that monster's skin or carry her wand, but the look of revulsion on your face when you first saw me. It hurt, terribly, and I wasn't going to tell you. But seeing you looking like him," she waved in his general direction, "it reminds me, rather vividly, of that day and how bad it was."

"So taking advantage of me while I look like this is right out?"

"Why would you even joke about something like this? I have nothing but revulsion for the craven bastard now."

"Hermione, did you just – "

"Yes, I did, because sometimes those words are the only ones that convey the depth of what I feel."

Hermione sat down across from Ron. She refused to reach her hands out to him, content to keep them in her lap. She wouldn't even look at him, staring at the tabletop in front of his hands.

"But this is an opportunity you're missing out. The girls in the office – "

Hermione looked up and glared pure hatred at the face in front of her. "The girls in the office are easily fooled by slick words and pretty robes. They've not been humiliated by the mean boy, or seen him stand aside when you're being hurt. They've not saved his life and then watched when he tried to betray his saviors almost immediately. Frankly, if they want to sidle up to him in an attempt to get him to notice, that's fine by me. He's the next to last person I'd ever consider snogging, much less shagging."

"Who's the last one?"

"Harry."

"Ewww. The thought of them even – "

"And now you understand why neither one of them are the one I'm madly in love with."

Ron changed his expression and decided to play a little with the ferret skin he was in. "Weasley, huh? That poor bloke who gets his socks from a charity shop? You fell for that homely git?"

Hermione searched his features and deduced the mirth in his words. A quick smirk and she returned to her hard features. "That homely git, as you refer to the love of my life, is ten times the man you wish you could be, Malfoy. Broke can be fixed easily, but he's hardly poor in the things that matter. You, on the other hand, disgust me."

"Weasley has nothing he can offer you."

"He doesn't need to. He's proven, time and time again, that he's whom I want and need by my side. So go stuff yourself in a rubbish bin. You'll not interest me with your pretty words and fancy robes. I know the cowardly bastard you are under it all."

"You know you want me. My estates up in Wiltshire – "

"Mean less than nothing to me, Malfoy. I know the disgusting ferret you are under your pretty robes. What matters to me are things you'll never possess – duty, loyalty, courage, and especially friendship. Ron Weasley is the man you never will be. That's why I'm with him."

Hermione got up from the bench she had been sitting on and stood at the counter before turning her head back to the man sitting there.

"And I won't even get into telling you what he does for me personally. I look at your face and am reminded of how much of a bully you are. You are a selfish, craven bully who hides behind his father's robes because he refuses to stand up for anything, or anyone, who isn't like him." A fire lit in Hermione's eyes. "You disgust me, hiding under expensive tailored robes and fancy airs. You're still a arse and a coward. You sit there under airs but I feel nothing but revulsion for you."

Ron felt the first sign of changes starting to bubble under his skin.

"Sure you don't want a leg over, for old time's sake?" He winked lasciviously.

Hermione snorted in disgust. "I know what you have under those robes, Malfoy. Frankly, you're half the man Ron Weasley is. You have nothing, physically, to offer me."

Hermione stood up from the table and stomped off to the pantry downstairs.

Ron felt the skin changing first. He was glad to be finally rid of the slimy git for skin and back into his own ginger hair and scars down his arms. He watched his hands grow freckles while his fingers grew longer. He ran his fingers through his hair and saw the ginger fringe he wore along with the soft hairs on his face from forgetting to shave this morning.

"Ow, bugger, shite!" He reached down and took off the now painfully small shoes he was forced to wear earlier. He quickly yanked them off his size 12 feet and felt instant relief. But then he saw the inches of pale ankle from the trousers now being 2 inches too short for his terribly long legs.

"Ron?" Hermione came rushing back in the room with provisions down in the basement. She skidded to a halt and smiled for the first time she he returned home.

He winked before pushing the bench back and standing for her. "Bet you missed this face, didn't you?"

Hermione put the keg of butterbeer down on the table and stood next to him. "Now this is the face of the man that I love."

Ron wrapped his long arms around his girlfriend. "I didn't know you loathed the bugger as much as I do."

Hermione stood up on her toes and planted a heated kiss on his lips. "No more Malfoy for the rest of day, yeah?" She pulled his face back to nibble on his bottom lip.

Ron ran his hands down her lean frame and found a soft place for his sizeable hands, squeezing comfortable clothed flesh in them. "I need a shower after looking like that git. Fancy one with me?"

Hermione snuggled into his arms. "Doors locked up?"

"I did as soon as I stepped into the house."

"Hold tight and I'll apparated us into our bathroom."

Ron was kissing the top of Hermione's head when she apparated them into the shower two floors above their head.

"Do you feel better, having said all of that downstairs?"

Hermione looked up at the cerulean eyes she loved and adored. "As a matter of fact, I do. I didn't know I had that stuffed inside my head until you showed up looking like that."

"You've earned the right to say it. I'm glad I got to hear it."

"Maybe someday I'll tell Malfoy – "

Ron put a long digit across her lips. "Don't mention the ferret again, yeah?"

Hermione kissed his finger salaciously. "Yes, Ronald."