A/N: From an anonymous prompter: happy drunk hermione! Maybe a bit funny? :)))) thank you lots xx

Ron shoved the last box back onto the shelf and stretched his aching back. The Boxing Day rush at the Wheezes was frantic and he hadn't worked so hard in months for George. Then again, it might be that they both made galleons hand over fist today, with the little blighters with their Christmas money burning their hands and having to spend it as fast as they could.

If he had to hear one more whining prat begging to get a love potion when they clearly weren't old enough to purchase it, much less know what the real thing felt like, he'd go barmy and check himself into St. Mungo's for some rest.

He tried for a leg over this morning but Hermione wouldn't agree. She said he promised to help George this morning and she was holding him to it. A steaming hot shower would have to suffice this morning. Too bad it meant he'd be away from Hermione and she was supposed to be on her own today. Well, on her own as Ginny was with her. And that Hermione was spending part of the day with her parents, maybe. And she had time to recuperate from yesterday's time at the Burrow then dinner with her parents.

"I'm heading out, Ron."

"Don't call me if you get splinched," Ron replied across the barren shop.

"Why would I call you? You can't apparate without someone holding your hand."

Ron gave a blind two finger salute to his brother who was heading towards the door.

"Well, hello Hermione. And hello to you, sister of mine. Fancy meeting you tonight."

Ron heard a thud from the front of the store and stood up to see over the shelves hiding him on the far side.

"Yes, Ron's in here. Harry's not showed up today."

Ron stepped from behind the aisle to see his girlfriend leaning on his sister.

Oh shite. "What have you been doing?"

Ginny smiled and Ron could tell she was pissed too. "We stopped in at the Leaky Cauldron for dinner. We," Ginny waved her hand to demonstrate the two inebriated witches, "we were just having a quiet dinner, just us, before Seamus showed up. Then Dean and Luna popped in, followed by Neville and the twins." Ginny motioned her hand for Ron to come even closer. "It was a bloody Gryffindor reunion, of sorts, and then Hannah comes over with a whole bottle of Firewhiskey. Luna convinced Hermione to have a shot of Firewhiskey and before I realized it, she'd had three of them."

"Hi honey," Hermione slurred. "Fancy a drink with me?"

Ron stepped up to the two pissed young witches and couldn't help grinning. Hermione was swaying while standing still and Ginny looked like a sun dried tomato standing in front of him. "I do hope you weren't planning on apparating home. You'd lose a foot that way, I reckon."

"Oh, my. That would be terrible," Hermione slurred again. "No more splinching if we can help it." She burped and had a fit of giggles. "Sorry," she muttered. "I'd look weird without a foot."

"We toddled here so you could take us home."

"And you knew I'd look after you and not tell Mum." Ron scowled at his sister. "But Home? Mum's not going to let you in the house like this. You stink of whisky."

"I never said I wanted to go home." Ginny's serious look was betrayed by a case of the giggles seconds after her proclamation. "But take us home, brother of mine."

"You're on your own, Ron!" George bellowed before ducking out the door. His gaffaws echoed for a second before he apparated out.

"Bloody wanker," Ron muttered under his breath before looking at the two before him. "Home, you say?"

Hermione took a step forward and landed in Ron's arms. "Yes, home. I've missed you."

He looked at his sister next to his girlfriend. "And you, you bint? Where are you sleeping tonight?"

"I'll firecall Mum from Grimmauld Place and tell her I'm too pissed to apparate and I'm crashing with you and Hermione."

Ron scowled. "You mean you'll be curled up in Harry's room, won't you? Well, it won't do you any good since he's working the night shift tonight."

Ginny stood up tall, which still only came to Ron's chin. "Doesn't matter. It's a room and it has a comfortable bed in it." She burped loudly and Hermione erupted with another case of the giggles. "Harry likes me in his bed. I like being in there too."

"Who'd I piss off to be like this?" He muttered before shaking his head again.

"Mum's gonna kill me," Ron shook his head again. "Well, let me turn off the lights and we'll get home." He pulled his wand from his pocket and waved it around the store. Curtains fell and lights dimmed.

"Once we get home, both of you can sleep off all the firewhiskey you drank."

Ginny opened the door first and held it while Ron supported a staggering Hermione with him. "You sure she only drank three? She seems more pissed than just three."

Ginny giggled again. "I guess it was three. It could have been more. I was talking with Neville some and wasn't paying attention."

Hermione stumbled into Ginny but kept her arm firmly around Ron. "You, you Harpie. You drank three on a dare by Seamus. I," she spread her arm wide, the one that wasn't wrapped around Ron's waist, "I had four drinks. You bet me the first one, and I did it. Luna drank one with me. She was funny. She was singing along with Dean and Seamus. She didn't know the words to the Irish song they were singing but it was funny." Hermione looked up at Ron and smiled. "Someone threw a galleon my way to get me to quit singing. Hannah took it for part of the cost of the bottle of spirits."

Hermione stopped with a fit of giggles before looking at Ron. "The third was courtesy of the twins, who had to sing too if I didn't drink the shot."

"You said you drank four," Ron inquired while pulling her to the side of the building so they could apparate home.

"Ah, the fourth." Hermione's voice took on her posh accent that came out when she was being haughty. "The fourth was with Neville, who had spent some of the day with his parents. He wanted to toast them in their honor."

"Ah, no wonder why you're bloody pissed. You've can't drink that much and not be sick."

"Padma sobered me up after the third one. Guess it wasn't that good, huh?" Hermione held her fingers out and counted on them. "I think I had five, actually. Neville wanted a second. I can't remember if I finished that one."

"Spells don't work well on Firewhiskey, Hermione." Ron stopped and propped Hermione on the wall. "George taught me that. You have to drink the potions, not use the spells." He looked at his slowly turning green sister. "Ginny? Think you can side-along with me?"

Her eyes were turning bloodshot and she wasn't a healthy pale shade of crème. "Yeah, but I'll probably retch when we land."

"That serves you right for getting pissed on Boxing Day."

"And if you weren't working for George, you'd have done the same thing too, you tosser."

"Yeah, you're right. I'd have been right there with you, tossing back drinks with you, probably for Fred."

Ron heard Hermione giggling behind him. "Better charm my shoes. I don't want them stinking for weeks."

"Rather your shoes than your pants, Ron Weasley."

Ron ignored Hermione's quip while holding onto Hermione. "Grab my arm," he commanded Ginny.

She broke into another fit of giggles. "I've told Ginny about washing your pants. She thinks you need something other than Chudley Cannon's pants." Her voice turned posh again. "But I already bought you pants, didn't I?"

"Next stop, Grimmauld Place." He gripped his wand tight in his hand. "Kreacher's gonna be mad tomorrow, I reckon."

Ron spun with two along with him to their place a few miles away.