Happy Holidays!

There was a possibility that she was going to kill him. Or, try to kill him at least.

Deeks knew that Kensi didn't care much for the holidays, even though she blocked him away from the exact reason for her disdain. He knew enough about humans and their emotions and connections to understand that the good ones didn't hate for no reason. They could love for no reason, but hate was usually inspired.

And he didn't really plan on trying to turn her hate around, but if he could lessen it, they would both be happier. Because he loved Christmas - the lights, the songs, the smells, and the joy. It was in his nature to thrive off of happiness, and for so long the holiday season had been a great source of that for him.

Until he bonded to the Grinch, of course.

Not that she shouted her loathing from the mountaintops or anything. Kensi put up a strong front and played nice with all of the activities, and even decorated the palm tree at the Mission. But he knew better, and knew she was going to be pissed when she walked through the door to her apartment in 3, 2, 1...

Monty the puppy yipped as she entered her code to unlock the door, then plopped his furry little butt in front of it. "I'm baaaack...what the hell is the dog wearing?"

"He's Prancer," Deeks answered, but it seemed pretty self-explanatory. Monty had antlers and a jingly red collar around his neck. "He was Rudolph, but he ate his red nose. So, yeah. Prancer the normal nosed reindeer."

"He's a dog." Kensi rolled her eyes but knelt down to scratch the puppy's ears. Having a dog wasn't her choice, but she had warmed up to the little guy. It helped that he was a snuggler and had been a fast learner with the potty-training.

Deeks paced around, a little anxious about her dismissive attitude about the state of her apartment. "Doctor visit go well?"

"He's not a doctor, he's a chiropractor."

"And his name is..."

Dr. Todd was the silent answer. "Shut up," she snarled, standing up and grabbing a chocolate dipped pretzel with green and red sugar sprinkles on it. "It was fine. Good. It still seems to be helping, so there's that."

"Good. Great." Seeing a chiropractor was something she'd fought, but after getting repeated headaches due to an unrealized neck injury, it made the most sense for her health. Granted, there had been a few times when Deeks "helped" her with the headaches, but using their intense mental connection for medically necessary orgasms felt...well, just wrong. He was her Companion, not an almost-human vibrator.

Kensi pursed her lips. "I'm waiting."

He smiled innocently. "For?"

She ran her fingers along a string of lights on top of the kitchen bar, then flicked a tiny stuffed snowman in the head. It tumbled to the floor. "For an explanation of why it looks like the North Pole vomited in my apartment."

It wasn't that bad really - a small tree by the television, adorned in twinkling lights and cheap ornaments. Some fake snow. A few strands of lights. Various snowmen and reindeer, one of which was now DOA on the floor. "What did Frosty ever do to you?"

"Nothing."

"Do you hate Santa, too?"

"I don't hate Santa." Kensi rolled her eyes. "I am used to being...alone for the holidays. It has been that way for a while, and I have been fine with that."

And he was used to not being alone, ever, and couldn't understand why she would prefer that. His brain worked very similarly to a real human's most of the time, but he thought logically. Logic would tell him that if he had been happy with his former humans during the holidays, then obviously other humans would like the same, for lack of a better word, companionship.

Being around Kensi right now gave him little twinges of sadness that had no explanation. Her mind and heart were closed off tight, and she wasn't letting him in. It was as if he had lost months of progress, but she still maintained the same amount of control over him. It hurt. "Do you ah, want me to leave?" Deeks asked quietly. Another snowman fell to the floor, this time by its own accord.

She narrowed her eyes in confusion. "Don't be ridiculous. You live here. We live here. It's just-"

"Different," he finished her thought. For both of them.

Bending her knees, she picked up the lost snowmen and placed them back with the others. "The place looks great. Very festive. Do you also dress up like Santa on Christmas Eve?"

"Only on request," he joked back. But yeah, he did have a suit. It would probably stay in storage this year.

"He's doing it on purpose, right?" Deeks leaned on the rails of the second floor balcony, watching as Sam sighed and pecked Callen on the lips. "I mean, Callen is totally setting him up every time."

"Totally doing it on purpose," Nell agreed, clicking her kitten heeled boots in delight. Her snowman sweater was gaudy, her cheeks were artificially rosy, and with her small stature, she could have easily passed for one of Santa's elves. He loved it.

Just like him, she loved the holidays. It must be in their programming somehow - the need to bring joy and happiness during times when people often struggled to find such things. And maybe they could be obnoxious about it, but they were only almost human. She could feign innocence with the ridiculous amount of mistletoe she'd hung throughout the Mission, but really, she just got a kick out of watching people get stuck underneath it.

And get stuck, they did. Callen tricked Sam nearly every day into stopping underneath one of the many hanging plants throughout the building. Considering how little time they actually spent at their central office instead of working the streets, the number of justified on-duty kisses Callen managed to acquire was pretty impressive.

Sam and Callen weren't the only ones, though. Nell let Eric catch her under the mistletoe plenty of times. Kensi got some Christmas sugar from Eric once, too. That was awkward. Hetty got stuck with Sam, though he was wise enough to just give her a peck on the cheek. Deeks had only left himself open to manipulation once, and Nell standing on her tip-toes to reach his lips had everyone laughing hysterically. That was an interesting sensation for him, kissing another Companion. Far less overwhelming than kissing a human, that was for sure. The overwhelming part was what made kisses special, though.

"She's pretty close to that one by the side entrance," Nell commented a little too casually. "Just saying."

"Who, Kensi?" Deeks scowled. He had been trying to catch her under the mistletoe for a week now, but kind of hated that Nell knew it. "And get junk punched in my synthetic balls? No thank you."

"Come on, it's Christmas Eve."

"And she's Ebenezer Scrooge."

Nell hummed. "Hmm, yeah. Maybe the ghost of Christmas past has been paying her an extended visit?"

He shook his head and sighed. "Do you know something I don't?"

"Lots of things, I would imagine."

"You're an asshole," he chided, heading for the stairs. "And that sweater is ridiculous."

"You're welcome!"

Deeks attempted to hurry down the stairs as if he weren't actually in a hurry, and jumped from the third step to land right in front of his human. "Sup partner?"

Her eyes flew up from the papers in her hand. "Shit, you scared me."

"Just keeping you on your toes."

"You're so weird..." Blowing a puff of air from her cheeks, she tossed the papers on her desk. "I was just reviewing some end of the year paperwork."

He tilted his head and slowly started inching backwards. "You didn't ask me to help."

"You haven't been here the whole year," she countered. "Why are you backing away from me?"

"I'm not backing away from you." He took another step.

Kensi balked at him, but did exactly what he had wanted - she followed. "Liar."

"Okay, maybe that burger you had for lunch had too many onions on it."

"Shut up." She lunged to try to hit his shoulder, but he grabbed her fist and pulled her under the desired entryway. "What are you-"

"Mistletoe!" Nell pointed and yelled from the second floor. What was left of the skeleton crew turned their heads in unison and collectively "oooooooh-ed."

Kensi had cheered on all of the other mistletoe kisses but looked like an animal caught in the headlights when she was put on the spot. Before she could protest, and he could feel it coming, Deeks squeezed his knees together (for protection) and dipped his lips to meet hers.

The kiss was chaste, just as his with Nell had been, but he knew before it even happened that it could be life altering. It wasn't just two partners or friends connecting. The bond between them was something that even the smartest human or artificial life form couldn't put into words. It was love and protection and friendship all concentrated into one action, and he could literally feel her breath being stolen away. His chest felt tight and his thoughts were a cloudy mess as he pulled away. Very, very cloudy.

It was too much for her. He knew it instantly. Her cheeks were flushed and he could hear her heart in his own ears. Was she just surprised? Pissed? About to turn into a human Roman candle? The seconds it took before she was able to speak felt like a lifetime while waiting for her reaction. Especially when it didn't turn out to be the one he wanted to get.

"I, uh." Kensi wiped her top lip with her thumb and looked around anxiously. "I'm gonna call it a day. Merry Christmas everybody."

"Kensi, wait-"

"I'll see you when you get home, Deeks," she interrupted, slinging her bag over her shoulder. The tightening of his chest grew worse as she walked out the door, and he wasn't sure whether the pain was actually originating from her anymore.

She took the car. It was only fair, really, seeing as how he apparently crossed all the lines of personal space and appropriate workspace boundaries. Not that they didn't share a bed, or see each other in their underwear, or make crude jokes with each other on a regular basis. Or, it wasn't like he didn't love her. He had no choice in that, but even if he did, he would still love her rude, messy, annoying ass. The lonely ride home on his borrowed bike gave him plenty of time to acknowledge all of these things as he tried to sort through the jumbled mess of memories that flooded his brain for the few seconds his lips were on hers.

And as intuitive as he was, as much as he could feel and sense and understand, he still couldn't make sense of what he saw. Maybe because he just wasn't wired to understand. There was one thing he did know for sure that he had to do, though. He unlocked the door of the dark apartment, with Monty greeting him as usual. Kensi was sitting quietly by the tree, flipping through an old book. "I'm sorry," he said immediately.

"Don't be." She closed the book and motioned to the floor in front of her. "It's a Christmas tradition, and even baby Jesus knows you fucking love Christmas."

Clearing his throat, he sat facing her with his legs crossed. It was then that he noticed that there were actually two presents under the tree - the one from him that had been there for days, and one that he assumed was from her. "I don't guess you enjoy the irony of loving Christmas but not believing in the baby Jesus, do you?"

She rolled her eyes. "If there is life after death, and a heaven, do you think special circumstances would warrant the admission of robots?"

"Probably not."

"So does it really matter if you don't believe in something historical that you were probably programmed to be indifferent about?"

"I guess...not." He tilted his head. "Is this going somewhere?"

Reaching for his hands, she pulled them towards her, inspecting the smooth but hard lines of his fingers. "What are you, Deeks?"

Her walls were down again, so he knew exactly what she meant. "My name is DKS-35. I am a Companion, a form of artificial intelligence created to protect, bond to, serve, and love humans."

She blinked, and he thought she seemed sad. "And do you wish that you weren't? That you were human instead?"

"No," he answered instantly. Because he wouldn't have this right here if he were. He wouldn't have saved her life. He wouldn't have saved other lives before he met her. His purpose here has never been in question. "Why?"

"Sometimes I forget that you're not. I have wondered if you wish you were." Kensi drew her bottom lip between her teeth. "And then when I remember what humans are really like, I realize what you really are. Because you're not like...them."

"Someone hurt you." He looked at the tree, and looked at her again. The sight was familiar, like it was already in his brain. "Right? Around Christmas?"

She nodded. "I don't have much luck with the holidays. I was engaged once. He left me on Christmas Day. A few years before that, I lost my dad shortly before Christmas. He was my best friend, and the reason I am what I am today."

A rude, snoring, cover hog? Deeks thought. Kensi smiled and pinched his hand. "So, all of this peace and joy bullshit is just...kinda ugh," she continued. "And I'm feeling very confused about us right now."

"I shouldn't have tricked you to get under the mistletoe."

"But why did you?" She frowned and squeezed his hands. "You don't have, well, manly urges. And I know that if your human has those feelings, that you'll return them, but I didn't ask for that. That was all you. Why?"

For once, he had nothing. No smart remarks or jokes or even an answer to the question. Circuits overloaded. That excuse would work if he were just a robot, not a cyborg built to think on his own and rationalize and feel. There had to be an answer - there was an answer for everything if he thought hard enough about it.

Kensi sighed. "Will you tell your brain to slow down and just admit that you did it because you wanted to?"

He was confused. So confused. "That's the only logical explanation. I wanted to. You've been so sad. I wanted to make you happy, or at least laugh. That makes me happy."

"And did the super cliché kiss under the mistletoe make you happy?" She asked, biting back a grin.

"Maybe," he grunted. "Until you ran off, anyway."

She looked at him like she had more to say, but wasn't up for it. Instead, she let go of him and grabbed one of the presents from under the tree. "I got something small for you."

"Me, too." His package was bigger, and he almost boasted that, but she'd seen enough of his cock antics by now to be tired of the jokes. "My box is bigger," he said instead.

"What's in it?" She asked as they swapped gifts. Kensi was impatient and ripped into the wrapping before he could answer her. The gift definitely needed an explanation. "An herb garden? You realize that I had a cactus once, and I still managed to kill it."

Deeks pointed to the box, a starter kit for a small garden. "Part of the gift is that I'll keep it alive for you. I heard you talking to Callen one day about how you wanted one of these. Was I wrong?"

"Not wrong," she said with a smile. "I love it."

"It's boring."

"It's awesome. Especially since you're gonna be cooking lots of good shit for me with this. Thank you." She nodded to him. "Open yours."

It was flattering that the Grinch's heart had grown enough to make her want to give him a gift. Though maybe he should stop thinking of her as the Grinch now that she'd explained her history with the season of lights. And the eyes glaring at him, those fascinating eyes of hers, let him know that she was in his head. Oops.

"Grinch?"

"Sorry. Again."

"Open the damn gift."

"Right." The present wasn't so much wrapped as it was just covered with recycled brown paper that he was pretty sure she had brought home from work. If he had to guess based on the size and weight, it was a book. The shape was a little wonky though. He ripped the paper at the top, peeling it down to reveal his prize. And was actually, genuinely surprised.

In his hands was a picture frame, one that was very obviously old. The sheet covering the picture was made of actual glass, not some sort of alternative, and even had a crack spreading up it from the bottom right corner. The frame itself was simple, antique bronze with a worn filigree around the edge. People didn't have frames like this anymore. They rarely had paper photos at all, much less ones that looked as professional as the one she had printed and placed in this frame.

It was from just a few days ago, after the NCCS Christmas party. Some of them had gone to the beach afterwards to continue the festivities, and he had swung by the apartment to pick up Monty on the way. In the picture, he was playing tug of war with the puppy while Kensi sat with her arms on her knees, laughing at the two of them making growling faces at each other. "Who took this?"

"Eric," she answered lightly. "He and Nell were showing me his pictures and I asked if I could have that one to print. What do you see when you look at it?"

He shook his head, staring intently at the picture that he never wanted to let go of. If he was an outsider looking in, he would immediately think they were a family. That wasn't true, of course, but it wasn't necessarily false either.

"I don't really see a cyborg, do you?"

"Not really," he agreed. "But perception isn't always reality."

Kensi pushed her garden set out of the way and crawled to his side so she could see the picture again. "It's not. But this is why I have to remind myself that you're not human. And in some ways, you're even better."

Even if you can be really annoying, he could tell she was thinking, but he was perfectly fine with it. That train of thought ran both ways, but not tonight. It was Christmas, and his gift may have been bigger, but hers was better. "Thank you, Kens. I love it."

"Good." Though he could sense what was coming, he was either too slow to stop it or just didn't want to. A hint of peppermint candy cane wafted up his nose just before she brought her lips to his. His thoughts weren't muddied this time, and he was able to enjoy the heady sensation of literally taking someone's breath away. Not too much, as she broke their embrace before it overwhelmed her.

But there's no mistletoe, he thought.

"I know," she said with a soft smile. "Merry Christmas."