A/N: I should not be posting again so soon, but I'm in a HORRIBLE mood, and we all know my favorite form of self-medication. Hehehe.

I love that you guys are so excited about this fic.

In his years of loneliness, Carlisle had done his best to separate his life into what he could have and what he couldn't. It wasn't that he thought he couldn't have a relationship. It was all a matter of circumstance.

In his twenties, he was far too busy. It was a romantic notion that love could bloom and everything would be great no matter what the circumstance, but that was fairy tale logic at best. Relationships were a time sink, and they were hard work. Worth the effort, as far as he could see, but he had other things to do. Carlisle was no genius. Medical school was a constant challenge. Then, when he finally made it through those hellacious years, there was his internship, his residency, and so on.

In his thirties, he finally had the time to begin to get to know and accept himself. He had no small amount of self-worth issues, courtesy of his father. In addition, after watching Esme split two very important sides of herself between two different men-her husband as her lover and partner, and him to take care of her needs as a submissive-he'd long ago decided if he couldn't have a romantic relationship with a submissive, he was better off with no relationship at all.

Between his self-worth issues and his busy life, Carlisle had figured marriage and a family wasn't in the cards. Then, his gorgeous, intriguing, too-smart-for-his-own-good intern turned out to be a submissive, and had sent his life into the most wonderful tailspin.

Now, the love of his life sat next to him at the table looking distractingly sexy with his reading glasses on and his hair in a disarray from poring over all the paperwork in front of him. He still couldn't quite wrap his mind around the fact this man was his husband, and now they were planning a family together. Carlisle didn't think he'd ever get over the thrill of the thought.

Edward huffed and pushed his glasses up so he could rub his eyes. "Christ, this is a lot of red tape. You ever wish that one of us had been born with a uterus?"

"I've seen the miracle of birth, so no. I can't say I'd wish that on either of us."

Edward smiled. "That's a good point." His grin turned wicked. "But you have to admit, sex is a much nicer form of conception than all this." He gestured at all the paperwork in front of them.

Carlisle grasped the leg of Edward's chair and dragged his husband over to him, delighting in his yelp of surprise. Cupping one hand around the back of his head, he pulled his face toward him for a kiss, letting the fingers of his other hand tickle behind his knee. Edward whimpered into his mouth, his tongue lapping along with Carlisle's.

After a few blissful minutes of this, Carlisle pulled back with a sigh. He stroked his thumb across Edward's high cheekbones, momentarily allowing himself to imagine a baby with this boy's beautiful features. He sighed again. "A lot of couples have fertility issues, sweetheart. That doesn't make this any less sexy." He pressed a kiss to his temple. "Besides, seeing you as a daddy is only going to make me hotter for you."

"Mmm." Edward nipped at his lips with a kiss. "Are you saying you want to be a switch, because I'm pretty sure I'm not okay with that, Daddy."

Carlisle clucked his tongue. "Such a one track mind, little boy." He bumped the underside of his chin. "Concentrate a little longer, and then we can see what fun we can have with my new spreader bar and that edible wax you like so much."

Edward moaned, and they both looked back to the paperwork. He sighed, this time in mild frustration. "We're going to have to put our toys away for a while," he said matter-of-factly.

Carlisle hummed an acknowledgment, considering this.

When they decided to have a family, they'd faced one decision after another. First things first, they had to decide between surrogacy and adoption. As much as Carlisle would have loved to hold a child of Edward's in his arms, neither of them knew a woman whom they could trust. Esme was passed her peak childbearing years, and she'd had a very difficult last pregnancy. Bella was young, didn't have children of her own, and had no desire to be pregnant. Surrogacy was out.

Adoption came with its own choices. They could have adopted outside of the country. They could have registered with an agency that would help pair them with a birth mother. The number of adoption agencies willing to work with a same-sex couple was increasing all the time.

In the end, they decided they wanted to adopt from the neediest of children. They decided to become foster parents with the option of adopting. What it meant was they would open their home to children in need as foster children with the expectation that if their birth parents had their parental rights terminated, Carlisle and Edward would adopt those children (or single child) as their own.

Even after they'd gotten through all of those decisions, there was one more left to make. Would they foster through the county or through a private agency. A private agency provided a larger monthly stipend, but that was hardly an issue for them. It was more like a business than a service, and foster parents were an asset. Agencies had a vested interest in keeping their assets happy.

On the flip side of that coin, private agencies also had stricter guidelines. Carlisle had read online about how they were more fastidious about inspections. While they had to follow state and county guidelines, they also had more freedom to impose other guidelines for their foster parents.

"What have I told you from the beginning, little boy?" Carlisle wagged his eyebrows at his husband. "Fuck playrooms and weird equipment. The best method is to hide in plain sight. We'll put the toys in the chest and lock the chest in the attic." His lip twitched. "The candles still look like candles, and just because you know damn well the things I can do to you with a wooden spoon or the backside of a hairbrush doesn't mean anyone else has to be the wiser. We'll just have to be creative for a time; that's all."

Edward's eyes shone. "We're going to have a very different kind of playroom soon."

Carlisle smiled back, excitement once again making his heart skip a beat. "Soon. Very soon."

~0~

Edward had been quiet since they left the interview. Too quiet. Carlisle wanted to take him out to their favorite restaurant-they were both tense-but he sensed now wasn't the time. Instead, he stopped only briefly for Chinese takeout before driving them home.

"The director was a bit of a jerk, wasn't he?" Carlisle asked, breaking the ice once they were settled.

Edward scoffed. "He didn't like us, but not for any reason I can figure out. It's not the gay thing."

That was certain. They'd chosen this agency after combing through reviews from other same-sex foster parents. Carlisle hummed, thinking it over. "The age gap, perhaps?"

"Ah." Edward's face turned bitter. "That's exactly what it was. An echo of my parents' disapproval."

Carlisle rubbed his knee, and pushed down his own anger. "Well, even if he did disapprove of that, his words were what was important. He wants to approve us, and we'll get the same support everyone else does. We passed the interview."

At that, Edward's smile became more genuine. "And since you hired that guy to baby-proof the house, the inspection should be fine."

"One step closer."

Edward took his hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing Carlisle's fingertips before he let it go.

Some minutes later, before Carlisle could call Edward out on the fact he was just pushing his chowmein around the plate rather than eating it, his husband put the plate down. He angled his body toward Carlisle, clenching and unclenching his hands on top of his knees.

Carlisle put his food down too and scooted over so their knees were touching. He put one hand over Edward's fist and stroked his tense knuckles.

Edward met his eyes, and the uncertainty Carlisle saw there was painful. "You know, before I met you, I thought my parents were, I don't know, maybe annoying? They frustrated me, but I thought that was normal." He swallowed hard. "The way I was… The way I am sometimes, about my feelings, about hugs and cuddles…"

Carlisle didn't wait for him to finish. He gathered his precious boy in his arms, holding him tightly. Edward stiffened a moment, but let himself be comforted. The soft stuff he used to call this.

Edward pulled back to look at Carlisle. "Just promise me one thing. I don't think my parents were bad parents. I really don't, but it just seems so important right now that they-our kids-don't end up… I don't know. What would you call that? Emotionally stunted. They can cry and feel things. If I ever tell them they can't-"

"Baby, hush." Carlisle took Edward's face between his hands.

"I just… I don't want to be a bad father."

"Edward, you're not your parents. Not at all." Carlisle cocked his head, trying to find the right words. There was no love lost between him and his in-laws. The Masens didn't like him, but even though he thought they were misguided, he understood they did have Edward's best interests at heart. Everyone grew up with their quirks and issues. The Masens weren't cruel, they were simply cold.

Carlisle stroked Edward's hair back. "You've come such a long way in a short amount of time, but for the most part, you're an emotionally healthy person. You're an empathetic doctor. You're one of the first people your friends come to when they have problems. And you're so good to me. So tender." He pressed his thumb in a circle behind Edward's ear. "You're warm, baby."

"Ninety-eight point seven, just like most humans."

"Brat." Carlisle chuckled and kissed him. "You're not going to be a perfect father, Edward. I'm as nervous as you are, maybe even more so considering my own example, but I'm not scared."

"I'm not-" Edward started to say, but cut himself off. Likely he realized he was brushing aside his emotions, and wasn't that what his problem was at the moment? "Why aren't you scared?"

"Because I have you." Carlisle took Edward's hands in his and squeezed. "We're good partners, my love. You're going to have my back the same way I'm going to have yours. And yes, that means if we don't agree with a choice the other has made in regards to the kids, we're going to call each other on it."

"You're right. It doesn't sound scary when you put it like that." He scrunched his nose. "Except that whole part where someone is going to trust us with miniature humans. Everything's on us."

"You're right. That is a scary thought."

~0~

Edward loved his parents. As Carlisle had diplomatically put it, they weren't without fault, but neither would he be as a father. Still, it left an acerbic taste in his mouth that rather than be excited to tell his parents they'd be grandparents sooner than later, he was nervous.

Ed and Elizabeth didn't disappoint. They came at the news with a steady practicality Edward appreciated in other circumstances. Because of his parents, Edward was able to come at most situations without the emotion that sometimes clouded other people's judgment. It was a good skill to have. Still, moments like these, Edward could have stood a little glee.

"I'm not sure I understand," Elizabeth said, her brow furrowed. "This route seems circuitous if you want children." Her gaze flicked to Carlisle and quickly back to her son. "You're a well-to-do couple. Surely surrogacy would be a more certain, direct route."

"Yes," Ed said. "The way I understand it, the foster system does whatever it can to return children to their useless parents or at the very least keep them within the same family."

Edward grimaced. "Most of their parents aren't useless, Dad. They're just troubled. They need help."

He could see his father's derision clearly on his face, but before Ed could comment, Carlisle stepped in. "It's true that the system works to reunify families, but of course, that's not always going to work. The agency knows adoption is our end goal. They'll place kids with us who are more likely to become adoptable than not."

"Sitting back and hoping for a child's parents to destroy their own chances is vulture-like behavior," Elizabeth said with an expression of distaste.

"It's a simple if regrettable reality," Carlisle said, his tone still even. He held Edward's hand below the table, squeezing now and again. "The system is overrun with children in need. It's like anything else. There's only so much you can do for a person who doesn't want to help themselves. Some of these parents are going to fail. Edward and I find beauty in the idea we can be a forever home-steady love and support-for a child or children who would otherwise go without."

Elizabeth nodded and switched tactics. "Still, it seems like a recipe for heartbreak. Even if the agency places children with you who are likely to become adoptable, there's still a chance you'll have to give them back to their real parents."

Edward's heart gave a pang. That was one of the harder things about being a foster parent. They'd be responsible for getting the child or children placed with them to visitation with parents who could have any number of issues. They would have to deal with the fallout while, in all likelihood, the child gave all their love to their parent. Then, after they got attached, after they came to love one of these children, they might have to give them back without the hope of seeing them ever again.

He had to swallow down a thick knot before he could speak. "It's a possibility, but something could potentially go wrong no matter what choice we made. We'll deal with it if and when it happens."

"You always did like to make things harder than necessary for yourself," Ed said, shaking his head. He shrugged and offered his son a small smile. "But I suppose parenting is always going to be hard no matter what route you take to get there. You'll be a good father, Junior."

Edward blinked, shocked into silence. "Are you-what?"

His mother likewise smiled and patted his hand. "I'm excited for you. I can't say I'm not worried, but your father's right. This can be a very good thing."

Sometime later, after Edward had gotten over his surprise at his parents' approval, he was out in the lawn. It was his habit, whenever he went to visit his parents, to do a few chores to help them out. He'd stooped to pull at a number of stubborn weeds when his mother's voice brought him out of a reverie.

"Junior, what on earth happened to you?"

Edward rose, concerned at the horror in his mother's voice. He was confused until she pulled his shirt up, exposing a rather nasty looking bruise on his back. He quickly yanked the shirt out of his mother's grasp and pulled it back down. "It's nothing, Mom."

"That's not nothing."

Despite himself, Edward's cheeks flushed.

It really was his fault. Brat that he always was, Edward had earned himself a hard paddling the day before. The injury was a fluke. Carlisle was a very careful Dom, and Edward was good about holding position even in the midst of a difficult scene. But that time, electricity shot up his spine at the exact wrong moment. He'd straightened up and twisted just right so that Carlisle's blow came down not on his backside, where it was safe and would do no real harm, but on his back where any number of things could have gone wrong.

Carlisle was beside himself with guilt. He was rigid, as anyone in their culture should be, about the code of safe, sane, and consensual. He'd been the one to safe word out of scene and, after he'd assured himself he hadn't hurt Edward seriously, had begged his forgiveness over and over.

Of course, Edward couldn't tell his mother any of that. "It's really nothing. A patient woke up unexpectedly. He didn't know where he was, and he reacted in panic. I got shoved into some equipment. That's all."

"Goodness." Elizabeth patted his upper back gently, still staring at the spot even though it was covered now. She huffed, but she seemed appeased. "I never thought about your profession being dangerous."

"Ah, that's nothing. I know a guy who was stabbed in the neck with a needle."

His mother's eyes went wide. "That's not comforting."

Edward laughed and gave his mother a quick hug. "Don't worry about me, Mom."

~0~

Over two months after they'd begun this journey, Edward and Carlisle finally got the call that would change their lives.

The children were Riley and Bree, five years old and six months old respectively. Siblings. Their mother had been taken in on domestic violence charges. It had been discovered she had let an ex-boyfriend back in the house, the same boyfriend whose abuse of Riley-not his child-had gotten the boy taken away from her a year before. One of the conditions of her getting Riley back had been her promise that she wouldn't let her ex-boyfriend near him or the child she'd been pregnant with at the time.

"The mother, Victoria, has a history with this man. James. He did some time for statutory rape when they were together when she was still in her teens," their social worker, Siobhan said. She gave them a sad smile. "Under the circumstances, I would say there's a strong possibility Victoria will choose her boyfriend over her children. Even if not, the fact she continues to go back to him will factor heavily into a judge's decision to sever her parental rights, but that's getting ahead of ourselves at the moment."

Edward was sure he was squeezing his husband's hand too hard, but he couldn't seem to stop. "That doesn't matter right now," he said, meaning it.

Siobhan nodded. "Then let's introduce you."

Beside him, Carlisle took a deep breath. They held hands all the way down the hall to the room where Riley and Bree were with another social worker.

Riley was a skinny child. He had messy brown hair and angry, suspicious brown eyes. The second the door opened, he'd hurried to pick up his baby sister in his arms and held her protectively as he glared and Carlisle and Edward.

The baby was his polar opposite except for the matching mop of messy brown hair. She was a chubby girl and happy. She squealed with pleasure and babbled at them in baby-speak with a big, slobbery grin on her face. Edward was instantly smitten.

"Riley, this is Carlisle and Edward. They're going to take care of you like we talked about," Siobhan said.

Edward watched, ever more in love with his husband, as Carlisle got to his knees in front of Riley. His voice was gentle and light. "Hello, little man."

"I don't want to hug you," Riley said. His voice trembled, but he hid fear behind anger. Edward's heart went out to him.

Carlisle just nodded. "Okay. That's fine. How do you feel about handshakes?" he asked, offering his hand.

Riley looked uncertain. Siobhan squeezed his shoulder. "Why don't you let me hold Bree, hmm?" she said, reaching down.

At first, it seemed like Riley would refuse to give the baby up, but she must have been heavy for him. He let Siobhan take her, and then he looked back to Carlisle. He took a breath and tentatively put his hand in his foster father's.

A chill went down Edward's spine. Was Carlisle meeting his son? Their son? He could tell Carlisle was trying not to beam as he shook. "It's good to meet you, Riley."

It all seemed to happen quickly then. Not half an hour later, Edward was stunned to find himself back home, baby Bree heavy on his chest, asleep. Riley, over his initial mistrust and clinging to Carlisle's hand, explored the house with wide eyes. He'd already said several times he'd never seen a house so big.

Riley got distracted discovering the contents of the toybox they'd purchased and filled, so Carlisle came back to the couch to sit beside Edward. His smile was adoring as he stroked Bree's cheek and then Edward's.

"There are kids in our house," Edward whispered so Riley couldn't hear.

Carlisle laughed. "There are." He stroked Bree's cheek again. "This is a good look on you, Edward."

"Yeah?"

"Yes." Carlisle sighed and rested his head on his shoulder, taking Edward's free hand.

There was a chance this could be theirs for good. The thought made Edward so happy, he almost cried.

A/N: Ahhhh my docs… Thanks to barburella, MoH, Mina, Packy 2.0, songster, and jessypt for all their help and their flails. I do love me some flails.

Okay. Don't expect another chapter right away. I'm trying to be good. Heh