A/N: Good morning, my ducks. Let me take this time to say I appreciate every one of you (even my spiky anons). Your kind words and support are a source of great happiness and pride for me. Thank you.

Edward would have liked the time to figure out this latest twist in their comedy of errors. But he got stuck on an extended shift and then only had five hours to sleep before he was up for another. So on and so forth, and before Edward knew it, four days had passed.

Rather than lifting a weight off his shoulders, Carlisle confessing his darkest fears seemed to make everything worse. They'd both been managing the depression that was only natural after a loss like they'd suffered, but it seemed to Edward that his husband was beginning to spiral.

It was little things, really. The specter of near-constant self-deprecation plagued Carlisle's words. Like when he'd referred to himself as old-not playfully-before the benefit. Or when he hadn't caught on right away to what was really going on with the patient in a story Edward was telling, he'd given a rueful smile. "I'm just not as quick as you, baby," he'd said.

Carlisle wasn't as arrogant as Edward was by a longshot, but he'd never lacked for self-confidence. Too bad Edward only had time to worry about it in quick minutes while he tried to catch a nap in the on-call room.

And, of course, when Edward did have some time to try to work things out, life just couldn't stand to make it easy for him.

"Good morning, sunshine." Carlisle smiled at Edward as he came down the stairs late in the afternoon.

Edward yawned and flopped down on the couch. He blinked as he watched Carlisle. "What are you doing?"

"Cleaning."

"Well, I know that, smartass. I mean why are you doing it?"

"Bella called. She said she had something important to tell us, so she's bringing us dessert."

Edward woke up a bit more at that. He scratched the back of his head. He loved his best friend, but he'd been counting on having this time alone with his husband.

"Take a shower," Carlisle said, stooping to kiss Edward's cheek. "I have things covered here."

A shower sounded great. Most of the muscles in his body ached, and the hot water would do him good. Edward gave up the idea of getting into any serious conversation and turned his attention to looking forward to Bella's visit.

Almost an hour later, Edward was clean and dressed, sitting next to Carlisle and across from Bella at their dinner table, each eating a slice of the fruit tart she'd brought. Well, they were pretending to eat. Edward was worried. He was always worried these days, but this was new.

It was clear from the moment Bella walked in the door that something was wrong. He asked what it was the second he laid eyes on her, and she said everything was fine. She was fine. Edward was all kinds of wrapped up in his own crap, but he still knew his best friend. Something was up.

Edward realized he had no idea what was going on in Bella's life. Some best friend he'd been.

"Okay." Edward set his fork down, done with small talk. "Something's wrong. You're jittery as hell, Bella. Your leg has been bouncing like crazy, do you realize that?" He glanced at Carlisle and saw his husband was looking at his best friend with concern in his eyes. So he'd seen the same thing Edward had.

"I'm fine," Bella said, too quickly.

"No, please, Bella. I'm here for you." Edward took Carlisle's hand and squeezed. "We're here for you. Whatever it is, spit it out."

He braced himself for whatever was coming-a new disaster. Wasn't it par for the course? He didn't even know the right way to be there for his husband, and now his best friend needed him. What the hell-

"It's not bad," Bella said. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Why are you so nervous?" Carlisle asked, his tone gentle.

"Ah. Okay." Bella picked up her napkin and wrung it fitfully in her hands. "Okay, so, I'm going to apologize in advance if you're not ready to hear this. I would hate for this to make things worse for you. You know how much I love both of you." She reached across the table, her hands palm up.

Edward and Carlisle glanced at each other as they put their hands in hers.

She took a deep breath. "Okay. I've had a long time to think about this. Since you said you wanted to have kids."

Edward sucked in a breath. He didn't know where this was going, but he was suddenly on the defensive.

The skin around her eyes tightened, and she looked at them with sympathy. "I'm sorry. I'd do anything to fix what was done to you. I know it's Riley and Bree you want. I know that. I'd steal them back for you if I thought that would work, but I can't."

Still confused, Edward squeezed her hand.

"Whatever you decide to do, you need to know that I've thought this through." She looked at them, nervous but determined. "I want to carry a pregnancy for you."

A jolt went down Edward's spine, and he heard Carlisle make a little noise of surprise at the back of his throat.

Bella hurried on. "I was going to offer when you were looking into fostering, but I was on the fence. It's a big decision." She flexed her fingers around theirs. "Trust me, I wouldn't be telling you this if I wasn't at least three hundred percent sure. I don't know where you are with this, but you guys are great daddies. I want to help you get there again. You deserve to be daddies."

"Sweetheart, what we deserve shouldn't have anything to do with your body," Carlisle said, his tone incredulous.

"How many times have you said you never want to be pregnant," Edward said, finding his voice.

Bella's lips twitched at the corner. "What I want and what I'll do are two different things." Bella straightened up, not letting go of either of them, and they were clinging to her. Her eyes were shining, full of tears. "The world is full of unfair things. So many things we don't want. Let me tell you about things I do want. I want you to have your family. I want to see you that happy again. I want little people wandering around this planet who are just like both of you."

Edward huffed and then laughed. He had no idea what to think. "You want more mouthy assholes like me around?"

She grinned at him. "Yeah. I really do." She sniffed. "And that's something I can do."

"Bella-" Carlisle started.

"It's something I want to do. If you guys want it," she said. She wiped at her eyes, finally pulling her hands from theirs. "Look, all we need to talk about right now is that it's an option. A real option. You know the law better than most. Even in the worst case scenario, if I went crazy and decided I wanted to fight you for custody of the baby-"

Carlisle's body jerked, and Bella grimaced. "Sorry," she said. "Sorry, that was probably the worst way to say that. You know I would never, ever do something like that. What I was trying to say was, even if the impossible happened and I was possessed by a demon, the baby would be biologically yours. No one could take them away from you the way Riley and Bree were taken away. That's what I meant."

"It's okay," Edward said. He rubbed Carlisle's knee, glancing at him, trying to read his expression. "It's...we hadn't talked about it yet. More kids, I mean."

"Okay. Less baby talk and more fruit tarts." She pulled her piece toward her, cheeks flushed with emotion. "Fruit tarts fix everything."

~0~

Carlisle didn't know what to think or what he was supposed to be feeling. There was one emotion in a roiling sea he could identify absolutely, because he didn't want it. Resentment.

Bella's offer was beyond generous. He knew how she felt about her body and her life. He also knew without a doubt she'd weighed every aspect of her offer, and she meant what she said. She wanted this for them.

It was just that her offer was another weight around his neck. He couldn't quite identify why it felt so heavy-stifling-but it did. Another heavy burden was the last thing he needed.

Carlisle sat on the edge of their bed that evening and rubbed his eyes. He was so tired. Exhausted.

He heard rather than saw Edward approach. The bed dipped, but for once, his husband's warm presence didn't make him happy. He knew they were about to have a conversation he didn't want to have.

"I want to consider this," Edward said after a minute of silence.

Carlisle exhaled on a gust. He pushed to his feet. "No."

Edward followed him across the room. "Why not?" He didn't sound mad. He didn't even sound surprised at Carlisle's instant denial.

"You know why." An all too familiar tightness rose to choke him, and he could feel the burn of bile at the back of his throat. He turned away from Edward, busying his hands putting away folded clothes. "If it turns out I can't be everything you need, I'm not going to tie you to me like that. I know you don't want to hear this right now, Edward, but you deserve freedom of choice."

The words curdled in his mouth, twisted in his gut. It was the absolute last thing he wanted, but what he wanted didn't matter. There was what he wanted and what he had. That was the way things were; the hand he'd been dealt.

Edward caught his arm before Carlisle could move to the closet. His breath was shaky. "I want this with you," he said, his voice still steady.

"I-"

"No. Let me finish. I'm not dismissing you." Edward gave a grunt. "Although, for the record, I still think you're out of your damn mind if you-" He stopped, and Carlisle heard him take a deep, calming breath. "Let me try that again. I hear what you're saying, Carlisle, but it's not a valid argument."

Whatever energy Carlisle had left him. He turned, went back to the bed, and sat down, his shoulders slumped. "What's invalid about it? Neither one of us have ever believed that love is all you need to make a happy life together."

"No. You're right, but again, that's beside the point."

Edward came to stand before him, and then he sunk down onto his knees. Carlisle winced, flinching away from all the memories that pose invoked for him-sweet, beautiful, sexy memories tainted now by ugliness. He might have closed his eyes, but Edward reached for his hands.

"If hell freezes over and we can't work this out, there's still the option every other couple in the world has," Edward said. "Divorce"-Edward's lips twisted around the ugly word-"wouldn't change that we're both fathers to our children. Married or not, I will only ever want to raise kids with you."

Carlisle stared into his husband's eyes, trying again to figure out what he was supposed to say, what he was supposed to be feeling. How could he help but hope? He'd wanted a family with this man for a very long time now.

He'd had a beautiful family, and it had been destroyed. Carlisle shuddered at the wave of anguish that washed over him, but he didn't pull away from Edward.

"Nothing's changed," Edward said, bringing his hands to his lips as he looked up at him. "There was never a guarantee in life. Even if this hadn't happened to us." He took a deep breath, as though breathing through a great deal of pain. "When we made the decision to look into adoption, the world was just as uncertain. If they hadn't been taken from us, something else could have happened. Like anyone else, we could have grown apart, or had some other profound life change or just fallen out of love. It happens.

"I'm not asking you to make a decision right now. What I'm saying is that as of this moment, you're still everything I need and want out of life. That's how I'm going forward. You're my husband. I love you. I want you, and I want to raise a family with you." The look in his eyes turned scared, and he dropped his gaze. Carlisle could feel the tremble of his fingers. "I guess the question is what do you want. Right now. Right this minute, what do you want with me?"

Carlisle slid off the bed, onto his knees on the floor. He wrapped Edward in his arms. He didn't say anything. He couldn't find the words. He wanted to believe they were going to survive this, but he just couldn't see how Edward wasn't going to end up with the short end of the stick. He didn't want Edward to settle for less than what he deserved, but at the same time, he wasn't ready to give up.

Edward scratched his fingers through his hair and kissed his neck. "Okay. I understand why you can't think about what Bella said yet. I know you're not there, and for the record, I'm not sure I was ready to hear that offer yet either. I get that, but maybe you can consider something else."

Carlisle pulled back just slightly so they were nose to nose. "What?" he asked, a little nervous.

Edward locked eyes with him. "I think it's time for us to try therapy."

Carlisle blinked. He couldn't say he was surprised, but it wasn't what he expected to hear just then.

"Garrett gave me a card months ago for a therapist that might be best suited to fit our needs." Edward brushed Carlisle's hair back, still looking him in the eyes. "We're broken, and I think… I mean, what else could we be after everything? That's part of fighting for us, right? I-"

"You don't have to convince me I need therapy," Carlisle said. "I'm willing. I want to try."

Marriage took work, after all. Even if they were doomed in the long run, Carlisle needed to be sure he'd done everything he could.

"Good." Edward ducked his head, his look becoming uncharacteristically nervous. "And I need to ask one more thing."

"Anything," Carlisle said.

Edward raised his head. "I want to...be intimate with you again."

That was more along the lines of what Carlisle had been expecting for days. He exhaled slowly. He'd given that plenty of thought since he'd been forced out of denial.

"It doesn't have to be sex," Edward said quickly. His fingers stroked along Carlisle's cheeks. "I'm not interested in pushing you, but I miss you. It's been so long. I think it would help us. I think it would help..." He took Carlisle's face in his hands. "I just miss you so much."

"Baby." Carlisle slipped his hands under Edward's shirt, seeking contact. He kissed his husband. Slow, lingering kisses. Edward's hands stroked along his sides, kissing him back.

Carlisle stood, bringing Edward along with him. They only parted long enough to tug off shirts. Just shirts at first. They knelt on the bed, still kissing and touching. Petting. Like they were shy teenagers again.

No. That wasn't true. It wasn't that these touches were innocent and new. It was just that this was the first time in months that their touches were unburdened by anything else. Now that Carlisle wasn't concentrating on whether his cock would or wouldn't cooperate, he could enjoy his husband's kisses and touches.

He found himself on his back with Edward straddling him. When Edward broke their kiss, Carlisle lay back, breathless. He stroked his fingers through his husband's hair and down his back as Edward sucked gently at his neck, his collarbone, his shoulders. He sighed. One of the billion weights around his neck untangled and fell away.

When Edward worked his way back up, Carlisle got a firm grip on his waist. He flipped them, smiling at Edward's gasp of surprise. He caged Edward with his body, staring down and smiling at him. "I want to give you pleasure," he said, dipping down and nipping at Edward's lips.

Edward groaned and his hips rolled up to meet his. "But you-"

Carlisle shook his head. He didn't want to think of things he wasn't capable of at the moment. "You're right. That's something we can figure out." He stole several more kisses. "But it's not something we're going to figure out tonight." Another flurry of kisses to Edward's nose and his cheek. "Making you happy, seeing you like that, is one of my greatest pleasures in life, baby. Right now, tonight, that's more than enough for me." He kissed his lips and spoke the next words against his mouth. "Is that what you want?"

Edward whimpered, his breath hot on Carlisle's skin. "Yes."

Carlisle ducked down and nipped his neck. "Yes?"

"Yes. Please."

Carlisle hadn't been lying. Tit for tat was all well and good, but he'd never believed that both people had to come every single time any kind of sex was had. He found great satisfaction in bringing Edward pleasure.

Edward had been right too. This was exactly what Carlisle needed. It wasn't like on Edward's birthday which, despite Carlisle's desire, had been about placating his husband so he wouldn't ask questions he couldn't answer yet. It was good to know that not everything had changed. He still knew Edward's body perhaps better than he knew his own.

He knew how Edward liked it when he tapped along the ridges of his spine while he sucked him off. He knew the spots to tickle to throw Edward off, and the spots to caress to reel him back in. He could read the intensity of Edward's pleasure, knew how close he was to coming, by the look on his face and the noises he made.

"Carlisle. Baby. Ung. Fuck. Ohmygod. Baby. Yeah." Edward babbled nonsensically, his voice getting increasingly high-pitched and his words ran together. His fingers were wound tightly in Carlisle's hair.

Carlisle moved his hands from Edward's back to cup and fondle his balls, knowing he was close. Sure enough, Edward bucked into his mouth with a cry. His head was thrown back. His body began to tense, waiting for release. Carlisle didn't disappoint. He didn't tease. He worked Edward with his tongue, his lips, his hand, just as wrapped up in the noises he made as Edward was in the sensation. Edward came with a scream, his body arched up to meet Carlisle's mouth.

When he was spent, limp on the bed, Carlisle released him. He laughed when he kissed the head of Edward's cock, and the other man shuddered-no doubt sensitive at that spot. Carlisle rained kisses along the inside of his thighs, around his belly button.

Edward cupped his hand around Carlisle's chin and tugged, bringing him up his body faster. They kissed, and Edward licked his taste from Carlisle's lips.

Carlisle pulled back after a moment, wanting to look at Edward. They'd rolled to their sides by then, and as they stared at each other, they touched-light, intimate caresses.

They'd needed that; Carlisle had needed that. It was one thing to say they were together, quite another to show it, to feel it. They were still very much a unit.

Neither of them spoke, but they moved together, wiggling until they were under the blankets and pressed up close. Carlisle kissed Edward's fingertips when he drew his hand along the line of his mouth.

For the first time in months, Carlisle felt a glimmer of hope. He hadn't changed his mind. He knew Edward was going to need more than he could give at some point, but that point wasn't now. He had no idea what to do about the future, but now, they had conquered the first step of getting their present back in working order. They had a plan and the promise of more of this. Intimacy. Love.

"I love you," Carlisle said, kissing the tip of Edward's nose.

Edward tilted his head up to catch his lips. "I love you."

A/N: I'm grumpy and at work. Humph. Talk to me, people. Tell me how you are.