A Boxaballs
Sometimes being written about is a compliment but as KiGo find out, what the men in their lives really think of them, it's kind of sick and wrong. Rated M for mature themes and lots of mockery.
This story is not for profit. Disney owns everything. Literally. Its just a little ditty a friend and I came up with over breakfast. He's an evil boy.
Chapter 2 - Lipsticklasersquirts
Shego clicked the mouse and a page opened before the three women. Not knowing what to expect, Kim's heart was racing in anticipation. Even launching herself out of plane for the first time didn't raise her pulse to the level her heart was now pumping blood throughout her body. She could feel it in her ears. Kim grabbed Shego's hand for support. She could feel the older woman's hand squeeze back.
The hero's green eyes greedily skimmed the page of the 'HotRodWang' entry. She didn't fully take in the introduction to the story. Her eyes were desperately searching intently for her name, Shego's name, any reference to red hair, green skin, hero or villain. Anything really that identified her as being central to the story. There seemed to be a lot of waffle but about halfway through the story she found it. This definitely was a story about her and Shego. It said so, right there on the screen.
Kim's first thought was, the little rats. They had actually hidden their own names in order to write smut but had the nerve to use her and Shego's real names. Why didn't they disguise them too? How hard would it have been just to use something as stupid as Red Blaze or Busty Green?
Kim Possible burst through the doors chasing the evil villain Shego, whose long black hair sashayed sexily behind her perfectly formed and very squeezable butt. Kim was panting heavily, her pert and young bosoms heaving, trying to keep up. Her usually perfectly fashioned red hair was plastered to her young face. She no longer cared about her appearance. She just wanted to run her hands through those luscious black locks. Kim's black crop top was ripped, a lacy purple bra showing tantalising glimpses of delicious white and supple flesh.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking when I was fighting Shego, I just have to run my hands through her locks, thought Kim. When did Ron learn the word 'sashayed'? Or was that Wade's influence and input? Considering she had not seen either with a book, ever, it was probably Dr Google's suggestion.
The young hero had another thought while reading; she had never worn a lacy purple bra in her life. Until Shego, Kim hadn't even worn a traditional bra. Even today she was not a girl gifted in the breast department. Ron had seen her change for a mission on many occasions. He should have known that. Kim wondered whether changing in front of her best friend was the genesis of his fantasies. She was going to kill him.
Kim looked back at the laptop. Anne and Shego were reading at a faster pace. The story had progressed and she was in some sort of pool filled with jello fighting Shego.
"Shego, you will never win. Heroes always come out on top."
"Is that what you want Kimmie, to come while being on top, because, that can be easily arranged. How do you want this? I can lie back and you can have your way with me. Any. Way. You. Want. Or we can rumble in the hot sticky jello until you can admit you are as wet what I am.
"It's only a matter of time, Pumpkin, before you admit what you already know and that I'm pretty hot and you're as wet as what I am," said Shego, her voice husky and dead sexy in Kim's ear. Shego nibbled on Kim's earlobe sucking it gently before using that talented long tongue to outline the rim.
Wet? Kim hated that description of a woman's arousal but not as much as moist. It was a small mercy that Ron and Wade did decide to use the former. Both words reminded her of dark and inhospitable caves that were discovered and liberated from bats by big bad virile men.
"Mmmm... raspberry jello, my favourite. Is your pussy just as tasty?"
Well obviously, they were in a pool of flavoured jello. Kim shuddered. The consistency of jello would be absolutely revolting, thought the redhead. The disgusting sticky mess would be a nightmare to be swimming in. Even in her limited sexual experience, there were certain areas where food and sex should never mix. To do so, you were just asking for an infection and a trip to the clinic.
The elder Possible must have had a similar thought. Anne Possible physically shuddered before commenting, "Oh my God! Imagine the vaginal micro flora after being submerged in that. You're just asking for thrush." Shego snickered beside her.
Kim's mind went to the other aspect of the scene that bothered her, the word pussy. The redhead was always uncomfortable by the use of the word. She didn't understand how it was bandied around to describe female genitalia. Who in the world used the word pussy in the throes of passion? 'Oh baby, your pussy is so sexy!' Yeah, because that brand of sweet-talking worked to get her in the mood, thought Kim.
If Shego ever referred to her lady parts as a pussy during sex, Kim wouldn't have any second thoughts of kicking the green woman out of the bedroom for the night. Sexual privileges would have been instantly revoked, perhaps even for the week. Women weren't cats, and Kim had great difficulty understanding why the female genitalia were constantly being referred to as one.
Kim's mind was racing as she read on. Somehow the pair of them had gotten out of the jello pool.
Kim reached into her pocket and took out her lipstick laser, hoping to use it to make a speedy exit. The jello made it extremely hard to grip. It slipped and fired. The beam of the laser ricocheted and quickly sliced the remaining clothing off her body. The mission outfit was ruined and slid off her body easily. She was as hairless and naked as the day she was born.
Shego looked up at her nubile teenage body lustily, like she was some meal ready to be eaten. Her lust filled emerald eyes made Kim's nipples stiffen sharply. Shego brought her head closer, closer to Kim. Kim's body was shaking uncontrollably with anticipation. Shego's mouth easily reached her destination. The black lips sucked hard on the erect, rosy and virgin flesh.
Kim moaned. She could not believe how aroused she was becoming, how turned on Shego was making her. The sensations were new and unbelievable. Her movements became wanton. She grabbed Shego's black hair and held her in place.
"Kimmie, you taste like so sweet, like a ripe cherries. Do you taste as sweet as this everywhere else? Let's find out." Shego continued with her expert ministrations. She had a talented tongue.
Shego raised her head so their lips touched, before Shego took control of the young woman's mouth. Kim felt like Shego was eating her alive, her tongue repeatedly snaking into Kim's mouth. It felt so right. My God, this woman could kiss. Kim could feel Shego's hand wander down her body, over her feminine hips. The sensation made her shiver. She could feel Shego's hand hover over her hairless snatch, the long black nails awaiting entry. She was more than ready. She was dripping. That first brush over her clit was heavenly. She could feel a finger enter her.
"Are you a virgin, Kimmie?"
Kim couldn't speak. She nodded. "Let me go easy on you then."
Shego removed her long fingers and dropped to her knees and planted her face in Kim's sopping pussy.
"Oh my God," moaned Kim. "Don't stop, Shego, that's amazing." Kim shoved Shego's face right where she needed it.
"It gets better, Kimmie." Shego stopped licking the hero's folds and looked around for the lipstick laser. Grabbing it quickly, Shego put the laser in her mouth and then penetrated Kim, increasing the speed as Kim was close to climaxing. Shego could feel it when the hero was close. The hero grabbed her harder by her onyx locks and held her firmly in place. Kim screamed out Shego's name just as she squirted all over Shego's face again and again in a constant stream. Shego's face was completely covered and she loved every moment.
When she recovered from her third orgasm in a row, Shego spoke, "Mmm ... Kimmie cum and raspberry jello in my hair. How was that Princess? Was it as good for you?"
"That was amazing. Thank you. Now your turn." said Kim seductively as she eyed her prey. Kim was about to turn the tables on...
The roar of laughter brought Kim back to the Possible kitchen. Anne and Shego were both laughing hysterically. Shego was pounding her hand hard on the table. Anne was holding onto a chair for support. Kim had never seen her mother laugh like that.
"God, could they have put in any more clichés? That was really bad. How can Kim taste like cherries after romping in raspberry jello? Or did they want to hammer it home that I took Kim's cherry?" said Shego when she could finally speak. "Baby Kimmie loses her virginity so she can't have an ounce body hair. Heaven forbid she be confused with the Brazilian rainforest pin-up girl from the 70's.
"And what is it with straight men and women with long fingernails in porn? What lesbian in her right mind would have long nails while trying to penetrate their partner? I cringe at the thought. Its worse than going to the doctor for a pap smear." The green woman shuddered.
"Shego, I can't say I have ever had to think about it before, but I guess it could be quite uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as going into see your gynaecologist, 'doctor, doctor, help me quick, my girlfriend tried to use my G-Spot as a nail file'." Kim watched as the elder Possible and the former villainess convulsed before her for many minutes. Shego was hopping on the spot, like she was going to wet herself.
The green woman rubbed the tears away from her face. "That piece of... Whatever that was, was beyond bad. It was as sexy as Drakken's mother," said Shego. The healer gave the green woman a questioning look. "You've met her Anne, come on, you have to agree."
"That's a bit harsh, Shego. She wasn't that bad,"' said Anne. The green woman gave the Possible matriarch a questioning look.
"Okay, she was really that bad, and I think this was worse. How is that last bit even possible? That slippery and penetrating lipstick laser would have either blown off Shego's face or did some damage to Kim's genitals. How did the story Shego even hold on to it for three orgasms and a squirt?
"Come to think of it, who squirts and has multiple orgasms when they're losing their virginity? Kimmie, I know the family motto is 'anything is possible for a Possible' but that is stretching it even for you." The normally restrained good doctor started laughing at her own observations.
The green woman doubled over with laughter at the healer's comments. Anne was just as far gone. Every now and again, Kim could swear she heard her mother say the word squirt and when she did, it would set off Shego for another round of desk pounding and snorting. She had never seen the two most important women in her life behave this way.
Kim wondered about Drakken's story. Would his effort be just as clichéd and tragic? She wondered if the mad scientist would also bring them to tears? Probably, but what sort of tears would they be?
With that she reminded the other two that they were far from finished. "Ladies, as fun as that was, we still have to get to Drakken's efforts," said Kim.
Shego groaned, "Don't remind me, Kimmie. Goodness knows what his sick mind has conjured up."
The plasma thrower took a deep breath. "Okay, let's do this." She clicked the mouse and Drakken's story came into view. The three heads leaned in closer and began reading.
Shego entered the room, the cold and almost empty dungeon. It was her favourite room in the entire lair. She was a force to be reckoned with, an imposing presence. Her devotion to her employer was admirable. She put her body on the line for her work. She would do anything for that man. Today was no different.
The henchwoman marched up to the single bed located in the centre of the room. On it laid the very annoying and perky cheerleader, Kim Possible. She was tied to the bed securely with cooking twine and couldn't move. The so-called hero was shaking in fear.
"Cooking twine? Who ties someone up with cooking twine," demanded Shego. "Kimmie, could get past the spinning tops of doom and she's being tied to a frigging bed with cooking twine? Moron!" said Shego, spitting out the final insult.
Shego was not wearing her usual skin tight latex jumpsuit. Instead she wore something befitting the occasion. The henchwoman adjusted her flowery cotton apron, her full and abundant naked breasts spilling out quite nicely out the sides. She marched purposely to the annoying teen that was now making the bed shake from her fear.
"Kimmie, even if you had a fit on the bed you wouldn't be making the bed shake like that," pointed out the older redhead.
"I know. I think the point is he wants me to be humiliated by what Shego is about to do to me wearing his mama's apron. The very obedient and respectful, Shego, I might add." The green woman met Kim with a sharp jab to the ribs.
Before marching up to the bed, Shego adjusted the black rubber washing up gloves. She also had a green plastic spatula and blueberry muffin in hand. She reached out and shoved the muffin into the annoying girl's mouth and who instantly stopped the whimpering. Now, she could continue with her plans to cause the so-called hero pain on behalf of villains of the world over.
"What is it with the kitchen and food references? I know for a fact his mother doesn't wear an apron. I hope Blue Boy's not thinking bondage when he makes his muffins? Frigging freak!" Shego was shouting and pointing at the screen before her.
Anne and Kim giggled at the green woman's running commentary and theatrics. She was not taking Drakken's story well.
Shego could feel her excitement growing, pushing out the front of the apron. For once she would win a battle against the annoying pest. Her stiff green nipples glistened like mama's wet grapes...
This time is was Anne and Kim who howled with laughter. When she was able to speak, Kim said, "Hahaha... He sure loves you and his mother, 'Her stiff nipples glistened like mama's wet grapes'... Hahahahahaha..."
"Enough! I've read enough! This is utterly pathetic and sad!" roared Shego. "Why is anyone even following this crap? He's a middle age virgin who is so attached to his mother that he wouldn't know what a real relationship was, let alone what a sexual relationship was, if it slapped him in the face."
"Is it because you just realised that Drakken has turned you into his mother substitute, flowery cotton apron and all, and is fantasizing about you?" Kim asked her girlfriend teasingly.
"Kimmie...," growled Shego in response. She was clearly not amused by what she had just read and the resultant teasing from the Possible women.
"Hey, at least he likes you, even if you are his mother, but he detests me. He wants me humiliated!" said Kim dryly.
Anne directed the squabbling lovers' attention to the screen, pointing down. "What do you think this means, 'Shego could feel her excitement growing, pushing out the front of the apron?'"
Shego reread the line. A few times. Was Blue Boy actually suggesting... Kim beat her to the punch. "Shego, do you have a penis in this story?"
"I don't know, Kimmie. When I first read it I thought he wanted me to penetrate you with the spatula but I'm not sure now."
Shego's brows furrowed. "I'm going to kill the little bastard. Not only has he turned me into his mother but a futa as well."
The green woman was met with blank stares from the Possible women. "Ah come on, you have to know what futa is." Again, there was nothing from mother and daughter.
"You know the anime thing where a character has both sexual organs, small Barbie waist, big boobs and bigger schlong? No?"
Kim giggled at Shego's description. It sounded familiar but to be honest she rarely listened to Ron when he rambled on about gaming, manga and anime. "I wonder if your schlong has flaming powers like the rest of you. If it did, it would add a new meaning to hot sex."
"Kimmie... You're really pushing it at the moment," snarled Shego who was clearly not happy or comfortable with the turn Drakken's story had taken.
"Let's look at who else has reviewed," suggested Anne trying to defuse the situation occurring before her. "What do you think the chances are we aren't the only ones who are creeped out by this?"
"Slim," replied Shego. "They're not here to be reminded of real life. It's all about their own egos, sicko fantasies and payback."
Kim was unsettled by her girlfriend's answer. She didn't need to know her best friends thought of her as some cheap wanton whore. Nor did she want to get an insight into Drakken's tiny little brain that matched his tiny little hands.
The younger Possible focused on her mother's suggestion. "Good idea, mom," said Kim. She looked down at the screen. "Here's one."
GUEST (WheelieGuy): Who needs video games with quality like this every Friday night?
"Is that Felix?" asked Anne, looking at her daughter curiously.
"It sounds like Felix. I can't believe even Felix is in on this. I thought we were friends."
"Some friend you have there, Princess. Drakken and the boys, I can understand as we are E.V.I.L but you are on your own with your little group. The bad news is if this Felix kid can review as a guest, then the stories are available to more people than we think."
Kim cringed at the news. Could this get any worse?
Anne pointed to another review, "Is that Wade reviewing himself? Who does that?"
SMARTHACKERWHACKER: Great story. Another reason, not to leave the house. Loved the line 'Mmm ... Kimmie cum and raspberry jello in my hair. How was that Princess? Was it as good for you?' LOL.
"Ooooh... Princess, Nerdlinger has problems, you know that don't you?" Kim didn't think that Shego was ever going too warm up to Wade. After today, she wasn't even sure she would be able to forgive him.
Shego interrupted Kim's thoughts. "Is it me or are our brothers reviewing stories about their own sisters. That takes the cake in creepy. I'm going to kill the twins when I get my hands on them." She pointed at the two reviews. Kim leaned in closely to read.
ROCKETBOYS: That's one to warm up the thrusters.
And,
2.5REDGUYS: We want to be that laser. Copy and tap that x2.
Olive green eyes narrowed. Her own brothers were on here? That was beyond unsettling. It bordered on incestuous and Kim felt her skin crawl. She felt disgust towards her brothers, and while she was at it, the Wego's. It was just sick and wrong.
"Mom, look at what the twins have been up to! I told you they were deviants when you and dad weren't home." Kim always felt like her brothers got away with murder, with only a small portion of their crimes being uncovered by her parents.
Anne touched her temples, almost like she was trying to stop a headache. "Kimmie, we don't know for sure it is the twins. I will speak to your father when he gets home and he can deal with them. He can decide if a lecture about respecting women is warranted or if the deep space rockets should be fired up," said Anne obviously not wanting to deal with her unmanageable sons at that moment.
Shego had not been paying attention to the Possible women's conversation. Her focus was on the reviews before her, "Is that Fiske reviewing Stoppable?"
GORILLAZ: You can't write and you can't fight. Why are you wasting your time?
"I thought they hated one another. Or does Monty think he can become the Monkey Master by reading Stoppable's essence." Kim didn't respond. She was completely over the feud Ron had with Monkey Fist. She never wanted to hear or see another monkey in her life. Being turned into one cemented that.
The trio then proceeded to look at the reviews Drakken's story had received.
ONEEYEDPIRATE: I don't think cooking twine will do the trick in this instance. I would suggest something sturdier like a tie, or a belt for the more hard-core type of play.
"Is that the one-eyed witch reviewing Drakken? Is she into bondage? WTF!" demanded Shego. "I didn't need to know that. That's it! Kimmie, the handcuffs are going!"
"Perhaps. Or Betty is being polite," said the elder Possible, ignoring most of Shego's outburst.
"No wonder she hasn't been busting our chops for being behind schedule. She knows exactly what Drakken has been up to," said Shego.
"It appears that way. Think of it from her point of view. It is better to have Drakken behind schedule and writing, than to have him trying to take over the world. The cost savings would be just too great for Global Justice to ignore," said Anne, whose business experience was showing.
"I suppose," said Shego unhappily.
Kim knew that Shego was obviously not thrilled at being considered as a cost saving and Drakken's minder. She tried to distract her girlfriend with another review. "That one looks familiar too."
GUITARSWEETRIDE: Nice to see you doing something useful, cuz. Next time less Aunt Estelle and more green babe.
"Oooh, that's totally gross!" said Shego. "I can't think of anything worse than Mullet Man pulling his ponytail over me. Yuck, yuck, yuck. He's totally gross. Actually, I think I need a shower. Do you mind, Anne?"
"No, feel free. Reading this makes me feel the same way."
With that Shego walked out of the kitchen making her way to the Possible bathroom. On her return, the green beauty stood and addressed the two Possible women.
"Ladies, you know what we have to do, don't you? We have to write our own and post it. I think I know the perfect way to do it. Two can play at this game. Wade needs to have some cum and raspberry jello in his hair. Maybe something more industrial, that takes a few days to find on the Internet and to then remove."
Shego paused, deep in thought. "Maybe we could write a story that goes something like...
Once upon a time, there lived a middle aged blue troll named Drakken that lived underground with his mom. She was an annoying and ugly old troll that had a voice that could strip wallpaper. She held her son's testicles in a vice. She added a new definition to the expression blue balls. Drakken had no friends because his mom didn't let him out to play as a child. He had a personality disorder that made him rather crazy, enough to drop out of college. He wanted to rule the world so he could have anyone he desired. What he desired most were teenage boy trolls. Until he could get what he wanted on tap, Drakken would have to do all the work.
Drakken would tell his mother he liked taking long walks. He wore his blue coat and walked along paths knowing where teenage trolls would frequent. He liked them young, the pimplier and hornier, the better. The young trolls would not give him lip. Well not the kind he detested, the kind where he was constantly mocked by a certain redheaded teenage cheerleader troll.
Drakken almost wet himself when one day he heard along the grapevine a young blue troll named Zorpox, or Ron to his friends and his genius brother named Fat Wade had moved into the neighbourhood. According to gossip Zorpox had a strange looking pet named Rufus. Drakken was eager to meet his new neighbours. Fresh meat was exactly what he needed or even a stuffed naked mole rat than looked very much like a fat penis with teeth..."
Shego stopped composing when she heard Anne laugh and Kim comment "Oh, that's so gay!"
"I know, right?" Said Shego with an evil look on her green face.
"So, are you with me, ladies? All for one, one for all?"
"I wouldn't miss it for the world," said Anne.
"Definitely! Shego, I don't want to be a wet blanket but we don't know anything about writing gay sex. I have never been with a man."
"I haven't either, Princess, but Anne has, and she's a doctor. Besides, it didn't stop them from writing really bad, and I mean really bad, anatomically incorrect lesbian sex. We have a middle aged virgin who can't cut the apron strings, a virgin genius agoraphobic, and Stoppable who probably has had sex but doesn't know the first thing about women or where to find a clit, writing about us. Surely, we can do a better job and get more reviews in the process.
"Let's get perverse enjoyment out of the fact men get squeamish about gay sex. They love the lady on lady action but turn the spotlight onto them, show them what their dangly bits can actually penetrate, or where to find the male G-Spot... They suddenly get very hysterical. For the life of me I can not get how a watching or participating in a football gangbang is not gay."
Shego paused, took a breath before continuing, "Enough venting. It is time for action. I for one can't wait to turn up the heat, Shego style. So, who is in?"
Shego put out her hand. Anne and Kim covered Shego's wrist with their own. The three wrists bounced up and down a few times before they released their hands. They were now in it together.
"So what shall we name ourselves," asked Kim.
"Who can type the fastest?" demanded Shego at the same time.
"I think with all the reports I've had to do over the years, that would be me. In regards to the name, how about the 'Lipsticklasersquirts'?" suggested the healer.
The room erupted into laughter. The three women were clutching their sides in pain. This time it was Kim who had the tears rolling down her face. She hadn't had so much fun with her mom and girlfriend in like... Never. It was not the bonding afternoon she had planned to spend with her mother, but in a weird way, she was grateful. Now, how to get her revenge? She needed to imagine how gay boys got their jollies and give it a KiGo twist.
A/N: Sorry, I really, really hate editing.
A big thanks to LJ58 and Dr Tom of Bostonia for their support and delicious input, and to InariNineTails and BrazilNut for the push. Also, to Drifter - I hope I delivered. Thanks for the support.
And finally to the reader who thought this story about them ... If the shoe fits ...