Elliot looked out the restaurant window and took a sip of soda. Kathy, Kathleen, and Maureen all sat in a corner booth at one of Elliot's favorite restaurants. The sun was just setting and everything seemed calm.

Except Elliot wasn't calm, not at all. He checked his watch and wondered how long this dinner was going to take. He mentally swore at himself for forgetting his cell phone, and then cursed again for not going back to get it. 'This is our night, Elliot. They'll be fine with out you for a couple of hours. The world is not going to end…" Guilt. He had felt that a lot lately, and as much as Kathy loved to play the guilt card, it was nothing compared for the guilt he felt when he told his wife he loved her. He had tried to fall back in love with her, he honestly did but when push came to shove it wasn't her that he daydreamed about, it wasn't her in his dreams, and she definitely wasn't the one he thought of at the wee hours of the night.

His family had noticed, and he would be fooling himself if he thought they didn't. He spent more nights at the office then needed, and always in the company of his favorite female Detective.

"Dad?" Kathleen called bringing Elliot back to reality.

"Yeah?" He said but didn't look away from the window. Something was off, it didn't have the calmness it had just seconds ago. His eyes and ears were perched like a dog as he stared out the window. He thought his eyes were playing on tricks on him, that he had actually gone crazy and was seeing things. He blinked twice before his heart caught up in his chest. He heard the sirens first, loud, louder than he had ever heard them, ambulances too, he definitely heard the distinct difference of the sirens.

"Are you even listen---" Kathleen stopped talking when she saw the look of fear in her father's eyes. She had never, ever seen her Dad look so petrified. A swarm of Police cars surrounded the building across street. All eyes in the entire restaurant turned to see what all the commotion was about.

"Olivia." He said quietly, barely even audible. He froze up for a second and did a double take out the window. No, no, that can't be her…it can't be---

And when he realized, that yes, it was in fact his partner standing outside of the building with her arms up, he knocked over the table as well as his chair and dove for the door and ran outside. Because not five feet from his partner was a guy in a mask pointing a gun at Olivia's chest.

He heard Kathy scream at him and tell him not to go, but that was his partner out there, that was his best friend out there, it was Olivia, he had to protect her. So he ran out the door never taking his eyes off of her, he was half way across the street when he heard it.

A single shot, followed by a round of gun fire. He saw her go down, and he froze in the middle of the street. As if in slow motion he saw the perp pull the trigger and the smoke of the bullets path. He saw her body jerk five feet off the ground and then her fall to the cement below her. He couldn't see her anymore; the police cars in front of him blocked his view. There was chaos all around him, people screaming, and sirens going off, and he couldn't breathe. His chest was so tight he bent over and gasped for air, his hands covered his heart as if the bullet had punctured it.

She was hit. He saw it, and he was too late. He was too late.

Guilt over took him and he began to panic as tears sprung to his eyes. Take it back! Take it back! Please God no, he pleaded, he prayed. He couldn't move, all the noise seemed to stop, his heart paced, he fell to his knees and cupped his head in his hands.

This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. What the fuck happened? What was she doing there? Who was supposed to protect her? But they were supposed to watch the game tonight! He didn't get to tell her…

Flashback

"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asked as he gathered his things.

"As sure as the sky is blue," she said with one of her dazzling smiles, "I'm so behind in my paperwork I'll probably stay here tonight. Plus I still have to go over the Jenson files." She said with a frown.

"Well I can come back and help you when I'm done with dinner." He offered.

"Elliot, go. I'll be fine. Be with your family."

I want to be with you, he thought. He nodded his head and gave her a smile, "The game is on tonight, we can go over the files, while we watch the game." He asked with one last chance.

"Ok fine, but only because you are the only other Sabres fan I know in these parts."

Elliot smiled; this was true…sort of. He knew it was her favorite team so by default he couldn't help but have a soft spot for them, "I'll pick up some brews." He said and walked out with a new pep in his step. He looked back at her and took in her beauty, and if he would have known that that was going to be the last time he would see her alive he would have watched her a little longer. Not that he didn't know every curve of her body, every laugh line in her face, and every sparkle in her eye, because he did. He stared at her everyday for the past 9 years; there wasn't a part of her that Elliot didn't know about, but more importantly there wasn't a part that he didn't love about her. He would have done anything to stay in that moment.

End Flashback

Every memory, every wasted moment pained his thoughts, his heart had broke into a thousand pieces and all he wanted to do was wrap himself in Olivia's body and fucking tell her that he was in love with her.

We were supposed to watch the game tonight…

Thoughts of never seeing her again flooded his mind. He was never going to see that pearly white smile of hers, or hear her laugh; he was never going to hear her call him a 'stupid sonovabitch' again either. He took a deep breath, God, what he would do to just hear her yell at him again.

He felt a touch on his shoulder, but ignored it, it wasn't a warm squeeze with tight grip that Olivia was famous for. No, it was a cold tap like pat, and he choked on a sob when he realized he was never going to feel her touch again either. His world was collapsing and nothing could make this right. Nothing was going to be able make this situation right, nothing could bring her back. So he stayed, crunched down in the middle of the street having a nervous breakdown.

He heard people's voices around him, but none of it made sense, when he looked up he saw a stretcher with a body bag on it. He quickly put his head back down, "No…no! This is not happening!" He whimpered as the tears began to make their way to the surface.

"Elliot," he heard Kathy say in a soft tone, "Come here," she said trying to lift him up and embrace him. But he didn't move. He just stayed there, in complete and total shock. He didn't want his wife, he wanted Olivia, he had always wanted Olivia, and now he was never going to get that chance...

What seemed like minutes later Elliot finally spoke, "I need more time, I just needed more time," he said as he rocked his body back and forth. If he just had more time he would tell her everything, that he was in love with her, and wanted to marry her, God, he even wanted to have her children. Hidden feelings rose to the surface and there was no way to stop it. He felt every part of his body break, his heart, his soul, everything.

"Elliot!" He heard a mans voice come from over the crowd.

It was Cragen, he was walking over towards them, and "We were supposed to watch the game together." Elliot simply told him.

"Elliot, what are you doing just standing here?" Cragen asked in a stern tone, ignoring his Detective's current state of crazy. Elliot opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, just a bunch of jibber jabber that no one could make sense of. Kathy and Cragen looked at each other with concerned looks.

"Elliot, I need you to accompany Liv to the hospital." He heard Cragen say.

Elliot shook his head, "What? I can't---I can't see her like that." Elliot said. The mere thought made him sick to his stomach. How could Cragen even ask for such a thing? Elliot looked at Kathy and shook his head again, "What?" he merely said again. He felt like he was in an alternate state of reality, what the fuck was going on? Why was Cragen ok? Why wasn't he crying?

"Elliot, what are you talking about? You know how stubborn she is. She will never go unless you convince her."

He picked up his head to look at Cragen; however saw her --- Olivia, alive and well. His feet unconsciously started walking over towards her leaving Cragen and Kathy in his dust. Amongst the noise of the sirens still going off, and the people talking trying to figure out what happened, the only sound he heard was that of his beating heart and his shoes as they hit the pavement. She was standing by the back of an ambulance while one of the medics was undoing her blouse. What the hell sort of nightmare is this!? Elliot thought he watched the young medic pull off Olivia's shirt. Elliot knew it was wrong but he couldn't turn away. He watched in confusion as the medic took off the shirt only to reveal a black vest.

She was wearing a vest!

"Olivia!" He shouted breaking into a run, "OLIVIA!" He said even louder he said now dodging his way through the crowd, "Olivia!" He said again when he was in ear shot of her.

"Oh hey," she said turning towards Elliot with a smile on her face, "I'm fine. I'm not going to the hospital." She said in defense. She saw the Captain go and talk to Elliot. She was no fool, Olivia Benson, no fool at all.

If it was any other situation, he would have smiled at her and said, 'You know us too well, Liv.' But he didn't. He needed one thing and one thing only, he needed to touch her, feel her, feel her breath, feel her heart pound against his. When he was finally in reach of her, he pulled her into his arms and suffocated her.

"Elliot, your crushing me! What is going on with you?" She asked but allowed Elliot to completely take complete control of her body.

"I thought---I thought. Oh God Olivia!" He said as he pulled away from her so he could look at her beautiful face, "I saw you go down. I. saw. You. Go. Down." He said this time more slowly and drawn out. Her lips formed a perfect 'o'. She got it now, he thought she died.

"El, I'm fine really." She said trying not to make a big deal about it.

"Don't ever do that again!" He said loudly as he pulled her back into a hug, "God, Olivia! Please don't ever do that again! You scared me, Liv. I couldn't get there, I couldn't get there," He pulled her back again and touched her face frantically, he ran his hands over her shoulders and arms; he was frantic as he searched for some sort of open wound.

"Elliot, I'm fine." She said again as she felt his hands come to rest on her hips. She looked around at the audience that was forming around them, but she quickly forgot when she met Elliot's blue eyes filled with tears.

"I thought I lost you!" He said as the tears streamed down his face, "I couldn't take it, Liv. I couldn't take it." He said pulling her into another bear hug. He closed his eyes tightly and took in the smell of her hair, "I can't lose you," He whispered, "I thought you…died, Olivia... DIED! And I wasn't there and…and I never told you," He pulled her back from the hug and looked into her now emotional eyes, "I love you."

He released a breath that he was holding for the past eight years. But talk about bad timing. He opened his eyes only to be met with the sulking eyes of Kathy to his left, and Cragen's disappointing ones to the right.

"Elliot, I think you should take your family home instead." He heard Cragen order. He looked down at Olivia who looked like she had been hit by a truck. He slowly stepped away but left his hands on her hips until he was too far back to reach.

"I'm going to drive," Elliot heard Maureen tell her mother, "He's still shaking like a leaf…" When he didn't hear Kathy respond or protest he knew that she was holding back her sobs. Her husband had just announced her love for another woman; he couldn't imagine she was feeling her best right now.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia took the icepack off her stomach; she looked down at the dark purple mass on her abdomen and moaned. It hurt like a sonofabitch, but she would survive. She placed the ice pack on the coffee table and struggled to sit up. She managed to walk towards the fridge and grabbed herself a beer.

She walked back into the living room when she heard the knock on the door. She turned around and slowly opened it. No need to look through the keyhole, she knew who it was. He stood there looking like someone had taken the life out of him, "Elliot," she said softly, sympathetically.

He didn't say anything as he took a few steps into her apartment. She took the beer she just opened and handed it to him. He pushed it away onto the counter, and grabbed her hips firmly and she looked at him in shock and confusion. He pulled her body closer to him and exhaled. He took every ounce of courage he had in his body and crashed his lips into hers. He could only hear the sound of his pounding heart against his chest, and he was so fucking scared of what she might do he could have fallen into cardiac arrest.

But when he felt her lips press up against his, moving, wet, firmly, he let go of those fears. She was kissing him back. She pressed him into the counter and cupped his jaw with her hands. He squeezed her hips firmly and gently pushed her lips open with his tongue. The whole world was silent except for the lip smacking of two Detectives forced to deal with 8 years of pent up sexual tension, 8 years of wondering 'what if', 8 years of Partnership.

He was the first to pull away, "I thought I lost you forever," he whispered as he ran his hand through her hair, "My heart died, Olivia. It shattered and I knew I was never going to be the same."

"I didn't---" she began.

"I know, but things will never be the same, Olivia. Those things that I said--"

"Look, Elliot. I understand, you were scared---you didn't know what you were doing. It's ok---really I know you didn't mean them." Olivia said disappointedly. Took good to be true, she thought.

He grabbed her firmly, "No. I meant every word Olivia. That's the thing. I just publicly announced my feelings that I have stored away for 8 years Olivia! In front of my wife and Captain no less!!" Elliot said and let out a euphoric laugh, "I have been too chicken shit to tell you, but today…Liv when I thought that you---I prayed to God, I prayed for just 1 minute to get to tell you how I felt---"

He was cut off by Olivia's firm lips crashing deep onto his. She pressed her body so damn close to his that she almost knocked him off his feet. He didn't let her have control for long, he needed her, he needed to feel her, everywhere. His hands wondered along the forbidden territory, and he knew that once he got a taste, it would never be enough. They broke apart from lack of oxygen, "I can't go back Olivia. To before, now that everything is on the surface, I won't do it. It took me 8 years to get it out, and I'll be damned if I have to hold them back in."

"What about your wife? What about our jobs? What about the baby?" She questioned.

"Kathy knows, Olivia. Even without hearing me say it, today. We tried, I tried Liv, but I can't love her, because I'm in love with you," he said as he wiped away the tears from her eyes. "And as far as Cragen goes, I'll quit, I'll transfer, I don't care I just want to be with you." He said not giving her a chance to respond because he placed his lips against hers.

"This is crazy," She said pulling him closer to her body.

"No. Almost losing you was crazy, not dealing with our feelings was crazy, this is right." He said as he backed her into counter and lifted her up on it. She spread her legs and Elliot fit perfectly in-between them. He kissed her along her neck and when he heard her moan, he felt the blood pulse through his body, and his pants begin to get tight.

He was about to lift her off the counter and take her into her bedroom when they both heard the loud thud on Olivia's door. "Liv, its Don." They heard him say through the door.

They looked at each other like a deer in headlights, "Hide, my bedroom. GO!" She said as she composed herself and walked towards the door. She wiped her throbbing, swollen lips and ran her fingers through her hair. "Hey," she said as she allowed Don into her apartment.

"That was quite the scene today."

Olivia didn't know if he was talking about the shooting or Elliot, she assumed both, "Yeah." She said as she picked up the beer from the counter and pounded it.

Don laughed, "You gave Elliot one hell of a scare." Not knowing what to say she just shrugged, "I'm actually surprised he isn't here." Olivia unconsciously looked at her bedroom door and when she saw Don's face she must have turned 100 shades of red, "Oh." He said as he realized what Olivia didn't say…

"Captain---its not--"

"Save it, Olivia. I didn't see anything…or anyone. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Take tomorrow off, and tell Elliot the same…when you see him of course," he said and turned to walk out, "I'm not surprised, you know."

Olivia just stood there with her mouth open. She stood frozen as Don walked out of her apartment. She locked the door behind him and turned towards her bedroom door. When she opened the door the sight before her almost killed her. Elliot was sitting on her bed with his hands in his face. His shoulders were shaking just enough to let her know that he was crying.

"Elliot," she said softly as she made her way to the bed and sat down beside him. He leaned into her and she placed her arms around him. His head nuzzled on her shoulders as she rubbed circles on his back.

"It was such a reality check, you know?" He said not lifting his head up. "Those few seconds---God…my heart literally stopped." He lifted his head up and turned to look at her, "I don't know what I would do with out you Liv. You mean so much to me, you have no idea. I just kept thinking about how I never got to tell you, all those missed opportunities, all those times I chickened out, and I wanted to just kick myself."

She laced her hand in his, "But I didn't die, and you did tell me."

Elliot looked at her and smiled, "I got my second chance, and I wasn't going to blow it." He said cupping her jaw in his rough hand. He placed his lips softly on hers and just held it there for a moment or two. It was Olivia who opened her mouth needing to taste him again. She softly pushed him on the bed, taking him with her, there lips never breaking contact.

Elliot's hands roamed up the sided of Olivia, and as he moved them he unintentionally took her shirt with them too. He looked down to fix it and apologize, however the puffy dark purplish bruise stared up at him, taunting him almost. He looked at Olivia and then back down at the mark that was to change their lives forever. He rubbed his finger over the mark and then looked back at Olivia for approval, when she smiled at him he lowered his head so that his lips brushed over the mark ever so lightly.

Olivia watched as she felt the warmth from Elliot's lips on her body. He placed a few chaste kisses on it before he moved them up towards her neck. He kissed lightly around her jaw line, and around her ear, "It was just so real---" He whispered into her ear, still unable to let it go that he almost lost his best friend.

Olivia placed her hands upon Elliot's and brought them down from her face and placed them over her heart. She held their hands there for a moment or two, "You feel that El? Still ticking," she said as she placed her lips on his, "This is going to change everything, you know." She looked up at him, she needed to know that he wasn't going to regret this come the morning, "Look El, you've just had a really bad scare, I mean you thought you lost your Partner, it was quite the emotional day…"

Elliot butted in, "What are you trying to say, Liv?"

Olivia took a deep breath, "I'm saying that I don't want you to wake up tomorrow and regret this."

"No, never. Are you kidding? Olivia I have waited for this day for 8 years. 8 years, Liv." He crashed his lips into hers and wasted no time opening her mouth to his, "Never Olivia, I could never regret this."

Olivia smiled, "Me either. Thank God, for second chances, huh?"

She felt him smile through the kiss and she rolled them over so that she was straddling his hips, she placed her hands on his belt buckle and couldn't help but giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"Huh? Oh nothing," as she dropped her head and giggled again.

"Olivia Benson, you're giggling…"

She looked up at him, her pearly whites glowing, "It's just…do you know how many times I have wanted to get you in this exact position?"

Elliot felt his pants tighten immediately and he smiled, "This is not going to last that long if you keep talking to me like that," he said as he shifted his body under her. She immediately felt his length against her thigh and she smiled with pride when got to know first hand how big he actually was.

She lowered her head and whispered into his ear, "This is going to last forever."

That night they made love over and over until complete exhaustion swept over both of them. Elliot and Olivia fucked each other relentlessly, bodies crashed, nails dug, and teeth bit. Olivia's bedroom looked liked a hurricane wiped through it the next morning. Everything on her dresser was now scattered on the floor from when Elliot had her pinned on her to it sometime during the night. She had frames on the wall that were now in pieces on her floor from when they tried it standing up. All her work clothes and dresses were now on the floor, from when they did it in closet. And her bed, well, the sheets weren't exactly made up, and the comforter…where did the comforter go?

Lucky for them they had the next day to rest, because not one of them got a wink of sleep the night before. However, they couldn't seem to keep their hands off of each other, and their entire day off was spent making love over and over.

The next day when they returned to work, they both looked like hell. Both had dark circles under their eyes, and Olivia could barely walk. Cragen took one look at them and sent them home.

Mistaking there sleep deprived states as being severely depressed Cragen though they must have not been able to work things out. I bet Elliot went back to Kathy, he thought.

Olivia and Elliot laughed the whole way back to her apartment, where they repeated last night's events over and over yet again. If Olivia thought she couldn't walk before, she didn't know how she was going to walk now!

The next day they walked into the station house, looking even worse then they had the day before, Cragen ordered them home again. When the arrived back at Olivia's place they laughed again, but when they got into bed this time Olivia was the first to speak out, "Elliot?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we just sleep?" She asked.

"God I fucking love you!" He said pulling his body tightly to hers and kissed the back of her neck, "I'm so tired, I don't think I even have enough energy to try and satisfy you."

Olivia let out a laughed and covered her arms over Elliot's, "I fucking love you too."

"Cragen thinks I went back to Kathy and that is why we have looked so, "depressed" the past few days," he said holding back a few chuckles.

Olivia smiled and snuggled up closer to Elliot, "Well what he doesn't know won't kill him." She said while yawning.

"My thoughts exactly," Elliot said and kissed the back of her head, "Olivia?" Elliot asked his voice turning serious.

"Yeah, El?" Olivia asked nervously.

"Where's your comforter?"