Scene 3: Drift
"Lucina?"
When she turned her head, her vision was filled with the clutter of shelves, glitter, souvenirs and hues of blue, with the midnight-haired Other Anna standing in the midst of it all.
"Can I help you look for anything?" the merchant asked.
"No, thank you. I've found what I was looking for already." In Lucina's hand she held a tiny wooden replica of her father. It wasn't a perfect likeness, but it was close enough that looking at it put a smile on her face. The little figure had caught her heart the moment she spotted it sitting in the window of the souvenir shop. She hadn't been able to resist slipping away from the battlefield to rush in here and obtain it. "I've found more than I was planning, actually. This is definitely enough." In her other hand she held a replica of the mask she used to wear – another gem that had attracted her at once.
"Hmm." Anna's index finger tapped thoughtfully at her face. "Are you sure I can't interest you in anything else? It's not every day that one gets to take a trip to the Bathrealm, after all. Who knows when you Shepherds will ever visit again?"
"Thanks, but these are all the souvenirs I need. Besides, I must return to the fight. I cleared the pack of Risen in front of the shop but they might have renewed their efforts by now. I can't leave my allies hanging."
It continued to amaze Lucina, how Anna seemed so undisturbed by the swarm of Risen that had ambushed the hot springs just now. Anna did mention that she was used to wild animals showing up, so perhaps this situation felt similar to her. Or maybe she was just very confident in the Shepherds' ability to dispatch the threat. In that case, it was quite flattering. "All right then . . . oh, but are you sure you wouldn't like this headband? It'd look great with that splendid blue hair of yours!"
When Lucina finally managed to get out of the shop, she hit the ground running, having caught sight of a new Risen right away. She drew her sword as she sprinted up the rocky slope, slashing the creature in half as soon as she was close enough.
While the downed Risen disappeared into smoke, Lucina scanned the scenery before her. Coming to the shop had taken her to high ground; she now stood on a rocky cliff that overlooked the collection of hot springs. Below, the ground was dotted with Shepherds and Risen, clustered into small match-ups. It was heartening to see that her allies were having little trouble fending off the enemies. This battle should be over with easily.
Lucina's eye was so accustomed to searching for Morgan's ever-present black coat that she was surprised when it took her a few minutes to find him. He was, unexpectedly, wading in one of the pools of water instead of standing on the rocky ground. And that figure next to him – Inigo. That had to be Inigo, with that vivid hair color. Really now, were they trying to enjoy the springs before the fight was even over? And why were they in the water with all their clothes on?
It felt as though a hammer had beat her heart – the moment she realized that the way they floated in the pool looked entirely too motionless.
Her first instinct was to run to them, but her own thoughts leapt in to stop her. No. What are you going to do? You're not a healer. So she raced down to the spring-grounds, and against her heart's desire, she moved in a direction away from the two of them. Towards everyone else. Pure instinct and adrenaline fueled her as she hurried here, there, screaming the names of healers and gesturing toward Morgan and Inigo's general direction.
She noticed some movement – colors and shapes heading toward where she had pointed. Good. But dear Gods, she was still in such a panic. Thousands of battles and thousands of scrapes with death had not readied her soul for this. Inigo was one of her friends and Morgan – everything. The thought of them possibly being gone was intolerable!
She couldn't go to see them just yet. A fresh pack of Risen sprang up out of nowhere, surrounding her quickly, so she had to stay where she was, just her and her sword hacking their way out of the dense crush. Her body moved on its own. Her mind was nowhere. Fear had carried it off somewhere indefinable.
Everywhere in her vision filled up with black smoke as Risen after Risen fell to her blade and – finally – the crowd thinned. A few times she noticed a Risen suddenly collapsing without her intervention. An arrow one time, a swift fireball another. Of course, there were other Shepherds around. She would see them clearly as soon as she finished panicking.
All this fighting, she thought, all this teamwork and effort would mean so little if even a single one of them didn't make it to the end alive.
The immediate area was cleared. It could've taken years, for all she knew. It had felt like forever. A wave of disorientation came and passed, and then her feet were taking her to the place where she'd spotted Morgan and Inigo. That particular pool had to be this way . . .
Several people were already gathered by the time she arrived. Morgan was there, in the center of them all. Inigo, next to him. Their clothes were wet from the spring, but they were both sitting up, eyes open. Alive. The relief nearly stole the breath from Lucina.
Morgan was rubbing his head sheepishly. "Okay, so it turns out that Operation Play-Dead-in-the-Hot-Springs wasn't such a perfect plan after all," he explained to the little crowd around him. "I thought that the Risen would find us before our allies did."
Among the allies present were Brady and his mother, who both looked disgruntled, their hands holding healing staves that had spent energy on trying to cure the uninjured. Brady seemed unsure whether to change his face into a smile or an even deeper frown when Inigo turned to him: "Oh, but thank you for the really motivated healing! Although, it turns out that having a bunch of healing spells cast on you when you're not hurt actually makes a guy kind of nauseated. You learn something new every day, huh?"
Both his parents knelt on the stony ground, huddled around him. Their eyes seemed tired. Perhaps Inigo was also more drained than he appeared, since he sat leaning against his father's sturdy figure.
It seemed that Inigo's father mumbled something then, but Lucina couldn't quite make out the words. She stood just a bit too far away. Nobody in the group had spotted her yet, as she had hung back amongst the stones and red-leaf trees, hesitant to join this familial scene. Besides, they were all so focused on each other.
"Yes, I'm sorry, Father," Inigo replied seriously. "I really didn't mean to cause you all so much worry."
"It was more of my fault," Morgan chimed in, "since I was the one who thought up that ruse."
"Sure, but I went along with it."
"You didn't truly think it was a great idea, did you? I think you only went along with me because you were worried I was upset, after I questioned if you were trying to hit on my mother."
"What?" Up until now, Morgan's father had been sitting still, his face pale, as if he was still getting over the shock of seeing his boy presumably dead. Lucina had taken note of that face, and thought to herself that she'd never seen him look that spooked in all the years she'd known him. But apparently Morgan's comment now jolted him into a revival.
Inigo chuckled at him, in a way that meant he was trying to put out a fire before it started. "Nothing to worry about. I'm not after your wife. I said I wanted to help Robin with her work and I ended up getting misinterpreted by your son, but I honestly meant nothing beyond that."
In fact, it was Robin's appearance that had struck Lucina the most, almost immediately upon arrival, to the point that it was still a bit hard to look at her. There existed a deeply painful element in seeing the master tactician, famed for her severe intelligence and cool head, suddenly looking so small in her large black coat. She sat next to her son, leaning into him. Her arms had been wrapped around his body all this time, as if she wanted to hold onto his very life, using her embrace to keep it from flying away. And those puffy eyes – had she been crying just moments before?
Since Lucina came to the scene, Robin had not said anything, but she didn't need to. Just looking at the other woman's flushed face gave Lucina a very good sense of her earlier fear.
Lucina had been scared as well, but watching the way that Morgan and Inigo's parents fussed over them now made her feel that she'd unthinkingly overstepped a boundary by worrying so much. She turned shy, and her feet began shuffling back, to leave these families alone. In her heart she wanted to join the group and give out warm embraces of her own, but if she did, no doubt she'd only end up feeling out of place.
The vivid leaves from the trees rustled in a breeze, as quiet as her retreat.
Much later, when the battle was solidly won and night painted the sky, the Shepherds retired to the lodgings that Anna provided them. What had looked to be a rather small hut from afar had turned out to contain a surprising amount of space, with all the rooms stuffed into the structure in such an economic fashion that the building itself almost seemed to be bragging about it.
Lucina wasn't sure how late it was. Probably too late to still have a lantern burning in the corner of her room, but if she couldn't sleep anyway, then why not enjoy a bit of light? Maybe some people wouldn't see much of a difference between lying awake in the dark and lying awake in a dim orange glow, but she could appreciate it. A lit lantern was like a little friend who soothed and signaled peace.
A mild knock came on the door.
How startling, that someone would still be awake at this hour. Lucina got up and opened the door.
"Lady Olivia?" Lucina said upon seeing who was there. She almost blurted out "Lady Inigo's mother" but caught herself just in time.
The pink-haired woman stood with her shoulders hunched as usual. Inigo often mentioned that he was actually shyer than his mother, but Lucina found that hard to believe. "Um, hello. Is this a bad time to visit? I was just walking by and noticed you had a light on in your room, and I was meaning to speak to you anyway. But I would understand if this is a bad time."
"It's not a bad time. I'm going to be awake for a while, I think." Lucina invited her into the room, where they both comfortably sat down.
"I might be awake for a while too," Olivia commented. "There's no reason in particular; I guess I can just be a night owl sometimes." She blushed suddenly. "Oh, but this isn't really what I came here to talk to you about. I'm rambling, aren't I?"
"I don't mind. Talk all you like."
"How nice of you. Well . . ." She lowered her head and fidgeted a few moments before speaking again. "I wanted to say thank you. You called for help when you found the boys in the water. You reacted so quickly, Maribelle and her son were able to reach them in a flash."
Lucina rubbed her head in puzzled sheepishness. "Um, thank you. But you know I didn't really save them, right? Inigo and Morgan were only pretending to be hurt to trick the Risen."
"Yes, I know. But it's the thought that counts. Just seeing the way you stormed onto the field and shouted like a madwoman for the healers, was amazing. I felt shocked and moved at the same time!"
Had Lucina actually looked that wild? Her face began to heat up, and for a second she wondered how visible the red would be in the lamplight.
Olivia's smile, however, was beaming with sweetness. "I just wanted to say: it's wonderful, Lucina. It's wonderful to know that someone cares so much."
They chatted for a while, but their sentences remained brief after that point. At first Lucina thought that Olivia must be a difficult person to talk to, with her flighty shyness. Eventually, though, Lucina realized that it was she, herself, who was being difficult. Her mind felt uneasy with this scene, and so it kept wandering away.
After a while, Olivia said she was going back to her room to sleep, so they said their good-byes and the other woman exited. Lucina was left alone once more.
She lay down again, shut her eyes, sighed, and let the thoughts swirl around her head.
Olivia had a kind soul. Hearing her words of appreciation had truly made Lucina happy. Ever since she joined her father's army, the Shepherds had been so friendly with her, and done so much to make her feel like she belonged. Even with the unknown future looming ahead, moments of companionship like this visit helped tremendously with lifting her depressed spirits. It was just too bad that she wouldn't always have this group of friends.
She opened her eyes again so that she could look at the two souvenirs she'd placed on the tiny bedside stand. The mask and the figurine of her beloved father. It was feeble sentimentality that had driven her to purchase those two pieces, knowing that one day, they would be all she would have to help her remember this fleeting time with the Shepherds.
She'd made the mistake, once, of telling her father that she intended to disappear after the war ended. He had despaired at the thought of losing her and insisted that she stayed. He and her mother both needed their daughter, he said. Don't go.
Seeing him upset had shaken Lucina so much that she agreed, and promised she would stay. She just wanted to cheer him up. She just wanted to return the smile to his face. To this day, he still believed that she was going to keep her promise. She never told him otherwise. And she never mentioned her plans to anyone else.
It was really going to hurt, when the day came that she would break her promise and sneak away from his side anyway.
But that was how it had to be. No matter what her loving, foolish, idealistic father said on the issue, the truth was that Lucina didn't belong in this era. She had known that from the start. The only Lucina that was meant to be in this time was the baby girl back at the castle. The girl who was her, but not truly her.
Without question, once their mission was complete, Lucina was going to leave.
Quick pain shot through her heart. She pressed her fists to her chest in a futile effort to suppress it. Hang on, she told herself. The hard part had not even arrived yet. Don't fall apart now. Ah, it felt bad, it felt so terrible to keep this secret to herself, but surely she could handle it. She'd been in half a panic ever since she arrived in this unfamiliar era, but she'd been controlling it all along in order to remain strong. Robin even commented earlier that she never noticed how great Lucina's fears really were. That was good. She wanted to be good at hiding that sort of thing.
Hiding one more thing really should not be so difficult.
And yet – while staring at the two wood figures, she saw that they looked ready to splinter at any moment. The steam from the springs can't have been kind to them. Or maybe they were fine, and they only looked flimsy in comparison to the weighty job she was trying to impose on them.
She was accustomed to feeling that she belonged nowhere, but all of sudden, that sensation was crushing her much more strongly than normal. She shut her eyes. Breathe, she reminded herself, and perhaps try to get some sleep. Get away from these thoughts.
The words jumped into her mind, completely unbidden: He is a time-traveler too. Maybe when I disappear, he'll be willing to come with me.
She was used to belonging nowhere, but she wanted to belong with him. And unlike with her parents, perhaps a life with him would actually work. Besides which, if she was really honest with herself, she knew that after seeing his apparently lifeless body in the water today, there was no way she could live without him. Not if there existed a spark of hope for living with him.
Possessed with new energy, Lucina got up and exited her room to head toward Morgan's. She hesitated to approach him earlier today, when she saw his family around him, but now she felt as though she had the right to seek him out. Why not? She loved him. She wanted to visit his room and be with him in this moment.
And she wanted to stay with him forever.