A/N: I've just gotten back into the swing of things for this story, but between Dokuga and FF, there seems to be a debate on whether or not Sesshomaru has truly been held responsible for his actions and if Kagome is entirely to blame for what happened in the past when he cheated on her. To answer both questions, (without having half the chapter be author's notes) they have been placed in the next chapter. Anyway, the story is still coming to an end soon, enjoy. - Theores
Chapter 33: Quest for Madness
"Kagome, how long have you been working?"
She hummed to herself while she considered the question. "When did you go to patrol the Eastern borders?" She finally reiterated barely sparing Sesshomaru a glance. Her focus was completely on one of the many scrolls in front of her, her hands nearly splintering the wooden table upon which they sat.
He frowned. "I went out on patrol four days ago."
Silently nodding in understanding, the demoness grabbed a reed pen and began to write, all the while ignoring the demon who was eyeing her with great concern. He had hoped she wouldn't exhaust herself in his absence, his father and mother not caring that what he now duped her madness binges were hazardous to her health. "Have you even eaten in the last four days?"
She gestured to a half eaten bowl of rice and now ice cold cup of green tea behind her in response, her attention remaining on her work.
"Kagome," Sesshomaru said, irritated. "I think you should take a break."
"I'll do it later."
"No, now." Reaching out to place his hand over the scroll she was reading forced her head up to look at him, revealing to the dog demon how severe her exhaustion was.
Kagome's eyes were considerably dulled from their normal cerulean hue, the deep black circles underneath telling him that she was fighting off sleep. Irritated at her refusal to take care of herself Sesshomaru let out a small provoked growl, causing the demoness to jump at the unexpected sound.
"Kagome….."
She peered at him through watery eyes. "I'm so close to solving it." Letting out a whine, the demoness gently tried to move his hand off the scroll. "I can't rest, not now." Sesshomaru's hand attempting to pull her to him generated resistance and when a warning growl didn't serve to gain her compliance, a vocal complaint made her fall into his arms. "Sess, please…."
"Stop fighting me." He ordered, going under her shirt to gently rub her back. Staring at the multiple works she'd acquired during her research spree, Sesshomaru shook his head. "I've told you multiple times that you need to slow down. You are trying to do the impossible."
"It's not impossible," She tried to snarl, though her voice was hoarse from her recent underuse. "I can figure it out…." She said, much quieter than before, tears of frustration starting to leak from her eyes.
Stroking her hair with his opposite hand, Sesshomaru once again told to her the words she always refused to hear. "You can't bring Rin back Kagome…."
"I know that!" She sobbed out, gripping the front of his shirt with her clawed hands. "But I can bring back someone else, someone who deserves a second chance at life."
"Death is imminent…..At some point we all must face it. Your failures at restoring life are not your own, it was not meant to happen."
"But….I…" The gentle stroking movements on her back was making her sleepy and sniffing Sesshomaru, took in his scent which made her instincts relax. "I can't…." Her legs which had been shaking for the last day at last collapsed beneath her and immediately she was being held bridal style by her lover who began scenting his female to detect anything other than exhaustion. But she knew she wasn't sick, just tired.
Sensing that she was fine otherwise, Sesshomaru carried her away from her desk and to her bed a few steps away, placing her on the soft silk sheets and undressing her body which was trembling under his touch. "Don't fall asleep yet," He told her, wrapping her in the covers. "I will bring you food first."
"Can we have sex?" She suddenly asked, lifting up so that her chest was exposed.
Sweeping her hair out of her face, Sesshomaru grinned at her request. "Pervert."
She huffed at his answer. "You ask for it more than I do." She pouted, diving back under the covers.
He lightly rubbed the top of her head, the only part of her body that was now disappointedly showing. "Only because you insist on coming onto me so seductively."
"I don't seduce you that much!"
"Really? It wasn't you I found naked in my bed the night before I went out on patrol?" He lightly teased, happy that her personality was returning.
"You could have easily kicked me out."
"The first thing you did was slip your hand inside my hakama….It would have been dangerous to for me to move with such a sensitive appendage so close to your claws."
"If you don't want to do it, just say so…."
"I never said I didn't want you." Sesshomaru said in a low voice, making Kagome tremble for an entirely different reason. "However," He clarified, standing up to his full height. "I would prefer you to be well rested before we engage in such activities."
"I would sleep better if we did it now rather than later….." She mumbled, "It can be quick…." She added, appearing disappointed when he shook his head in refusal.
He maintained his position. "Sleep first, Sex later." Heading for door intent on getting her the nourishment she required, Sesshomaru stopped when Kagome softly called his name. "What?"
"I want bean paste with fried tempura tendons, three sticks of Yakiniku and rice with onions."
Snorting at her new request the dog demon nodded and left to fetch her food, his mind at ease that Kagome was fine.
But unbeknownst to him, the second she no longer felt his presence a look of pure dejection crossed the demonesses face, her tears returning once she glanced back at her desk, loaded with the books she poured over in her failing quest at restoring life.