-VEGA
Yesterday was great I am so happy that things are clear between me and jade now. I even said that Trina's wearing a gorgeous shirt this morning even though the shirt makes her look kind of fat. I don't know why I said that maybe because I am so happy. 'Look out world! I am ready for school!' Ok I sound like an immature 5-year-old who's going to school for the first time.
Moving on, I am currently taking out my books from my locker when I noticed that Beck, Robbie, Andre, and Cat are staring at me. Why? They were staring at me intently and they're not saying anything. There mouths are half open too. Seriously? What's the deal?
"Um you guys, Im not going to melt you know. And you might catch some flies so close your mouths" I told them, "Tori are you sure you're ok? Have you gone to any one of your doctors? I can call my brother's doctor for you, he's a psychiatrist" the perky little redhead suggested but I only gave her a pat on the head, "I told you guys that im fine. And I only have one doctor Cat" I replied. "My brother said the same thing to me before eating my charm bracelet… He said he's fine… Are you going to eat my charm necklace?"
"We're really bothered about you Tori, the last time we checked you were always staring at your locker till you hear the bell ring and get to class. Now you're smiling like an idiot"
"Yeah and you even said Rex is cute this morning"
"Ain't that the truth?" the puppet spoke. "Well I always do that when I am overjoyed" I said but I don't think that they get it, "Overjoyed?" they asked," Um yeah Hahaha am I not allowed to be one?" the shook their heads. I smiled at them, "No… Actually we're happy for you but why are you overjoyed?"
"Let's just say that im not tired today and Trina and I didn't argue this morning. Let's got to class or else we're going to be late" I went inside sikowitz class which made me even happier cause this is my favorite class and sikowitz is my favorite teacher. It took a while for Andre, Robbie, Beck, and Cat to come inside the class but I can hear them talking to each other.
Andre: I think something's up with Tori
Robbie: Don't be silly let's just be happy that she's not spacing out anymore.
Cat: Yeah and she didn't ate my charm necklace
Robbie: When did you start wearing that thing?
Cat: Yesterday Ahahaha but I might not wear it again because Tori might eat it tomorrow if she totally goes insane.
Beck: You guys, sit down the class is starting.
These guys are so sweet and I appreciate their efforts to know what's going on with me. I know I am keeping secrets from them but I have to, I don't have any choice. It's difficult on my side not tell them because they're my friends but my problem involves them so I can't trust any one of them at the moment.
I looked around the class and Jade West is late again. Well sikowitz is already here and he asked where Jade is. Obviously none of us knows since she is late. But after a couple of minutes she arrived.
I will never get tired of looking at her from top to bottom. I can just stare at her all day and I don't care if she melts… She's the pure definition of dominance and bravery. She's so gorgeous.
"Jade… it's becoming your hobby to be late" the bald man motioned her to sit down and she gladly did, "Yeah well it's not my fault that the construction guys are out there fixing the road" she reasoned out, "Well why don't you try to wake up earlier so you can go to school earlier and not be late. What do you think?"
"No"
I know that Sikowitz doesn't like Jade that much because one, she's a gank like most of the time and two, she's not feminine. She acts like she's tougher than anyone else and I guess Sikowitz hates that kind of guts.
He continued teaching us about the other parts of the play. I listened attentively while stealing some glances on Jade. She looks so beautiful when she's paying attention. I've never seen her look so serious in my entire life maybe because I don't usually stare or look at her. Like why would I even do that? I hated her before.
My mind started to drift to outer space again as I think of the possible ways how to flirt with her. I am planning to court her even though I don't know if she'll return the same affection to me. There is a lot of risk… first of all I don't know if she's not straight, second of all she doesn't like me and third of all what if she still likes beck?
Am I willing to take all those risks to have Jade? I mean sure I know I was only having a crush on her but now it's not just a simple crush… Im falling! … Im cool with myself I accept myself for being gay. The only problem that I have is my parents, friends, and I don't know the people here in Hollywood Arts? Will they be able to accept me?
I heard the bell rang. It's time to shake off these thoughts out of my head and go back to the real world. I was about to go out of the door when I saw beck leaning beside it. What could he possibly want?
"Hi Beck" I greeted, "Hi Tori, So did your parents like your welcoming party?" he asked, "Oh well actually they told us that they wouldn't be able to come home yesterday just after I told you that they were coming. I know it sucks but they told me that they might be able to arrive here today or possibly tomorrow" I told him another lie and it seems like he believe in it, "Oh that blows, so I guess I can't drive you home today too huh?"
"Yeah im really sorry beck"
Im not saying sorry because he can't drive me home today, im saying sorry because I've been keeping secrets away from him and worse I am lying. It's not that I don't like beck, I told you that I do! But only as a good friend.
"No it's ok I understand, I mean of course they're your parents and they've been away from you and Trina for so long so you guys deserve to bond with each other even once in a while" he's so understanding, it would have been easier if I fall for him instead, "Thank you for being so understanding"
"Don't mention it. Shall we go to the asphalt café?"
"Be my guest Hahaha"
He laughed with me and we headed straight to the asphalt café. Our friends are waiting for us including Jade. I sat next to her it's a good thing that no ones sitting on her right side. Cause I really want to sit beside her.
"Hi Torii!" the perky little redhead greeted me, "Hey Cat what's up?" I asked, she's hyper as usual "Nothing it's just good to see you back again, the fun and cheery side of you"
"Well Hahaha you know me" I joked but I don't think that she gets it, "I do" I should have known that she'll take it seriously, "Anyway, what have you been up to lately?" I changed the subject because she went quiet for a while, "Nothing much im going to go to the bone museum again this Saturday night, you told me a few weeks ago that you might go there as well. Can you come with me?" she gave me her sweetest smile, how can I say no to that?
"Well I don't have any plans this Saturday night so I might" she squealed and hugged me as tight as she can, "Yay!"
"Can I come too little red?" Andre asked, "Sure! Why don't we all go? Beck? Robbie? Jade?" she asked all of our friends one by one and they seem to agree with her, "Sure! I love that museum" Robbie commented, "That museum is boring" but his puppet objected the idea, "Your puppet is so mean"
"I told you don't call him a puppet"
"Sounds like a plan" Beck jumped inside the conversation to stop Robbie and Cat from fighting, "Well what about you Jade?" I took a simple glance at her and she wasn't paying any attention at all, "What?"
"We're going to the bone museum this Saturday night, wanna come with us?"
"Yeah fine"
Jade is coming too? Oh my god why am I bothered? Stay calm keep cool it's just the bone museum, and the others are coming with us. "Oh but I don't have a car and Trina's going to her classmate's house this Saturday night for a sleepover"
"I can pick you up at your house" the canadian suggested, "That's nice but I wouldn't want you to go far just to fetch me at home, Jade can do it since our house is in the same direction" I turned him down because I wouldn't want to spend an awkward conversation with him, and I've been feeling a bit uncomfortable with him lately, "Yeah but its ok with me" why is he so persistent? "Jade has a car and her house is in the same direction with your house. It's a one way! So why don't you just go with her?" this is why I love Cat, "Thanks Beck but I wouldn't want to bother you that much, Jade will you pick me up?" she didn't look at me and continued playing with her salad, "Yeah whatever"
Jade's picking me up… SHE'S PICKING ME UP… JADE WEST IS GOING TO FETCH TORI VEGA AT HER HOUSE. Stay cool don't freak out she's just picking you up, chill… But I just can't!
"Tori are you ok? You're sweating, and you look pale" why must he interrupt my day dreaming process? "Nah im fine, it's just that its hot that's all"
I just got home and I can't stop thinking about this upcoming Saturday night. I know it's not that big of a deal, im just going to hang out with my friends and yes jade the girl of my dreams will be there. I shouldn't be bothered but oh my god why can't I stop thinking about it? im getting crazy because of her.
"Tori"
What should I wear? She likes black so im pretty sure that she'll be wearing black and she might not like it if I swear the same color that she's wearing but I want our outfits to match even just the color.
"Hey Tori"
If im not going to wear black then what alternative color should I wear? What about green? I saw her wore a green sweater once and it looked great on her. She can look good with any anything!
"TORI! Im calling you what's the matter with you?"
"What? WHAT?" I blurted, "I've been calling your name and you're not responding, seriously what is up with you?" I didn't notice that I wasn't alone in my room anymore. Trina looked at me with a weird expression on her face, "Oh well it's nothing I just got tired from school that's all" I reasoned out, "Don't lie to me I know you too damn well, I've been watching you and I can see your expression change in a second" she protested, "Well I just-"
"What's on your mind?"
Should I tell her? I mean she is my sister, but come on we all know that Trina and I argue most of the time so why should I trust her? 'Cause she won't probably care and you need to tell someone about your secret before you become insane' yeah and besides… I know that even Trina and I fight lot. She can keep secrets…
"Trina…" I calmly said, "Tori I know you, you're my sister… I know that we're always fighting and all but you can always count on me" her expression seems convincing not to add the fact that she doesn't sound like she's actually pushing me to tell something to her, "Promise you won't tell anyone about this?" I asked.
"Try me"
"Alright I like someone" she didn't seem shock by what I said, "Uh I think that's pretty normal because I like someone too" she snapped, "It's not just someone Trina" she rolled her eyes, "What do you mean it's not just someone? Is he famous? Or is he an alien? Is he extraordinary or something? Is he dead?"
"No it's not a he it's a she!" I explaimed, she look shock for a moment but she shrugged it off "Whoa wait what? I… Are you serious?" she asked almost sounding like a whisper, "Yeah no chizz" I replied. "Well holy cow, it is pretty serious…" she muttered, "Ready for the shocking part?"
"Well I said this to you earlier so try me"
"It was Jade…" her expression turned blank, so I can't really tell if she's shocked or ok with it but from the looks of it. I don't think that she took it well. I never thought that I'll be able to come out to her this way. I know that sooner or later she'll know about this but I just think that it's too soon. "Can you pinch me?" she asked, "What why?"
"Im trying so hard not to scream to you right now, Pinch me! I want to know if im dreaming" I rolled my eyes at her. I thought it was something more important, "No you're not and stop overacting"
"Im not it's just-"
We both heard the door open and it revealed Robbie standing outside looking straight into my eyes with blank expressions… What is he doing here? Could it be… "Ahh well I... I just... I'll just give you our project some...other time" he seems tensed I think he heard us, "Ro-Robbie I…" I don't really know what to say to him, it's really awkward. "What? Were you eavesdropping?" Trina asked.
"Well I was about to knock on the door since I want to ask some advice from you guys and im going to give Tori our science project but I heard that you we're talking to each other and I didn't want to interrupt you both but your voices are clear and loud so I can't help but to overhear your conversations… Don't worry Tori I promise I'll keep it as a secret"
"Well you better be or I'll kill your worthless puppet" Trina threaten him and he turned pale, "Hush hush its ok… But seriously Robbie this is really important and I trust you on this ok? Promise me you won't tell anyone… Promise me" I was pleading in front of him and he gave me a smile, "I promise I won't tell anyone"
"Thank you Robbie"
"Alright I want to know the details, I want to know everything" Trina interrupted our conversation, "Me too count me in! I want to hear everything too" Robbie said.
"Alright but close the door first and let's go to the kitchen"
They closed the door and followed me to the kitchen. I told them what's happening to me and why im acting different and I also told them what I feel towards jade and when it started. I know it's hard to believe right now but I have to admit that these guys made me feel a hundred times better because I already shared the things that kept bothering me.
"Why did you tell this to me just now?" she asked sounding rather pissed that I kept something this personal to her, "Because I wasn't really sure about my feelings!" I reasoned out, "Now that you are sure, what are you planning to do?" I didn't think that Robbie will be one of the first one to find out that I fell for Jade, "I don't know… How am I supposed to know?" I asked them, "Are you sure you're in love with Jade? Maybe you're just infatuated or challenged because she hates you" he explained, "Im pretty sure that im in love with her cause I did a research on Google and I got six out of ten… Besides Jade doesn't hate me anymore, we're friends now!"
"It doesn't look like it" he commented, "Why don't you try to pursue her?"
"What?" Robbie and I was shock to hear those words from Trina, "You heard me, why don't you try to pursue her?" she repeated it, "Jade and Beck already broke up so you might have a chance…" Robbie agreed with my sister but I don't think im considering it, "That's ridiculous! I can't do that!" I let out in a protest, "Well why?" she asked, "Because! … What if Jade still loves beck? What if she won't like me? What if our friends find out about this? Especially our parents Treen!"
"So you're just going to live with 'what if's?"
"You should take your chances. I mean what can you possibly lose?" Robbie added, "What can I possibly lose? I can lose jade forever, I can lose my friends and my parents might not accept me and my dignity in Hollywood arts is at stake! Can't you see? There's a lot of risk!" I exclaimed, "Are you willing to take all those risks for Jade?"
They both stared at me waiting for an answer. Am I? I mean my world revolves around Jade now. I can't focus properly when she's around me or close to me. I can't think straight she always cross my mind. She holds my happiness too. She's the only one who can make me feel so happy. She completes my day… I can't imagine her out of my life.
"Im willing to sacrifice everything for Jade…"
"Trina what are you doing? You're not helping!" I grunt, "Calm down Tori! You should be happy that im helping you dress up for Jade!" she yelled at me while trying to keep me still, "I can do it by myself!" I protested, "I know better than this now stay still and let me do all the work"
"Why do I have the feeling that I shouldn't be trusting you?" I asked but she just shrugged her shoulders, "Relax, let me do all the work and you just sit back and calm your chizz ok?"
I don't feel comfortable with Trina. I know she's a fabulous diva despite her devotion in fashion I still can't imagine her picking an outfit for me. She might do something crazy. TRINA'S NOT NORMAL and im scared. I don't want her to ruin this for me… This kind of event rarely happens.
Ding Dong Oh my god please tell me that's not jade… I looked at Trina and she's still fixing my top. Cheezus Crust spare me please. Trina took a step backward and looked at me. She told me to stand up and I did.
"You're all set!" she said after a couple of minutes she's finally done, "Can I look-"
"Tori your friend is here!" mom called me us downstairs, "You have no time for that now go! Im so excited for you! Break a leg!" she exclaimed, "Yikes…"
I went downstairs and I can feel my heartbeat beating faster and faster like any moment soon it will explode… I am so nervous, it's jade and I don't know how to act normal when im with her… not anymore! It's hard to contain.
I saw her sitting on the couch. Legs crossed and her arms crossed in her chest. She's wearing her red flannel and her usual black skirt together with her leggings and her combat boots. Dang it she looks gorgeous. I haven't seen her wear a red flannel again this maybe the third time.
"Let's go you kept me waiting" she didn't look at me and proceeded to the door, "Sorry..."
She went outside and she didn't even paid any attention to me. Why? Is it because of what im wearing? Oh my god I swear I'll kill Trina for this.
I followed her outside and she's already in her car waiting for me to hop in. Looks like she's not in a good mood tonight I went inside and she started the engine. We didn't talk along the way and it's really awkward…
"Can I turn on the radio?" I asked, "No"
"Please?"
"No, now shut up" I let out a pout, why is she being mean again? I thought we're in good terms, "Come on! Just turn it on and I won't talk I promise"
"Fine but im picking the station"
I nodded. She turned on the radio and chose the station… There are good songs on the radio tonight but unfortunately I don't think Jade likes any of them because she still hasn't picked one, "Come on pick already"
"Quiet im still looking for it" It's taking too long. Finally after a few more turns, she decided to stop and focus her attention on the road again. I am not familiar with this radio station, jade is full of mysteries…
I look at her and have to smile
As we go driving for a while
Her hair blowing in the open window of my car
And as we go the traffic lights
Watch them glimmer in her eyes
In the darkness of the evening
Ok… This song is really… awkward… I looked at Jade and she doesn't seem to mind the song. I guess she doesn't care. But still the song is so passionate and it fits the moment right now. It makes my heart flutter… If only Jade can feel the same way to me.