musical muses of this chapter:

b One Girl Revolution -- Superchick

This is For Real -- Motion City Soundtrack /b

Critical Acclaim -- Avenged Sevenfold

Sheila -- Jamie T

Skinny Mean Man -- Say Anything

yes, I DO have the craziest music tastes EVER.

Cassandra sat on the trunk of the car keeping a close eye on the kittens as they jumped and flipped in the air. Etcetera was among them. She was not a kitten by anyone's definition, but the kittens were so much better at forgiving things she'd done a year ago. Etcetera is almost a fully grown queen, but the queens still won't go near her. I know it's a jealous type of loathing, which I don't understand, seeing as I've gone after almost every queen in the tribe and it seems that the ones who are shunning Etci are the ones who didn't want me when they could've had me. This is the kind of hypocritical insanity that one will only get from a queen. A tom? Never. With toms it's short and to the point. No guess work.

It had been almost a year since my breakup with Misto and the incident with Etci. The Jellicle Ball was maybe two months ago, and seeing her mother be chosen by Old Deuteronomy really made Jemima grow up. She was welcomed by the queens into her adulthood, and I think it hurt Etci. She was older than Jemima, and yet Jemima was accepted by the elder females first? I think it really shoved some remorse into her proud little heart. That's what she was after she'd slept with me: proud.

The Jellicle Ball this year was an interesting ordeal. It was interesting because I showed up. No one really thought I would. Even after a year, the whole tribe still saw me as the villain. My father and brother really didn't mention me to anyone, and I sort of just did my own thing, almost completely alone. Time goes so much slower when passing it alone. I did make new friends though: Alonzo and Pouncival. They were proud of me. They called Etci my greatest conquest to date. I guess they wanted to be who I used to be. Alonzo mated with Cassandra though, soon after the Ball. They're good together. But anyway, the night of the Ball I got sick of being alone, sick of watching the tribe from afar. I'm a glutton for attention and god damn if I wasn't going to get it. I showed up at the worst time though: with Jenny was around. It's a miracle I'm still alive after that one. The only ones who seemed happy to see me at first were Etci and the kittens. Too excited, to the point where I had to shut her up. Everyone noticed and it didn't help my case. Misto got mean.

The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore.

A bore, am I? I showed him boring. He sure wasn't bored trying to play along with my magic act. I bet that tom still thinks he's magical to have brought my father back...

No one noticed me disappear after Old Deuteronomy was taken. I have a past with Macavity...and he owes me a favor. I know where he dens, so I went to him and made him give my father back. He agreed, but I got back to the junkyard just in time to see him fake out the entire tribe. There was downtime after he disappeared, so I went back and gave him hell. He agreed to bring Deuteronomy back through the pipe, but I asked him to give me ten minutes for a fake out of my own. I went back to the tribe and presented them with the magical Mr. Mistoffelees. The look on his face was amazing, but he took to his role oh so quickly. Everyone thought the flashes and smoke were so amazing; they'd so easily forgotten that the faulty electricity around the junkyard cause that to happen almost every night. I don't know what the point of it all was; maybe It was my last go at him. Shoving that last bit of Misto related energy out of my heart. I didn't care if he got the credit, at least I knew I'd rescued my father. In my head, I was redeemed.

I sat at one end of a group of toms, next to Pouncival, who was talking to Mungojerrie. The large group on Mungojerrie's other side separated me from Mistoffelees. He sat on the outskirts of the group, ever now and then glancing at me. His attention, however, was mostly devoted towards his new special friend Victoria. She is a year younger than Misto, and I'm sure she satisfies his immaturity quite nicely. I am a little annoyed. I didn't know Misto was like me: I thought I was the only one who could bounce back and forth between queens and toms. It was like Munkustrap had told me after the Etcetera incident.

"You don't care who you're getting it from, just as long as you're getting it." I guess Misto figured that if I could do it with Etci, then he could do it with whoever he wanted. And that's only fair. But he alone with the rest of the tribe (including Etci) still completely misunderstood what happened with her. I couldn't decide if I still loved Misto. I didn't blush when I saw him anymore, but his voice still sent shudders down my spine. I still missed him, and I still sometimes woke from dreams of him, wondering why he wasn't sleeping beside me. I wish I could say with confidence that I did not love him. I wish I could say that after a year I was able to get over him...but right now I'm just not sure. I shook myself from my thoughts to watch Bombalurina and Demeter pull two old badminton racquets from a rubbish box and use them to bat around a crushed soda can. It was a childlike game, but on a lazy Sunday morning, what else is there to do? My attention found focus on the tall scarlet queen: Bombalurina. She was absolutely gorgeous, and (I'd always thought) out of even my league. But I wondered if now would be as good a time as any to try her. But surely she must have a mate somewhere, a gorgeous queen like her? I looked at her to see if she gave anyone a special glance, but her eyes were concentrated on her game. I'd never really noticed her before...not like this. I checked around me to see if any other toms were staring at her, and sure enough I wasn't alone. Almost every unmated tom (and some already mated ones) were either staring at her, or trying not to. Well if we were all going to just sit there and stare at her then she was going to keep being hot and completely unattainable. Today it was my job to play the attainer. I leapt up without another thought and darted between Bombalurina and Demeter, grabbing the crushed can and jumping on top of the tire. Demeter shrugged and walked over to Cassandra. Bomba however, stamped indignantly over to the tire and stood there, claws out, staring up at me.

"Give it back Rum Tum Tugger." she muttered. I rolled my eyes and put a paw on my hip, tossing the can in the air with my other.

"Don't call me that, Bombalurina." I smirked. She took a step forward as if to start climbing the tire, and I took a step back. She gave me a low growl before pouncing up in front of me. I held the can behind my back and she darted to my left and right trying to get at it. She tried to run behind me but I spun in place. I was actually enjoying this. Out of breath finally, she gave me a disgruntled meow and shoved my chest. I laughed and she fell to all fours at my feet, looking up at me with a pout and a stare. I laughed again and went down on all fours myself. "You're too cute when you're angry." I said. I handed her the can. She looked at me for a moment before taking it, but her stare turned angry and she hurled the can at me...hard. It hit me square in the chest and actually knocked me onto my back. She crawled on top of me and stared at my face. I smiled at her. "You waste no time, do you?" I asked. She put her face right in front of mine and smirked at me. I wasn't complaining. I had every cat in the junkyard watching me working my charm on the hottest queen in the city. I gave her a quiet growl and she was off me in an instant. She stared at me from all fours and said

"I don't like you very much." She circled around to the other side of the tire, leaped down behind it, and started to walk away towards the sunrise. I tiptoed around the tire, feeling suddenly unclean to think that a year ago I was in there with Etci, and followed Bomba from a distance. Wow she looks great from behind. She glanced back at me every now and then and every time she did, I'd wave nonchalantly at her and smile with all my teeth. She'd roll her eyes and keep walking. Eventually I slipped into the shadows and when I wasn't there the next time she turned around, she purred contently and curled up on the ground, watching the sunrise. After a few minutes, I quietly walked up and sat down behind her. She didn't seem to notice me, so I just sat there and looked at the rising colors in the sky. It was a pretty sunrise; the sun was a red ball and there were long thin orange and blue clouds fanning out from every direction. It hurt to look at from being so bright, so I turned my attention to Bomba. The red light bounced off her shiny fur and she absolutely glowed. I tentatively ran a paw up her back and she twitched, but didn't move away. My hands returned to my knees and I sat for a moment before speaking.

"It's beautiful." I mused. She nodded.

"I like watching the sunrise. Something about how it changes the entire feeling of the air right before your eyes. Night into Day...it's amazing."

"Yeah...it is."

"So what are you doing here?"

"Talking to you."

"You hardly seem interested in talking."

"Oh don't I?"

"Well I'm curious as to why you're 'talking' to me. All out of kittens?"

"Hey, that's not funny."

"I'm not trying to be."

"She's not a kitten."

"So you defend it?"

"Yes well...no I mean...it wasn't the right thing to do. But she wasn't a kitten. That's not why it was wrong."

"You don't care who you're getting it with Tugger, just as long as you're getting it." she said those words with a certain smugness that just set me off.

"Where did you hear that?"

"Demeter."

"And she heard it from...?"

"Munkustrap."

"Bomba...what did Munkustrap tell Demeter?"

"That tom is whipped. He tells her everything."

"And so it gets passed on to you?" I asked indignantly. She smirked and shrugged.

"Munkustrap was so angry with you after that thing with Etcetera...but not so angry to leave out that you did it because you were hurt." she said quietly. My eyes glued themselves to the ground. I wished this conversation wasn't happening.

"Did he say why I was hurt?" I asked. She didn't speak. I finally looked up at her; she had taken a few steps closer to me. She made a few movements as if to put an arm on my shoulder, or touch my cheek, but she did none of these things.

"Yeah...yeah he did."

"What'd he say? Did he call me a faggot? Did he tell you I was a disgrace? Did he-"

"No." she interrupted. "He told us you were in love with Mistoffelees...and that you got yourself a rude awakening when you found out he'd used you the whole time." This time she made to touch my shoulder, but I took a step back. "Tugger I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound harsh about the Etcetera thing...It was wrong..."

"I don't want to hear about right and wrong." I muttered. She nodded.

"I get it." She made another attempt to hold me, and this time I let her. She draped her arms loosely around my shoulders and nuzzled my neck lightly.

"I'm different, you know." I said finally. "I'm not...the only thing on my mind isn't..."

"I know." she responded.
"That thing with Etci...it wasn't on purpose...it wasn't planned..."

"I get why you did it."
"Well that makes one of us. I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid. Well...okay maybe a little." she smirked at me. I couldn't help but smile back.

"That's not funny." I said, pulling away from her and placing my paws on my hips. She shrugged, that smirk staying on her face.

"Yeah it is." I pouted at her. It only made her laugh.

"Yeah? Well you dye your fur!" I accused. She stopped laughing.

"Well you shampoo your mane!" she shouted back. My jaw dropped. She chuckled and started to run. The look on her face wanted me to chase her. I did.

"You're a smug, obnoxious little queen!" I couldn't say it without a smile as I chased her scarlet form around the rubbish. My only hint that I hadn't lost her was that I could still hear her laughter just ahead of me. She was funny. I couldn't help but push her buttons a little. "You really are!" I added. I caught a glimpse of her, so I sped up.

"Well you're a big, arrogant, self-obsessed perverted tom!" she laughed back. She was starting to slow down a little, so I gave one last burst of speed and caught her around the waist, holding her to me.

"Got you!" I shouted triumphantly. She tried halfheartedly to get out of my grip, her whole body heaving for oxygen against my own front. We stood there for a minute, catching our breath.

"Okay, let me go." she said, pushing lightly against my paws.

"I don't thiiink sooo."

"Come on Tugger!" she giggled. She squirmed around in my grip and ended up turning to face me.

"Obnoxious." I joked.

"Perv!" she squealed, pushing my shoulder. She looked me right in the eyes, her paws on my shoulders, and mine on her waist. My smile went away.

"Beautiful." Her eyes fell, she blushed, and her smirk became more of a genuine smile.

"You're not so bad yourself." she said to the ground. I ran my paw from her hip, up her body and against her cheek before propping her head up to face me. She was ten times prettier when she wasn't trying to be. She let me hold her head up for a moment, and then my instinct took over my brain. I slowly leaned down and kissed her. Not a feverish, one-night-stand Misto kiss, not a sad and confused Etci kiss, but a real kiss: a soft, simple kiss. I barely even opened my mouth; but to my surprise, she tried to. But no, I liked Bombalurina. I wasn't going to let my bad habits destroy any chance I had with her. If I could control myself, I could make this work. I pulled away from her, and the smallest of involuntary laughs escaped my lips, as if it wanted to follow her.

"There's the Bomba I noticed at the Ball." she laughed a little and shook her head, looking up to face me.

"Let me guess," she said, "This is the part where I find out that this has all been a ploy to get me to come to your den tonight." The smirk returned to her face. I smiled at her, and then shook my head.

"No." I whispered. She shrugged and took a moment to look me up and down. She pulled away from me slowly, letting one paw slide down my chest before it returned to her own body.

"Too bad." she said simply, sizing me up again. She turned and slowly walked away, leaving me standing there like an idiot, slouching, with my jaw dropped. She gave me a backwards wave. "See you later Tugger." I didn't even have the mental capacity at that moment to respond. An aching in my groin urged me to follow her, but I rooted my feet to the spot, mentally bitchslapping myself to stay put. But it was hard...again, no pun intended.

God damn it, I'd met my match.