Chapter 8: Your Worshipfullness

"What are you two moon jockeys up to now?" asked Leia, who had been hiding around the corner the entire time since before their prank on Threepio.

"Oh my GODS what have you two been doing in here!", she said as she saw how completely filthy Han still was…and how filthy drunk they both were...or rather, Luke still was.

"Han! You didn't get a biohazard crew in here!? You did this yourself!?", exclaimed the Princess, her face fixed in what seemed to be a permanent scowl.

Why was it always directed at him?, Han wondered to himself for what seemed the hundredth time this week.

"AND, you made Luke do this too?!"

She looked over at Luke, who was now red in the face and still wearing Han's pants, the holster coming undone.

He was both embarrassed to be caught shirtless by the princess, but equally pleased with himself, knowing he looked good for a change. Who cares if she didn't like his goofy dance...there was more where that came from, he laughed inwardly.

Leia shook her head at him, but pursed her lips, covering a smile.

Luke turned and held up Threepio's arm to wave hello at her too. Leia had to laugh at him, looking so out-of-character in Han's too-tight pants, holding Threepio's arm up, now in a mock-salute to her.

"Oh my God, you two," said Leia, now calming down a bit. Chewie chortled in agreement, and Han shot him a look.

"Relax, Your Worshipfullness, you'll be pleased to know that I'm helping our dear Luke here find some worthy attire for your fancy…soiree tomorrow," said Han, crossing his arms and smiling at her as he put his legs up on the holo-table.

It seemed to be his trademark, Leia noticed.

"The Alliance thanks you, Captain", said Leia, icily as she followed Luke back toward the changing compartment, where she picked up his bloodied clothes with two fingers.

Han slowly put his hands behind his head and sent Chewie a quizzical look as he leaned back into the holo-booth; the wookiee shrugged back at him: If Threepio couldn't understand human behavior, Han sure as hell couldn't understand women...at least not this one.

Leia came back to the holotable and gestured to Han's own filthy attire. "So what are your plans with this mess you've got going on?"

"Well, if Your Majesty must know, I was going to wear this tomorrow. I did just give Luke my extra clothes…"

"- You have one extra set? Are you kidding me?"

"Darlin', I don't kid."

Leia groaned and looked at Luke, and then back at Han. "Well, you better give them to me…I can get them in right now for cleaning just barely in time for tomorrow. I do wish you'd have taken care of this earlier, Han! Who knows if these stains will come out now."

Han looked at Luke. "Kid, looks like you've managed to get her all riled up again..why don't you carry on with that honky mating-dance you were doin'", said Han as he got up to head toward the changing compartment. "She could use it."

Luke was still bright red, and leaning on the portal frame next to the lounge - half holding himself up after a few too many drinks, half attempting to retain a little bit of his mock swagger from earlier -when Han whispered to him as he passed out of view:

"She just wants to know what I'm smugglin'…in these trousers!", joked Han with a ridiculous wink at Luke who now crossed his arms in total embarrassment at Han's gall. It was hilarious though, he had to admit. A huge grin had now involuntarily plastered itself across his tan face. Han knew Luke wouldn't be able to handle the comment, and he knew it would infuriate Leia.

"What did he just say?!" interrogated Leia, loudly enough for Han to hear her. "Consider yourself reported, Han!"

Luke didn't know quite what to say to redeem Han in that moment without making things worse, so he said "Oh, nothing Leia – you know him..." and decided to change the subject.

"Here give me those, it's not your job to clean up after me…us…He didn't want the cleaning crew to bother with the Falcon so I offered to help…and I don't want you to bother with this. I'll take care of it," finished Luke, as he took his garments from her...and threw them in the Falcon's garbage chute.

"There, right where they belong."

Leia laughed at him – he was rarely this funny, she thought - as Han called from the other room.

"Alright, your Highness, I'm jumping in the fresher, you can take these clothes or leave them, either way, I'm not sure what you want to do with me in the meantime…"

"I'm not going to encourage him," said Leia to Luke, as she grabbed up the pile that had just been hastily thrown in the hallway.

"Leia, I'm going to take Threepio over to droid maintenance, I think he could use an overnight soak after, er, what he's been through recently…I'll take care of that too," Luke added, taking the laundry from her.

"Or...you know, I could just throw them in the garbage chute…" joked Luke, with a playful half smile, and a gesture to the bin. "…then you'd have some real trouble on your hands! Hey, at least they'd be firmly pressed…"

Leia punched him in the arm. She was now red in the face, and pretty sure that Luke knew that she liked Han more than she let on.

Ever since that garbage chute incident – Han had tried his best to ensure her safety over his own in that situation – and well, she didn't hate him quite so much now that he'd come back. Had he come for her?

Luke gestured to the droid, and they both groaned as Threepio began his rebooting process. He was far too heavy to carry over to the droid bay, and thus, they had to suffer whatever info-dump was waiting to explode when he was fully rebooted. In his presently over-frazzled state, you never knew just what he'd say, or if he'd feign malfunction and not want to walk…

As his golden eyes blinked on, Threepio began his verbal tirade. "Ooh Mistress Leia, it is so good to see you again! Master Luke, what are you doing in Captain Solo's clothing, my goodness, with all that I have seen from you two I am not sure that I want to know! Oh dear oh dear. Artoo! ARTOO! Where is he? Will he be repaired soon! Goodness! Perhaps I need a memory wipe—"

"It's ok Threepio, everything is fine, we were just joking with you!", said Luke. Leia looked at him, laughing to herself - Luke had no idea that she had heard their little charade in its entirety (she was going to save that knowledge for a later date). She then looked at Luke's hands…they did look soft – were Han's really rough? Was that a bad thing?—Luke jolted her out of her wandering thoughts as he continued to calm Threepio down—

"What do you say to a nice oil bath and buffing, eh? I'll bet Artoo will be almost finished by now, maybe we can go see him together, whaddya say, buddy?, asked Luke, gently, though still obviously slightly intoxicated.

Leia thought Luke was especially good with the droids. Han could be so cruel to Threepio at times, and though he was exceedingly annoying, ill treatment at the droid's expense was often unnecessary. Often hilarious, but still, he didn't deserve to be upset all the time.

As he continued fussing with Threepio, Leia surveyed Luke, minus the farm clothes. She had to admit, he was looking especially good in this new getup, though she knew that he was quite taken with their new guest. She didn't want to ruin it for him by getting in the way… Maybe she just had a thing for the Bloodstripes he was now wearing, thanks to that scoundrel…

"Ooh Master Luke, that sounds wonderful, just wonderful! If I could just get up we could get going right now, if of course you don't mind that is-"

Luke cut off the droid, "No, not at all, we can go right now. They are expecting you in fact - I've even made a special late-night reservation for you." Luke looked at Leia and rolled his eyes as Threepio sped down the ramp and toward the droid center with Chewie in tow.

"What is this now, a droid spa? I didn't know there was such a thing…can I go get a hot oil bath too?" joked Leia, impressed with Luke's persuasiveness at getting the finicky droid speeding off toward the repair unit - a place that Threepio normally would have avoided at all costs. He was not a fan of being tinkered with and seemed to rather enjoy complaining about ceasing up rather than being properly maintained.

"Well, I just made it up..and anyway, it's better than carrying him, trust me, I know," said Luke as he ran an exaggerated hand through his hair, now acutely aware of the silence that had descended upon the Falcon's saloon upon Threepio's comedic exit.

Since Rue arrived, he wasn't sure what he thought about Leia anymore. Not knowing what else to do, he gathered up Han's clothes and headed toward the ramp, noticing that Leia was not moving to follow him out, which surprised him. They had been practically glued at the hip since her rescue. Maybe he had let a bit too loose tonight...

"Oh you go ahead Luke, you've had a long day. I'm going to stick around to give this lazer-brained diva a piece of my mind when he gets out. Please, will you make sure they'll have Artoo ready by tomorrow, if you don't mind. Oh, and Chewie is going to spend the night in the trees outside the base – he says that he reminds him of home..."

"Alright, thanks for telling me – you get some rest too, Leia. I mean it!", he said, pointing at her with mock-seriousness.

"Thanks, I'll try, farmboy…see you tomorrow, oh, and Luke, thanks for helping Han…", Leia trailed off.

"Oh...No problem….well, goodnight…"

Luke slowly descended the ramp, half hoping that she might change her mind and come with him, leaving Han to stew in solitude about his personal infractions with Leia, and his ridiculous comments. Why he felt this way he didn't know – maybe it was the whiskey. Hopefully he hadn't totally moofed things up with her, as was the way of his short track record. At least he knew that Leia wasn't about to leave forever. Not that Rue would…he just didn't know.

Speaking of Rue, Luke's thoughts quickly shifted back to her, soundly sleeping across from Threepio's destination… hopefully he hadn't woken up the entire base on his way there!

It wasn't until he was halfway across the paddock that Luke was surprised to hear the hydraulic ramp of the Falcon close.

He smiled to himself as he understood why Leia wasn't walking back to the dorm-wing with him, and why she didn't fight him about getting Threepio out of there tonight…

I guess Han wasn't about to be reported afterall.