—
CHAPTER 3
When Leonard picks up Sheldon for work on Tuesday morning, everything seems normal at first. Sheldon is dressed in his everyday attire, spooning oatmeal into his mouth.
Leonard greets him with a gentle voice. "Good morning, buddy."
"Good morning, Leonard. You're two minutes late."
He wonders how Sheldon is handling the fact that Amy has ended their relationship, but he decides not to broach the topic unless Sheldon does so first. Of course Penny is right behind him, and he doubts that she will be quite so tactful.
"He's a newly married man, Sheldon. You're lucky he's only a few minutes late," Penny answers from over Leonard's left shoulder. She lightly pinches his behind, forcing him to stifle a little yelp.
Sheldon is usually oblivious to such things, but Leonard sees him roll his eyes. "If you are going to regale me with tales of a two minute coital performance from your new husband, you most certainly needn't bother. My noise canceling headphones stopped working a few weeks ago. I have heard some of his performances in the interim, and I am not impressed."
Penny opens her mouth, no doubt to offer some kind of retort, but he grips her arm in warning. Something is wrong.
While his roommate is behaving like his normal, difficult self, Leonard is starting to spot a few concerning details. He is wearing gray pants, but gray pants are his Wednesday pants. He is also eating oatmeal, which Leonard knows is a Monday breakfast. Today is Tuesday.
Sheldon's ridiculous schedule has been a source of irritation for almost a decade. It is rare to see him deviate from it, and quite frankly, Leonard finds it disturbing when it happens. "Sheldon, are you okay?" he asks.
"What are you talking about? Of course I'm okay. Well, aside from the fact that we are now…" he points his watch at Leonard and taps the glass face, "three minutes late to leave."
He feels somewhat comforted by the fact that Sheldon is still being obnoxious about punctuality. Nevertheless, he suspects that things are not quite as normal as Sheldon is trying to pretend.
"Sweetie, we just want to make sure that you are doing alright with the Amy situation. We know how difficult breakups can be," says Penny.
"Oh, I see your confusion. You see, Amy and I aren't really broken up. She'll admit that she's wrong before too long. Usually when she's irrationally angry at me, it only lasts for a day or two. I just need to wait for her brain to return from its monthly hormone-addled journey into madness."
Leonard exchanges a wordless glance with Penny. Her voice is very subdued when she begins to explain, "Um, I think you might be underestimating the severity of this. I spoke to her last night, and she didn't sound like her typical self at all. She told me that she is even planning to take some time off of work."
That apparently piques Sheldon's interest, and Leonard sees his friend's arrogant facade waver for the first time. Sheldon stands up, looking uncertain. "Amy doesn't take time off of work. It may only be the biological sciences, but she loves her job anyway. Are they forcing her to take a vacation like they did to me?"
Penny shrugs. "It sounded like she wanted some space from everything in her life for a while. She said she expects to be gone for the next two weeks."
"But where is she going? What is she planning to do? Who is she planning to do it with?" Sheldon is starting to sound frantic.
Leonard tries to placate him. "Calm down, Sheldon. It sounds like it's just a little vacation. If she hasn't had one in years, it will probably be good for her."
"Yeah," Penny agrees, "after five years with you, who wouldn't benefit from some time away?"
—
Amy finds herself jerked awake from a deep sleep. She thumbs the button to answer her phone and groggily whispers, "Hello?"
"Where are you going? What are you planning to do? Who are you planning to do it with?" Sheldon's questions reverberate through her still-drowsy consciousness.
She sighs. "Good morning to you too, Sheldon. I see you're confused about how a breakup works."
"Of course I'm confused. How could I possibly not be confused? One minute we are celebrating the past five years that we spent together, and the next, you break up with me to take off to parts unknown. And you don't even have the grace to inform me thusly."
"I was going to call you before I left." That's a lie. At best, she was planning to send him an email. Still, she wasn't planning to leave without telling him.
"And…?"
"And tell you that I'm taking a vacation."
His silence indicates his dissatisfaction with her answer, so she feels compelled to continue, "Look, Sheldon—"
"I'm sorry for whatever I said. Last night, when you got mad at me. And the night before that, when you also got mad at me."
Amy feels taken aback. It is rare for him to apologize for anything.
"You're already forgiven," she assures him, and that much is the truth. For as brightly as her anger had flared, it has burnt out just as fast. At this point Amy feels nothing but resigned about it. There is no reason to stay mad at Sheldon for stating the facts. "Nothing that you said was technically incorrect, just insensitive."
"If I'm forgiven, does that mean that we're back together now?" She doesn't think that she's ever heard his voice sound so vulnerable.
"Sheldon… I can't…" she begins, trying to make herself blurt out what the doctor told her weeks ago. She chickens out for what must be the tenth time. "I'm sorry too. I just need this time."
He is quiet for a moment before he asks, "Are you ever going to tell me why? I don't understand why you want to terminate our relationship."
When she doesn't respond right away, he starts to babble, "I didn't know you hated The Flash so much. Maybe if you tried the comic book instead you would feel differently. The source material is usually much better than the adapted screen versions for things like this."
"It's not the tv show, Sheldon, and I will do my best to explain. Just, um, just not right this second." She can hear his sigh of impatience and has to admit to herself that his request is not at all unreasonable. "During the next two weeks, I will write to you," she promises.
"I could go with you."
Amy's mouth drops open in surprise at the offer. It's difficult to imagine Sheldon taking time away from work for her, or for any reason, really. Composing herself, she clarifies, "I need time alone. Don't you remember taking some time off for yourself last year? Your train trip?"
She only hears a weird little grunt in response, which she supposes counts as an acknowledgement of sorts.
"I'm not running away or anything ridiculous like that. It's nothing more than a vacation." She decides to soften the blow and assuage his curiosity at the same time. It should also take care of any lingering interest he might have in accompanying her. "I'm planning to spend the next few weeks hiking."
"You mean like outside?" He sounds incredulous.
Amy understands why he would find it surprising. When Penny had first suggested the idea, it seemed outrageous to Amy too. Upon further reflection, however, she decided that a change of scenery and routine might be exactly what she needs. It should provide her the opportunity to reflect on her situation without the confusing, overwhelming influence of the man she loves.
"That is the general idea, yes. We live in a beautiful state with an extensive system of hiking trails."
"But Amy, there are bugs out there."
"I'll be fine."
"What about hyperthermia? Hypothermia? Twisted ankles? Broken bones? Snakes? Bunnies? Dehydration? Illness? Starvation?"
Bunnies seem a little out of place on his list of fears, but Amy isn't foolish enough to ask him to explain. Instead, she assures him, "I promise that I'll be careful."
He is silent for a few seconds, long enough that she starts to wonder what he might be thinking about. When he does finally speak, he mumbles, "And you're coming back?"
"Yes, of course. Sheldon, I will be back before you even have the chance to miss me."
—-
On Thursday evening, Penny is having a peaceful dinner with Leonard at the kitchen table of 4A.
They decided to share a meal with Sheldon tonight, knowing that it used to be his date night with Amy. In an effort to cheer him up, Penny even suffered the indignity of swinging by The Cheesecake Factory to pick up his favorite bacon cheeseburger. Sheldon took only a few bites before foregoing his food and heading over to his spot on the couch to bury his face in his laptop.
"How do you think he's holding up?" she whispers to Leonard.
"I'm not sure. As you can see, he's been very quiet, which is unusual. Of course, it's also hard to bring myself to complain about it."
Penny nods. The silence is refreshing, but also rather freaky.
Leonard continues, "It feels like it must be seventy-four degrees in here."
"What's wrong with that?"
"Are you kidding? You know as well as I do how strongly Sheldon feels about the ideal ambient temperature of his living quarters. If it's not 72 degrees Fahrenheit in here, then he tends to go batcrap crazy. The fact that he's let it rise by two whole degrees is disturbing in and of itself."
"Oh right. It's hard to keep track of all of Sheldon's little oddities. But whatever. What about Amy? Has he said anything to you?"
"No. The thing is, he keeps claiming to be reading research papers online, but every time I see his screen, he is staring at either Gmail or Facebook."
Penny nods and finishes the last bite of her salad. She carries her glass of wine with her as she marches across the room and plops herself onto the couch next to Sheldon. She leans into his personal space to ensure that she provokes a reaction. "Whatcha' reading about, Shelly?"
He leans back a distance equal to her encroachment and makes a face at her. "I'm reading a paper about condensed matter and complex quantum systems."
She blinks at him a few times and tilts her head. "Really? Because it looks a lot like you're checking up on Amy's social media accounts."
Sheldon turns his laptop screen away and scowls at her. "Fine. I admit that I am concerned. She told me that she would write to me, but she hasn't emailed me yet. Nor has she tweeted or posted a Facebook status update. There's nothing on her Tumblr, Instagram, or Snapchat either."
Penny smirks. "You could see if she pops up on Tinder."
"What's that?"
Leonard shoots her a look and says, "It's a... a dating app, of a sort. And I'm sure that Penny is just kidding."
Penny can see that Sheldon is not amused. She decides to point out the obvious. "Have you considered that maybe Amy doesn't have access to all of this technology right now? I mean, she is out hiking and might not even be able to connect to a network. Or she might be trying not to use her phone because it won't be easy to recharge it."
Sheldon gasps. "Oh, that sounds horrible! I hadn't even considered that. It's positively uncivilized. What if she needs to make contact in case of an emergency? What if she has a nagging question that she wants to Google? How will she be able to search for amusing cat GIFs every morning?"
He always has such an interesting set of concerns. Penny gives him her most sympathetic look. "It's natural to worry about someone that you care about, but Amy is the smartest woman I know. I'm sure that she will be fine. It's not like she won't be able to find help if she needs it."
"Wait a minute. What makes you so sure? Do you know where she went?"
Penny puts all of her old acting skills to the test as she lies right to his face. "No, of course not. But the trails in this area are all quite active, she has her phone for emergencies, and I'm sure that she is taking every precaution."
In reality, she knows exactly which path Amy has chosen to wander because she is the one who suggested the route. It's a popular trail that should be both easy and safe, but she has been sworn to secrecy. Amy is set to meet up with her in two days, and she checks in via text once every evening. Penny won't worry as long as her friend keeps up the contact.
Sheldon narrows his eyes at her. That's okay. She knows that he can't read facial expressions well enough to detect a lie anyway.
As she anticipated, he soon gives up and looks away. "I can't believe that she wouldn't tell me where she is going," he says.
"Did you let her know all about your little train trip? At least she spoke with you before you left."
Sheldon ignores her question, which is about as close as she would expect him to get to acknowledging the similarities. Instead he says, "I just want her to tell me what's going on."
Leonard shrugs. "You know, she probably meant that she's planning to write to you the old-fashioned way. Did you check the actual mail?"
Sheldon leaps up, plops his laptop down, and heads over to his desk. He flips frantically through a thick stack of envelopes and glossy junk mail flyers before flopping the whole pile back down in a sloppy mess. It's unsettling to see him leave something untidy like that. Leonard is right. Sheldon really isn't acting like himself.
"Try to be patient, sweetie. It's only been a few days. The mail will come again tomorrow, and I'm sure you'll hear from her eventually. At worst, you'll see her at the end of the two weeks. Everything will be fine."
Sheldon sits back down in his spot and shifts his attention back to his laptop screen. As he does so, he starts shaking his head. "No. No, absolutely not. This simply won't do at all. Maybe I can find a way to access the GPS location data from her iPhone. Then I could catch up with her on the trail."
He starts typing away on his laptop, ignoring both of them, so Penny walks back over to the kitchen and wraps her arm around Leonard's shoulders. She whispers into his ear, "You don't think that he would actually go out into the California wilderness to try to find her, do you?"
With a soft voice that even Sheldon shouldn't be able to pick up, Leonard replies, "Maybe, but he probably wouldn't get very far. It wouldn't take long before he'd get a blister, stub a toe, or run out of breath from some moderate exercise. There's also the perils of dirt, insects, and wild bunnies."
"What's this about bunnies?" she whispers back.
"Oh, Penny. Whatever you do, please don't ask him."
She glances over to see that Sheldon is still tapping away. Leonard raises his voice to try to reason with him. "Sheldon, this would be a gross invasion of Amy's privacy."
His typing doesn't miss a beat while he responds, "You mean like the way you tracked my phone to locate me at the train station last year?"
Leonard looks chagrined, and he sounds defensive when he stammers, "That's—that's completely different."
That comment only earns Leonard a quick flash of Sheldon's skeptical face before he refocuses his attention to his laptop. Penny doesn't see how it's different either, but she continues trying to convince Sheldon to stop.
"Maybe it's different and maybe it's not, but if you found it intrusive when Leonard did it, then you should know not to do the same thing to Amy. It's wrong to spy on her."
Sheldon's keystrokes pause at last, and he peers over at them with a curious look on his face. "Indeed. But while I'm at it, I should also try to access her ATM history and credit card statements. Maybe she will make a transaction in a nearby town to resupply."
Penny raises her eyebrows. "Oh my God, you can't do that! It's creepy."
Leonard agrees, "She's right. I may have tracked your phone, but I certainly would've drawn the line far before what you're suggesting."
Sheldon's expression shifts into one of confusion, but before long, he shrugs and starts tapping away at his keyboard once again. Annoyed that he isn't listening, Penny insists, "We're being serious. Damn it, Sheldon, that's despicable and downright stalker-ish behavior!"
He freezes and looks back up. She is pleased to see that her words are starting to make an impact.
Sheldon bobs his head a single time with a determined look on his face. "You're right. I should call Howard."
—
Notes:
Okay, I don't want to bore you guys with my ramblings every chapter, but I did want to say a quick thank you to everyone for reading, and for those who have felt inclined to review, I enjoy that as well. The story is obviously diverging from canon at this point, and since I started writing it many months ago, it won't resemble season 9 at all.