I want to talk about you. What could he possibly mean by that? She turned her head, pulling back just enough to see his face. She was unable to read his expression, but his eyes were warm and welcoming. She continued holding his gaze as he led her around the dance floor with confidence. Pressing her fingers more firmly against his shirt, she caressed his side. She felt his muscles bunch beneath her fingers as his eyes widened slightly and he faltered for half a step. He recovered quickly and his eyes searched hers, looking for some explanation for the caress. She offered none. He would have to take it for whatever he thought it was because she wasn't certain herself. She did it because it felt right. She expected him to end the dance when the song ended, but he surprised her, drawing her closer to him as the next piece started. When she offered no resistance, she could feel his muscles begin to relax. His embrace became more natural. On another impulse, she rested her head against his chest. His arms tightened, allowing her to rest comfortably against his body, and they moved as one. When his lips pressed against her head, she felt a tremor course through her.
"Are you cold?" he whispered.
She drew in a deep breath, relishing the scent of him, and shook her head. Her denial puzzled him. He knew he'd felt her tremble...what could possibly have caused it if she wasn't cold? When she moved her body against his, he lost his train of thought, and it didn't come back. She turned her head to look up at him again, eyes bright, lips parted just a little, and he was irresistibly drawn to her. Closing the distance between them, he brushed his lips over hers, gauging her response. When she didn't withdraw, he did it again, lingering longer this time. He was the one to withdraw, suddenly realizing that he wasn't kissing some random date. This was his partner. "Uh...w-we'd better get back...our dinner...uh...it'll get cold."
She nodded, allowing him to retreat. It was a very familiar song and dance. She followed him back to the table, trying to read him but not succeeding. Their meals were waiting and they ate for awhile in silence. Finally, he spoke, halting and tentative. "Uh...Eames...I-I am sorry. My mother...sh-she really pushed...that whole girlfriend thing. I...I appreciate what you did...for her. And I got...carried away...back there. I'm sorry...It won't happen again."
He was focused on his plate. She understood now. Bobby and guilt were old friends. They grew up together in a home that bred insecurity. "She's worried about you," she said gently. "She just wants to know that you're happy, that she's not leaving you alone. You're her son."
His head dipped lower and she couldn't see his face. But both fists were balled tight on the table. "Bobby?"
He waved her off, struggling with himself to keep control. He concentrated on the activity around them, the sounds of the other diners, the hustle and bustle of the wait staff, the music...and that was his undoing.
You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,
in my heart In my soul
You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you
And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time
You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,
in my heart In my soul
You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you
"Excuse me, Eames," he muttered, getting up from the table and walking quickly away, leaving her baffled and concerned. She watched him step out onto one of the balconies that overlooked the Sound. Well, she was not going to let him get away with this.
She motioned to their waitress. "We're not done with our meal yet, so please don't clear the table. We'll just be out on one of the balconies."
The girl smiled. "That's fine. Enjoy."
Eames gave her another smile. Yeah, right. She never enjoyed taking him to task for his insecurities. She got up and headed for the door he'd gone through.
He leaned on the railing and buried his face in his hands. The gentle breeze off the ocean and the sound of the surf breaking on the coastline helped calm him and he grasped desperately for a measure of control. She just wants to know that you're happy, that she's not leaving you alone. The truth of the matter was that she had left him alone, years ago, and she'd been slipping beyond his reach ever since. Once she'd started her descent from reality, there was no getting her back. It started when he was seven, almost forty years ago, and he still had not adjusted to losing her. Now it was looming ahead of him like a huge obstacle that he had to surmount or it would crush the life out of him. He heard the door behind him open and close, and he sensed her beside him, but he didn't react. His life was heading toward a very deep low and he wasn't sure he wanted her to see it. When he hit rock bottom he was going to hit it hard.
She rested her arms on the railing and looked out into the darkness. The quarter moon shed little light on the sea, but the restaurant lights danced on the gently breaking waves. The sea air was fresh and salty. But somehow she doubted he noticed any of it. He looked utterly miserable. She reached out a tentative hand and laid it gently on his shoulder. Again his muscles tensed at her touch, but when she didn't move her hand, his tension eased. She slid her hand along his shoulder and gently fingered the hair at the nape of his neck. He dropped his head a little lower, interlacing his fingers behind his head. His breathing slowed and he seemed to relax. She leaned over and kissed his temple. "It's okay," she whispered. "Everything is going to be okay. We'll get through this."
He turned his head slowly to look at her. "We?"
She met his eyes. "Yes. We. Do you think for a second I would let you face this alone? You're not alone. Everything you have faced by yourself in the last six years has been by your choice, Bobby. All it ever took was a phone call."
She felt the tremor that coursed through him and she leaned closer, resting her head against his shoulder as she watched the lights on the dancing waves. He tightened his hands against the back of his head, still struggling against emotions he was losing his grip on. "Eames? Why did you do it?"
"Do what?"
"What you did today, with my mom? Why did you pretend to be something you're not?"
"Because it was important to you. Because it will make it easier for her to finally let go. She's suffered enough, Bobby. It didn't take a great deal of effort for me to relieve her mind of one last worry."
"But...how do you know...I-I don't even know...that she was worried about it."
"She's your mother. Trust me, she worries about you. I know she can be hard on you, but I also know she loves you. She wants the best for you. And she doesn't need to die thinking you're alone in the world." She paused for a moment. "You're not, you know. I did not lie to her. Maybe I'm not your girlfriend, but I care about you, and as long as I'm around, you'll never be alone in the world."
He was silent. Slowly, he loosened his hands and straightened up. She pulled back from him, fully expecting him to retreat into his shell. "Let's finish eating, Bobby, and I'll take you home."
She turned to head back into the restaurant only to be stopped by a gentle hand on her shoulder. She could feel him, looming behind her. His cheek pressed lightly against the side of her head, and she could smell the whiskey on his breath as it filtered by her face. "Thank you, Alex, but that's not something I can ask you to do. I know you're there, and you are very important in my life. I have no one else. But there is no way I could ever ask you to take the burden of being closer to me than you already are. Believe me when I tell you it's not a burden you want to carry. But thank you...for being willing."
He placed a tender kiss on her temple and guided her back into the restaurant before she could form a reply.
A/N: You're the Inspiration is by Chicago. Keep in mind--Bobby is so reluctant to let anyone get close to him. If Alex really wants to fill that role in his life, she's going to have to work to get him to let her in...