Title: The men we've become
Rating: PG-13? (later NC-17 )
Pairing: Mainly Yuuram (little GwendalxGunter)
Genre: angst, drama
Chapter: 3/ (15-20)
Warning: AU, a little shin Makoku and a little Europe during the middle ages, not a happy ending, yoai, un-beta'd
Summary: two boys grow up in different environments...
Ok I'm going to be honest this chapter is so looooooooooooong and boring. I'm sorry!! I hope that you can bare with me if not I'm sorry for dissapointing you cries
If you decide to read be prepared for the molestation of the english language as this story was a bit co-written by another dutch girl who knows less english than I do. XD
And as for the people that also read "lost time" I'm so sorry for the long wait cries again I deleted chapter 4 a few times but I think I got it right now. I expect to post it on fanfiction in a week if nothing unexpected happens.
And all the people that have reviewed thank you so much!! that keeps my spirits up.
The men we've become
Wild flower
He woke up surrounded by darkness, his body laid uncomfortable on the worn out mattress and his limps were aching like they did most of the time. It was an ache he was used to, although the headache and sore feeling in his throat were a different kind of pain, a new one.
The aching feelings were rushing trough his whole body. In his head they blended together and caused him to squeeze his eyelids more until he didn't just see black but also red dots and blue and yellow. All of them drifting in front of his eyes making him unnecessary dizzy but secretly he enjoyed the feeling.
Then the cock crowed sending signals to his brains and causing the hairs in the back of his neck to stand up. He should have already been downstairs around this time.
It was hard to find the amount of energy to get out of his bed but some how he managed to open his eyes, who immediately closed again. He blinked another few times taking his small room in vision.
The room had grey walls and a wooden ceiling and floor. There wasn't much furniture only a simple bed with an overused mattress and a small closet. Nothing expensive, this was what his parents could barely afford. He knew that all to well cause every day he had to listen to all their self pity. It probably didn't help to have four children. On top of that he noticed the familiar mood swings of his mother that meant that there was another one coming.
Like they could afford another child.
He already had an elder brother and sister, who were quite some years older than him. Then his younger brother was born when he was of the age of fifty, just starting to get into puberty. And now when he was seventy another one? What were his parents thinking? Were those nightly activities really that necessary when they could only buy dry bread and milk to feed their children?
He winced, he realised that if he had said that out loud his mother would have screamed at him for being a child of a horror created by evil and disgusting elf humans and his father would get that all to familiar brown wooden stick. He sure loved batting that thing at him.
He forced his torso up. There wasn't any time to spare. He had to get downstairs in the next five minutes or he didn't even have to say perverted things to hear his mother's screams and feel the burning pain from that stick.
Hastily he dragged himself out of his bed, pulled off his grey night shirt and got into his peasant clothing.
His outfit existed out of dark brown slacks, a wide beige-coloured shirt and his small flat boots that were black and muddy.
He then ran his fingers trough his blond hair to take to most obvious knots out. That was as far as hairstyling went for the boy.
His hair wasn't so long only a few layers reached his neck, it was easier that way. In his childhood he had long hair that draped around his shoulders, which only got in the way but he never thought of cutting. It was when the first comment was made considering whether he was a boy or a girl that made him rush to the kitchen and cut his hair off with a simple kitchen knife.
When he swallowed he felt an awkward pain in his throat and his head was aching so damn much every time he moved. He held his hand to his forehead and was relieved to find that he wasn't any warmer than usual. It wasn't a fever, probably just a cold. As that was established he rushed out of his room down the stairs and into the kitchen, while biting trough the pain.
In the kitchen there was an angry looking brown haired girl.
He sighed at least that meant his parents were still a sleep.
The girl's light brown eyes glared at him "had a nice sleep, Ruben?" she asked sarcastically as she dragged out a heavy sack from the storage closet.
"oh yes I did, why thank you for asking" he shot back at his sister. But when he talked he found that his own voice sounded somewhat strange.
"oh shinou! that's just great. Have you been playing in the rain again. Like we can effort a sick child around here" the girl said as she glared at him again
"I'm no child" he said with his raw voice
"No. I'm not a child and yet I'm still here, living with my family working more hours then I can take and you .. you just.. argh" she waved with her hands and dragged the sack further along with her to the door opening that led to their small farm.
"I just what?" the boy almost yelled but quickly reminded himself that his parents and little brother were still sleeping.
"You are such an ungrateful brat of a boy. Do you really think that your behaviour is getting you anywhere" she paused as she looked angrily out side and sighed "I'm not going to have yet another conversation like this with you"
"hmm ungrateful brat? Just what exactly do I have to be grateful about" his voice was low but his bitterness had frosted the words enough for the girl to notice.
"nothing" she gave a small sarcastic laugh which were the ones that annoyed the blond the most "not anymore and any ill treatment you have been shown, you can blame it on yourself"
He shook his head, shagging her words off of him. Normally he would get mad but if he starts yelling now it would do him more harm than her.
When he thought about it her words didn't really matter. It's not like he hadn't heard anything worse from the people around him. It didn't even hurt anymore when people said that it's all his own fault for being an outcast. Once you reached your limit's the tears just wont shed no more and the emotional pain just becomes something you learn to live with. This was the way it was and it wouldn't get any better anyhow.
People calling him ugly and human. The continued screams and abuse from his parents. His brothers who were actually scared of him. The fact that no one would ever love or even care for him. It was all a part of his normal day routine.
But every time those annoying people badmouthed him it would itch that prideful and wild character of his.
As far as he can remember that was his problem, he was to outspoken and wild. Even when he was just a small child people said that he needed to be tamed. And his parents always listened but the more taming they did the more wilder his stubborn mind made him. He was not one that could be tamed at least not that easily.
He stayed quiet after their warm good mornings and was getting to his own chores while his sister was feeding the animals that survived the harsh winter. Hopefully business would get better with the changing of the seasons.
This winter they lived in poverty that was something they never had to go trough before. They were always considered to the middle class of the society.
But this winter everyone in the family had to work except for his mother and little brother. His sister worked in a small pub serving food, his brother did some wood work and his father had turned in to a market man. They used to have someone selling their products for them but now that was just considered impossible.
As for Ruben he was requested to help Frau Geers out with her domestic chores. At first he didn't like it at all he wasn't some girl, he could do his brother's work just as well and carry wood around. But after a while him and the old woman had some kind of understanding and working there became more of a relaxation from the anxiety back home.
-xXxXx-
The blond stood squatted between the various plants in Frau Geers garden. She had a bigger garden than most people in their village. Her house was even bigger, it wasn't close to any of the other houses. Had it been just a little further away she wouldn't even be part of the village.
The woman was a rich widow. A rich wife of a respectable man that died many years ago. A rich widow with an attitude that wasn't appreciated in the neighbourhood. The people around only bowed their heads for her because of her age and her name that she shared with her death husband.
His shoes were getting even muddier than they already were. The earth was moisture because of the resent rain showers.
He had squatted his knees and gathered mint leaves from the garden for a while now. All plants were herbs, there were no flowers only herbs. Which was of course suspicious. Why have a big garden if you're not going to decorate it with beautiful flowers. And why plant herbs, what were they needed for? Could she be one of those that used dark magic. Those were the whispers, the rumours going around. Though no one would dare to say it out loud.
Ruben could care less though. He was considered evil so why be scared of another evil? Besides her herbs really preformed miracles. He arrived with a throbbing headache and a sore throat this morning. Now he was just fine, it was still there but bearable all thanks to her 'magical' herb tea.
Outside the smell of rain was still in the air. A thick warm smell in which lingered the smell of wet trees and new grown grass and weeds. It was a nice scent, which distinctive nature.
Dark clouds were speeding their movements, it didn't take long for the dark greyish clouds to arrive and shadow the village and it's environment. This morning they were still lingering somewhere far in the east. He could see them then, hoping they would arrive soon. And they did.
He looked up in to what he found to be a most beautiful sight. A normal person would run inside afraid for lighting and rain. But he had already accepted the fact that he wasn't normal. He didn't just see dark clouds and run for shelter. The sight above him held so much more not only did he see grey but there were more colours like dark blue, a bit of purple, white and yellow and could that little piece over their be described as green or was that to far fetched?
The boy felt a bond with nature and all that connected him to it. A bond that he had with no other.
Light subtle drops were being released by the colourful clouds. He closed his eyes increasing the sensation of the cool drops falling on his face and arms that were now bare as he had rolled his sleeves up.
The subtle drops were followed only a few second later by heavy drops that amounted much more water than the ones before. He didn't hide he just enjoyed. His face was covered in water in a matter of seconds and so were his clothes and other body parts. It probably wasn't smart but he couldn't resist the rain, it always got the best of him.
The rain did so much more than ruin the landscapes and roads and let the weeds grow. For the boy it washed away his sorrows for as long as the shower lasted. It made him forget to think and taught him how to feel. He couldn't think about the things that surrounded him nor could he hear anything save for the sound of the splashing rain that fell down. That sang a melody of peace.
This was his peace
"Ruben!!"
He could hear something far away. A sound that travelled trough the raindrops and reach his ears barely. He frowned, he wanted to ignore it but he didn't have to because the rain had already stopped.
It was gone as soon as it came. The moment after was always a moment of disappointment.
"boy are you mad?"
The voice came now from close by. He looked up to see brown eyes looking down at him.
An old woman with long grey hair knotted in a loose knot. There were still some locks in the messy hairdo that were blond. He had never seen her with her hair fully blond. She must have been pretty he thought. Blond hair wasn't very common around these lands.
Her hands laid up on her hips that were clothed in a nice dark green dress. On her shoulders displayed a silk golden scarf that reached all the way down to her waist.
The white/grey eyebrows were furrowed and her face was held high in an arrogant way. She looked down at him in a way that gave him a feeling of being worthless.
"No wonder you were sick. Do you make a habit out of this?" she asked
The blond boy raised from his squatted position and eye levelled her "I didn't notice" he said casually not even trying to make an excuse.
He could hear a small sigh escaping her thin lips.
"Get my herbs and come inside" she turned and walked back in side with a slow pace. Holding her dress a little up so it won't get dirty.
The boy wiped most of the water off his face with his hands. And then bended down to get the basket with the gathered herbs. He had collected a large amount of mint leaves so he knew she would be pleased.
Back inside her lovely home she lightened the fireplace with a snap of her fingers. She was a fire mage and one of the stronger magic keepers in their village and even in the nearby town Doelder. Every one had a certain element just nobody had time or money to spend in learning how to get skilled with their powers.
Even though some had only little of that power. He envied them, how he would love to control the dancing flames of a fire or raise water drops from the ground. But those were only dreams that could never be fur filled. There was indeed some truth to him being human although he was sure if he was he would already be an old man by now instead of a youth.
"Get yourself warmed up and get some towels, you know where they are. I'm going to make some mint tea." the woman said and left for the kitchen
He didn't mind to be ordered around by her, he somehow respected her even though she wasn't a warm person. Perhaps he felt a liking towards her because of their shared position in society.
The woman also seemed to be respecting him in return, she was probably the only one that treated him as a living being. Even though she wasn't known to be a kind woman. She always had this strict expression on her face like she was from noble blood and everyone she saw she considered to be inferior .
Folks did not dare to speak ill about her out loud or to oppose her. In an argument she'll easily belittle you with her knowledge. That's why arguments with her aren't something common only a new comer would be foolish enough. But that must make her a lonely person though..
He got some towels to dry himself off and placed himself on a red carpet in front of the fireplace. It wouldn't take long before his clothes dried so he didn't take them off. Besides he couldn't stroll around naked in an old widows home. A few moments later the woman walked in the room with a big mug and handed it to Ruben.
"Here you go. Hopefully you won't get sick again" she said and then placed herself gracefully in a large wooden chair near him and the fireplace.
Her expression almost never seems to change. She always wore this pout on her lips and her eyes were strict without a clear emotion. You couldn't even tell whether she was unhappy or not. Was she angry about something, was she lonely? This woman was a person he couldn't read, normally he could figure a person out within the first few seconds he meets them. But not her. She was a mystery, one that intrigued him.
They just sat there in silence, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence more a relaxing one. He felt he could let his guard down for a while. Surrounded by the warmth of the fire and the mug in his hand. The smell of mint loitered in the room, the tea was refreshing and yet warm. He couldn't understand why something as planting herb's could be a crime or a suspicious act. People were definitely dense around here.
"So why do you enjoy the rain so much" she asked again without changing her expression but her body leaned back in the chair and her muscles seemed to be relaxed, that was the only sign of comfort.
He shrugged "It feels nice".
She looked at him and nodded slightly "everything that's diverse must feel nice to you"
-What is that suppose to mean?-
The blond raised his eyebrow slightly but not to obvious the last thing he wanted was to seem dim. The truth is that most of the time he couldn't understand the words that came from that old woman. Even though she acted like it was obvious.
She continued to look at him and the boy looked back, he never looks away first even if he felt intimidated. A tiny smile appeared at the thin pouting lips of the woman as she averted her eyes.
Ruben wondered what it was that she was thinking about.
The silence continued and only a few words were spoken. Until it was time to leave. It was then that his chest tightened and his guts sank. What was that feeling? It was suddenly hard to breath and he felt more than just a little uncomfortable.
"Is there something wrong?" she asked as she looked at the cramped up face of the blond boy.
"I.. I just. No everything is fine" he said as he tried to push the feeling a side.
"Are you sure? The cards do say there's something coming up"
He looked at her with a little mocking smile "everything is fine"
The boy got up and said his goodbye. The cards could say what they want he wouldn't fall for such cheesy thing. It disappointed him that she did. He always thought those things were just something to play with for bored and lonely woman. Or an easy scam for gypsy the make some extra money on desperate women, who are dying to know about their future love live.
It was all nonsense but he couldn't deny this agony that was sending shivers trough his body.
-xXxXx-
It was hard to grab for air, it was hard to hold on to air, it was just hard not to fall down and choke himself. Cause that would be a better option than what was sitting in front of him.
He should've listened to the cards and his guts. If he had only turned around and spend a few days in the green fields before going home. Being locked up after a trip like that would be better, everything would be better than this.
This would be the butcher's son a fine young man according to his mother. A fine young man indeed compared to her husband but to Ruben he looked old and sinister. Not that he was hideous there was just this vibe around him. Something the blond boy entitled as rotten in the dark blue eyes of this fine young man.
The man his clothes were simple but they had a feel of nobility around them. His shoulder long hair was tight back in a dark blue lint that matched well with his dark brown hair. His bangs were a bit to long and he often removed them out of his face with a smooth movement.
The blond couldn't find himself to like this arrogant man especially not under these circumstances.
At first he thought his sister was going to be betrothed or as he would like to call it; sold. That was all his parents had in mind anyway, marrying their children off with more fortuned people so they would make some sort of sick profit. But it turned out that he was going to be the one that was going to be 'sold'. To a man.
He could not describe the humility, fear and anger he felt by the fact that his parent were betrothing him to a man. He didn't exactly know but the stakes were very high that the master plan was concocted by 'mother' Ferle. How he hated that woman,. All his misery somehow found its origin in that evil mind of hers.
They all were sitting around the oaken dinner table. His parents, sister, two brothers, the butcher and his son. All ready to bargain him away.
His sister looked upset, could it be that she actually envied him? That wouldn't be such a surprise she would probably consider this act of financial despair as an honour. Though it wasn't all out of financial reasons, it was the perfect plan to get rid of that violent son.
He glared at almost everyone at the dinner table. It was obvious that he was angry.
"It's a feisty one" the butcher laughed, a small but broad man with a much to happy face that was now looking at him but he was damned before he showed any sympathy back.
The boy's father cleared his throat "yes we wouldn't lie about that but I'm sure that won't be a problem for a strong man like your son"
The butcher laughed his stupid laugh again and pushed his elbow in his son's arm "no no not a problem at all, right son?"
"right" his son said, his eyes sparkling in a way that was just upsetting to Ruben.
"It would be a shame though. Would he be send of to marry a girl" the butcher continued, he was rather a talkative man, an annoying talkative man.
"I don't even think that would be an option, I'd certainly pity the girl. He needs someone stronger to keep his wildness in control" his mother said. Acting like he wasn't even the room.
She made sure everything was perfect for dinner. With a little help of his rich aunt, that unfortunately couldn't be present, she made an actual dinner. A large amount of potatoes cooked and baked with all kinds of green vegetables. There even was a newly slaughtered pig chopped up in pieces and covered in some kind of herb sauce displayed in two big bowls on the table. This was defiantly more than they usually ate for a whole day. They must be eager to make him a bride and send him away.
The blond boy didn't ate much, he was just picking at his potatoes even though he was hungry and it smelled better than anything he had in a long time. But he couldn't help himself. He was to upset and to busy with showing that he was displeased.
All he really wanted to do was to shout at those men and his parents. To shot insults at them and behave like a mad man so they would never come back again but in the end he decided to sit this one out. Maybe he wouldn't have throw a tantrum, maybe a miracle would happen just once in his live.
"Sir, I heard some disturbing news today. That the rebels were actually staying in Doelder" his sister said shyly. Trying to keep herself in a conversation. It was also a weak attempt of luring some of the attention to her. Nobody would blame her for trying right?
"Yes, sadly I can only confirm that" the butcher said, his face changing from overly happy to a bit sad.
There were some gasps and other shocking sounds in the room. While Ruben couldn't care less about that. There were some other pressing matters on his mind like that he was going to be forced to get married with a guy who's future was going to be slaying animals.
"Oh Shinou" his mother gasped while laying a hand on her forehead "that is terrible news"
"Don't worry to much milady. They won't come to the village nor would they hurt someone in town. They do believe that everything they do is for the good of the commoners" the butcher's son said reassuring.
That just makes Ruben sick. Sucking up to the future mother law how pathetic.
"Oh Robert" she said with an appreciated smile "I really hope so"
"yes" it was his father who started talking now "I heard it too. They think that the things they do is for the good of the people. How despicable! If there is anyone who can do something against the growing poverty it's the Maou"
"And what wonderful Maou we have!" his sister spoke again
"Yes I've heard about him. The new Maou is much different and more caring for the people" Robert said in agreement
"But don't the rebels think he is to soft?" the unsure voice came from his elder brother who wasn't much of talker. He only spoke when it was necessary.
"Ah smart boy! That's exactly what they think. They think the new Maou is to kind and will lead his country to disaster. He even got a soft spot for humans I've heard, well I'm sure it's good for something" the butcher said. His happy face had turned back on again that much to Ruben's annoyance.
A Maou that is even kind to people that hate him and wish him death. Sounds more like a wimp to him than a great king.
"There are also rumours that the rebels plan to join the human troops to set up attack against the Maou" it was his sister again who was trying to show off her knowledge.
"My my this girl of yours is quite informed" the butcher said somewhat surprised which made his sister smile shyly.
"Well that's no wonder. She works at a pub, lots of people come there with many stories" his father said. Making sure his daughter didn't get to many praises.
"I see" the butcher with a nod "well I haven't heard anything about that, girl. Did you son?"
The brown haired man looked at his father and shook his head slightly "not a thing father"
"Who told you that Merel?" his mother asked curiously
"Some travellers from Shin Makoku" she answered "They were talking about something like that. A grumpy man and his somewhat enthusiastic partner. If I can remember correctly"
"from Shin Makoku?" her mother asked again in wonderment
"yeah I was quite surprised too when they told me that. They also looked very wealthy but they weren't keen on answering much questions. What I know is what I caught them whispering"
The butcher laughed happily "shifty girl" he said making his sister blush of embarrassment
"eaves dropping on strangers, ha! Well let's not hope they were right. That would be outrageous." he continued
The conversation about the rebels and the new Maou slowly died. Ruben didn't exactly mind that, he never liked politics. To many rules and such. However he did know a quite bit and already was informed by the topics that had just past. One of the benefits of working with Frau Geers is gaining some knowledge.
His sister was now putting some afford in getting the butcher's son's attention. Her fingers tangling a lock of her brown hair when she spoke to him and trying to get as much eye contact as she could. She was sitting next to Ruben, who sat a cross off Robert. Ruben really didn't care whether she succeeded or not. If she was so foolish to actually like getting engaged to someone like that then she probably deserves it.
It would though mean a ticket out for her. The thought crossed the boys mind which allowed him to see this all from a new perspective. If he were to marry this wealthier man then he wouldn't have to put up with his parents abuse anymore. Although would he be trading his difficult life in for one that was even harder? This man sitting across from him looked like the perfect son but from the moment he met him he could feel that something was off. He didn't look like he would be kind or gentle.
This was a man that was going to follow his fathers footsteps one day, to butch animals for a living. Could the blond boy be able to help him with that like the perfect housewife would?. He couldn't stand animals in pain let alone watch or even help them get slain. A man who did such a profession couldn't be a nice man. No it was better to stay here in the village with his parents.
The conversation around the table was continuing like it was just a normal day and nothing out of the ordinary was going to happen. It made him feel sick again. How casually everybody thought about him marrying a man.
"You should eat Ruben" the man in front of him spoke "you already are so thin, a little meat wouldn't harm you"
He didn't respond he just furrowed his eyebrows and glared his all to familiar glare to the man.
-How dare he tell me what to do-
His glare was however ignored by all the people around the table. It was like they got used to it already.
"yes Ruben eat. You're so thin I can put my hand all around your wrist that's not healthy" his mother said
Ruben didn't know whether he should be surprised, glad or angry. His mother never showed concern about his well-being and now only because of those men she finally said something that was remotely kind.
He looked at his food and started pricking into a potato. It easily fell into multiple portions and he lifted one up with his fork. After looking at it for a few minutes he decided to actually put in his mouth. His senses were overcome with the taste of the soft yet spicy potato though his brains didn't care to enjoy it. Even though he was hungry his appetite was smashed to the ground the minute he laid eyes on Robert.
What was even more disturbing was his mother talking on and on about the marriage. She was honestly thinking that he would agree or she probably believed that he didn't have a choice. He probably doesn't
"… and with a little luck he will be able to bare you sons" she eventually said which caused the boy's heart to skip a beat.
-WHAT?-
"really?" the butcher started in surprise "but I though that the boy was… special"
"oh yes he is. He ages slower and he hasn't got any control over our family's air element. But I've heard that demon's special like him can bare children too"
"well.. that is of course wonderful!' the butcher said happily "right son?"
"yes that is extremely fortunate" Robert agreed
His interest in food was now fully shattered. He dropped his fork on his plate.
He was able the bare children? Yes of course he knew that demons of both sexes could create life inside of them. But he never thought about him being able to.. And then to think that they spoke so easily about it as if he would roll over like a puppy and do whatever they wanted. Whether he would bare children or marry this man it wasn't their choice to make! The boy was getting more furious by the second.
He then slammed both his hands on the table while he lifted himself up. His glare ten folded and his body shook with fury. The faces around the table were looking at him a bit more than a little surprised.
"The hell I would!! The hell I would marry you and bring you children!" he hadn't spoken all evening and out of the blur he started screaming at the oblivious brown haired man that was sitting in front of him "I'd rather pick up a blunt kitchen knife and stab myself with it!"
His head was flushed with anger as he turned away from the table and ran out off the room. He didn't wait for his parents to get out of their shock and reprimand him. He already bared enough insults this evening.
Once he was in his room he dropped himself up on his bed. Tiredness had overwhelmed him and he didn't want to think anymore. He wanted to ban every thought out off his head.
There was a knock on his door. That was more than surprising. He was expecting his parents to storm in to his room but that couldn't be his parents. They would just smash the door open, it would never come to their minds to actually knock and respect his privacy.
The door slowly opened and Ruben went to sit on the edge of his bed out of curiosity. As the person stepped in the room, he could see that man. It was dark in his small room but the blue eyes of the person reflected the light and made them glister. They looked pretty but still had that same scariness to them.
Robert stepped in the room and closed the door behind him. He let his eyes skim the dark little room and took a few steps closer to Ruben.
"It's really small in here" he said
"It's just fine" the blond boy responded with a slight hostility in his voice.
There was something off about the other man being in his room. He didn't like him and he sure didn't like being alone with him in small space.
Robert smiled his dark blue eyes sparkling again "I can give you so much more"
"I don't need more" the boy returned, placing that same old glare on his face again.
"Do you never get tired of making that face?" the other asked
The blond boy didn't respond his glare only hardened
"And isn't it exhausting to be so angry all time?" he continued after waiting a brief moment for a respond
Ruben only made a noise as if to brush it off. If the other didn't like him to be angry he shouldn't give him a reason to.
"I've heard about you before. I must say you intrigue me. That behaviour of yours, those green emeralds full of passion, they can bring fear into anyone's mind. You're really are special" Robert moved closer to the bed while speaking
The blond was taken off a bit. He didn't think anyone would find an interest in him. However how the other man was speaking about him made him sound like he was a project, some sort of a hobby. 'Let's see how to make that wild boy into a perfectly behaved wife'. Even though being able to interest someone was somehow flattering at the moment he'd rather be invisible to the other man's sight.
"When old woman Ferle made the suggestion of marrying you I was eager to agree"
Big surprise.
"Why do you reject me ?" the man asked when he sat down on the bed next to the blond boy.
He couldn't respond, he was only able to look at the man. He actually didn't know an answer. Why did he? What was so wrong with marrying a man who was more fortunate than yourself. When people married it was only about two things money and children. That was exactly what he would be getting. But why did he feel that he somehow needed more? There wasn't anything more. Love was nor a reasonable request nor something that actually existed outside a fairytale.
"For someone like me agreeing to marry you should be a praise"
His eyes glared again "so what you're saying is that you're better than me. So I should be happy to get you even though I'm not worthy of you" really this man was just a hypocritical as the other commoners.
"That is.. not exactly what I said" he responded casually while still looking around "what I meant was that you'll be better off marrying me, you'd be more.. prosperous"
"I wouldn't even marry you for all the treasures in Blood Pledged Castle" the boy said stubbornly
Robert laughed as he turned his look at the boy. It wasn't a nice laugh more a sarcastic one.
"Really, what is the purpose of your objections?" The brown haired man asked while moving a little closer to the boy "Or do you just object to object. Scream to be able to scream? There is not much depth to you then, is there?"
The insults were left unnoticed. The more import thing happening was that the other was coming dangerously close and all he could think about was their proximity. Imaginary alarm bells could be heard loudly in the boy's mind. His eyes went to the door and back at the man who was still moving closer. He needed to get away and quick.
When he raised himself from the bed which he thought was pretty fast, a hand grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
"Where are you going?" the man raised an eyebrow while holding on to Ruben hard
"Don't touch me!" the boy yelled, he was getting in one of his 'tempers'
Robert moved his other arm to hold 'Ruben's free arm and pushed him on the small bed "you know.. I am allowed to do that now"
As the older man moved up on top of him he could feel the anger and fear rise in him. A combination that was not going to do the man on top of him any good. The boy did his best to push him off. Unfortunately the older man was physically much stronger.
The man's face moved closer to his "You really are a wild one. A wild flower that has to picked by the right party"
The boy looked in to the dark blue eyes and was really getting freighted. He could feel and taste the wine scented breath on his mouth. He moved his hands to the other man's shoulders ad tried to push him off while wildly moving his body.
"Get off of me!!" he screamed a few times. Hoping someone would hear him but then it hit him that if they did they wouldn't come anyway. Of course! It suddenly came to him. If he and this man would have intercourse, he was forced to marry him or live his whole life in shame. With that also shaming his parents so they could force him to marry. The perfect plan.
Robert grabbed both his hands and moved them above his head.
"relax boy, then it won't hurt so much" the man said
That was it. He couldn't let this happen, he couldn't let himself be raped! He was not some weak pore boy, being weak was unacceptable. He moved more violently than before causing the other to struggle to be able to hold him down.
"Don't!" the man who tried to keep up the appearance of a fine young man and the perfect son in law was now getting aggravated.
The boy however didn't listen and kept going. Until he used his knee to bluntly aim for a spot that held every man's most precious item. The man cried out a swear and loosened his grip on Ruben. He was now able to push him off and run for the door.
He didn't look back but quickly opened it and ran down the stairs. He wasn't going to the dinning room, knowing his parents and the butcher were still there. They would never understand, they were probably the cause of it all. He ran to the kitchen not really knowing what to do.
A few seconds after he entered the room he heard a noise that made him turn his back around only to find himself eye to eye with assaulter. He was definitely not looking happy.
As he turned around quickly he was grabbed again this time by his waist but not before he was able to reach for a certain object that laid on the kitchen table.
When the brown haired man pressed his body against the boy, he turned around displaying the weapon in his hand.
"Let go off me now" he yelled while he forcefully pressed a knife against the other man's chest.
Robert jumped back immediately after he felt the pain caused by the sharp top of his soon to be husband's shiny weapon. He put his hand on the place, his eyebrows furrowed in a deep frown.
"you truly are crazy" the brown haired man said in shock
"well I am special, aren't I?" the boy said with a smirk, able to keep his voice devoid of any of his emotions. He didn't want to let the other know that he was scared of him. However his shaken-up body ratted him out.
The next few moments existed out of a struggle. Everything went so fast and before he knew it he was laying on the floor with the knife still in a tight grip in his hand. He had cut his own hand in the progress though it wasn't as bad as the large cut in the other man's arm.
They were both panting, all the gentle features that were on Robert's face had disappeared. He was holding his arm were it was bleeding. The shocked faces of his parents and the butcher could be seen in the door opening. It was almost comical hadn't he been so afraid. He knew it was over now but had no idea of what was going to happen after this. How will his parents react? He had attacked the butcher's son with a knife afterall.
-xXxXx-
"Unforgivable! It's unforgivable!!"
The butcher and his son had left after the incident. The man almost threatened his parents with a lawsuit for the attack on his son. The boy's father luckily was able to calm the man down. They left without to much of a ruckus but the wedding was apparently off because he didn't want his son to be murdered by an insane spouse.
"I can't take this anymore.."
"Mother please calm down, I know he is difficult but think about it before you do something rash! What would Mother Ferle and the other respectable families think?" his sister nervously ran a hand trough her hair.
His brothers had gone to bed and so was his father letting his wife handle everything. He couldn't do it himself, the man was to furious and was afraid to seriously hurt the boy.
The boy himself looked confused. He didn't do anything wrong! He wasn't the one that should be punished.. but he always was.
"I don't care! They already think as low of us as they can and all because of that miserable human boy" the hatred was shown in her brown eyes as she looked at Ruben, he'd never seen her eyes like that before and it scared the hell out of him. The woman walked to that familiar place next to the storage closet and took the stick in her hands.
He winced, not again..
But this time it was slightly different. It felt more dreadful than ever ...
"out"
She began softly but then her voice turned. She began the scream and hit her stick at him multiple times "Out!! Out you're no child of mine! I refuse .. I refuse to believe that, out!"
She repeated to scream and her frowned face of disgust were hurting the boy more than that stick meeting his bare and clothed skin
Why? Why did he care?
His suppose to be mother had grabbed him by his shoulder and pushed him trough the kitchen out of the back door.
Out side it was pouring rain again but he didn't notice.
-xXxXx-
Standing in the door opening she gave him one last glance. She looked at the frightened child she refused to admit was hers. He was still just a child. The woman could see the damage she has done, not on his arms were the stick had landed on his bare skin but in his face. In those big green orbs ... he was .. lost.
-xXxXx-
For a second Ruben was able to see some kind of twinkle in those brown eyes. Maybe ..? Could it be .. Doubt?
But then it disappeared. Her look filled again with hatred when she reached outside for the steel doorknob and shifted the door shut with a loud noise.
Ruben's green eyes were teased with tears. As the door closed he acted out on his reflexes. The boy reached towards the door to knock on it loudly and started to cry. He wasn't thinking, if he was he wouldn't shatter his last bit of pride like that.
The heavily rain moistened his whole body thoroughly. Wetting his hair, his skin, clothes and the knuckles he pressed hard against the wooden door. His eyes were closed now after they had widened of the shock. Both his fist were hold on the door when he slid down on to his knees. His forehead landed on the door as he relaxed his body and mind only for a little bit
His lips moved as a soft whisper slipped of them "mother.."
-Why? why do I care?-
The truth was that it didn't matter whether or not she saw him as a son. Or how badly she had always treated him. She was the one person he ever knew as a mother. The woman gave birth to him even though she denied it.
She rejected him, told him he was worth nothing but wasn't she suppose to love him? Treat him at least fairly.. If she couldn't then how could anybody else ever do that? He really must be a horrible person.
What should he do now? Is there really any point for him to live? His mind flashed back several decades ago and pieces of memories flowed around in his head, things he didn't know he remembered.
There was a dog and something happened. He remembered being amazed by it's strength and then getting hit by his mother. The worst all started with the first slap she ever gave him. The name calling increased and so did the loneliness, the hatred and the violent behaviour of his parents.
As small as he was he promised himself to never give in and stay strong just like that dog he admired so much. He was taken away by it's persuasion to stay and fight. He did the same, he had fought all these years even though that was the reason he got into trouble. That the blond boy couldn't see all he felt was the need to fight, to not let anyone reprimand him and stay the way nature made him; strong and wild.
Was he now going to be destroyed by being denied the one thing he never wanted. Did he never want it? A real mother, a family, love? Was love really needed? All you could do in this world was to survive. You can't pay for food with love or clothes or rent a house with it.
He pulled himself together and stood up a little wobbly. As he looked at the ground he turned around and started walking.
He never chose to walk away because leaving was the hardest thing.
please review and tell if you fell a sleep XDD anyhow with this awful chap I deserve flames T.T