I am sooooo sorry I haven't updated in awhile, my grandpa's been in the hospital. I know that's an overused excuse, but I have proof. They're writing a article in the Medical Journal about him. He has two diseases at the same time that no one's ever had before. But enough about me! On with the story.
Brief Summary: Hayden's up to her usual antics, MAISSIE's still annoying(read: helpful), and we introduce a new important character! She also meets one of the Avengers!
The song I played to help me write this chapter was The Anthem by Good Charlotte. I also played it while I was re-reading, and they kinda go good together(if not completely match-matchy lyrics wise) so feel free to play it while you feast your eyes.
And thank you to my one reviewer, StellarLuna, this chapter's dedicated to you!
-Hayden Pen
Have you ever had one of those moments where you were so completely and totally crap-faced on booze that you couldn't even remember your mom's name? Neither have I. But this guy obviously had. If there were any customers in this early in the morning, they would've already fled from his stench alone, and his stumbling was kinda making me dizzy.
"Hey dude, no alcoholic drinks allowed. This a game store, not a bar." He ignored me, continuing to slosh vodka on the cheep linoleum floor. The floor that my manager just made me clean. "Come on, seriously?"
"Zzz ther' a -burp- b'throom? Gotta pee," It already looked like he wet himself, judging by the large wet stain on his pants, but I decided not to say anything. The months of working with drunks on my waitress jobs had taught me to handle them as one would an unwanted relative: humor them for a bit until they get it through their thick skulls to leave. Or just call the cops.
"No, we're a game store. Not a Quick Trip. Come back when you're sober."
"Zzz it 'n the...the back?" I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Daniel! We've got another one! He won't leave," There was a flurry of curses as I heard my co-worker bang his head on something, probably that comic book shelf again, before dashing out to join me behind the register. He was a bit older than me, but a lot taller, and he never quite grew out of his awkward-gangly-teenager stage. The dude looked like an overgrown monkey with acne issues.
"What? What is it?" He looked like he'd just woken up, hair flat on one side of his head and wild on the other. Probably napping on the job. Again.
"Bubba over there wants to know where the bathroom is. Care to show him?" Daniel groaned, the drunk dude farted, and I gagged. "Soon would be awesome."
"Its too early for this," Daniel hopped over the counter, gabbed our lovely customer by the arm, and dragged him outside; presumably to the nearest bus stop. Or hospital. I yawned.
This Game Stop definitely wasn't my most exciting job ever, but at least I got a 50% discount on all the games, controls, and merch, so that kinda made up for it. Ish. I'd worked ten different jobs before now, each cooler than the first, so this one was kinda a let down. The first was a babysitter for this family in Queens(which only lasted about a week before I got too fed up with wiping their five-year-old's butt. He refused to go near a toilet.), the next three were barista jobs where I met some cool aspiring poets, then a weird period of sorting thongs at Victoria's Secret(after that long of snooping, I still haven't found it yet. Her secret, I mean. She must hide it really well), then I stayed about a year at this bookstore in New Orleans, and the last four were waitressing. They weren't what I really wanted to do, they kinda sucked actually, but it put bread on the table. Er, well, Ramen noodles in my case. Bread was a tad too expensive. That's a really depressing thought...
It's been three years and two months since I officially became Hayden Pen, and I'm still not used to staying in one place. That's why I've had so many jobs; I just can't sit still. Either from fear of someone finding me, or just plain itchy feet, I really don't know. I've seen lots of places I'll never forget, people I wish I never met, and lived in some pretty dingy places. But at least I wasn't on the run anymore. Focus on the bright side! The glass is always half full...or something like that.
The point is I'm always traveling. Somehow, by coincidence or not, out of all the places in the world, I'd wandered back to Manhattan. Not very far from the Warehouse District either. I guess my subconscious was feeling nostalgic.
"Remind me to quit this job after my nap," I snapped out of my musings to see Daniel slouching into the store, a little worse for wear and damp from the rain-but-not-really-rain outside.
"Sorry, can't. I don't do favors for negligent co-workers."
"Oh, hardy-har-har. You won't be laughing after your first year here, kid, that's for sure." He's been working here for thirteen months. I don't know how he does it. This was my fourth week and I was already looking at the Classifieds every morning.
"I don't plan on staying that long." He shrugged, not really caring either way, and went back into the Break Room to finish his nap. I took out my phone and started aimlessly scrolling through IFunny.
After about two hours of complete and total boredom, my sanity started to wane. I couldn't take this sedentary crap anymore, I had to walk, run, do some frickin' interpretive dance; something that doesn't involve sitting on my ass! I had to get out of this store.
And I might just not come back.
My manager was a butt-hole anyway, and the pay was crappy. I had all my bills paid for the month, my Ramen stores were pretty okay, and the dog had food. I already got my check. Why not quit?
I grabbed a random piece of paper and a pen to explain my absence to Daniel.
Dear Sleeping Beauty,
I think that year mark is a bit too far away for me. I'm gonna take a very long walk, and you should expect me to come back around never. You catch my drift? Tell Manager Misogynist to kiss my ass.
All my love,
Hayden Pen
For dramatic effect, I put a little lipstick on and kissed the page, then haphazardly tossed it on the table next to Daniel. It narrowly missed his large pool of drool. I really wasn't gonna miss him. I grabbed my bag and jacket, tossed my key onto the cashier desk(after locking the shop's door, of course. I may be quitting without a word, but I'm not that huge of a jerk), and walked out. I felt a little bad for leaving without my 2 weeks or much of an explanation, but I really hated goodbyes. And my manager. Well, this would've been more of a good riddance, but an ending nonetheless. And endings meant closed doors, never to be opened again. I've been locked away way too long a time to except that.
~.~
"Too processed...ew jalapeño...Slim Jims are a disgrace to humanity...Sasquatch are glorified sausages...aha! The real stuff!" I snatched a couple bags of Jerkins' Jammin' Jerky(it sounds sketchy, I know, but its the best beef jerky outside of a smokehouse), salivating at the sight. Other people can't live without cigarettes, or beer, or the next episode of Face Off. Me? I'm weird(nothing new there). I'm addicted to jerky. I literally get withdrawal symptoms without it. Shaking, headaches, moodiness, the whole nine yards. But, I mean, there are worse things to need on a daily basis. I tossed some into my basket.
"Guilty pleasure? Check. Independence points gained from quitting cruddy job? Also check. Probability of movie night to celebrate? 100%. This calls for popcorn and Vodka!" I really need to stop talking to myself in public. Sooner or later, someone's gonna haul me off to the loony bin. That old man in the greeting cards aisle was already looking at me weird...
"Excuse me miss, but can you point me to the snack aisle? I pulled the short straw on buying groceries for my flat and I've never been to this store before." The guy smiled bashfully, rubbing his neck. I shrugged.
"Never really been farther than this aisle myself. The only reason I ever come is 'cause they have good jerky. But, I'm lookin' for the snack aisle too, and two heads are better than one," I picked up one last bag of jerky. They were only a buck for a ten piece bag, I was not passing that up. "We can team up."
"Sure. I'm Xavier, Xavier Way." I shook his offered hand.
"Hayden Pen."
Thus began the long and hilarious journey to finding the junk food. Boy and girl who are easily distracted + no real hurry + a craving for fun= chaos. We had a particularly loud Mario Kart war in the electronics area, tried every free sample we could get our paws on, tormented a few soccer moms in the clothes section by switching hanger tags around so the jeans were labeled the completely wrong sizes(that was my idea. I am so evil), tried to make a house of cards out of paint swatches, and rearranged all the sports cups with letters on them to spell out 'Run, Forest, Run'. Just to name a few. It probably took an hour or so to finally stumble across the food(not that we were looking too hard, in all honesty. I hadn't had this much fun with a regular human in...well...forever, I guess), both of us laughing so hard that it was completely silent and we couldn't even breathe.
"The look on her face was priceless!" He gasped leaning against the peanut butter shelf for support. Me? I was clutching my stomach on the floor, feeling like I'd pee myself if I laughed any harder. "I never would've thought putting condoms in the baby clothes would have such an insane effect!"
"I know! I didn't know an old lady could look so scandalized!"
"The virtue of youth these days is simply deplorable!" I laughed harder, if that is even possible, and felt in actual danger of wetting myself as he gave such a horrid impression of an older woman's voice. This guy had to be a comedian or something!
"In my day, children were cherished and premeditated!"
"What is this?! Contraception? Unspeakable!"
"Stop, stop! I'm gonna pee!" My bladder was saved, thankfully, by the ringing of his cellphone.
A MARLOTTO, AN ALBINO, A MISQUITO, MY LIBIDO! …..YEAH! ….YEAH!...YEAH!
"Hey House, what's up?" He asked after a moment of scrambling for his phone, putting it on speaker, clutching at his likely aching stomach.
"Nirvana? Really?" I mouthed, sobering up a bit. That was so overdone. He silenced me with a playful glare.
"Dude, where are you? You went for food like an hour ago."
"I got sidetracked," He winked at me mischievously, and I smirked. That's me, Ms. Sidetracked. House didn't sound too pleased.
"But I'm huuuuungryyyyy! And Freya woke up from her nap like thirty minutes ago. She keeps asking for you."
"What?! Why didn't you call me the minute she opened her eyes?!" Xavier turned frantic, quickly stuffing all the food he could reach into his hand basket. "Did you give her the medicine? Did she go to the bathroom yet? Did she fall?" He stopped dead, eyes widening. "Are you even watching her?"
"Bro, calm your dude boobs. She's chillin' on the couch right next to me watchin' some Doc McStuffins. Freya, say something so your dad doesn't flip shit."
"Language, House! Language!" I watched amusedly as Xavier became less frantic, actually stopping to check prices and brands before grabbing. I was kinda disappointed that he had to leave, though. For a dad, this guy was pretty cool. And cute. In a dorky sorta way.
"Daddy? Where'd you go?"
"Hey, baby. I'm at the store. Anything you want?" He dropped some cereal in the basket, purposefully getting a box with a cool toy. I know it's horrible, but...I'm kinda jealous of this Anna kid. The only thing my mom ever gave me was a shove into the hands of the Penitentiary.
"Yeah! Can I get goldfish?! Can I, can I, can I?!"
"Sure. I'll be back in ten, okay?"
"'Kay! Love you! House love you too! Don'tcha House?" There was a derisive snort in the background. My laughter had finally subsided, replaced by a warmth in my chest that I couldn't really explain. It was weird and lovey, and I wished it would stop.
"Love you too. Bye." Xavier glanced at my smirking face once, blushed tomato red, and looked away. He was so cute.
"So, Daddy, need anymore help getting sidetracked?" I chuckled, heaving myself up off the floor. Ugh, so much work. I really need that Vodka. The great thing about being Hayden Pen: unlike real me, who's 18, she's 21.
"Quiet, you. I don't even know you for an hour and you already get me in trouble with my family. So not cool."
"Hey, if I remember correctly, you were the one that started that Mario Kart battle. Which, may I add, was won by moi."
"Whatever. I was really awesome to meet you, but I gotta go." He didn't seem angry, per se, but in quite the hurry to leave. Well, he had another thing coming, 'cause he actually caused me to have fun just then. And I like fun, so he was sticking around a while.
"Hold up there, Mister Grumpy! We just fooled around in a Walmart for an hour, causing beautiful chaos, and you think you can just leave? No. You're taking my number whether you like it or not." I grabbed his hand, quickly penned on my number(which you don't need to know; you nosy readers, you) before unceremoniously dropping it and strutting away. Oh yeah, I look totally badass right now. I wish I had some killer background music or something. I'm killing it.
Well, up until I tripped and fell on my face, that is. Minor details.
~.~
"I hope you know that I love you right now." No answer. "Seriously. This is a huge thing for me." Still no response. "Ungrateful mutt."
"Ma'am, I am inclined to remind you that Maverick does not have the capabilities to speak English. He can not reply." I rolled my eyes, not even deigning MAISSIE with an answer, pulling on my other trainer. This was gonna suck.
Remember how I mentioned not staying in shape after the Penitentiary? Well, that came back to bite me in the ass.
Last year, when I lived in Missouri, I came across a tiny ball of dirty fur that vaguely resembled a living being. I decided that said ball was too fluffy to pass by, so I took it home, gave it a bath, fed it some beef Ramen(don't judge, I was on a tight budget), named it Maverick(because why not?) and took it to a vet. She said that Mav was not a deformed rodent or anything like that, but a puppy. Not just any puppy, but a pure bred Newfoundland puppy. She said he was a little malnourished and needed some shots, but after that he'd be fine. What she didn't tell me was that my cute little puppy would grow to be bigger than me in less than a year(and still growing, might I add), and that he needed a crap ton of exercise or else he'd flip out. He also sheds. A lot.
That is how I ended up sitting here by my front door with my now humongous ball of fluff, an hour before I usually wake up, pulling on running shoes, wearing tight jogging clothes I'd normally never want to be seen in, and dreading the future. I read on a website that a mile of vigorous exercise(read: jogging) and regular trips to the park are supposed to keep Newfies healthy. But what about my health? Well, I mean, I guess running will be good for me, but...I don't want to. I feel like pouting.
"Ma'am, I recommend that you progress at a quicker pace. The first shift at your new employment starts in three hours."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Stop your yapping." I hopped to my feet, sighing dramatically, before grabbing Mav's leash. He jumped up and started panting. "Don't get too excited. I'm not the best running buddy." Drool dripped from his mouth. "That's attractive."
Sometimes I wonder what my dog would tell me if he could talk. Probably suggest mental treatment. Or better kibble. Either is very likely.
"Ma'am-"
"I know, I know." I stuck my headphones into my cell, put the buds securely in my ears, turned on my Dance Music(hopefully that helps. Or maybe I'll just spontaneously dance in the middle of the sidewalk. Both ways, we get exercise), stuck it in my bra, and opened the door.
"MAISSIE, you know how to reach me if anyone breaks in. Watch the house for me." I locked the door behind me, already lightly bouncing to the beat of Smooth Criminal.
"Ready to die inside?" He barked. "I take that as a yes."
~.~
If this guy doesn't stop lapping me, I'm going to slap him. Screw my pacifistic views, I was dying and dripping sweat, while this guy wasn't even breathing hard! My phone has long since died(I forgot to charge it; oops), and left me music-less and suffering. And that stupid fast guy and Mav were having a blast. The only solace I was currently finding was the slightly comforting thought that the guy next to me was suffering just as horribly.
The worst part: I didn't even have to run anymore. My mile was long since up. But ever since the first time Mr. Show-off passed me by, I became determined. I would out-last him. Mark my words. He's going down.
"Hanging in there?" I glared at the blond who dared out-run me.
"The question is, are you?" I could barely speak through my panting. Lordie, this was almost worse than the vent shaft incident.
"Come on, Steve, give the girl a break. We can't all have infinite endurance." Ah! My fellow normal human to the rescue! 'Steve' immediately listened to him, veering off into a grassy area and plopping down. I waited until the other guy did the same before collapsing next to them.
"Never...again..." I panted out, glaring at my way too happy dog.
"Don't get too discouraged. We were in the military, it wasn't exactly an even standard." The less fast one said. "I'm Sam, and this is Steve." I shook his offered hand.
"Hayden. This is Maverick, the reason why I'm even up at this ungodly hour." Steve and Sam let themselves being sniffed, then promptly slobbered on by my overly excited newfoundland. To anyone that didn't know Mav, he probably looked pretty imposing. He was this hulking mass of black fur and sharp teeth. Then you pet him, and he automatically becomes a huge softie.
"Well, he's friendly, I can say that." Steve was getting the most attention, which surprised me. Usually my fur ball was very slow to trust others.
"He seems to really like you. I might just have to bother you every morning from now on, lest this poor, poor tortured soul might just start to mope." Sarcasm. That's a pretty good indicator that I'd survive the burning in my lungs and aching in my legs.
"We can't have that, can we?"
"Besides, I don't think that's a face anyone could say no to."
"It's settled then. I'll have to torture myself until he's appeased." This must be my lucky week. I think I've just successfully made two more friends(or at least acquaintances), which, counting Xavier, makes a grand total of three. A new record. I don't think anything could ruin my mood.
"Ma'am," MAISSIE said into my headphones. "my systems have discovered a new mutant in New York. Doctor Franken Wilfred Staine has made himself known." Never mind. I take that back. This week is the worst ever.
I just love cliffhangers, don't you? Don't worry. I'm going to try and start updating weekly. Just a reminder: I own nothing at all except Hayden. Xavier, MAISSIE, and Maverick. You could also count Daniel, but...eh. He's not awesome enough. Comment, follow, review, favorite, alert, whatever you deem necessary! Until Next Time!