Cas stays with his word to stay, he can't visit Dean everyday but he certainly try's, these visits are a secret though, Dean isn't ready for anyone to know about the two of them, its not that he's ashamed of it, hell its the only thing keeping him together right now but he's scared of what Bobby or Sam would do or really anyone who saw the two of them together. He can tell that it hurts Cas a little even though Cas would never admit to it, so Dean makes sure to go out of his way to make sure that Cas knows how much Dean loves him especially while making love and just small gestures, which is something that Dean never did before.

Dean finds himself falling more and more in love with his angel every time he comes to see him, the way Cas just automatically lightens up the room when he comes in, his laugh which Dean finds adorable and he finds himself trying to get Cas to laugh more just so that he can hear it, and just learning little things about the guy. And Cas always listens to him and for once Dean isn't just keeping things to himself, he trusts Cas, sometimes on a bad night he'll pray to Cas to come see him and when Cas comes he'll let Dean vent to him, yelling, screaming and sometimes braking things because he's never had this opportunity to just open up and let someone know that his tough exterior isn't all there is to him. And after he's done Cas will hug him and cradle his head and let Dean how much he loves him and tell him how things will be alright and that he will always be there then they'll curl up and cuddle somewhere, Dean doesn't really believe things will be alright but it helps all the same. Some times Dean wonders how he ever survived without this thing with Cas, how he stayed bottled up for so long.

Dean works on trying to gets Sams soul back himself with help from Bobby or someone else, Cas disapproves of Sam getting his soul back and it usually leads up to a huge argument with the angel if Cas finds out what he's been planning, but the making up after the fights are amazing but Dean hates fighting with Cas he hates the way when Dean says something rude he can see some of the light go from the angels eyes so he try's his hardest not to let him know, and when they do fight Dean always apologizes even though that's strictly something he would never do to anyone else, he just can't stay mad at Cas. And that is why Cas can't know what he is planning, he is almost certain that this plan could work.

Death told him that if he could be him for one day he would give Sam his soul back and even put a wall up so that Sam wouldn't remember hell and all he had to do was put on the ring. After Sams episode Dean couldn't take it anymore and he called Death, Cas didn't know any of this, Dean just needs to make sure a few things were secure before putting on the ring so that he can get Sammy back.

"Everything good Bobby?"

"Looks like it. Be careful boy." Bobby replies

"Alright, i'll see you." Dean goes into the other room, he considers calling Cas and telling him he figures he'll find out one way or another and would rather wait until later to have probably the biggest fight of their couple months together.

The experience with Death doesn't exactly go 'well' he took off the ring while doing the job, it was a lot harder than he thought, that little girl, he didn't want to do it, first of all she was a fucking little girl and she is never going to experience life, Dean never got to have a normal life but she could have had a chance, and all he could think about was when Sam killed that little girl that was possessed the cold in his eyes, he didn't want to be like that. But in the end he did but only to end up taking the ring off anyways. But the biggest surprise was that Death he still gave Sammy his soul back, Dean doesn't understand at all but he's grateful, but now Sam's not waking up. And Bobby wants to call Cas to see if he can see if he can do anything about it, and Cas was going to be pissed.

Anxiety builds up in Dean Bobby's getting impatient with him for not calling Cas, and Sam is still not waking up.

"Boy, call Cas before I kick your ass you punk, that's your brother down there!" Bobby sass's him. Guess that this was going to happen sooner or later, Dean just hopes Cas won't be too angry.

"Hey Cas... Me and Bobby down here" Dean makes sure to mention that Bobby is with him so that Cas won't appear and try to do something with him. "We need some help with some stuff, if you could come down that would be great." Cas appears almost immediately behind Bobby.

"I came." Cas says bluntly.

"I see that." Dean says while looking down and wringing his hands. Which gets him a look from Bobby. Cas looks stressed and Dean wants to reach out to him and embrace him or something, Cas never speaks of what happens in heaven but Dean wishes that he would so that he could at least try to help a little cause that's what Cas does for him.

"What is it that you acquire?" Cas asks doing his head tilt.

"Bobby," Dean says while gesturing towards Bobby for him to explain, so he gets another look.

"We got Sams soul back. And he ain't waking up, you think you got any angel mojo that could help him?" Cas would look calm if Dean didn't notice the things about the angel that he does, the way his shoulders tense just a bit and his jaw locks into a firmer position and his eyes go slightly bigger and his hands are balled into fists making his knuckles go white, oh yeah he was in the bag.

"I'll go look at him." He says stiffly and goes to the basement where Sam sleeps refusing to look at Dean. Dean already feels empty and Cas's reaction didn't make him any better he feels horrible for his brother, but what could he do? Let Sam still go off soulless killing innocent people? Hell no, Cas could be way more understanding of this Dean thinks stubbornly. But the other side of his mind nags him that Cas is just worried about Sam like him from how much he loves Cas. Dean decides to go wait by the panic room, so he goes down to the basement and then takes a seat at the bottom of the stairs. Please let Sam be okay.

Cas has been in there for a few minutes when he storms out looking angry and annoyed. His eyes widen at Dean not expecting to see him waiting there.

"I told you not to meddle with this Dean." Cas says in a deep threatening voice.

"I know... But he's my brother I couldn't do nothing..." Dean mutters. He was only like this around Cas, something about Cas just made Dean angry to disappoint him to the point that Dean wants to hide and curl up somewhere so that no one could see how ashamed he is with disappointing his angel.

"Dean do you know what his soul felt like? It felt like it was skinned alive!" Cas says heatedly. He says other things too but Dean kind of blocks them out he's only seen Cas like this when he was about to say yes to Micheal, and it worried him. Cas starts to go up the stairs probably to go talk to Bobby.

"Will you visit me to night?" Dean pleads so that he can make things right with his angel.

"I don't think so Dean." And just like that blackness spreads over Dean like a sheet as the angel climbs the rest of the stairway leaving Dean there alone. After a few moments Dean goes back up moving but not really feeling anything his legs just moving, he feels numb, things can't get bad with Cas, not now, he needs him. Cas is already gone when he gets up there just him Bobby, and sleeping beauty downstairs.

The next couple days Dean is in this zombie trance he pretends to be okay though he helps Bobby and talks and pretends that he's hungry, but in reality he's dead inside not feeling anything not hunger, not pain, just nothing, like that one precious night he and Cas spent together. He prays to Cas and even says sorry in a couple of them but he never comes. Dean is alone. And then something happens. Sam wakes up.

Dean and Bobby had just been doing research when his brother came up the stairs and Dean feels something again, relief a little bit of happiness and a twitch of guilt. Him and Sammy embrace each other and Dean fills him in on what doesn't include him being soulless and Hell, he's not taking chances with the wall if it brakes, the results would be horrible. Sam doesn't know anything and he's fine with that the less he knows about the year he was soulless the better, because it could brake Same and he himself doesn't want to remember it.

It a few days before Dean hears about Cas, and its from Sam.

"Dean, what happened when I was down in the hole for that year?" Sam asks like he does almost every five frigging seconds like a pest.

"I told you Sam nothing." Dean says lamely.

"Dean I know what happened." Dean's head jerks up did Bobby tell him? He knew that Bobby had wanted Dean to tell Sam but he didn't think that he would do it when Dean wasn't around.

"How do you know?"

"Cas told me." A pang goes off in Deans chest just hearing the name. Castiel. Dean shivers he misses him, he needs him, thinking about him not coming back to him makes him want to go jump off a cliff or go deep into insanity. He gets a weird look from Sam and then he realizes that Sam's reading him. Damn he forgot about Sam and his ways of always knowing that something was wrong and trying to figure out what it was.

"Right. Cas." Saying his name is hard. He knew that Cas was going to be pissed but he didn't think that he would do this, not come see him, ignoring his prayers its driving him insane. He hopes that now that Sam is okay he'll come and see Dean, even if he were to beat Dean to death or yell at him or not even talk just stare at him with that soul gazing look, anything would be better than not seeing him. Than this silence. "How the Hell did you get a hold of him?"

"I didn't he showed up to check up on us. But you weren't with me." Sam pauses, and Dean feels disappointed, Cas probably just said to check on the both of them to be nice, "Dean, did something happen with the two of you?" Dean chokes on the beer that he was drinking.

"What! No, of course not!" Dean receives yet another bitch face, probably his tenth today, he gets way to many of those things. "So what did he say to you?" Dean says his voice a little high.

"He told me everything... With you, Bobby..." Sam goes quiet, maybe Deans not the only one suffering here.

Dean clamps a hand on his brothers shoulder, "Hey man that wasn't your fault. You were bat shit crazy."

"But it was still me Dean."

"No Sam it wasn't."

"It was Dean! Maybe not this part of me, but it was still me!" Dean doesn't know what to say anymore so he changes the subject.

"Hey, why don't we go get ourselves a case? You and me back in action!?" Dean says enthusiastically trying to get Sam to cheer up.

"Yeah sure." Sam says not really focused. Shit Dean was so focused on his little soap opera of his that he forgot how Sam would feel once he found out. He'd try to forget about Cas until he came back to Dean, it was going to be one of the hardest things for Dean to do.

A couple weeks go by and still nothing from Cas. That one thing Dean has learned from this, Cas knows how to hold a grudge. Him and Sam have been on a couple hunts one that Sam and Samuel had hit but didn't exactly finish it causing some weird reactions from Sam and making him remember certain things. Dean doesn't like it he doesn't want Sam to remember so this honestly scared him.

Dean and Sam are casually enjoying a moment of peace in a motel when he appears. Castiel.