Confessions of Castiel Novak

by Thebuttchesters

Castiel is a freshman and the University of Chicago. He has began writing to cope with his father's abandonment and his fading faith in the Lord. He meets a friend named Dean Winchester who helps him find the things worth sticking around for.

2. 9-26-13

9.26.13

I guess all of this confusion began when I was sitting in my dorm 2 weeks ago. I was supposed to be reading some biblical texts because I am a religious studies major. Then I suddenly had a breakdown. I guess I just admitted to myself that I don't want to study that. It's boring and it's long and it's pointless because it's not like i am ever going to find out what any of it means anyway, right? So why am I even bothering, right? Plus in my experience it seems as though if God does exist then he mustn't care very much.

I just kinda realized that I am wasting my life already and I am falling into this like hole and I see all those people fall into it and now i just want to travel and eat good food and climb mountains and smoke cigarettes and have sex and hell I don't know Live a Little.

You will excuse my grammatical errors I have been drinking copious amounts of alcohol tonight because I think Hemingway wrote best when inebriated.

I am glad I am not at home right now. I don't like it there.