That morning I woke up with probably one of the worst headaches I have ever had. All I remember is vomiting 3 times last night in the front yard with Jones next to me and of course… the kiss…

I can't believe I did that! What was I thinking! I'm in love with Robbie! I pick up my phone to see if Robbie ever answered. It was about 11 o'clock and I had one missed call and 3 text messages.

One was from Jones. It said

Remember to talk to Robbie. You promised me.

And the other two were from Robbie.

Hey. Sorry I didn't answer I fell asleep. Yea but you can come over. Whats wrong? –Robbie

Hey when are you coming? –Robbie

Hey Rob. I'm coming over now. We'll talk then. –Cat

I don't even bother dressing up… its Robbie. I want nervous though. Yet again… he was Robbie. He was forgiving.

I pull up in front of his house a few minutes later. He is sitting outside on the porch in one of the chairs. I walk up and take a seat next to him. I don't look up from my feet.

"I'm sorry…" I start.

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong." He smiles looking over at me.

"I kissed Jones…We went out last night. I was depressed because all of this, us, it was getting weird. And I thought that maybe it might end soon… I was scared and upset. We went out to the club and I drank way too much… And I kissed him. He pushed me off of him with in a second and told me that no matter how much he liked me, I was yours… But I still kissed him…" I say finally looking up.

Robbie didn't respond but the look on his face was enough. It was hurt and betrayal. And I was the one who caused that.

"Whatever you decide to do… I understand… but please know I never meant to hurt you… and that I love you…" I say standing up.

"Why?" I stop as he asks. "Why did you do it?"

"I was drunk… really drunk… And I don't know why I was… especially with my past and alcohol. And after it happened I realized what I just did. And whether or not you forgive me… I'm never going to forgive myself for what I did to you…"

"Oh… I forgive you… I do… I've been drunk before… and I've made mistakes… I forgive you…" He says standing up and hugging me. I pull away.

"Maybe we should just end it here… I mean, we both where this is going to go. Junior year starts in 2 weeks and this is where reality starts to set in. You can't tell me it hasn't been brothering you too… I've seen the way you've been acting… around me, around other people. Maybe if we just end it here, if we just get it over with now, it'll hurt a little bit less. Maybe we'll get over it and move on sooner… I can't deal with this anymore. The constant scare that you're going to end it today or tomorrow… I thought about this most of the night. My head is telling me that it's over and my heart is telling me to keep going… but I know that somewhere in my heart the truth is there… maybe we just weren't meant to be…" I say turning around and walking away.

"You know what Cat… I think your right… Let's just end it now. Get it over with. Everything that we have ever had. The sooner we move on the better. And maybe after college, if it was meant to be… we'll be together again… but if not… this is for the better. Just know that I truly did love you… And I always will…" I can still see the hurt in his eyes and I can't take it knowing that I was the one who caused it.

I turn and run over to my car. The tears are welling up in my eyes but I refuse to cry… not until I get home… I wipe away the one tear that fell out and pull away.

As soon as I get to my house I see a car in the driveway… one that looks extremely familiar. I get out and sitting on my porch is Jones. He looks up from his folded hands that are in his lap and at me.

I walk up the steps as he stands up. "How'd it g—" I fall into his arms sobbing before he can finish his sentence.

"Oh…" He pulls me in close. The smell of him always comforted me. It was a cologne he wore… there was something about it… something that just made me feel safe… feel better.

"Hey… it's going to be ok, kid… I'm sorry… I'm really sorry…"

And that's how we sat for the next 3 hours.

"Thank you…" I eventually say into his shoulder.

"For what?"

"For everything Jones… for everything…" I say as a tear falls from my eye again.

"You're welcome…" He says rubbing tiny circles on my back. It just seemed like he knew how to make me feel better… how to make me smile… He always has. He was always the strong one.

I look up at him. "You know what today is?" I ask him only realizing myself. I shouldn't be the one crying… he shouldn't be making me feel better… it should be the other way around.

"Yea…" He says softly. Jones's father had died 12 years ago today.

"I'm sorry…" I squeeze his hand.

He just shakes his head and sighs before a tear falls down his cheek. He looks up trying to get the tears to subside but it didn't work.

"9:03... Why didn't they evacuate the south tower? They had almost 15 minutes I between… they could have done it…"

"He had gotten home late the night before… after I went to bed… He went out for a beer with his co-workers… I never got to say goodbye. He told me that that weekend he would go to the ball field with me and help with some grounders… you know, because I was having trouble with them… he promised me… But it never happened. I never told him I loved him that day…" He finishes and wipes the tears away from his eyes. I take his hand in mine and give it a squeeze.

"He knows… he always has…" I say giving him half of a hug. "Hey… I have an idea…"

I let go of his hand and start to walk away. I stop him from following me and go to my garage doors. I put in the code to open it and duck under the doors. I come back out with two mitts and a baseball. I throw one at him and he catches it. He looks up from the glove and right into my eyes. I can see his blue eyes get brighter as the white around them get red and watery.

I walk about 15 yards away from him and turn to see him. He was looking down at the glove. Just staring. Finally he looks back up at me and waits for me to say something.

"Let's play catch…" I say with a smile. No matter how much I hurt he was always strong for me, now it's my time to be strong for him. Only twice in my life have I seen Jones cry… the day his father died and right now… The tears streamed down his face as I throw the ball at his. The smack of the mitt lets me know that he catches it.

He throws it back and I catch it too. I look up and am about to throw it when he shuts his eyes and says, "Thank you…"

12 years ago today everything changed. A plane crashes into the North Tower of the World Trade Center then a plane crashes into the South Tower. A plane flies into the Pentagon and one is crash landed in a field outside of Pittsburg. And that was it… That was the end of everything being "normal". It's been 12 years and things aren't back to normal and they won't be for a very long time.

Well hopefully I got some tears out of y'all. Review away. I know it was shorter but I had field hockey today in 99 degree weather and I had like 45 lbs of padding on and I am EXHAUSTED! Well review please!

FDNY

NYPD

Never Forget 9/11