Sorry it's been a while..
well, here we go.
*sigh*
~Jenna
NINE
I had a dream once, maybe ten months ago; not quite a year. I was floating in a small row boat, in the middle of the ocean. It was a beautiful day, the sky was a deeper blue than the water splashing softly under me. Big fluffy clouds swayed in the breeze. The water reflected the orange sunlight and it glowed. I was sitting on a bench, without paddles. I couldn't move anywhere- but I didn't really want to. It was calm and peaceful and there was no other place Id rather be.
I kept thinking about waves, and how water was never still. It was always moving on, going someplace else. It was always running, flowing, splashing, crashing, streaming to somewhere new.
I wondered what it was like; never staying in one place. Exploring, weaving into new experiences.
Suddenly, in the distance, a darkness started to devour the sky. It was like a wall of black, slowly inching it's way to me, eating the blue sky and white waves. It was like a storm, but not.
I frantically tried to paddle with my hands, but nothing happened. So I got up and jumped into the waves. I dove deeper and deeper, swam for my life. Then the darkness caught up, and swallowed me into the alternate universe that was darkness. The clear soft water morphed into jet-black thick ink. It pulled me deeper and suddenly I couldn't breathe. I flailed and kicked, screamed but no voice came. The water seeped through my nostrils and mouth, filling my lungs, my ears, my heart. I couldn't feel. I couldn't think.
I feel like I am in that dream.
I couldn't breathe, think, feel, as Oriole and my parents went in to see Annie.
The doctors told us only a few hours. The cancer had spread to her heart.
Caspian and I sit outside the hospital. You could see a part of the beach from here. The early sun starts spread across the sky, eliminating the moon for the day. The stars slowly start to disappear until they weren't there anymore.
"Annie's dying, isn't she?"
Caspian seemed so young sometimes, even though he is turning fourteen in a few weeks, he was still my little baby brother.
I nod. "Yeah."
"Are you sad?"
"Of course."
He waits. "Are you scared?"
I hesitate for a moment.
"For Oriole," I reply.
He sighs and nods.
"But not for yourself," he adds after a while.
I shake my head.
"Me too. I'm not really upset she's leaving, I love her, but she's been suffering for a long time, taking care of Oriole by herself after Finnick died. I mean I wish she was still going to live, but not this way. I'm glad she's going to go someplace else." Caspian hesitates. "I don't really know where, maybe just to death, but I...I don't know how to explain it."
I take his hand. "I get it."
We smiled at each other. We sit there for what seems to be hours. Until the doors behind us slide open.
Oriole walks out swiftly, and speeds past us.
And I know.