"Listen carefully, mouth breathers of the world – this is Patricia Tannis, and I have found another vault! As you may know, the opening of the first vault, five years ago, triggered a chain reaction that revealed more -"

You all listen quietly, and you jump, startled, as Tannis is suddenly interrupted.

"BOOOORRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGG. You don't wanna hear about that, Vault Hunter! You wanna hear about LOOT, and PECKS! And EXPLOSIONS! I'm Torgue, and I'm here to ask you one question, and one question only – EXPLOSIONS?"

You look to Axton, grinning. He looks confused. Not that you aren't, but still, this sounded awesome!

"Get off this echo frequency, you protein guzzling baffoon! I'm trying to convey-"

"THAT SENTENCE HAD TWO MANY SYLLABLES! APOLOGIZE!"

"AS I was saying, I've discovered that this new vault is buried in the center of a large crater and will only open, and I quote, "Once the champion of Pandora feeds it the blood of the ultimate coward.","

"WE AT THE TORGUE CORPORATION SINCERELY BELIEVE THAT IS F***CKING AWSOME!"

You giggle as he's bleeped out.

"IT'S SO AWESOME THAT WE'RE GONNA SET UP A TOURNAMENT TO FIND THIS 'NUMBER ONE BADASS'. IF YOU WANT IN, COME TO WHERE THE VAULT IS BURIED – IN THE BADASS CRATER OF BADASSITUDE!"

"That's NOT what the area is called! -"

"BADASS CRATER OF BADASSITUDE."

Patricia sighs, and the echo frequency cuts out. You all begin walking forward. The dark blue sky shines down upon the land. You enter through the gateway, covered in flashing lights, the wall beside it having the word 'TORGUE' painted on the side. As you do so, Torgue continues speaking through the frequency.

"Welcome to the Badass Crater of Badassitude, badass! This is Mister Torgue, broadcastin' to you from deep orbit! If you're here, that means you wanna win our tournament, open a Vault, and earn the title of Number one Badass!"

You look to your friends, smiling with what might just be an overwhelming amount of confidence. But maybe not. They looked excited too. Well, Maya and Salvador did. Kreig was just...Being Kreig. You didn't have a clue what Zer0 was thinking. And Axton? Well, he looked somewhat nervous. You decide you'll ask him what's up later.

"Now, before you get started, you gotta digitally sign our legal waver!"

You all walk up to the contraption, clicking the button. It begins twitching with electricity. You all back up, and suddenly, it explodes! And now, you're kind of on fire. You yell in agony, even though you've experienced it before. It goes away soon enough, and looking beside you, Axton got hit too. Once the two of you are alright, you continue forward.

"Just kidding! F*CK THE LEGAL WAVER! You're in TORGUE LAND now, sucker! Just head to the arena, while I play you a sick guitar solo!"

You all continue forward, waiting in suspense, and suddenly -

"MEEDLYMEEDLYMEEOLYMOWWWWWWW!"

And with that, a shit ton of skags are up ahead. So, you all sprint forward, guns a blazing! You manage to wipe them all out within a few minutes, not too many scratches either.

"Hell yeah!" Axton says, hand up high. You high-five him, grinning. You notice Maya winking at you, but decide not to take note of it.

Walking over to the Catch-A-Ride machine, your vehicle spawns, and you all get inside. Maya was driving, Kreig in the gunner seat. You, Axton, Salvador, and Zer0 crowded into the back, and drove towards the arena.

This was gonna be off the chain.