The breeze blows your hair from where you sit in the back, Zer0 at your side, Salvador across from you, and Axton next to him. You all remain quiet for the most part, listening up as Torgue echoes in again.

"Right now, you're ranked fifty in the badass leaderboards, which puts you behind my grandma but ahead of a guy she gummed to death. IT TOOK SEVERAL HOURS."

You watch as Axton winces, making a more than slightly disturbed facial expression.

"If you want to open that Vault, you got to rise in the leaderboard! Also, you need a sponsor for MOTHERF*CKIN' LEGAL REASONS! Get to the arena and we'll set you up with one!"

With that, Maya parks the car, and does her sweet ass ninja flippy thing. The rest of you get out as well, continuing forward. And, surely enough, you're being attacked right away. Nothing you can't handle, just a bunch of loser enemy dudes. Once you've cleared them out, Torgue returns,

"I probably shoulda set you up with a sponsor beforehand but I am F*CKIN' DISORGANIZED AS SH*T and was busy suplexing a shark wearing a bolo tie when I should have been setting up sponsors. You may ask, 'Who was wearing the bolo tie, you or the shark?'. Answer: YES."

"I was going to complain about him not getting us a sponsor yet, but now I have to know, seriously, which one of them was wearing the bolo tie?" Maya asks, her signature stoic face becoming a wide grin.

"I say it was the shark. That's how he said it, 'A shark wearing a bolo tie.'," Axton declared, crossing his arms.

"No way! He was totally the one. And you're wrong, Mister. He said, 'A shark, wearing a bolo tie when I should have been setting up sponsors," You say, glaring at Axton in a way that was completely and quite obviously fake. You were bad at faking anger. Probably because you were so good at ACTUALLY being angry. And actually being happy. You know, when you were. Like right now, "We don't know WHERE the comma was, JS!"

"What the hell does JS mean?"

"Let me clarify/I think she means 'Just Saying'/It's an acronym," Zer0 says, speaking up for the first time in quite a while.

You don't have time to laugh, because as you take a few steps forward, [sigh], OF COURSE, there's more enemies.

Motherfucker.

"Go get 'em, bot!" You say, summoning Death Trap. He flies forward, smacking some dumbass in his bitch face! HAHA. He was fantastic.

"Ada boy!" You're grinning, as you help finish off the rest – And you can't help but notice that you've earned a couple more stacks. Seriously. How many could you get?

You're all walking again, and of course, Torgue's back.

"You may have noticed that everyone here's trying to kill you. Torgue personnel included. You're WELCOME. I didn't want you to get bored so I was like, 'F*ck it, give everybody guns!'. We've lost like half our workforce in three days, but who gives a F*CK?"

You're all kind of stunned and amused and it's fantastic. You didn't really know who this guy was, but you seriously liked him.

You all walk forward, only to see one of the creepiest looking dudes ever.

"You are now in the presence of greatness."

None of you really say anything to that, so, you move on, just to hear him echocasting.

"Piston's talking to you, baby. I'm pressed with how you're handling yourself out there, Vault Hunter. I hear you need a sponsor, and as it so happens, I need a new apprentice. Come find me at the arena – Just follow the succulent scent of success."

And you all stop, as suddenly, you're watching this shit:

"Piston, what would you say to those who accuse you of cheating – Of rigging fights to gain your number one ranking?"

He laughs, his voice deep and terrifying, replying with, "Well, Jeffery, I guess I'd have to do THIS." And with that, oh. The dude's dead.

Well shit.

" - And then I'd tell them to NEVER! CALL! ME! A! CHEATER!" Aaaand now, he's kicking the dude's dead body, "And you can quote me on that."

You lean towards Axton, and you ask, in a terrified whisper, "Who the fuck is this guy?"

You pretty much accept the mission, and he says something along the lines of, 'Yeah! Let's go in there and kill everyone and open the Vault together!'. Though, the only thing you really get out of it is from Torgue, who says:

"IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IT SEEM LIKE HE'S GONNA BETRAY THE F*CK OUTTA YOU?"

Yeeaaah. Pretty much.

The six of you dash up the ramp, to the Fast Travel Station, and select the Torgue Arena.

Here goes nothing, right?