Remus paced back and forth along the seventh floor corridor, trying to calm his nerves. It was the afternoon of his first transformation at Hogwarts. He had to be in Dumbledore's office in precisely 15 minutes.

So many things could go wrong.

What if he hurt someone? What if he hurt himself? What if even the Whomping Willow couldn't detain him? What if someone saw? What if James and Sirius got suspicious? What if he didn't make it to the Shrieking Shack on time? The werewolf's thoughts were interrupted when his friends came bursting out of the portrait hole.

Unicorn turds! What if they see me? I need to hide. Remus panicked. He turned around and ran inside the first door he spotted.

The door led, of course, to the Room of Requirement. The young boy's first thought was what a great place this would make for hide-and-seek. Then he remembered the predicament he was in. Remus pressed his ear against the door, waiting for the pair to leave. They can't see me! I'm supposed to be at my mother's house! He listened.

"Was that Remus?" It was James who asked the question.

"Couldn't have been. He's at his mums. She's sick, remember?"

"Oh, right."

"Wanna go sneak into the girl's loo?"

"Would I ever not?" James replied. Remus heard footsteps, and new the pair was gone. He exited the room, turning around to see the door shut behind him, and then slowly fade into the wall.

What in the name of Merlin's best hat was that all about? Not the door of course. Remus was used to seeing furniture behaving oddly, even after just a few days at the school. But the girl's loo?

They were supposed to be doing that together! Disappointment flooded the boy. He had really wanted to see what it looked like. Was it true that there were no urinals?

Never mind that! 10 minutes left to get to Dumbledore's office! Remus hurried off.

James and Sirius found the entrance to the bathroom still panting, having just raced down five flights of stairs from Gryffindor Tower.

"Here we are!" Sirius waved his arms in triumph. James shushed him.

"It's alright, nobody can punish us for being outside the loo! We're only in trouble if we get caught inside," the boy retorted, although he did lower his voice to a whisper.

"We need to wait and make sure nobody is in there," James said.

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"Well isn't it obvious?"

"Not really…"

James sighed and pulled a parcel from his pocket. "Alberic Grunnion, inventor of the dungbomb, may he forever be remembered as one of the greatest heroes."

"Amen."

James handed the package ceremoniously to Sirius, who then unwrapped it and tossed it into the room. The bomb went off, causing a single sobbing girl to emerge, still crying hysterically. Her red hair trailed behind her as she ran off, searching for a less smelly place of solace.

"Was that Lily?" James called after her. He turned to Sirius and muttered, "How can she actually be sad? I mean, has she seen the food here?"

Sirius guffawed, then entered to lavatory and gestured for James to follow. "It's okay," he said, "There's no one in here. Actually hold on, there's some- no wait, just a ghost!"

"Well, if it isn't some ickle firsties," the transparent figure cried with glee, "and I'm not a ghost. I'll have you know that I am a poltergeist," he said puffing out his chest.

"A polterge- hang on, I know who you are! Bella's always complaining about you! You put gum in her hair. You're the one who…" Sirius went on to describe the poltergeist's many feats, his eyes wide with admiration. "I've always wanted to meet you. James and I could only hope to follow in your footsteps."

"That's correct. It is indeed I, Peeves," he said with a bow. "And of course, this is my lovely girlfriend Myrtle." He pointed to a nearby stall, out of which another ghost emerged. "Most people call her Moaning Myrtle of course."

The Gryffindors resisted the urge to chuckle at the nickname, as a thousand and one dirty jokes raced through their minds.

"Shut up, Peeves! I'm not your stupid girlfriend. Get out of my latrine!" Myrtle exited the loo indignantly.

"She'll come around," Peeves told the boys. "Now, you were saying?"

Sirius proposed a deal. The Marauders had quite a few pranks to pull, but finding a way past the caretaker would be an issue. They'd been caught once before. The boys would need guidance. They wanted Peeves to teach them.

"Alright, ickle firsties, I'll help. But I'm gonna require some help in return."

That's right guys, your (favorite?) fanfiction is back!

JK Rowling still owns it though.

I hope you enjoyed it!