This chapter is potentially not as good as it could be, I just really, really want to get past it. In all honestly I didn't really think much into the age different of the main character and the love interest so this is my hastily thrown together attempt at reasoning. Also I've taken slight liberties with Thorin's age and am making him about 175 instead of 195! My apologies, lets just forget about it shall we? Good. Hope you like it and please review!

Chapter 6

The next day of travelling goes much the same as the day before it, though Thorin and I do not argue over the needs of my bladder - Instead he decides to complain about how it is inappropriate for one such as myself to teach Fili, Kili and Ori my 'travel games'. This includes eye-spy, though they already know it as 'What I see', which is not nearly as good a name – along with the word association game.

I think this is the real reason why Thorin is annoyed with me, he's not a fan of this game. The word association game, for those of you that don't know it, is where you pick a word – lets say tree- and then the next person has to say the first thing that comes into their head relating to that word. A little something like this: Tree, leaf, green, grass, blah blah blah. It's one of those games you play on really boring car journeys on the way to see your great aunt Marge who lives at the arse end of the world.

Really I'd just wanted a way to pass the time, but apparently that's not allowed either!

Not to mention Fili and Kili are not very good at it.

They get distracted too easily. I will say tree, Ori will say Maple and Fili will say Oak so Kili will launch into a story about Thorin Oakenshield. It gets to a point where I leave them to it, tentatively nudging Betty forwards and away from Fili's retelling of when he and Kili were younger and trying to catch frogs. I don't even know how they got onto that one.

Unfortunately my leaving them bought me closer to where Thorin and Balin rode. The king under the mountain glances over his shoulder, pausing for a moment as he sees me.

"You should not encourage such juvenile games with Fili and Kili," He tells me, turning back to face where he is going. "Your time would be better spent learning the language of your people."

"It's just a game," I snort, rolling my eyes. This guy is such a wet blanket. "Besides, I don't think I've ever met guys as childish as them!"

I know some pretty immature people, but Fili and Kili take the cake, hands down.

"My nephews are still young, capable but inexperienced," Thorin says, looking back at me again, his pony slowing slightly. "You on the other hand are old enough to know better."

I squint at him. What's that supposed to mean!

"They aren't that young!" I say.

"Fili is 80 and Kili is only 75," Thorin says, shaking his head slightly. "The only reason they were permitted to join our quest is because they are of Durin's line."

I should have answered him, but I think my jaw was still trailing along the floor at this point. What. The. Fuck? Fili and Kili are both well on their way to being 100 years old? They look about 25!

"Are you okay, Miss Harker?" Balin asks, also slowing his pony.

I am not sure I am, no.

"Are you shitting me?" I question, looking between the two of them in disbelief. My phrasing has them stumped, but right now I could care less. "They're 80 and 75?!"

"Aye, though they act as though they are still 50 and 45!" Balin says, giving a mirthful chuckle. Oh yes, 30 years ago, back when they were still kids. What the hell is going on here?

"As I say, they are still young," Thorin almost sighs, as if his nephews pranks are a source of physical pain for him. "They seem fond of you- (there is an unspoken 'though I don't know why') – so perhaps you could try not to embolden their antics."

"I- uh..." More intelligent conversation from yours truly.

I have this sinking feeling in my stomach, as if I'm not quite getting something about this conversation. You know, like something should be clicking, a final piece to a puzzle but hell if know what it is. Obviously I am still giving off a confused vibe, thankfully, Balin is here fill in the blanks and to plunge me into a deeper depression.

"I think what Thorin is trying to say, lassie, is that as you might be a good influence on them," He smiles at me. "You've proven yourself to be... strong willed -" His eyes flick to Thorin so quickly that I think I might have imagined it for a moment. "- It may benefit them to have an older female presence on our quest, their mother has al-"

"Sorry, just how old do you think I am, exactly?" I cut him off, my eyebrows drawing down.

It seems that, no matter what world you're in, men are always hesitant to comment on a woman's age. Even Thorin looks as if he'd rather fight an orc pack than answer.

"What do you mean, lass?" Balin asks, feigning ignorance.

"How. Old. Do. You. Think. I. Am?" I grind out. I have a very sneaking suspicion that I'm not going to like the answer. If I ever get one that is.

These guys are planning to face a dragon but won't tell a chick how old they think she is? Good luck with Smaug boys!

"Well I-" Balin starts. "That is to say I-"

"Kili!" I shout. I am impressed that I manage to get Betty to turn around without much effort on my part. She just sort of huffs and makes a 180. The dark haired 75 year old boy looks up with a guilty expression, as if he's done something wrong and he's been expecting to get into trouble about it for a while. I motion for him to join me and he nudges his pony forwards till he's beside me.

"Kili, how old do you think I am?" I ask him. He blinks, obviously not what he'd been expecting.

Perhaps it was unfair of me to ask him, but I know that out of everyone in the company Kili is the least likely to see anything other than a simple question and therefore give me an honest answer. Thorin mutters something behind me, possibly trying to delay his nephews answer. That doesn't work.

"I don't know," He answers with a shrug. "140?"

There is a sigh from behind me, Balin I think, since Thorin is groaning.

"140?" I repeat, he nods and tilts his head to the side, doing a pretty good impression of Mal at his hungriest. I nod too, more because I don't know what else to say, my brain has lost all thought except that number.

"Why do you ask?" Kili questions, still drawing a blank.

"Nothing, Kili," I say faintly, shaking my head. "Excuse me, I- uh – I need to talk to Gandalf."

Betty is sensitive to my light jabs as I spur her back down the line to where the Wizard is riding along with Nori and Gloin. The ginger haired dwarf sees me coming and nudges Nori, the two of them quickly make themselves scarce. Even Mal decides it's probably best to hang back.

"Ah, Rachel my dear, whatever is the matter?" The human asks, smiling at me with those annoyingly kind eyes.

"You didn't think to mention that I'm 140 years old?" I hiss.

"Closer to 145, I'd say," He says cheerily. I splutter. "I am sorry my dear, but I'm not sure I understand what's wrong."

"I'm not 145!" I snap, allowing my hands to remove themselves from the reins in favour of pulling my hair out. "I'm twenty-fucking-three!"

"Are you really?" Gandalf sounds perplexed by my statement. "How very strange."

"Why is this happening to me?" I groan, just managing to stop myself from rocking back and forth in the saddle, for fear of falling out.

"Come now, Miss Harker, surely it's not all bad?" The wizard asks.

How can this not be all bad?

"How is it good? Not only have I somehow been forced into a different bloody world, but now I've apparently aged 120 odd years!" I say, almost in tears. "I've lost so many years of my life in less than a fucking day!"

If Gandalf is appalled by my language he doesn't say anything, which, considering how I feel right now, is probably a good thing. I don't need him trying to wash my mouth out with soap.

He hmm's for a moment, blinking.

"Have you really?" He asks, almost to himself. "Dwarfs live extraordinarily long lives, some to the age of 400, though that really is quite exceptional. Even at 145 you still have a plenty of time to live, certainly longer than you would as a human."

I'm not sure if this is meant to make me feel better, but he does make an interesting point. I sit back, confused about what I'm supposed to be feeling right now – it probably goes without saying that I've never been in this situation before.

It sounds strange, doesn't it, that I go from being a 23 year old human to a 145 year old dwarf – but this isn't really a regular day at the park, is it? I guess I sort of knew something was different, I mean I do look a little older - but I thought that was just universe travel fatigue or something. Apparently not. I certainly don't feel 140! I have a theory though, if you want to hear it?

Well it's my story so you don't get a choice.

I think that maybe, the world of Middle-Earth exists parallel to my earth and that the people living in my earth are mirrored somehow in this universe. Perhaps this body, Rachel Harker the dwarf, existed before I even got here? Under a different name maybe? I don't know. It's just a guess. Might explain why Mal didn't change at all – they don't have German Shepherds here, so he just turned up as he was.

Maybe that's completely wrong, and I'm just the unluckiest person in all of history.

Right, sorry, back to the story.

"I'm still unsure how you came to be in Middle-Earth," Gandalf continues, patting me as he rides past. "Perhaps you were sent here for a purpose, perhaps you arrived quite by accident – either way it does seem a shame to waste your time here worrying over things you cannot change."

He leave me then, humming under his breath as a mull over my new predicament. I stay to the back of the group for the rest of the days travel, sulking to myself and contemplating the fact that I am actually a legitimate adult in the world of Middle-Earth.

By the time Thorin allows us to make camp for the night I am in no mood to socialise with the rest of the company. Not only am I still confused and angry with my ageing situation, but I am also sore from another day of being in the saddle.

I stand well back with Bilbo, out of the way of the others who know what they're doing as they set up camp. The Hobbit is rocking back and forth on his feet, once again looking as if he wants to help but not sure what he can do. I'm not interested in even offering my assistance today, I just want to have something to eat and go to bed.

I'm not the only one who feels like this it seems, since as soon as dinner is all finished and squared away, most of the company lie down and are instantly throwing up the Z's. Gandalf, along with Fili and Kili -who are keeping watch- are the exception. Oh, and me too.

I can't sleep, no matter which way I turn or how many times I count backwards from a hundred. There are too many thoughts swirling around my head, too many questions I want answers for and I can't shut them out. I groan to myself and push up into a sitting position. Mal raises his head sleepily, realises I'm not leaving and flops back down at my feet. Lucky bastard. Mal can sleep anywhere, any time.

Apparently I'm not the only one who can't sleep though. Bilbo is standing a little off to the side, discreetly feeding an apple to his pony. He gets on a lot better with Myrtle than I do with Betty it would seem. The hobbit seems quite content, patting Myrtle's nose and whispering quietly to her – until a screech-like howl echoes through the night.

Malik is on his feet in seconds, letting out a low rumble of his own as he leaps over myself and the other sleeping dwarfs to the edge of the outcrop we are camping on. Ears pricked, tail up, he paces back and forwards as another skin crawling keen comes to us on the wind.

"What was that?" Bilbo asks, pointing out over the edge.

"Orcs." Kili says slowly, seriously. I'm sure you all remember where we are now.

"Orcs?" Bilbo repeats as he skips nervously over to the fireside. Thorin, who had until this point been cat napping against a large rock, jerks awake. Glancing around slightly as if unsure what had woken him. His eyes meet mine and I can't help the smirk that spreads over my face. His expression bares a striking resemblance to Mal's when he surprises himself with a sneeze.

"Throat cutters," Fili clarifies, filling his pipe. "They'll be dozens of them out there. The lowlands are crawling with them."

Bilbo's face. I shouldn't laugh. Really.

I get up, snorting into my sleeve and grab hold of Mal, who is still patrolling back and forth along the drop.

"They strike in the wee small hours, when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams," Kili says darkly from behind me. "Just lots of blood."

I glance back over my shoulder just in time to see the two heirs of the Durin line share a cheeky grin with each other, chuckling.

"You think that's funny?" Thorin's voice rumbles as he gets to his feet. Bilbo turns back and frowns, realising. "You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?"

Well not any more they don't!

"We didn't mean anything by it." Kili says quietly, looking suitably unhappy. Thorin stalks past them with a grim look.

"No you didn't," He replies. "You know nothing of the world."

Well. That was certainly an awkward moment to witness. Both Fili and Kili are now refusing to look anywhere but at their own feet and Sir-Broods-a-Lot has gone off in a disappointed huff.

Malik, oblivious to the drama happening behind him, refuses to leave his new guard post, and I don't feel like arguing with him. I sit down, my legs dangling over the edge of the rock so that I can stare out at the nightscape. The moon is illuminating everything in silver, and I've got to admit it actually looks quite nice, despite the occasional orc howl being thrown in.

"Don't mind him laddie," Balin starts to speak behind me, moving out of the shadows at the edge of the camp. "Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs."

Not that it takes much to hate orcs.

"After the dragon took the Lonely Mountain, King Thror tried to reclaim the ancient dwarf kingdom of Moria," The old dwarf began."But our enemy had got there first."

Probably just as well, considering that big fiery bastard is holidaying in there somewhere.

Mal finally came to a stop and sat beside me, leaning into me and almost pushing me off the bloody cliff. He forgets that I'm small now. I divided my attention between listening to Balin and running a hand through the thick fur on Mal's side.

"Moria had been taken by legions of orcs, lead by the most vile of all their race," Balin remembered, his eyes seeing something no one else could. "Azog, the Defiler!"

Cue intense instrumental.

"The giant Gundabad Orc had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin," Balin said. I glanced back. Bilbo looked both fascinated and appalled by the story, his gaze flicking from Balin then over to the form of Thorin, who stood at the edge of camp, eyes fixed on the sky. "He began.. by beheading the king."

Ouch.

"Thrain, Thorin's father, was driven mad by grief," Balin said. Can't really blame the guy. "He went missing, taken prisoner or killed, we did not know."

Now that sucks, (oh, hello understatement of the year) having your grandfather beheaded and your dad go MIA all in one day?

"We were leaderless. Defeat and death were upon us. That is when I saw him," No prizes for guessing this one guys. The old dwarf smiled, turning his head to look at Thorin. "A young dwarf prince, facing down the Pale Orc! He stood alone, against this terrible foe." Pause for dramatic effect. "His armour rent, wielding nothing but an oaken branch as a shield!"

Fili and Kili are completely rapt by the retelling, though I've no doubt that they've heard it a thousand times before. Bilbo looks a little overwhelmed. You and me both mate.

"Azog the Defiler learned that day, that the Line of Durin would not be so easily broken," Balin said proudly. There is a longer pause in which Balin is lost in thought before he continues on. "Our forces rallied and drove the orcs back! Our enemy, had been defeated!" He said finally, his eyes sad. "But there was no feast, nor song that night, for our dead were beyond the count of grief. We few had survived."

Several of the dwarves have woken up during the retelling of the Battle of Azanulbizar, and were now standing, watching Thorin. Little weird if you ask me, but I still don't really get this dwarf thing yet.

Inwardly however, I was shitting myself. This battle sounded awful – this kind of fight just doesn't happen in my world, right? And here I am, smack bang in the middle of it. Good job Rachel, no, really, great work.

"And I thought to myself then," Balin said, nodding. "There is one who I could follow, there is one I could call King."

At these words Thorin turns, his eyes shining in the darkness as he faces his company. He starts forwards, moving between them to return to his bed roll.

"But the Pale Orc," Bilbo interjects, looking between Balin and Thorin quickly. "What happened to him?"

"He slunk back into the hole whence he came," Thorin's voice sounded harsh compared to the gentler Balin. "That filth died of his wounds long ago."

Well, he was half right at least. I'm sure he did slink back into his hole at some point.

Gradually the company returned to sleep, though Gandalf remained awake, puffing on his pipe in the darkness and thinking wizardy thoughts.

I stayed with Mal, perched on the edge as I tried to puzzle out just what I was doing here and how on Middle-Earth I was going to survive to the end.

So there you have it! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed for the last chapter and followers/favourites! Little bit more exciting in the next chapter I hope! Please review, thanks for reading!