A little bit early, but that's how I like it.

Big shout out to a reviewer, who helped me with a stuff up I made over the GL toxin. Check out the revised edition in the last chapter, if you haven't read it. All credit goes to them for poin ting it out, and helping me fix the problem.

Just goes to show, I listen to reviews! If you have a problem with the fic, message me, review and I will check it out.

Also, in response to a question, I chose Earthborn because I liked the possibiltities that it represented. All that unknown history... who knows how Shepard really grew up... except, well, me.

Without anymore delays... Chapter 5!

(I own nothing)

Chapter 5: Truth

Derek Cresswall had been the owner of the Lanterns Bar for two years. The bar itself had been in his family for well over five generations. Derek had grown up in Vancouver and since his teenage years, had worked in the family business after school every day. His father was a tough man, used to the rough and tumble attitude of the Alliance Marines that poured into the pub after their day had finished at the Alliance HQ just up the strip, or the ones who had just finished a rotation and spent their first night on shore leave getting hammered.

Derek Senior had nothing but contempt for the marines themselves. A former navy marine himself, he was a captain serving under General Williams when Shanxi had been surrendered. And like all the senior officers at Shanxi, he had been shunted and forcibly retired after First Contact ended. He had fallen from being one of the youngest captains in the Alliance's history, to be left with no future and no income. The only way he could support himself was by entering, and eventually overtaking the family business.

And so he grew bitter, watching from the sidelines as marines passed through his doors, idealistic and young, changing the galaxy while he remained stagnant.

He tried to imprint his views onto Derek, raising him alone as Derek's mother had died, but despite his warnings of the untrustworthiness of the Alliance, Derek grew enamoured with the soldier's bravado.

On the day Derek decided to enlist, his father refused to speak to him. And so, over the years that followed, through Derek's training and graduation, and eventual postings, Derek didn't speak to his father.

When the Reaper's hit Vancouver, Derek had been stationed on the SSV Paris under Admiral Hackett's command. He still remembered watching the footage of Alliance HQ being hit, but unlike his fellow officers, Derek had eyes only for the small bar, being crushed underneath exploding rubble.

By the time the war had ended, Derek had scoured through thousands of names, hoping beyond hope, that his estranged father was still alive. When he finally made it back to Vancouver, Derek found out the truth.

His father had survived the initial assault, and he had joined the resistance movement. He managed to stay alive, and according to a report, he was responsible for the liberation of twelve prisoner camp deep within Reaper territory.

His father had survived, until the last day of the war. He was part of Hammer Team, the final assault on the Reaper's beam. He didn't make it to see Earth free.

And Derek had never gotten the chance, to make amends.

The only thing he had left from his father was the bar.

His father had never changed his will, and even though the bar no longer existed, Derek was determined to honour his father's final gift.

He had rebuilt it, and it had once again the most popular spot for shore leave on the strip.

And a photo of Derek's dad, hung on the wall for all to see and remember, that during the darkest of times, even the most unlikely of men will rise to face the challenge.

But regret is a powerful poison.

And it was because of this regret, that Derek was sitting a four in the morning drinking at his own bar.

And because he was drinking he had forgotten to lock the door.

And that was how Commander Shepard walked into his bar, and ordered a drink.

Talk about the butterfly effect.

Shepard rested his head against the counter, and gestured for another drink.

He heard the barman pour another glass and place next to his ear.

He grunted in thanks.

He was surprised that a The Lantern was open at this time of the night. He remembered that after basic, he and a few of his friends had come here. It had been run by a grumpy older man, who never left his office. But Shepard recognised the new owner as on of the young teens who had served food to the marines.

He had been wide eyed, and in awe of all the stories that the soldiers would speak of after their rotation ended.

But when Shepard had walked in here, the man was sitting alone, nursing a bottle and glass of Batarian Ale. He looked up when he heard Shepard enter, but instead of kicking him, out he had wordlessly given up his stool, and poured Shepard a drink with a quiet 'it's on the house.'

The war had done this to people.

The council and the New Alliance, could talk up the new start as much as they wanted, but it would take more than newly colonized worlds and treaties to heal the wounds that had been left behind.

Shepard lifted his head only to slam down another drink and continue to roll in sorrow.

Why did the problems never end for him? Nothing he did, no matter how hard he fought, there was always another one waiting to ruin his life.

And it was always his own fucking fault.

Earlier that day

Ashley was fuming. She had rushed home with an overanxious James at her side. The get to Vancouver on such short notice, they had to be transferred through five commercial spaceports. At the last spaceport, their shuttle was cancelled and the only reason they were here at all was because James had a contact that was shipping used skycars back to Vancouver.

Ashley was frustrated, tired and angry. After spending the past day and a half with an increasingly fatigued baby, and Kaidan she was at her wits end. Not to mention that she had no idea what the hell had happened to Shepard, and why all of the Normandy crew had been recalled.

He was alive at least. She knew he was alive.

They must have made a sight when they arrived at HQ. A dishevelled Ashley, an exhausted tattooed man and a screaming baby.

The receptionist looked up at them with an arched eyebrow, as Ashley banged her hands down on the desk.

'Would be so kind, as to tell me where Commander Shepard is?'

'And you are?'

Ashley's demeanour darkened further as a fierce scowl overcame her face. James cracked his knuckles menacingly.

'I'm his wife, Lieutenant Commander Ashley Shepard, and if you don't tell me where my husband is in five seconds, I swear to God I will make what happened to the Reaper's look like a picnic.'

The receptionist paled in recognition and quickly gestured for a security guard.

'Of course Lieutenant Commander, Private Fredericks will escort you.'

Ashley didn't bother to say goodbye as she followed the fast moving Private walked down one of the corridors.

She and James had been ushered into a large conference room. The rest of the Normandy crew were all there. Liara, Miranda, Jack, Garrus, Tali, Zaeed, Kasumi, Grunt, Jacob, Joker, EDI, Samara, Cortez and Traynor were all grouped by one of the large windows overlooking the bay.

They looked up at James and Ashley's entrance, but Ashley didn't have time to look up in greeting.

She quickly placed a snoozing Kaidan into James's arms and rounded on the fresh faced Private who had led them here.

'As I can't see my husband anywhere in this room, I wouldn't be taking a stab in the dark at assuming that he is not here.' She questioned with a rage.

The Private quickly answered.

'No ma'am. Commander Shepard is currently being debriefed by the Admirals. I was instructed to take you here, to wait until they have finished.'

And so, Ashley and the crew had been stuck waiting in this room for two hours while Shepard was in his meeting, only able to speculate as to what the hell was going on.

James was asleep next to her. But she was too anxious to give into her own exhaustion.

The rest of the crew had long given up on trying to talk to her. After the first few attempts and inevitable snarls, they decided that they would better leave her alone and instead remained near the window whispering.

James had been the only one insane enough to brave Ashley's temper, and although she had shot him a nasty look when he had first sat down, she was grateful for his silent companionship.

That was, until he started snoring.

Miranda had taken control of Kaidan, and while Ashley would never be best friends with the ex-Cerberus operative, she couldn't deny that Kaidan adored her.

But with the absence of Kaidan, the only Ashley had left to occupy her time, was her consuming worry and fear over what exactly had happened to Shepard.

The door to the room opened and the same Private called for them to follow him out of the room.

Ashley hung back as the rest of the crew surged forward, James with a yawn.

He led them down another corridor that opened up into a large, senate like room.

Shepard was at the other end of the room. Admiral's Hackett, Pritchard and Calaway were standing opposite him. Shepard looked haggard, as if he had aged ten years since Ashley had last seen him. The Admiral's kept their features composed, but Ashley could tell that they were worried about something.

Catcalls of his name caused Shepard to look up at the group. His face lit up when Miranda placed, a now sleeping Kaidan in his arms, and his eyes searched for Ashley.

He found her at the back of the group, her eyes boring into his, an unspoken question passed between them. But as quick as the question was asked, Shepard averted his gaze guiltily.

'What's going on Shepard?' Garrus asked, demanding Shepard's attention.

Shepard glanced quickly at the Admirals before gesturing for all the crew to sit in the vacant seats.

With one final glance at Ashley, who had seated herself as far away from him as possible, he launched into his story, explaining everything, from his attempted mugging, recognition of the gang, and the eventual factory explosion.

There was a silence following his reveal of Cerberus' involvement before Tali questioned.

'How big is this threat exactly from Cerberus?'

'Big' he answered grimly. 'Just from the data we have been able to have analysed, they have over twenty active bases all over the galaxy, and only three of them we were able to locate.'

He looked around the silent group and Ashley's downturned face before continuing.

'The reason I called you all hear, is because we all understand how big this is. If Cerberus has managed to stay alive even after everything we put them through, then they are more than dangerous. This could potentially be one of the biggest crime syndicates this galaxy has ever seen. And if anyone knows how to stop them, it's us. I need you guys behind me to do this. They have to be finished.'

He paused.

'This has to end.'

The crew only had eyes for Shepard, he was pleading with them.

Admiral Hackett coughed, drawing the silent crew's attention.

'The admiralty board are in agreement. We have given Shepard leave to go ahead with an operation to find, and destroy, Cerberus. But it will be strictly covert. And for that, he has been reinstated as the commanding officer of the Normandy.'

The eyes of the crew once again shifted to Shepard.

'I need to do this guys. It has to be me. And I know I could do this with any other crew, but I need the best. And you, are the best.'

Garrus exchanged a look with Tali, before walking towards a stricken Shepard and placing his talon on Shepard's shoulder.

'We're with you Shepard. Remember, there is no Shepard without Mr and Mrs Vakarian.'

Shepard smiled in gratitude as other members of the crew murmured their assent.

'Well of course we are going' Joker exclaimed sarcastically gesturing to EDI 'You'd be stealing our home otherwise.'

'It will be interesting to travel with you again Shepard. You have my oath' said Samara, one hand placed on her heart.

'Can't expect you to survive long without this old bastard' exclaimed Zaeed. 'I'm in.'

'Me too' Kasumi nodded.

Traynor and Cortez spoke as one 'I'm in.'

'I'm sure I could manage my affairs aboard the Normandy as well as any other place' Liara said with a sidelong glance at a nodding Miranda. 'Besides, any information I come up with could be useful.'

James merely grinned. 'Hell yeah I'm in! An old man like you, needs some new N7 blood!'

Jacob shook his head silently. 'Brynn won't like it... but she will understand. I'm in.'

Shepard felt tears come to his eyes. The sight of so many crew members nodding their assent.

'Thank you' was all he was able to choke out.

'So' James said awkwardly, seeing Shepard's teary face. 'When do we leave.'

Admiral Hackett answered.

'0800 tomorrow, docking bay E67. Private Fredericks will show you were you are staying for the night.'

The crew murmured farewell to Shepard as they followed the Admiral's and the private out of the room.

The door closed with a resounding click that echoed around the room, the silence only interrupted by Kaidan snoring in Shepard's arms.

Shepard braced himself for the inevitable, but when he raised his head to look around the room, Ashley was already gone.

Shepard walked along the corridor to his assigned room, to find the door unlocked. He entered inside quietly, to find Ashley sitting on the couch, surrounded by unopened luggage. She looked up as Shepard entered and wordlessly raised herself to take Kaidan from his arms, and went to the bedroom.

She returned empty handed to stare at Shepard.

She looked so blank, as if all the light had been sucked out of her.

'What are we supposed to do Jay, while you go gallivanting around the galaxy?' she questioned coldly.

Shepard made as if to move towards her, but she shrunk away. His outstreatched hands dropped wordlessly to his sides.

'Come with me.' He pleaded quietly.

'Me and a baby on the Normandy? That's crazy.' She stated bluntly.

Shepard's mouth moved limply for a few moments.

'Please.' He finally whispered.

She considered him.

'Why?'

'Because' he answered 'They are targeting me, and if they are targeting me, they might be-'

'Targeting us' she finished.

A silence hung between them, before she braved the question.

'Why were you really down in the slums?'

'I told you. I was there following up a lead-'

'Don't give me that bullshit' she snapped. 'I know you. You may have been following up a lead, but you would have told someone if it was as simple as that. The only time you do something as dumb as this alone, is when it involves family. Or maybe your past' she finished.

He didn't answer her, and her mouth set in a grim line. She turned on her heel, ready to walk into the bedroom, but Shepard grabbed her hand before she could take one step and turned her back to face him.

She was ready to launch an angry insult into his face, but she stopped when he placed a finger over her lips.

He stared into her eyes for a long few seconds before letting go of her hand, and walking towards the window facing over the bay.

His posture slipped, and he resigned himself to telling her the truth.

The day was clear and the sky a brilliant blue. They didn't normally get to make it out of the slums, and Isaac was sucking his thumb and clutching at Jarryd's leg, unsure of what to do when surrounded by all the strange looking children.

They had come to an upper city park. There were a lot of strange people in it, at least thats what Jarryd thought when he saw the little blue girl running around with other nicely dressed children.

He wasn't old enough to recognize the difference in class, but he knew that he was different to these children. They had shoes for starters.

'Jay.' His little brother whined, one thumb still in his mouth. 'I wanna play with them.' He continued, pointing at the little blue girl.

Jarryd shook his head at his brother.

'We can't Izzy. You have to play with me instead! How about... Humans and Terians! I'll be the terian, and you can shot my metal head off!'

His brother smiled, the gaps in his front teeth standing out.

'Yeah! Yeah! I get to shoot your silly head off! Bang! Bang!' he squealed chasing Jarryd through the park and around the other children eyeing them with disdain.

But Jarryd didn't care, as long as Isaac was happy, he was happy too.

A silent tear ran down Shepard's face as he remembered. He turned back to Ashley.

'I have... I had, a brother. His name was Isaac.'

Ashley was hit by his revealation, but Shepard continued.

'I was a prominent member of the Reds before I joined the Alliance. And we used to get on fine, but then... something happened. I got more involved with the Reds, I owed them, and Isaac... became an addict.'

He looked down, unable meet her eyes.

'When I joined the Alliance... I broke contact with him. I don't know why I went back there. After the war, I put a few feelers out. Nobody alive knew where he was, maybe he isn't alive himself. I just... I don't know.'

He looked back up, expecting Ashley to be angry with him, but instead saw tears pouring down her face.

'After... after everything... After your death, after Horizon, after the Reaper's... You still didn't trust me enough to tell me this.' She said looking at him in horror.

'Who are you?' she whispered.

He stared after her as she turned back to the bedroom. She stopped at the door.

'I don't know if we will go with you Shepard. I don't know if I can trust you anymore'

'Ashley-'he started.

She turned and shook her head.

'Don't. Just don't. I don't want you here tonight Shepard. Go and chase your past alone'

And so, he was here in this bar. Getting smashed and wallowing in sorrow.

He remembered Shiala from Feros had once asked him 'is it always like this? Yesterday's problems lingering on in some new form?'

If he could answer her now, it would be abso-fucking-lutely.

He groaned once again against the countertop.

Why couldn't anything ever, just be solved?

'Family troubles Commander' a familiar british accented voice questioned.

Shepard turned his head on the bar, to see the familiar figure of Doctor Chakwas sitting next to him.

He straightened up unsteadily.

'Doctor? What are you doing here?'

She gazed critically at the bottles lined up on the back of the bar, before pointing out a familiarly labelled Serrice Ice Brandy to the barman.

As he got it down for her, she answered Shepard's question.

'If you weren't so drunk, you would remember that you recalled all of the Normandy crew, not just the ground team. We 'non-essential' staff were debriefed by the admiral's, it seems while you were trolling the strip for alcohol.' She stated frankly, eyeing Shepard's dishevelled appearance.

Shepard nodded his head in acceptance at her thinly veiled criticism. It was true, after he had been given the boot from their room, Shepard had been dropping from bar to bar in search of the best way to drown his sorrows.

'After the trauma you went through at that factory, any medical professional would strongly advise against excessive drinking. However, in this case... I believe I am sitting here in my capacity as a friend, rather than a doctor.' She continued, before pouring herself a glass of brandy.

'And what exactly are you doing here Karin? I would have thought you would be sleeping before the launch tomorrow.' He questioned, abandoning his ale for the brandy as well.

'No doubt I am here for the same reason you are Shepard.' She raised her glass for a toast. 'To family.'

He clinked his glass with her's and gave her a steady look while she continued.

'You know Shepard, I have never lacked for friendship. You, Joker and all those on the Normandy have been the best of friends. But family... family was a skill I never seemed to be able to master.'

She gazed off into the distance, with a look Shepard knew all to well. Regret.

'I was married once you know, a long time ago. We were young, both studying at Cambridge. I thought he was the most poetic man I had ever known. Andrew and I, were married under London Bridge, he looked into my eyes and promised me that he would love me forever.'

She slammed down another glass, poured another and then continued.

'I was the one to end it. I was on a scholarship program with the Alliance see, and after I had finished my required years I decided to stay. Oh the thrill of it Shepard, a young, idealistic doctor, looking to save the galaxy and revel in the romance of it, what time did I have for my quiet husband waiting for me back on Earth.'

A quiet tear slipped from her eye.

'I left. He didn't want a divorce, he still loved me, but I thought I had stopped loving him. But over the years, I realised how wrong I was Shepard. Loneliness creeps up on you Shepard, and one day it is just there. But until the day I found out Earth was attacked, I never realised just how much I still loved him. When the war was finished, I looked for him. I found out that he had died in the first wave.'

She slumped on her stool and Shepard raised a consoling hand onto her shaking shoulder. She lifted herself up giving him a weak smile.

'He left a message for me in his will you know. All his books, his poetry were mine. And he said that he had always loved me.'

She gazed at Shepard who was once again, staring into the depths of his glass.

'Don't make the same mistake I did Shepard.'

He turned to her, his own gaze red-rimmed.

'How do you know I am making a mistake' he croaked out hoarsely.

'Because Shepard, before I came here, I looked for you in your rooms and Ashley confessed to me what had happened. Don't worry, I will not tell anyone. But you should know, that that woman loves you more than you could possibly understand.'

He sat for a moment in silence, before the until then silent bartender spoke.

'For what it is worth Commander, I would give everything I have, to have the chance to speak to my dad just one more time. Don't wait until what you love is gone before making peace.' The man finished before walking into the back room.

Shepard followed him with his eyes, before turning back to the doctor, who was making ready to leave.

'She said she won't come on the Normandy. What if this is it?' he questioned.

Chakwas just gave him a knowing smile before walking out of the bar.

'Sometimes Jarryd, you just have to have a little faith.'

'I thought you said you would never call me by my first name.'

She looked at him before closing the bar door.

'Times change.'

It was 0755 the next morning, and still no sign of Ashley of Kaidan.

Shepard had made his way straight here last night, and had slept restfully in the loft wondering if Ashley was going to turn up. So far, everyone else was already on board, finding and organising were they were going to stay.

But Shepard didn't spend long greeting them, and had instead returned to his post next to the cargo doors watching, waiting and hoping that Ashley would turn up.

'She'll be here' James said eyeing a jumpy Shepard from over at his familiar place near the armoury

'Who? What? What?' Shepard stuttered out.

James merely rolled his, and returned to cleaning his gun.

Shepard was shaking. He couldn't do this without Ash. He couldn't be alone. But what if she didn't come, what then.

It was in mid pace, that he saw her. She was pushing Kaidan in a pram across the docking bay and was surrounded by dock workers carrying luggage.

He merely stared at her in shock as she walked on board the ship, ordering the exact placement of all her belongings. It was only after all the crew, and a grinning James, had scattered from the cargo hold that she turned the pram towards Shepard.

Kaidna giggled at his father's shell shocked face, as Ashley turned to him with a scowl and a raised finger.

'If you think, for one second, that I am not mad then you are dead wrong.'

She continued to glare up at him before continuing.

'But I made a vow, for better or for worse. Plus someone needs to keep an eye on you.'

With a huff, she turned into the elevator and pressed the button to the Captain's Cabin.

Just before the doors closed she said.

'But you're sleeping on the couch!'

Shepard couldn't help the grin that overcame his face.

Oh how he loved Ashley.

So what do we think my evil minions?

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