Chapter 5

"We have to tell the boys," Troy said quietly as we walked into our house. "They have to know."

"Do we have to do it right now?" I asked.

"Better now than never. They'll wonder why she's not home."

"I don't know if I can do that to them..."

"I'll tell them, but you should be there. They'll want you."

I sighed, nodding. We made our way to the living room, where we heard the boys playing. Gabriella was sitting on the couch, staring into space. We'd let her know over the phone that the doctor took Gracie off of the life support and other machines.

Gabriella looked over at us as we walked in and I sat next to her. Her arm wrapped around me, pulling me into a side hug and she rested her head against mine. "I'm so sorry, Shar..." she whispered. "I'm so sorry..." her voice cracked.

"I don't know what to do," I whispered back.

"You'll know later. It'll come to you."

"Mommy? Where's Gracie?" Matt asked.

I stared at him for a few seconds before looking at Troy. Troy cleared his throat and sat on the couch with me and Gabriella, motioning for Matt to come to him. Bryce sat in my lap.

"Gracie..." Troy started.

"Where is she? Does she have to stay at the hospital for a few days?" Bryce asked.

"No, honey," I said.

"Boys... Gracie's not going to be able to come home," Troy said.

"Why not?" Matt asked.

"Because... Gracie passed away."

"What does that mean?"

"She died, Slugger..."

Bryce turned around on my lap, burying his face into my neck. I felt his body shaking, as he tried not to cry, but he was old enough to understand. I ran my hand over his back, kissing his head.

"Why?" Matt asked. "How come she died?"

"Because she was in the car for too long. The car was too hot for her to be in it and her body couldn't handle the heat," Troy said before swallowing.

I watched Matt. His eyes pooled with tears. His bottom lip retracted behind his tiny little teeth, trying not to cry. A few seconds later, he whined and started wailing, like he missed his mommy and wanted to go home from a sleep over.

Bryce finally let out a sob and I squeezed my eyes shut, my own tears falling down my cheeks. I rocked him back and forth slowly, running my hand over his back and I heard Gabriella sniffling repeatedly, trying not to break down.

"She's still with us in our hearts," I said with a strained voice. "She's not here in person, but her spirit is with us."

"Why did she get in the car when she wasn't supposed to?" Matt asked, coughing.

"She got distracted by her candy, honey. She forgot she wasn't allowed in the car."

"She's stupid!"

"Matthew Chad Bolton," Gabriella scolded.

"Go lay down in your room, buddy, I'll be up there in a minute," Troy said.

Sobbing, Matt ran out of the room and Troy leaned over, kissing mine and Bryce's heads. "I'll be back down when I get him calmed down," he whispered.

I nodded and turned my face into Bryce's neck as he did the same to me. I hugged him tighter, never wanting to let my baby boy go.

"I don't want Gracie to be dead," Bryce finally said through coughs.

"I know, honey, none of us do," I said, wiping his tears away with my thumbs.

"How come God took Gracie? How come he didn't take me? I'm older."

I let out a rack of sobs and Gabriella sniffled, pulling Bryce into her own lap, letting him lay his head on her chest.

"Sometimes God works in ways we don't understand, Brycey," Gabriella said. "God always has a reason to take someone, even if we don't understand or like that reason. God needed Gracie to help him with something and he couldn't wait until she was older."

"But, I could have helped him, he didn't have to take Gracie. I would have done it. I would have done a good job, too, the ambulance guy gave me a badge because I did a really good job talking to the police."

"I know sweetheart, but this job was meant just for Gracie. If a job isn't meant for someone and they take it, they won't do a good job. Gracie's going to do a really good job at what she's going to do."

"What's she gonna do?" Bryce asked, coughing and wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

"She's going to watch over everyone and make sure they're okay."

"But we're not okay because she's not here with us."

I held my head in my hands, silently sobbing. I felt Gabriella's hand running across my back.

"She's in our hearts," Gabriella said, tapping Bryce's chest. "Right in there. She always will be. I promise."

"She'll never leave?"

"She'll never leave our hearts. Ever."

"Never ever?"

"Never ever."

I was thankful for Gabriella. Especially that day. When we graduated high school, we became really good friends. She's our kids' godmother. I wouldn't trust another living soul with my children but Gabriella. Her being there for us to tell the boys about Gracie helped a lot. I wouldn't have been able to explain it to Bryce as well as she had. I'm thankful for her every single day. I always will be.