Disclaimer: I'm sure you guys heard! I won the legal battle for the rights of Inglourious Basterds! Quentin Tarantino was there and all the actors! All of them! Even Batman and Sherlock showed up and I think I even saw Sam and Dean Winchester…. Wait was that a dream?! Damn…. I knew that having so many hot men around seemed suspicious…

A/N: Hey, everyone! I have to say this one came out pretty quick compared to the last two. I was laying bed and ideas just came at me like rocks tumbling down the mountain side. Woot Woot!

Leena: I took your ideas in consideration. I really did. I know that you want Lena with Dieter. Hell, I started this story with that in mind. However, it changed and I am sticking with Wicki. Sorry, I hope you can forgive me. He just kinda grew on me :D However, I do have ideas for Dieter.

So don't fret Dieter fans, chapter 10 won't be the last of him. I would love to tell you more, but I don't want to spoil it for ya.

Lena

Chapter 12: Jokes and Shoot Outs

"Woah," Donny said with wide eyes when he sat down next to me. "That is one hell of a shiner. That is huge bump."

"My brain is so big it is running out of room. Unlike yours, which I am sure has more than enough room," I teased. Donny roared with laughter. He slung his arm around and pulled me in for a sideways hug.

"It's great havin' you back! Though I am surprised, I not riddled with bullets holes for touching ya. So where's your guard dog?"

"Wilhelm, isn't my guard dog," I huffed. "Aldo wanted to talk to him."

"It's Wilhelm now, eh?" he said wagging his eyebrows at me. "What brought on the change?" I childishly stuck my tongue out at him in retaliation. He opened his mouth to retort, however Aldo cut him off entering the room, commanding everyone's attention.

"Now that Little Lena has recovered from her tumble let's get this meetin' underway. I don't like rendezvousing in bar with Nazis," Aldo said. He pulled out his spice box and snorted a bit before placing back in his pocket. "Now where is the movie star we supposed to be getting' intel from?"

"She went downstairs for another drink little while ago. Apparently the bar man left it opened for her."

"Well then, go get…" Aldo was cut off by the sounds of guns down in the bar.

-o-

Bridget gripped her bleeding leg. The gun wound hurt worse than she ever imagined a gunshot wound would. Not that she often thought about what getting shot would feel like. All she really knew was that it fucking hurt.

"Whoever's down there should make there self known real quick if they are our guys. 'Cause I am about to drop a fucking grenade, if I am not told what the fuck is going on."

"No!" Bridget screamed. "It is only me and ze crazy Russian!"

"Well we can't exactly trust that, now can we? They could easily have a gun against her head," Hicox stated.

"Hey, big nose! Is there bad guys down there?" Alfred called out.

"нет*. None that are living," Ivan replied, satisfactorily. An eerie laugh followed that disturbed the men upstairs.

"We can't trust that either!" Donny whined, pissed off about the whole situation.

"Nah, if Ivan is alive the enemy is dead. Ivan doesn't surrender," Alfred said with a big grin as he ran down the stairs. I feared that one-day, Alfred's eagerness and trusting nature would get him killed.

The scene downstairs was horrific. Blood was everywhere. I stepped over a Nazi that was riddled with bullets and his face was distorted. It seemed to have been beaten in. I noticed Bridget sitting on the floor up against the bar, gripping her leg. Ivan was standing next to her, drinking from a bottle of Vodka. There was a gun on the bar next to him, which looked like he sat down in favor of the bottle of booze. However, in his left he still held a water faucet pipe that was covered in blood. I suspected that was the culprit in the case of the caved in face.

Donny and I surveyed the room and said the first things that came to are mind at the same time. "Fuck a duck!"

-o-

Woof, woof.

They sound of dogs and other animals surrounded us in the tiny vet's surgical room. I stood next to Bridget as she laid down on the table. She was sweaty, covered in blood, and very much in pain. My heart went out for the poor woman. She gripped my hand as the doctor injected her with some antiseptic. I watched as the doctor prepared to remove the bullet, before Aldo pulled him away.

"You mind tellin' me what the fuck happened?" he asked sternly with his arms crossed.

"Why are you asking me? Ze Russian was there too. Ask him!" Bridget huffed. She couldn't believe that after getting caught off guard and getting shot, the American was still finding a reason to be pissed at her.

"Why? I am askin' you. Now, while I don't know this Russian, though I happen to know my nephew and I trust him. He seems to trust the Russian, however I have no reason to trust you. So start explaining."

"I know zhat the Germans being there seems odd," Bridget started.

"Yeah, we got a word for that in English. It's called suspicious," Aldo said sticking his finger in the bullet hole. "So tell me what happened."

"What the hell are you doing?!" I shrieked.

"Hey, Lena, you have to admit this is shady. She goes to the bar for a 'drink' and a group of Nazis appear," Donny said leaning over Bridget, ignoring the injured woman.

"Then why would they shoot her," I fought.

"Maybe the Russian blew it. He saw them, fought them, and the missy here accidently got shot in the process," Aldo fought back calmly. I felt a little seed of doubt begin. I knew Aldo and Donny. I knew the Basterds. I knew nothing about this woman. However, I was not going to sentence her without concrete proof.

"Why don't we all calm down and ask Ivan what happened," I said suggested gently as I gestured for Aldo to remove his finger from Fraulein Hammersmark's bullet wound, which he reluctantly complied. Conveniently, Ivan decided at that to walk through the room, curiously carrying a bundle of sunflowers. A made a mental note to later ask him how and why concerning the sunflowers.

"Ivan," I excitedly called out. Ivan turned and was alarmed that all eyes were on him.

"Da?"

"What happened down at the bar?"

Ivan looked to his upper right and tapped his chin with his free hand. "Nazis came in and I killed them," Ivan finally said with his trademark creepy smile.

"Yes, we gathered that. We need to know why they were there," I stressed.

"Ahh, well one of them was asking questions, da. However, I don't speak German. He was yelling at me and Кинозвезда*. So violent, you Germans are."

"Buddy, one word; Communism. You have no room to talk," Alfred piped in from the back.

"I did hear one say something about English while holding up three fingers," Ivan said ignoring his American friend. "When we didn't answer he reached for his gun and then I killed them."

"See," I said gesturing towards Ivan. "It had to be the men from the bar. They too noticed Hicox's slip up. I'm sure they waited to sober up and decided to go to the last place he was seen. However, their plan, that did not involve Fraulein Hammersmark, turned south," I finished crossing my arms.

"Ah, fine!" Aldo relented. Bridget leaned over and grabbed my hand. She gave it a tight squeeze in thanks. I smiled and then helped the tired vet get ready to take out the bullet.

A/N: Okay, there it is! Woot woot! So how was it? You guys and gals know I love hearing from you, da? Lol Till next time –MacBeth :D

P.S- I am looking for a beta reader. So if you are interested give me a holler. I have no idea how it works so if you are interested you will always have to explain it me. :D