A/N: okay so this is the follow up... the story is still unfolding in this one so stay patient... the fateful dan - serena showdown is still a chapter away

this chapter was getting too big so i posted what i had... i have a habit of skipping words when transitioning my thoughts to words... so please bear with me till i get better at it... the flash backs are in italics.

hope you enjoy...

Serena woke up from her slumber. There were noises downstairs that brought her back from her beautiful dream.

'what a wonderful dream….' she thought

The dream she had starting having since the day she met him. The dream kept on varying in details over the years but certain aspects still remain. The look when he saw her. Her reactions to his beautiful words, promising her their forever. The completeness she felt when she heard "I do". The passionate kiss that made her forget everyone and everything else…

The knock on the door made her snap out of reminiscing the dream. Her mother made her way into her room.

'serena dear you should be up by now. It's only the most important day of your life' she said. Making her displeasure clear to her.

'you would know, right mom.' She retorted back. Earning a stern but sad glare from her mother.

' serena I don't want to argue with you. Especially not today. Just get up. Everybody is waiting for you downstairs.' Lily replied.

With that she left her room closing the door behind her. She still could not believe how much had changed in the past year. She remembered painfully the events of exactly a year ago.

'Mom…' she said over the phone, voice cracking as she could not conjure up anything more.

Lily heard the fear in serena's voice. 'what happened dear? Where are you? I'll come over'.

'At… at the hospital' she said.

'why? Are you okay?' her mother asked.

' yes…umm… no' she could not think straight. So she just blurted out. 'Dan and rufus were in an accident.'

'hold on dear. I am on my way' she said cutting off the sobs from the other end.

By the time Lily reached the hospital serena was a mess. She was shivering and crying continuously. The worst had happened to rufus and dan was hanging on by a thread. Lily was distraught at the news, she wasn't with rufus anymore but it didn't mean she didn't care. She wanted to deal with her grief in the same way she always did, avoid it. But seeing serena in the state she was she could not make herself leave her daughter's side. She knew she had to be the strong one in this. She could not stop being there for her daughter now. Not after already being late in doing so, over the years.

'I wont survive mom…' crying on her mother's shoulder as she hugged her. Holding on for dear life.

'I wont survive…. If he doesn't …. Doesn't make it' she says in between her sobs.

'don't.. don't say that…don't even think it…. he will survive… and so will you' her mother replied consoling her, trying to get her to calm down.

After crying for another few minutes in her mothers arms. She drifted off to sleep from sheer exhaustion. It was two in the morning and dan was still in surgery.

She must have slept for only half an hour when she got up again with a jerk, Looking horrified.

'its okay honey… go back to sleep' her mother said concerned.

'I'll wake you up when they have any news' she said again.

'I can't mom… it just keeps coming back as I close my eyes…' she replied keeping her eyes open so that the image does not come back to her mind. But it was no use.

'I – I watched it happen… all of it' she said with pain in her voice. The bile in her stomach rising up her chest as the image of the accident kept flashing across her mind. She started crying again as her mother tried to comfort her.

'it was horrible…' she continued as she recounted the accident to her mom.

The tears were spilling continuously from serena's face when the doctors finally appeared to approach them. She wiped her tears getting up still fearing the worst.

'He is stable now. The injury on his head is the major cause of concern for us.' Doctor said. She simply nodded not able to think of anything else.

'is he out of danger' lily asked.

'that is difficult to say…he is still critical… the next 72 hours is crucial. If he can gain consciousness completely then it is fine… otherwise we may need to do another neuro-surgery' the doctor replied and walked away.

The next two days for lily were the longest ones in her life till date. She was filled with grief over rufus. She had to do the worst part of informing jenny and Allison about it as serena was in no condition to do so. She was worried sick about dan and serena, dan hadn't been conscious till now and more than 48 hours had passed. Serena hadn't left the hospital since the night for more than a change of clothes every morning. She had been by his bed side, continuously sobbing, trying to get him to wake up. Hoping and praying he would.

The third day things started changing. Serena came home by herself without anyone pushing her to do so. She informed her that the surgery was scheduled the next morning. She said she was going to meet someone to get a second opinion for it and went away again.

She returned only in the evening looking surprisingly calm and cold. She told her the meeting went well and the leading expert on neuro-surgery for trauma patients was flying in tonight to do it. She went straight to her room after that. Lily thought something was off about her. But she didn't say anything to her.

The next morning lily went to serena's room only to see her up and staring blankly out the window. Lily asked this time.

'what is the matter serena. Why are you not ready? We will be late' she said

' I am not going' she replied bluntly.

'why' she asked in return. Couldn't believing her daughters words

'I have done what I could. Now its up to them'. Serena said curtly.

' that doesn't mean you should not see him once before it.' She retorted

' Maybe I don't want to' she replied with a cold blank stare.

'fine' lily sad sighing. She didn't know what had gotten into her daughter. She could deal with scared and vulnerable serena but not this cold and uncaring one. She never had been able to previously either. Her demeanour put her off. She had more important things than to deal with the old serena again. So she left the room and went to the hospital.

Dan's surgery was successful and he woke up two days after the surgery. Lily had gone to meet him a couple days later. He had asked her about serena. She lied to him that she was busy with some work she had forced her to look after. She didn't have the heart to tell him that she spending her days in bed getting over the hangover she had from drinking off the previous night. But the worst of all she didn't have the heart to tell him that she had moved on already. She was going around with someone else now.

The events that transpired after the week did not please lily. But she had no control over serena who was back to her old self. The only thing constant in her daughter's life in the past year had been him. So when she told her that she was engaged and she was going to marry him, she thought it was for the best. Maybe marriage was really a good idea. She would settle down in a family. She would not be herself after marriage she thought. So even though she had her apprehensions about the guy she agreed. Not that serena would have listened anyway. And she actually didn't have any say in the matter when the date got decided. Not only was it too soon but it was on THE day.

Lily brought herself back form the trip down memory lane when she saw blair walking up to her, with her dress in hand. She better get ready it was already getting late.

'here…. Hope you wanted lost weight since the last fitting' blair said handing her the dress.

'I wish' she said with half a smile.

'go get ready. I'll handle serena' blair replied with a knowing smile.

As soon as her mother left she dropped to her bed. Tears streaming down her face. She did not want to do this but she had no other option. She had to do this. This was the best way of saving him she thought. The only way. There is no turning back now. If the things were the other way around he would do the same she thought. He would do anything for her.

Review please... would love to hear your thoughts about the story as i have a little idea where this fic is going but its still evolving as it goes along... so please please review.