Chapter 11
They'd set up camp right on the ridge
overlooking the pasture. The night was
clear and the wind blew a mild breeze
through the overgrown grass and tall
trees swayed in the distance. The two of
them lay spread out on a blanket, a
roaring fire just a few feet away keeping
them and the food warm as a mild cool
front pushed through the area from the
North. Dinner was excellent. They ate
small, bite size pieces of food Austin
had cooked himself.
"Here, taste this last bite for me. It's
hot like you like it. It's a shrimp,
jalapeño, bacon something. I found the
recipe online." Austin ran the bite over
the peppered jelly before lifting it to
Kitt's mouth. Kitt laid on the blanket, his
body sprawled out with his head close
to Austin's knee. His standard Bud Light
was close by while Austin opted for
wine.
"I'm gettin' full," Kitt said, but still
opened for the bite. No way he would
refuse anything from Austin, especially
something he cooked with his own two
hands. Kitt chewed it down and Austin
leaned in.
"I got some jelly on the side of your
lip," Austin murmured, leaning further in
to swipe the sweet and spicy mix from
the corner of his mouth. "Mmm… You
taste delicious."
"That's your food you're tastin',"
Kitt said and leaned up on an elbow to
reach for another shrimp.
"It tastes better on you." Austin
chuckled at the roll of Kitt's eyes.
"Whatever! Open up, have you tried
it? They're delicious." Kitt rose further
up to give Austin the bite he just picked
out. Austin sucked his fingers in, licked
them as Kitt pulled them out.
"Mmmm… You're delicious. I think
you need to be on the menu." Austin
waggled his eyebrows as the perfect
follow up on the cheesy line.
"You're a mess, Austin," Kitt said as
he reached over to grab another bite. He
popped it in his mouth before he laid
back down on the blanket and looking up
at the stars. "I'm glad no storms came
with the front. I like us bein' out here
together."
"Me too." Austin brought another
piece of shrimp up for Kitt who ate it
easily.
"We eat too well. You're gonna get
me fat." Kitt swallowed and lifted up to
take a drink of his beer.
"Yeah, I don't think there's any fear of
that. You work way too hard, but you
know, it might not be such a bad idea for
you to gain a hundred or so pounds.
Maybe it'd help my insecure heart not
worry about Fisker or any others coming
to steal you away from me," Austin said
absently.
Kitt cut his eyes directly to Austin.
There was a lot in those words just said.
He laughed at the funniest thought. "If I
gain a hundred pounds I'm not sure
you'll wanna keep your eye on me, but
give me another bite! We can try it and
see which theory proves true..." Kitt
swiped the shrimp through the jelly
before popping it in his mouth.
Austin just laughed at him. He'd
slowly put things away as they were
finishing. He moved the shrimp now,
keeping it close to Kitt, but making room
for himself to lie out beside him. Austin
propped his head in his hand. He was at
the right angle for Kitt to move in and
kiss him softly. "Thank you for dinner."
"So this is your favorite place on the
planet?" Austin asked.
"Mm-hmm." Kitt managed to look out
over the darkened pasture. "My dad and
I would come here when I was a little
boy, before things got so messed up
between us. And my oldest sister
sometimes came out here with me when
I'd come home to visit. I imagined if I
ever got married it would be right here. I
would have to plan it perfectly with the
wind blowing gently, like this, but in the
daylight." Kitt loved this part of his
land. It was in the very back of the
property, right along the property line,
and he'd spent so much time here
throughout his life it felt like his
personal sanctuary. Tonight was no
different. As he lay there looking out
over the pasture, he watched the night. It
took him a minute to realize what he'd
just said and he could feel the heat
creeping up in his cheeks. He tried to
cover it as he pushed up on his feet to
stoke the fire.
"I think I was just ensuring I'd never
marry. What person in their right mind
would agree to have a wedding out
here?" Kitt chuckled. He tried to make
light of the thought, adding logs to the
fire. As he worked, Austin unrolled their
sleeping bag.
"You know we might be an absolute
mess in the morning. I'm not sure it was
one of our brightest ideas to try and feed
each other in the dark," Kitt said, over
his shoulder, looking at Austin who
stood stretching his long body before he
began to undress. Kitt turned back to the
fire and tossed a couple more logs on it.
All of the remnants of their dinner were
gone and the sleeping bag was laid out
on the blanket for a little extra padding.
"It's cold over here by myself,"
Austin said from inside the sleeping bag.
"We can't have that." Kitt grabbed a
beer and a bottle of water from the small
cooler, a roll of paper towels, condoms
and lubricant, laying everything within
easy reach. He stood between Austin
and the fire undressing before he
stretched out.
Austin didn't hesitate to move into
Kitt's arms. The pillow was positioned
so they could both lay on it, but Austin
opted for Kitt's chest to lay his head on,
only giving Kitt a small kiss, not letting
him take it deeper like he tried to do.
"It's colder outside, winter's close,"
Austin murmured. With Kitt's urging, he
lifted again for another kiss. Austin
again denied him from deepening the
kiss. He kept it simple and sweet, which
was not at all the direction Kitt had in
mind.
"That's October in Texas for you,
warm days and cool nights," Kitt said
casually. He wondered why they were
talking about the weather. Kitt took more
initiative and rolled them both so they
lay on their sides. Running his nose
along Austin's jaw, Kitt wrapped him in
his arms, caressing his fingertips down
the bare skin of Austin's back to his ass.
Both their cocks were good and hard.
Kitt pivoted his hips, rubbing them
together as he snuck his finger down to
massage the tight rim of Austin's ass.
"I was thinkin' maybe I'd lick you
right here tonight. See if I can get you to
come with just fuckin' you with my
tongue. We haven't done that before, but
I've wanted to. I used to be pretty good
at it in college," Kitt whispered in the
crook of Austin neck. He kissed and
nipped the skin as he spoke. Austin again
leaned in for a kiss, but kept it light and
stopped his hand before he was able to
slide his finger inside. That was a hard
sign to get past and Kitt looked up
confused. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. I just like spending
time with you. It doesn't always have to
be just sex," Austin said looking him in
the eyes. It kind of threw Kitt off.
"Okay." He pushed back to match
Austin's position. He lay with his head
propped up on his hand, but the
confusion was clear on his face.
They spent a lot of time talking and
never about anything important or
relevant to their lives, except maybe
when Austin asked him questions about
the ranch. Everything else was either the
past, like what happened to kids from
high school or safe topics like world
events and what beer was the best on the
planet. That answer never changed for
Kitt no matter how Austin tried to
persuade him Bud Light wasn't truly the
king of beers.
"Stop with that look… And come
closer. I didn't mean for you to move
away. Scoot closer," Austin said.
After a minute of speculation Kitt did
move back with Austin meeting him half
way. Austin pushed Kitt back down and
leaned up on his elbow. He looked
down at Kitt who just watched Austin,
trying to read his expression. Kitt
couldn't get a vibe for what he might be
thinking. Austin gave nothing away.
"I'm gonna miss you when I go back
to California," Austin said, studying
Kitt's face.
There was a pause as Kitt tried to
figure out what the sentence really
meant.
"You might decide you like it better
there and stay. It's a pretty lonely kind of
life around here. Or wait, is that what
you're tryin' to say to me now?" Kitt
asked, immediately schooling his
features and forcing himself to stay
casual as the pain of his unguarded
words pierced his heart and ran rapidly
throughout his body.
"Absolutely not! Babe, I like it here. I
know I get in the way and slow things
down, but I like working my body,
learning all these new ways of things. It
feels right to be here." Austin lifted his
fingers to run across Kitt's lower lip as
he spoke. "Besides, I've had everything
but solitude since I've been here. You
all night, Mike and the guys all day… I
need some alone time!" Austin leaned
forward for another chaste kiss on his
lips. "Remember what I told you in the
truck. I want this between us, Kitt. I do."
Kitt let it settle between them. Gave
his heart the minute it needed to slow, to
stop the instant jerk of panic and ache.
His gaze still searched Austin's face.
"How long are you gonna be gone?"
"I hope not more than a day, maybe
two, max," Austin replied, now back to
just staring down at him. He ran a stray
finger across Kitt's cheek.
A day wasn't so bad. Kitt's heart
begged his brain to listen to Austin's
words. He didn't want to be the always
too practical, negative and analytical
one, constantly dissecting everything.
"When I was growin' up, I always
thought I'd be outta here the first chance
I got. I hated workin' with my dad. He
took raisin' me so seriously. I'd get licks
for goofin' off, and the whole time he
was wallopin' me, he'd tell me it was
for my own good, to make me strong. But
the first chance I got, I didn't bolt. I dug
my own roots in. I wouldn't even know
what to do if I wasn't ranchin' and
runnin' cows on this farm."
"You're really good at what you do,
Kitt. Mike talks about you all the time."
Austin showed some anger when Kitt
spoke of his father, but never mentioned
it or said anything.
"We all help each other out. Mike just
didn't come from that kind of life. It
always surprised him when I'd show up
to help, but he's always the first one
anywhere to lend a hand. He's a good
guy. I'd like him from the beginning.
Older than his years. He's only twenty
three, you know," Kitt said.
"There's more to it than that. Besides
you act older than your years, too. I think
it's this farming lifestyle. Micah's kids
are the same way."
"Mike's a good hire for you," Kitt
replied, not saying anything more. He
always shut down when Austin tried to
compliment him.
"I can see that."
Silence fell between them. Austin kept
his eyes on Kitt, searching his face, and
Kitt resisted the urge to run a hand over
it to see if any stray food might be left
behind.
"You're a very handsome man,"
Austin said a little louder than a
whisper. Those eyes of his kept roaming
his face, and Kitt couldn't stop his
crooked grin from stretching across his
lips.
"Not so much. Not like you. I'm pretty
scarred up and broke my nose one too
many times," Kitt said. That was his
dad's doing.
"I've been trying to think of anyone
I've ever thought was as handsome as
you," Austin said quietly, "but I can't
come up with anyone."
"You help my ego." Kitt grinned as he
ran a hand through Austin's thick hair
and then down along his jaw until his
fingertip ran the length of his face.
Austin was so good with the
compliments. He said them to where Kitt
wanted to believe them, even the crazy,
absurd ones like this one.
"I want this to continue between us. I
don't wanna slow it down. Straight guys
have friendships all the time with each
other. It can just look like you're my
buddy, but I don't want this to slow
down at all. I like it. You're unexpected,
but very good for me," Austin said,
entwining their fingers together as he
spoke.
"Okay. We can see how it goes," Kitt
said cautiously.
"I wish things were different. You
need to know I would date you. Take
you out, show you a good time and feel
privileged to be with you." Austin
brought their joined fingers to his lips.
"I'm havin' a good time like this. I
don't need to date." A mischievous
smile came to Austin's lips at Kitt's
words.
"A good enough time to ditch Fisker
for good?" Austin lifted his brow in
question, but kept his eyes trained on
Kitt.
Kitt stared back, not answering. How
were they back here again? This was
like the third or fourth mention of Sean
in the last twenty four hours. Kitt didn't
want to talk about this at all and Austin
wouldn't give it up.
He'd already texted Sean, told him
he'd met someone unexpectedly. Sean
hadn't taken it well. He'd called Kitt a
fool for wasting away over someone
who wouldn't be there in a few months.
By the end of the text Sean made it clear
he'd be there for Kitt when it was all
over, but Kitt would have to work hard
to get him back, and Sean looked
forward to the moment. Kitt knew that
without question, Sean was one hundred
percent right, but none of that mattered
right now. Because Austin already meant
something to him, and even if it was only
for a few months, or hell, even if it were
only days they shared together, he didn't
regret letting Sean go.
Austin tightened his grip on his
fingers. "Don't avoid the question this
time. Answer me."
"I've been with Sean for a long time."
As soon as the words came out of his
mouth, Kitt could see the hurt they
caused Austin, but he quickly masked it,
hiding behind something Kitt wasn't sure
about.
"I understand." Austin leaned in to
kiss Kitt deepening it quickly. He pulled
his hand free to reach low and stroke
Kitt. It brought his half aroused cock to a
full rigid hard-on in seconds. Somehow
the tables had turned. Now it was Kitt's
turn to stop Austin by placing a hand on
his. He pulled from the massage and the
kiss, linking their fingers back together.
"Hold up, Austin. You didn't let me
finish. You need to know I don't play
around. I've been with Sean a long time.
He's the only person I've been with over
the last five years. I can give him up
with no problem. It's just I don't know
how long you're gonna be here or even
want me. What if you go back tomorrow
and decide to stay? And if it's not
tomorrow, then the next time you get
called back? What happens when you
decide you've had enough of this life, of
this town or of me? You're an
international superstar. You've
experienced life on a level I'll never
understand. This is all I've ever done or
will ever do." Kitt's voice was low and
he had a hard time keeping eye contact.
It felt like he rambled, but he forged on
through everything on his mind, hoping
he answered whatever question Austin
was truly asking him.
"It's so frustrating! I can't get anyone
to believe me. I'm done with that world.
That life isn't what it's cracked up to be.
I would put this last week up against any
other time in my life and I would pick
you every time. I'm done with that out
there. I promise you, I'm done. This is
where I want to be. Right here, right
now. For me, I know if I stay off the
radar, they'll eventually leave me alone.
Someday I'll be able to lead a normal
life, but Kitt Kelly, I swear to God, if the
last five days with you are any
indication, I can promise you I'm gonna
want you there with me." Austin faltered
in his words as he looked Kitt directly in
the eyes.
"Austin… You don't even know me."
"I know enough." Austin's reply was
instant.
"Is this a commitment you're willin'
to make in return?" Kitt asked, knowing
in his heart Austin wouldn't be able to
handle it long term no matter what he
said.
"Absolutely I will. I have fierce
jealousy going on inside me about
Fisker. He was too smooth… Too good
looking. I think we could both easily
give a commitment and follow it.
Seriously, how much more could I need?
I have you three, four, five times a night.
I'm fucked good and happy, Kitt. Unless
I had you all day, too. I'd like that
more," Austin said.
"How do you know that about Sean?
When did you see him close enough to
know that?" Kitt's question was sharp.
"Shit… Damn it, Kitt, don't be mad,"
Austin said and dropped back on his
back.
"What?" Kitt rose immediately,
looking down at Austin.
"I told you we followed him in. When
he got to your place, we tracked him.
You were so pissed off at my men you
could've easily blown it for me," Austin
said, looking up at the stars now
avoiding Kitt who loomed over him. It
was an effort on Austin's part to keep
his eyes averted from Kitt who was right
over his face.
"You told me you tracked him. It was
dark. What did you do, watch me?"
"Kind of…" Austin said with a
wince.
"So you knew without question before
you ever asked me that night?" Kitt
asked even though the answer was clear.
"Well, I didn't see what went on in
your house." Finally Austin's guilt
stricken eyes came back to Kitt's. It
looked like Austin was regretful, but
still for a man who hid and went out of
his way to be so careful…
"Damn, Austin," Kitt muttered and fell
back, breaking their stare.
"I know! I know and I deleted all the
pictures."
"You took pictures?" Kitt popped his
eyes back in Austin's general direction.
"We had to know who Fisker was…
Head off anything trying to get in. If I
needed to leave, I needed to know,"
Austin quickly defended his actions.
"He was there for me!" Kitt said and
scrubbed his palms down over his eyes.
Austin and his entire security team had
known he was gay from the beginning.
What if it got out?
"I know that now! And it made me
crazy, insanely jealous and I didn't even
know you!"
"See? You don't know me like I've
been telling you. If you did, you'd know
I wouldn't ever tell anyone you're here.
I don't spread a bunch of bullshit
gossipy crap! Austin, you took pictures
of me and Sean, shit!" Kitt sat up with
his legs bent up, and stared out in the
night.
"Kitt… Damn it, I was wrong to have
those pictures taken. I knew the minute I
got them it was wrong and I do know
you now. Do you remember when we
were in high school? You played
baseball on Varsity. I was a senior.
Remember that?" Austin rose up next to
Kitt, wrapping an arm around his back,
trying to pull Kitt to look at Austin.
Kitt wouldn't answer.
"I watched you shower. I felt like
such a perv, but I did. You grew into this
hot body that summer. Everyone knew
your dad sucked. He worked you hard,
too hard. You stood in that shower with
the water pouring down you. All these
muscles flowing and I watched and I
remembered. I still remember."
Memories of that day came flooding
back to Kitt. He'd thought he was the
only one in the showers but he'd caught
sight of Austin leaving the showers from
the corner of his eye. When he'd
realized who had just turned away, his
dick had grown instantly hard. It was a
hard-on to end all hard-ons, and he'd
been worried Austin might have seen
him get hard. At the time Kitt had thought
Austin left because he didn't want to be
there with him. And now… To think
Austin had stood there looking at him
like he would look at Austin... Damn.
Kitt shoved himself up off the
sleeping bag. Austin reached for him, but
he moved away. Kitt had all those same
possessive emotions coursing through
him as Austin seemed to have. He was
jealous as hell of Austin going back to
Cara and that life, especially now he
knew Austin swung both ways.
Kitt knew what he and Austin shared
wasn't love no matter how strong it felt.
All this flowing through him was sexual
tension and deep seeded lust, nothing
more. It was his pin up poster come to
life, materializing in front of him.
He bent down close to the fire, resting
his arms on his knees and watched the
flames flicker. Being asked to give up
Fisker when Austin had a line of ready
sex partners just about everywhere...
Doing both men and women sure made it
easy to find someone to fuck. How
pathetic would it look for him to have
already broken it off with Sean? Except
Austin had thought about him over the
years… Damn it! Kitt's runaway heart
burst at the possibility of what that might
mean.
"You're a frustrating man, Kitt Kelly.
Come back to bed." Austin matched
Kitt's position and wrapped an arm
around his shoulder. He leaned in but
didn't pull Kitt to him, just looked at
him. "I'm sorry. I've asked too much,
too soon. I need to prove myself to you.
This whole relationship thing is all new
to me. Here's what I should have said.
I'm not going be with anyone else,
you're enough for me. You can do what
you want, I'm fine with it. Now come
back to bed… It's getting late and I want
to make love to you at least a dozen
times before morning." Austin grinned
and kissed Kitt's shoulder.
Kitt only did a sideways glance, but
turned back to the fire not trusting
himself. Austin rose and held out a hand.
"Come on, I'm really sorry for bringing
all this up. Come back to bed."
Kitt took the hand and stood, but
wrapped his arm around Austin's waist,
anchoring him tightly against his chest.
Kitt's eyes trained on Austin's with an
intensity he was sure he couldn't hide.
Kitt was learning that although Austin
was an accomplished actor, there were a
few seconds after every word spoken
that Austin was raw, showing his honest
feeling before reminding himself to hide
behind his skill.
"I already told Sean I couldn't see
him anymore. I was clear that I'd met
someone down here. He thinks I'm a
fool to trust it." Kitt finally cut his eyes
from Austin's, landing his gaze
somewhere around his chin. "I'm not
comfortable being photographed without
knowin' it, but I get you need the
protection. I want you safe. We're gonna
have to work somethin' out, somethin' in
the middle that's good for both of us,
because I like the idea of the future you
just drew out. But you have to know I
won't ever willingly come out. Not as
long as I'm responsible for my
stepmother and sisters and this farm.
They need me to be at the top of my
game and this industry's too redneck,
they're never gonna accept a gay ranch
owner. They would never take me
seriously, all they would ever see when
they looked at me is whether I topped or
bottomed, nothing else would matter. I
can't have that, Austin."
Austin used his thumb of their joined
hands to push Kitt's chin up, forcing his
eyes to follow.
"What is it you need? Is it money? I
have enough money to keep you and
everyone in this town livin' in style—"
Austin began, but Kitt cut him right off.
"No, I'm not takin' your money! I'm
workin' my way out of a financial mess
my father left behind. It's for me to deal
with, no one else, but I can't risk
anything right now. I don't have the
luxury to gamble at anything," Kitt said
firmly.
"Is that why you sold me the land?"
Austin asked.
"I don't want to talk about it anymore.
It's my responsibility and I'll get through
it on my own. I've got the hay baler now,
cows about to go on sale and four
Quarter Horses about to pop. I'll handle
it myself." Kitt had already said more
than he intended and refused to say
another word.
"If this lasts between us we're going
to have to talk about it because that's
what couples do. Not that I'm jumping us
ahead to couple status so get that look
off your face. You frustrate me, Kitt.
You never give. Ever. What would be so
bad about being a couple? No, don't
answer. I don't want to argue anymore
tonight." Austin brought both his hands
up to cup Kitt's face, holding him right
there as he spoke.
"There are far more important things
we should be concentrating on… I want
to fuck you like crazy and then do it
again! I'm celebrating. Fisker worried
me…" Austin leaned in to capture Kitt's
lips with his own. He thrust his tongue
forward, swiping at the seam of Kitt's
mouth until he gained entrance. He
wasn't going for the sweet tender kiss
Kitt planned. No matter what angle Kitt
came in, he never got the upper hand in
the kiss. Austin dominated him at every
turn and Kitt grinned when he found
himself being pushed down to the
sleeping bag.
"Lay down, Kitt, before I drop you to
your knees on this hard ground. I'm
feeling possessive as hell right now.
You made me work too hard for that
commitment. You make me work too
hard for even your simplest smile. I need
to fully fuck you until you get it through
that thick skull of yours that you're
mine." Austin meant every word said.
It was pitch black outside with only
the stars and fire giving off any light.
Kitt stumbled as Austin flipped him
around. He landed on his knees on the
sleeping bag. Austin was right there on
him. His movements were forceful as
Austin spread his legs, sliding two dry
fingers in his rim, stretching him quickly.
"I can't see the lube," Austin
grumbled still working Kitt, adding a
third finger. Kitt felt around on the
ground in the general direction of where
he thought he laid it earlier and grinned
when he found the lube and condoms.
For a short moment Kitt thought he might
tease Austin, say he couldn't find them,
but he gave the guy at his ass a break and
tossed them over his shoulder.
Austin wasted no time. He condomed
up and burrowed deep inside Kitt in the
first mind blowing thrust of his eager
hips. Austin easily conquered the tight
rim, going straight for the spot,
massaging there as he dove inside.
There was only a momentary hiss
from both men before Austin pushed Kitt
down between his shoulder blades.
Austin kept his hand there to hold Kitt in
place. Kitt's head was smashed on the
sleeping bag, or it may have been the
ground, who knew for sure.
Austin kept one had on Kitt's back
and anchored the other hand against his
hip. He lifted and rose on his feet for a
better angle and used the leverage from
Kitt's body to help better pound into
him. Those sweet moments of gentle
caresses and loving words were long
gone. Austin worked Kitt over like he
had a right to be there. Austin balls
slapped Kitt's ass with every single fast
thrust he made moving deeper and
deeper inside him. He had no choice but
to take it and open wider. Austin wasn't
going to be done until he claimed Kitt in
both body and soul. There was no
formality to it, definitely no foreplay,
just the hard fucking they both seemed to
desperately need.
"It feels good... Move a little to the
left…. Yeah! Fuck, Austin! That feels
good."
"You're mine Kitt. Say it. Say you're
mine." Austin jackhammered his hips,
relentlessly pounding into Kitt. He
pushed down harder with the hand
holding Kitt's hips forcing his ass a little
high in the air.
"Say it Kitt. You've made me wait too
long. Say it," Austin demanded, panting
between deep breaths.
"I'm gonna come," Kitt said through
deep, breathy moans.
His response caused Austin to drive
harder into his ass. Austin said
something as Kitt's body felt like it was
ripping apart. The lines of pleasure and
pain were so blurred, Kitt reached out
fisting the sleeping bag, shoving his ass
higher in the air to get his hand around
his own engorged cock.
"Say it," Austin growled changing his
position when he realized Kitt was
stroking himself underneath. He pushed
Kitt's hand away, and gripped Kitt's
dick, squeezing it tightly, refusing to let
him come. The pounding never stopped.
"Say it, and I'll get you off," Austin
bellowed it.
"…I'm yours…" It came out in a
whimper.
"Yeah you are." It was all Austin
needed to hear. He stroked Kitt
erratically, with no skill whatsoever,
making Kitt instantly come. Austin
shouted his own release just seconds
later as he fell forward on Kitt's back,
pushing them both down on top of the
sleeping bag.