Chapter 15
Kitt crawled down off the hay baler
with a jaw cracking yawn tearing across
his lips. It was three forty five in the
morning and he couldn't sleep. He
wiped the sweat from his brow,
smearing oil and engine soot across his
forehead, and shrugged his Carhartt
jacket off his shoulders, tossing it aside.
It didn't seem to matter how hard he
worked or what he did, Kitt's mind
stayed completely wrapped around
Austin, never giving him the slightest
break, not to even get a couple of hours
sleep.
Night two of Austin being gone, and it
amazed Kitt how much he missed the
man. At the same time it scared the crap
out of him. He'd thought he had a better
mental hold of himself. His arms seemed
to miss holding Austin at night. When he
closed his eyes the only thing he saw
was the image of Austin smiling his big,
toothy, sexy grin. Austin's real smile.
The one he gave any time he teased Kitt,
or they laughed about something just
between the two of them. Kitt missed
that smile.
Kitt didn't call Austin the first night.
Fear kept him from making the call. His
heart was too closely connected, making
him too involved, and Kitt needed to
find distance between them.
Complications weren't his thing. Kitt
lived his life as a totally drama free zone
and it needed to stay that way. The
movie star Austin Grainger had drama
filled complication stamped right on his
forehead. Austin needed to either move
back to Hollywood or move back to the
place in Kitt's mind where they were
fuck buddies. Fuck buddies didn't
matter. They were tension relievers and
nothing more. Kitt shouldn't care about
how Austin coped in his crazy ass
situation back in California. He had
never thought about Sean's coping
ability in any situation.
Kitt placed himself in straight up, pure
protection mode. If Kitt could slip
Austin back in the right spot inside his
brain then it wouldn't hurt so badly to be
without him, and Kitt definitely would
be without Austin. If these last two days
were any indication of the future, Kitt
would be a big whiny ass mess when
Austin finally left him for good. He
couldn't let it happen.
To give Austin credit, he kept Kitt
informed. He messaged every few hours
both day and night. Austin told Kitt
everything they were doing, and every
text included sweet words of missing
him. Austin also started calling. Kitt let
the calls go to voice mail. About midnight
tonight he finally responded to
another text Austin sent asking if Kitt
made it home yet to give him a call. He
didn't lie when he said no, but he just
left his house to come back to the barn
once he figured out there would be no
sleep tonight either.
The text he'd sent back was a moment
of weakness laced with a small amount
of compassion. Kitt got the impression
Austin was a little desperate, or it
could've just been his own emotion he
read inside the typed words of the text.
He probably shouldn't have asked how
Austin held up, it invited conversation,
but he couldn't help it. Austin replied
back immediately, he was just waiting
for Cara to wake so they could board the
flight. Kitt told himself it was nothing
more than polite manners, not the deep
connection he felt, and he texted back a
simple, 'Make sure you take care of
yourself'. Kitt didn't reply to anything
else.
An old fold-up chair sat in the corner
of the work barn housing the baler. Kitt
sat down with a thump and dropped his
head in his hands. There were so many
other things he should be thinking about
besides Austin. He had two long days in
front of him to get ready for a long month
of hay cutting and baling. His entire farm
would work from sunup to sundown,
seven days a week. They needed to cut
and bale thousands and thousands of
acres of hay, and in return Kitt would be
getting half of every field they worked as
payment.
On top of all that, he'd only got two
firm contracts to sell the hay. He'd had
some verbal promises, but they were
falling through, and as it stood right now,
if he didn't get on the phone and start
making some calls, he'd be stuck with
about twenty thousand bales with
nowhere to put them.
Kitt shook his head hard. Okay, so
thinking about the farm caused as much
tension and worry as thinking about
Austin. So what else could divert his
sleep deprived brain? Kitt rose,
grabbing a stray wash rag as he strode
from one barn to the next, making his
way to Lady. She was the current pride
of the farm, his best Quarter Horse.
Kitt caught it happening in her without
doing the math, or any exam at all. He
saw Lady's belly tightening up and
watched her moving a little stiffly. He'd
brought her in the barn yesterday,
keeping her close by. She was early. The
vet planned to come out in the morning
to do a full exam on her, see if Kitt was
correct in his guess. He couldn't wait
though for her to give birth, and for the
first time in two days his heart lightened.
He could feel it in his bones, her new
little colt was going to be something
special. The first of four something very
special's coming to the farm; two colts
and two fillies if the sonograms held
true. They were all sired by the year's
Triple Crown racing champion. Surely
to God they would sell in the tens of
thousands on the open market.
Their sire came in at twenty to one
odds and blew his competition away at
all three derbies. Kitt had gotten his
sperm a couple of years ago, way before
anyone even knew the horse's name.
He'd tutored the owner's son through
Organic Chemistry in college before
they had any idea what the pony had in
him. With the Triple Crown Title on
their heels, these yearlings should be
easily selling come spring, maybe even
before then. Besides these four, Kitt
saved four of the eight vials he got as
payment. If he could do this same thing
again, he might be turning a solid profit
this time next year. Wouldn't it be
something to actually have money in the
bank instead of all this debt hanging over
his head?
Kitt perched a leg and both arms on
the gate to Lady's stall. Their eyes met
and she turned away. It caused him to
chuckle. She only did things on her terms
making Kitt lucky she seemed to like
him. This mare was his favorite. She had
a way of seeing inside him and they
connected for a minute as she turned
back to him before walking over to him.
He wiped his oil stained hands on his
jeans, knowing she was expecting a
good rub. He opened the gate, went
inside and gave her one. Before he
turned away, she did her signature move
and knocked his ball cap off his head.
"You think you're pretty smart, don't
you? Well, I guess you are," he said,
grinning as he picked up his ball cap and
put it back on his head. He hadn't
stepped far enough back because she
was right back on him again, knocking it
off his head.
"Good night, girl," Kitt laughed,
picking the cap up again. The grin stayed
with him as he cut off the lights and
made his way back to his truck. Another
deep yawn started and lasted as he got
inside his truck and started it up. It was
completely dark outside and seemed like
he was very much alone, but now he
wondered if Austin's people were still
watching him or had they stopped since
Austin wasn't around?
Kitt drove the trail home with the
windows rolled down. The cold night
air hit his face, making sure he didn't
nod off. His phone sounded off at the
same time his mind went fully back to
Austin. He thought about ignoring the
call but it was almost morning. Rarely
anything good came from a call in the
middle of the night. Kitt couldn't help
the confused smile tugging at his lips
when he saw Austin's name on his
screen. Even with all the lecturing he'd
just done to himself, Kitt was too tired to
resist, and answered on the third ring.
"Everything okay?" Kitt asked,
bypassing the standard greeting.
"Are you awake?" Austin asked.
"I am now," Kitt teased, the smile still
on his face. Austin's words soothed his
soul and calmed his nerves like nothing
had before.
Silence.
"I'm kiddin', I'm up. I couldn't sleep.
How are you?" Kitt pulled the truck to
the front of his cabin. He turned it off,
but sat in the cab waiting for Austin to
answer.
"Why couldn't you sleep?" Austin
asked, his voice weirdly quiet.
"I don't know. I guess I just have a lot
on my mind right now," Kitt said resting
his arm out the window. He kept the
phone to his ear and leaned his head
back against the head rest. It was worse
than Kitt had realized. He was so edgy
because he missed Austin, and just his
voice put everything back to right in his
world.
"Am I part of what's on your mind?"
It took a second, but Kitt finally
answered somewhat honestly. "Maybe a
little."
"Hmm… I like that. You're on my
mind, too. I couldn't sleep. One night
tucked away in a sleeping bag with you
and now my body thinks your arms need
to be around me in order to get some
rest." Austin chuckled as he said the
words Kitt felt so deeply in his heart.
There was another pause before he
spoke.
"How're things there?" Kitt asked.
"We had our little intervention, then a
big clearing of the air between us all."
Austin's voice was weary. "Cara's
finally up and dressing, and we're going
to be heading out soon. I think if
everything goes like we planned, Cara
and I are going to publically break up in
the next couple of days. I've found out
Cara and Seth developed a thing
between them, and all this hiding's
messing it up for them, or her, or
something like that. They told me they've
hooked up a couple of times. They have
lots of emotion about it all. That's what
drove her to this round of... Well,
whatever it is she does when she gets
like this."
He was silent for a moment. "I don't
really know, I couldn't wrap my head
around it. I just kept thinking about you
the whole time they were talking."
"So it was good you went back?" Kitt
asked, trying to follow it all.
"Cara needed it," Austin said.
"How will this affect you?"
"I don't see how anything will change.
It'll keep me at the top of the newsfeeds
for a little longer, but the faster we break
up, the faster I'm off them," Austin said.
"You haven't liked bein' back? Didn't
miss it all?" Kitt asked, his voice a little
quieter. It was his ten million dollar
question he braved up to ask.
"Hell no! They spotted me almost
immediately. It's such bullshit. The ride
from the airport to my house is like a
thirty minute drive and it turned out to be
three hours of hell trying to get here. I
told the driver just to run the bastards
over, but he wouldn't do it. Wimp!"
Austin chuckled at his last sentence and
then there was silence between them.
"You still there?"
"Yeah, I was listenin', thinkin'," Kitt
said pulling himself from the truck. He
walked up the steps to his house and
completely relaxed now. He made his
way to bed, stripping with one hand as
he went.
"Sometimes you get so quiet," Austin
said, and there was another pause
between them. "You haven't been
responding much to my texts or calling
me when you say you will. You know
that it kills me waiting to hear from
you."
"I'm sorry. I just keep thinkin' it's
pretty boring here compared to there."
Kitt pulled the blankets to his bed back.
"I never want to be back in this mess
again, Kitt, and I haven't been bored one
time since I moved back there," Austin
replied. There was silence again and
Austin went a different direction.
"How's your sister?"
"Good, at least as far as I know. She's
going back this morning." A yawn
slipped out from Kitt, and he hoped
Austin didn't hear it. He wasn't quite
ready to end this call yet.
"I liked her. What're you doing today?
Getting ready to start baling?"
"Yep. So you do listen…"
"Of course I do. Sucking and fucking
aren't the only things that interest me
about you. Am I buying hay from you?"
Austin asked quieter.
"I think so." Kitt wasn't a hundred
percent sure, but he figured it was a
pretty safe bet. This time his yawn was
louder. Kitt scooted further down in bed
and turned over on his back. His dick
was hard just from hearing Austin's
voice. Kitt anchored the phone on his
shoulder and grabbed a couple of
tissues. It wouldn't take much to jack off
once the call ended.
"Good, I'll make sure with Mike.
What're you doing now?"
"Just talkin' to you." Kitt thought that
if he was quiet, he could close his eyes,
and think of Austin here with him… He
gripped his dick and shoved the covers
down. He put the phone on speaker, and
laid it on the pillow beside him. .
"I miss you, Kitt. While we were all
talking, all I could think of was how
badly I wished I was spending this time
with you." Kitt let Austin's words coat
his heart and give him the emotional
support he craved. He'd become a little
fragile in that area since meeting Austin.
"This quiet thing you do is hard on a
guy's heart. I can't read your reactions
over the phone and you pull so deep
inside yourself," Austin said.
"Hmm…" It was all Kitt managed.
He'd already started the slow back and
forth motion with his hand. His eyes
were closed, and he was picturing
Austin in his mind. He listened to the
melody in Austin's deep rich voice.
"You just aren't gonna give me a
break, are you, Kitt Kelly? Well, that's
okay. I'll fight for it. It'll make my
winning you all that much better in the
end," Austin said making Kitt chuckle,
or groan, in the phone.
"When are you leavin'?"
"I don't know. They're in the
bedroom now supposedly getting
dressed. I guess she needs him to help
her button her blouse. Apparently, at
twenty five hundred dollars an hour, the
plane can just sit and wait," Austin said
dryly and Kitt did the groaned chuckle
again, increasing the pace, moving his
hand faster tip to base. He reached his
other hand low and gripped his sac. A
deep moan escaped his lips.
"Are you jacking off without me?"
Austin asked, still quiet, but amused.
"You sound sexy as hell. Why didn't you
tell me, I would have joined in."
"God damn your voice does it for me,
Austin. I'm close." Kitt's breathing got
heavy and he arched his back stroking
faster and harder.
"I need you, Kitt. My dick's so hard
for you, baby. I'm shoving my hand
inside my shorts now. My office door
isn't locked... I don't care..." Austin's
voice got breathy as he continued on, "I
don't wanna find a pool boy to take it
out on…. Let me just catch up. Baby, I
want to suck you right now so badly…
right there on your bed. Me between
your thighs… Damn, have I told you how
much I love your dick when it drips? I
love knowing I can do that to you. It's
my dream… sucking you..."
"I'm coming," Kitt groaned out,
thrusting his hips forward, arching his
back as his hot seed shot straight out
onto his stomach. His breath panted, his
head spun, and he shouted out into the
room, "God damn it, I miss you, Austin."
"Ahh, yes! That's it," Austin said
quietly. They were both silent for a
minute or two. Kitt let himself float back
down to earth before he turned his head
toward the phone. He was sated,
relaxed, and ready to sleep his orgasm
off.
"Did I hear you say you have pool
boys?" Kitt asked still in the fog as he
reached over for the tissue and slowly
began to clean himself off. Austin gave a
breathy chuckle and it was a second
before he answered. His voice was now
deeper, more relaxed, than earlier. It
seemed they'd both needed it.
"Yeah, but they're little guys, and
even from the back I couldn't close my
eyes tight enough to believe it was you,"
Austin said. Kitt could tell he was on
speaker now. Austin moved in and out of
hearing range, probably cleaning himself
up too. Kitt had no idea what to say to
that, so he tossed the tissues in the trash,
covered up with his blanket, and took the
phone off speaker, laying it on his ear as
he turned over, tucking the pillow under
his head. Another yawn slipped out. He
was totally in that after sex place. He
could sleep so easily.
"Quiet again… I like when you said 'I
miss you, Austin'. I came instantly…
Baby, I don't want to be with anyone but
you right now. It's just I'm already
feeling like a more honorable man since
I met you. It's dirty here, I feel dirty
being in this house. I want it to be just
you and me. You're enough for me until
we both decide on something else."
"Like a third?" Kitt asked on a yawn.
His eyes were closing, but opened at the
thought.
"I don't know. It'd be hard to share
you... Maybe years down the line. Do
you add thirds in?" Austin asked.
"I haven't since college," Kitt
confessed. "I've never had any emotion
in my sex before. It's just been whenever
the opportunity presents itself, however
that deal played out."
"Me, too. I'm glad to hear you
admitting the emotion. These are good
first steps for you, Kitt Kelly. I hear
you're tired. Go to sleep. I should be
home some time tomorrow and I'll text
you, because I know you won't text me."
"I'm sorry about that. I don't know
why I get like this… I'm not sure I
believe you'll actually come back," Kitt
said, his eyes fully closed now. He was
snuggled up in the blanket, the ceiling
fan blowing, and between the hand job
and Austin's voice he was lulled into
sleep.
"It's okay," Austin said. "I'm pushy
enough to stay in front of you." Kitt
never heard the words. He was already
fast asleep, dreaming of Austin wrapped
in his arms.