Warning: brief depiction of domestic abuse and sexual content
Fiona contemplates the crown molding as Jimmy ruts her into the mattress, considers the color of her bedroom wall, and anticipates the moment he will finish. From the strain of his pelvis, the tilt and push against her own in a passionless deadlock, she will not have long to wait.
She wraps her arms around Jimmy's shoulders in a cheep imitation of an embrace, and stairs directly into the bright light of her bedroom lamp, into the face of the alarm clock until Jimmy groans, stiffens against her. He pulls out, rolls to the side; Fiona's thighs bear the sticky evidence of his release.
Jimmy wraps an arm around her waste, pulls her close, and kisses her naked shoulder. Fiona managed to stay in the tight circle of his arms until he drifts off. Mercifully, she does not have long to wait; men fall asleep so quickly after sex.
Fiona detaches, obstructs the evidence of their coupling with a quick swipe of a tissue, pulls on her clothing, straightens her hair, and then steels Jimmy's mobile from his pant's pocket.
She moves like a shadow, creeping from her own bed through the halls of her own home like a brigand with the weight of Filip's heart in one hand, the burden of Jimmy's love in the other, and Kerrianne's life balanced carefully between her full palms.
Her daughter lays in her bed, tucked underneath the blanket, eyes wide and glazed.
"You should be asleep, lovey."
"Are you all right, Ma?"
Kerrianne's voice sounds so tiny, soft from abuse and fear. Another rive opens in Fiona's heart.
She smiles and lies. "Nothing a good nights sleep can't mend."
But Fiona cannot sleep, not now. The opportunity to escape might arise at any given moment, so she must be ready to grab her daughter and flee. They have only one chance because Jimmy will kill her if he catches them.
Quickly, Fiona changes into pajamas (wincing as she raises her arms to unclasp her bra, the bruised skin of her side protests the pull of skin as she raises her arms), turns off the light, and climbs beneath the covers. She strokes Kerrianne's hair; there is congealed blood around the boarders of Kerri's nails. Oh, my darling girl.
"Ma?"
"Yes, Kerri."
"Why didn't you go to Da when I was little?"
"Oh, Kerri. It's not as simple as all that."
Fiona sighs, reminded of the secrets held close to her soul like a brier patch around a rose. Though there is nothing pretty left of my spirit, save Kerrianne.
Disappointed, Kerrianne rolls away, pulling the blanket up to her face, using her hair as a veil. Fiona waits for her daughter's breath to deepen and slow before pulling the thumb from the pleat of her daughter's mouth, smoothing the mane of hair away from Kerri's face.
Then she rises from bed, purpose strengthening her resolve. Her side aches as she bends, reaching for the dirty clothes in the hamper, finding her pants, retrieving Jimmy's mobile from the pocket. She pressed the keypad, wondering what time it was in Charming. Regardless, Filip picks up on the first ring.
"Hello?"
Fiona swallows hard, past the hard ball of emotion because until this moment she had not known he was alive with any degree of certainty. Jimmy could have killed him easily.
"Hello?"
"It's me," she grounds out.
"Jesus, Fi. I've been trying to get a hold of you for days."
Fiona's eyes drift closed. She takes a deep breath, deep enough for her ribs to ache. It feels like days since she has breathed properly. "Yeah, well..."
"Are you all right?" He asks.
"I'm in one piece," She says because bruises heal.
"And Kerrianne?"
"Kerri's fine." The lie slips from trembling lips
"Listen," Filip says, voice low and urgent. "This has to stay between us, Fi. We might be headed your way."
"What? Why?"
He went on to explain about Jax Teller's missing baby, about Cameron, about Jimmy leading them around on a wild goose chase.
"I'm sorry, love, I don't know why Jimmy lied about the babe. I'm in the dark, but he said something tonight, about Kellan Ashby."
"What did he say?"
"He's getting ready to make a move against him." She swallows, remembering the feral look in Jimmy's eyes as he talked about murdering one of her oldest friends. "Greed is making Jimmy sloppy. He's demanding too much reward for his work."
A beat of silence ruined by the beautiful sound of him breathing into the receiver. Memory stirred, tender as any fresh bruise.
A pair of strong arms props her up, holds her close. A mouth pressed to her ear, a cheek pressed against her own. Filip's breathing labored and warm.
Fiona presses her nose into his shoulder; he smells of worn leather and cigarettes. Her fingers clutch at the reaper on his back. "I have to go soon," she whispers.
"Aye," he replies, mouth finding the sliver of skin behind her ear. "Fi -"
Her whole body feels like an exposed nerve.
"Fi?"
She is still an exposed nerve, battered by every strike and slap of life. Once more, Fiona locates her voice and forces it out. "I need to go."
On the other side of the world Filip sighs. "Stay safe, Fi. Just...Tell Kerrianne that I love her, yeah?"
"I will. You stay safe too love."
Fiona closes the phone. She presses the heel of her palm to her mouth, stifling any response but the instinct to survive.