He pulled me in, holding me like he always used to. It was the most passionate, wonderful, kiss I'd had since I had been with him. Warm and gentle, yet there was a certain desperateness in it. We needed each other. The spark was there, it always had been, but nowadays it was more of a fire burning between us, that not even Summer could put out. It was him that broke the kiss after a few seconds.

"I can't." He said standing up. "I can't cheat on Summer, this is all wrong. I'm so sorry Robin. I just need to go, I just got to think over a few things." And with that he left.

For the next week or so, I did everything I could to avoid Barney. And I did a pretty good job, until one night. I had gone up to the roof, to get away from the group, who were down in the apartment talking about who knows what. Then I heard a voice coming from behind me, the voice of Barney.

"You little minx," he said, classic Barney, I thought. "I haven't seen you in ages! You don't know how many times I had to go looking for you and couldn't find you. You're never at home, or at McLaren's, I even checked the shooting range a couple of times. You're not answering your phone or any of my messages."

I turned around looking him straight in the eye. Those beautiful, blue eyes of his. "Well what did you expect? I didn't exactly want to see you after what happened."

He came toward me, "Robin, I'm as confused as you are, ok I love you, you know that, but I love Summer too. I'm marrying her. And I can't cheat, especially not with you. It would cheapen our relationship, and I love you too much to do that. Look, I can't keep doing this, Robin. I have to move on, I realize that now. What if we got back together? What would happen if we broke up again? What Summer and I have, its simple. It's easier this way."

"Well, it's not for me. Ok, none of this is!" I yelled, surprised by my own outburst. "If it's not gonna work out between us then me seeing you, you telling me that you love her, that you're marrying her? I don't need those kinds of reminders. It's great that you're moving on, now let me do the same thing." And then I left, because the last thing I wanted was to talk to Barney about how screwed up everything had become.

…

Ted had always been there for me, through thick and thin, good times and bad. And in times like these, he was exactly who I needed.

"What's happened to me? I used to be so strong, the old me would have never gotten this worked up over a guy, especially one like Barney Stinson."

"You're in love. It's a common condition that I have been through millions of times." This made me smile, Ted was always falling in love, and it was always something that had made me, and the rest of the group laugh, but now? Now, I understood.

"Why does it have to be Barney though? I mean of all guys, why did I have to fall for Barney Stinson?" I asked jokingly, although it was true.

"Beats me." Said Ted, "Although, I have to admit, you guys are kinda perfect for each other." I made a face, that was the last thing I would've expected Ted to say, well maybe not the last thing, but anyways, "Look, Robin." he said leaning in across the booth, " I've always looked at Marshall and Lily and thought they were the world's best couple, but then when you and Barney got together? For the longest time, the idea of Barney falling in love seemed like the last thing that could ever happen, but you changed that! You changed Barney. He gave up a lot of his, um, lifestyle, to be with you. And that, my friend, is true love." This made me smile. Ted always knew exactly what to say, yet at the same time, I could tell he was being 100% truthful with me. He meant every word of it. "All I know, is that Barney is lying. He's lying to you, he's lying to Summer, he's lying to all of us, and most importantly, he's lying to himself. He loves you, and whatever he's trying to accomplish by marrying Summer is just a distraction. He's taking the easy way out."

Ted was right. I knew he was. Barney did too. He just refused to admit it. After my outburst, I didn't see Barney for a while. The wedding was a month away, and I wasn't sure if I would make it. So, despite my trying to move on, I decided to do something I knew I'd regret. I went to his apartment. It was a bad idea. I knew that, but I had to see him. I couldn't help myself.

…

"Robin." Barney was surprised when he opened the door to see me standing there, not really knowing what to say. "I wasn't expecting to see you."

Suddenly it hit me. What was I doing? Why the hell did I come here? How is this supposed to help me get over him?

"I-I shouldn't have come here. I'm sorry. I'm just gonna go." I stammered, trying to stop my damn eyes from watering.

"Wait a second." His voice was warm and endearing, I couldn't help but smile. He took my hand and led me to an empty seat beside him on the couch. "I'm glad you're here. I haven't seen you for a while."

"Yeah, I've just sort of been freaking out about the wedding. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have lost my mind like that."

"It's okay, I haven't been all that calm either lately." He replied with a small smile.

"Dammit. How did things come to this? I mean, remember when we all first met? Everything was easy, simple. Okay maybe not that easy, but, it was a lot easier than it is now. How did things get so complicated? Barney, I want to be friends with you. I like being around you, I care about you. But, I can't deal with this. I don't want to see you marry her. And I don't wanna see how things play out after the wedding either. I just don't know what to do. You and Ted and Lily and Marshall. You're like my family. But I can't see you and Summer without wanting to cry. And I certainly can't bear seeing you two all the time for the rest of my life. That would kill me." Despite everything I tried to do to stop them, tears were rolling down my face.

It was all so ironic. It was Barney that was causing me to feel this way, yet he's the one I turn to to spill out my emotions. I've changed so much and I hate it. I used to be strong, independent, now I feel so helpless and pathetic, losing my mind over a guy.

"I'm so sorry." It was a real apology. A true, genuine, apology.

"I'm such a mess. I am so sorry I came here. I'll see you later." I didn't give him a chance to respond. I was out the door before he could take a single breath.