That night at MacLaren's, I did everything I could to try and keep my cool. It didn't help sitting awkwardly across from the happy couple. I put on a fake smile as soon as I sat down and have been trying not to lose it since. "That's great." I said as Summer chatted about the flower arrangements.

"I was thinking roses would look the best. They have just such a romantic feel to them. You know?"

"Just great." I said taking a suspiciously large sip of my drink. "So, so great. I'll get the next round." I practically jumped out of my seat, glad to finally have an excuse to stop listening to her talk. I stood by the booth and just for a second, locked eyes with Barney, who had just taken a quick glance in my direction. I couldn't do this anymore. And then I did what was probably the most spontaneous, dramatic thing I've ever done.

I hurried out of the bar and hailed a cab, trying to move as fast as possible so that by the time anybody noticed I'm gone, they won't have a chance at catching up. After a couple of minutes, my phone rang. It was Lily. I wanted to talk to her, but couldn't take the chance. She's with the group, I can't be in contact with any of them right now. So, I ignored her call, along with many more from various members of the group during my cab ride.

When I left the bar, I had no idea where I was going to go, but by the time I arrived at the airport, I knew. The last time I felt like this, I had gone to Argentina. Even though that was totally different. It was manageable. It was controlled. The feeling… it was much, much less than this, but it was the same. So that's where I was headed, to the sandy paradise of Argentina.

My plane ride there was un-productive. Usually, long flights like this would bore the crap out of me, but today, it wasn't so bad. It was nice to just sit and think and be comforted by the fact that every second of it was bringing me farther and farther away from the heartbreak of seeing them together.

Argentina was just like I remembered, the warm beaches, peaceful skies, but everything else in my life had changed. I didn't bother getting a hotel. I hadn't even brought anything with me. I went straight to the quietest beach I could find. I wasn't sure what I was doing here, but the truth was, I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to soak it all up and forget about what I had left behind. And that's exactly what I did.

I lay there for hours. Trying so hard not to think about Summer, or Barney, or the fact that their wedding was quickly approaching. Of course, that's all I thought about. Who was I kidding? Being in Argentina didn't change anything. I couldn't lie here forever. And Barney and Summer were still going to get married. All of that is still there, what difference does it make if I'm on the other side of the world?

My phone rang for what must have been the hundredth time since I left the bar. I looked down at it to see Barney's name on my screen. I decided to ignore the tiny voice inside of me that told me he's the last person I should be talking to and answered.

"Hey Barney."

"Hey? Robin, we've all been trying to reach you for hours. You just disappeared out of no where, we're all really worried. Yet, you say hey?"

"Sorry, I just… I needed to get out."

"Where are you? We've all checked everywhere. Your apartment, the shooting range, the Hoser hut…"

"I'm in Argentina."

"Robin, what the hell are you doing in Argentina?"

"I told you, I needed to get out."

"Get out of the bar maybe, but you left the country? You gotta come back to New York! You can't leave us all with no warning."

Can't leave us all with no warning. I wished I could quote that back to him… the way he left me without warning when he came to the bar one night with the "good news". The good news that broke my heart. And what warning did I get?

"I'm staying."

There was a pause, and he hung up.

…

I woke up the next morning on that same beach. I convinced myself to go get something to eat, even though I wasn't hungry. After that I decided to spend my day the same as the day before. I lay on the beach for hours, wondering how much longer I can do this. It didn't make the hurt go away. It didn't make me forget. It was just comforting being so far away from the source of it all. I closed my eyes and reminisced about when Barney and I were together. It seemed so long ago. It wasn't perfect, we were as messed up as a couple could possibly be, but it felt right. Being with him was the best thing I'd ever had and I had lost it.

I took a deep breath and re-opened my eyes to hear a far too familiar sound.

"Robin!" I sat up and turned around to see Barney, in a fine suit, standing across the beach looking at me. Instead of his usual flirtatious, confident, smirk he was seemed worried as hell, yet relieved.

"Barney, what the hell are you doing here? How did you even find me?" I yelled walking towards him.

"What the hell am I doing here? Robin, I came here looking for you."

"I told you, I'm fine." I lied.

"No, you're not. If you were fine you wouldn't be here."

"Seriously, how did you find me?"

"Please." He said as if I had asked about what he does for a living, which I still didn't know.

"The point is you need to come back to New York! We miss you. There's a flight back that leaves tomorrow and I want you to come back with me on it."

I sighed, knowing he wasn't going to take no for an answer. "Fine. I'll come back."

He smiled and hugged me. Which surprised me…. But at the same time, I really did miss him.

"So, where are you staying?" he asked pulling away.

"Actually, I've been sleeping on the beach." It sounded way more weird when I actually said it.

"You're not tonight… I'll get us a proper hotel." I smiled, and nodded.

…

When Barney said "Proper hotel" I figured you know, a hotel. Things changed when I stepped inside what was probably the nicest hotel in the country. It wasn't fancy exactly, it was just beautiful. The rooms had huge king-sized beds (two per room) and the walls were painted in a chocolate-y brown with cream swirls around the edges. Little glowing candles were placed here and there and next to long flowing curtains made of silk.

"I thought you deserved the best, since you've been sleeping on the ground."

I decided to skip over correcting him that it was only one night. "Thanks Barney." I smiled.

"Um, I know this has been rough for you and all…" Barney said sitting down on one of the beds, "but it would really mean a lot to me if you'd come to the wedding."

I nodded, "Okay, I'll be there, I promise." As much as I didn't want to go, I owed it to Barney. He flew all the way here to see me, and he's been so understanding while I've been having my tantrums. I sat down beside him. "I want to be with you so badly. I know you're getting married and I usually can't admit these things to myself let alone you… but there's no point lying. I made a huge mistake and I'm really sorry and I know this doesn't change anything, I just want you to know the truth." Sitting beside him was one of those things that I both loved and hated… having our thighs so close, barely touching, made me want him more than ever, and I hated wanting him. "You once said that we made a lot of sense… and I haven't stopped thinking about you and you haven't stopped thinking about me either. But despite all that you're happy, and I want you to be happy. Just know that I will always love you. That's not going to change, but I promise I'll keep my distance."

"I don't want you to keep your distance." He looked up at me. "Robin, you're my best friend. And I will always love you, maybe even more than I love Summer… When you chose Kevin, I understand why you did that, and it's the same reason I chose Summer."

"We should probably get some sleep, the flight leaves early tomorrow." I managed, wiping away a few of the tears that were streaming down my face.

"Yeah,your right. Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight," I said making my way over to the other bed.

That night when I closed my eyes I tried to picture what things would've been like if I'd had a little bit more courage. I should have broken up with Kevin that night. I wish I had, I'd give anything to go back in time, but I knew it didn't work that way. Sometimes we have to live with our mistakes.