AN: Just want to let you all know, I am leaving in under two weeks to begin my AmeriCorps service in California. I don't know what my schedule will be or when I will be able to write/post for this story. If it goes for a while without updates, I promise I am not abandoning it, I just haven't had the time. I am going to try and update it once more before I go, to get you guys through the party! Anyway – hope you enjoy.

Castiel pays and hurries out of the cafe as quickly as he can, hoping he hasn't lost Dean. He'd seen Dean's walls and pushed passed them. It's not something he should've done, but the layers of guilt and self-loathing needed to be broken through somehow. This man has too much good in him to be weighed down by such guilt.

However, Castiel well knows that it will take far more than a day and some encouraging conversation to help Dean. He forces himself back into a professional mindset, doing his best to focus on the task at hand. The best thing now if for him to deliver Dean to Balthazar and let things settle out. He simply hopes he hasn't marred the rapport that they'd begun to build. After all of this he'd hoped somehow, they could be friends.

He finds Dean waiting in the sidewalk, hands in his jean pockets, his expression a neutral mask. He looks so accustomed to wearing it that Castiel's heart twists a bit. He knows what it means to have to hide yourself frequently.

Dean surprises Castiel by speaking to him "Balthazar is next, right?" Castiel nods and answers "Yes. We're supposed to meet him back in front of Rachel's shop." Then steps towards the edge of the sidewalk to summon a cab.

Dean says nothing at all as a cab pulls to the curb to allow them in. He remains silent the entire ride, starting determinedly out the front of the car. It's awkward and the tension is almost painful. The cabby keeps shooting them curious glances, obviously sensing the fact that Dean is smoldering under his cool mask.

Castiel can sense it as well and he waits for the storm to break. He can feel the pressure building, like thunder rolling in the distance. He'd triggered a tempest within Dean, by prodding at the dams he'd built around his emotions; surely it's all about to collapse.

But the cabby pulls up to their destination and Dean exits the car calmly, without giving Castiel a backwards glance. Castiel doesn't stem the heavy sigh that rises within him and he watches Dean approach Balthazar, who's making a show of his exasperation at being made to wait, arms folded and toe tapping.

He releases another sigh, this one sharper and intent, forcing himself to expel some of his own tumultuous feelings. Although he must interact on a more intimate level with most of their clients than the rest of the Fab Five, simply because of his job, becoming so attached to one of them has never happened and it certainly isn't wise.

Still conflicted, but more composed he calmly gives the cabby Dean's home address. The distraction of helping Gabriel finish decorating will be a welcome one.

DEAN

Dean's never felt so damn bipolar in his life. Not when his mother died and his couldn't decide if he should shout in anger or wail in mourning. Not when his father died and he couldn't decide if he should let his shoulders sag with relief or with sorrow. Not even when Sammy got engaged and moved out, leaving him a messy combination of elated and depressed.

He should be furious at Cas for reading him like that, for trying to get inside his head and acting as if he understood him. He is furious at Cas, dammit. The boiling sensation under his skin and the adrenaline pumping through his veins proves that. But -

But another part of him, small and hidden, but just as potent, desperately wants to believe everything Cas said. Wants to fall to the floor and finally release the racking sobs that have been building inside him for years. Wants to shed the layers of guilt that he's piled on himself over the years and just-

No. Cas doesn't know him. They'd met, what? Four hours ago, tops. He's just some stupid, touchy-feely guy who doesn't know what's good for him. Dean knows people who say they see good in him sometimes, but it's just a trick of the light. He's too fucked up to ever amount to anything other than what he's doing now and that's just how it's gonna be. The fury resumes control, simmering at Cas for bringing all the bullshit to the surface, when he'd been perfectly fine shoving it down and continuing with his life.

His face is a mask when he approaches Balthazar, who's acting like his asshat self, doing his best impression of as strict elementary school teacher.

"You know, I have been waiting here for over ten minutes." Balthazar begins and Dean rolls his eyes, his anger at Cas temporarily forgotten in the wake of the irritation Balthazar causes him. "Don't roll your eyes, Dean, it makes you look like a teenager. And furthermore, you'd do well to remember that I am trying to help you."

Dean lets out a wry laugh at that and says "Well if you're expecting me to get on my knees in gratitude, you've got another thing coming."

Balthazar snickers and retorts "I'd watch my words if I were you, Dean. Talking about getting on your knees and coming in the same sentence isn't wise."

A fresh flash of heated anger rears within him, but he shoves it down like everything else and simply wrinkles his nose in disgust. "You guys are douchebags. Every last one of you." It's the wrong thing to say.

"Oh my, have we had a fight with Cassie?" Balthazar asks, latching on Dean's words.

Dean strides away from him, calling over his shoulder "Haven't we got shopping to do?"

"Deflecting!" Balthazar proclaims, but he relents and quickly catches pace with Dean. "Just a quick stroll away is the loveliest deli in town. I'll be teaching you how to make a version of a BLT to serve as well as some simple hummus and pita chips."

"Rabbit food." Dean grumbles in disgust, glad to have something to vent some of his frustration on.

"Yes, Dean. Rabbit food" Balthazar affirms in a whisper of mock horror. "But take courage! I have faith in you."

Dean contemplates the consequences of punching him in the face and has almost decided it'd be worth it when they arrive at their destination. He settles for entering the shop first and shutting the door in Balthazar's face. It's a childish move, he knows, but it makes him feel just a bit better.

The deli isn't the only place they're going apparently and soon Balthazar is dragging him across streets and into small grocers, with exotic foods lining the shelves and large barrels of fresh produce. It's just the sort of place Sam would shop, he finds himself thinking. He's always complained about Sam's healthy habits and he knows he's going to hear about it from Sam tonight, when he sees what Dean's serving.

"Here" Balthazar thrusts a basket at Dean as he's been doing every time they enter the store. At first Dean had taken it without protest, simply wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. But now he's starting to get pissed off. How many ingredients can they possibly need?!

"Can't you carry the damn basket yourself?" he protests, shoving it back towards Balthazar.

Balthazar calmly pushes it back at Dean on moves away, answering "No. You must have me confused with the other gay man, the one in the trench coat who adores you." He casually inspects a jar of Greek Olives while his words set in.

Dean laughs it off at first, because it's the only thing he can do to stop himself from throwing this bastard into the display of organic canned corn. "You know you're shit at reading people." he says, with what he hopes is a convincing grin.

Balthazar replaces the olives on the shelf and continues down the row, selecting another jar. "I'm not talking about people, though. I am talking about Cassie who I have known for so long that he seems like a brother to me. And people can't hide things from their brothers, Dean."

Dean suspect Balthazar is trying to make two points, with his final sentence, but he refuse to let the words get to him. He hardens his face, trying to continue to restrain his fury, because who the hell gave this guy to right? Cas adores him? The smart, successful TV-star with impeccable manners and a gentle smile, adores his idiotic, grease-monkey self? Sure. And pigs sprout wings every full moon.

Balthazar is oblivious to Dean however and casually continues on as if he's discussing the olives he's examining. "Cassie is very good at what he does. He's a very empathic person and he can connect with people very well. However the connect he fosters is always superficial and one-sided. It only relates to what's relevant and he never gets attached." he pauses here and levels Dean with a sharp look. "You, for some unfathomable reason, are different. And if you don't believe me, count the number of times he has smiled today. I guarantee you it's been more than twice, which is his average."

Dean wants to protest at this, but his mind is too busy processing Balthazar's words, and despite himself he finds that he's mentally backtracking through the day, trying to count Cas' smiles. He stops himself partway, remembering his frustration.

Balthazar suddenly selects a jar of olives, drops it in the basket and saunters down the aisle, not allowing Dean a chance to respond. Since the subject is dropped Dean doesn't bring it back up again, silently following Balthazar about, his mind a tangle of thoughts that cause him to wish heartily for some Jack Daniels.

Finally they're done and Balthazar leads him to where the car is parked. Dean had wondered what happened to it, since he and Cas had used a cab to get around. He's weighed down by bags and the strain on his muscles feels cathartic.

He's finally beginning to think clearly about the events of the afternoon and can't help but wonder if somehow, miraculously Balthazar is correct. Maybe Cas just has a crush on him and all that was at the dinner were the effects of it. Or maybe Cas was just a genuinely nice guy, who didn't like to see him beating up on himself.

Either way, Dean decides, he should give him another chance. No one had been at their best through the day and even though he felt like Cas had flayed him alive by dragging all of his past up, he's pretty sure it wasn't Cas' intention. The guy thought he was helping and Dean had thrown it back in his face. Yeah. An apology is definitely in order, he decides at Balthazar turns onto his street. Now how the hell is he supposed to do that?